My mother first looked at my face blankly, then her eyes widened and she became alarmed, but apparently she didn't want to show it. In a trembling voice,
‘I don't know who he is, why are you asking me, I don't understand.’
‘Mom, please don't tire me out, I'm really not in the mood to play games. A man came and told me this name, and also gave me a DNA test and a box and said he told me that you know everything. If you don't want to lose me, please tell me all the truth without cheating.’
My mother suddenly started crying and begging.
‘Suna, please forgive me. I never wanted to upset you. I'm sorry, please don't leave me.’
She cried breathlessly for several minutes. I let her go through her crisis. When her crying eases,
‘Mom, calm down please, I didn't come here to judge or scold you, yes, I'm very angry and I'm not in the right mind, but I need answers. Was what that man said true? Was there a relationship between you and Kemal?’
My mother took a deep breath, drank water from the glass in front of her and looked at me with teary eyes.
“Okay sweatheart, you are right, I will tell you everything, but I beg you, shout at me as much as you want, but don't be alienated from me, baby. Years later, we are on better terms, we are having a longing time with you, don't take that away from me. I have no one but you.
I met Kemal 30 years ago, when I was married to your father for 2 years. This was the time when our marriage to your father started to go bad. Neither he nor I could love each other because we got married at the request of our families. Your father already had another loved one, but they couldn’t married because girl’s family did not want your father so we married. We tried to make it work after we got married, but it didn't work. I saw that when love is not love, marriage is nothing but torture. I did everything I could, I tried to love your father, but he wouldn't let me. He despised me and did everything to upset me. It was as if I had separated him from his girlfriend. However, he knew that there was nothing I could do. He started drinking around that time. He was coming home drunk and beating me. That's when I wanted to break up with him. I went to my family's house and told them about the situation, but they did not accept me.
They said that the married woman's place was with her husband, that even if he beat me, I should remain silent. Then I realized that I was lonely. If I wanted to work and start my own life, I didn't have the strength. I'd never been out of town, I'd never been alone, I couldn't do it. I had to accept your father's behavior towards me and we started living a foreign life in the same house. At first, I never left the house and was busy with the house, but then I started to get overwhelmed and found the solution in our town library. Every day, when I finished my housework, I went there, bought a book I wanted and read it for hours. It felt so good to me, Suna. At that time, your grandmother and grandfather lived in another house and had not moved in with us yet. You know they came to us when you were born, I told you. Anyway, that's where we met Kemal. Kemal saw me before and fell in love at first sight, as he later explained. Of course, I could never put something like this on, neither him nor myself, at first. I was a married woman, after all, I could never commit such immorality. We spent a while just sitting across from each other, reading books and staring at each other discreetly, but then Kemal started talking to me and we set out on a path that we could not stop ourselves. Kemal came to the library almost every day, brought a piece of paper with him, wrote what he was going to say and gave it to me. This is how we communicated and got to know each other
When I told him that it was not appropriate for us to meet because I was married, he convinced me that wasn’t wrong with chatting. We had so much in common that our conversation topics never ended and sometimes we would complete each other's sentences. I was so in love with him, Suna, I lost myself, but of course I couldn't tell him that. After a while, Kemal told me about his feelings and I couldn't ignore it. I was already in love blindly. I found the love, and attention that I had never seen in anyone else, in that man I met in a short time. There was no one happier than me back then. When Kemal found out that I was in love with him, he was overjoyed and did many things to make me happy. We couldn't meet in the library anymore because he would attract suspicion. So we started meeting in places where anyone couldn't see us. Kemal was so good at not being seen that no one suspected me throughout that period. You are also a woman, now you know that when love burns a person, desires come to the throne and you want not only your heart but your whole body to be the same. That's what we did with Kemal. We couldn't help ourselves and started being together. I discovered all my femininity while I was with him. Anyway, I won't go further. When I found out that I was pregnant with you 2 months later, I was both very scared and experienced a strange joy because I was pregnant from Kemal. I was absolutely sure because your father hadn't touched me for the last 6 months because he spent his time either at work or in the tavern. He didn't even come home most nights, I didn't know who he was spending the morning with.
When I told Kemal about my pregnancy, I also told him everything about your father. He said he trusted me and was sure the child was his, but he wasn't happy at all. When I told him I could terminate this pregnancy if he wanted, he absolutely refused. He said that he was in a difficult situation and that it was almost impossible for us to be together, but that he would find a solution somehow. He never told me about that difficult situation. But I couldn't wait for him like this, we were either going to run away or I was going to have you removed. I gave him a month and started waiting. He stopped by me for a few days in the first weeks, but then he made a promise to me and I never heard from him again. He had told almost nothing about himself anyway. I didn't know where he lived, who he was. I still don't understand why I fell for him. 1 month passed and Kemal did not come back. It was still not too late to end my pregnancy, I went to the doctor but I couldn't do it, my love I couldn't do it to you. But on the other hand, I was very afraid of what to say to your father. Then I made a plan and decided to implement it.
I went home and told your father I was pregnant. At first he went crazy and asked how it was even possible he didn’t touch me, and I told him that he slept with me on the evenings when he came drunk, and that it was normal for him not to remember because he was too drunk. At first he didn't seem very convinced, but one evening, when he drank too much, I took him to bed, undressed him and lied down near him. Next morning he saw me near him and didn’t remember what he did.My plan worked, but I waited for Kemal for a long time. Suna, I went to places where I could see him many times, but he did not come. He left me. He disappeared, taking with him my faith in love and people.”
My mother cried non-stop while telling the story. She was still crying for that man as if the tears she had shed all these years were not enough. I would love to be able to tell the truth and put some peace in her mind, but I couldn't put her in danger. I went up to her and hugged her tightly.
“I'm sorry, mom, you were the one who was upset and victimized in this story. But there is nothing to do, we must now look ahead. That man gave me a box and said only you could open that box. Do you know about such a box? Has it been talked about before?”
“No girl, there was no talk of a box. Kemal used to bring me many gifts, but we never talked about a box”
I went to the car and brought the box from the car. My mother examined it but couldn't come to a conclusion. Then she went up to the attic and after a while she came in with a bag in her hand.
“I've been hiding this for years without showing it to anyone. I put it in the wall in the attic. These are the things Kemal gave me as a gift. I couldn't had the heart to throw it away, I saved it”
I smiled and emptied the bag on the table, saying ‘”Is it like you couldn’t had the heart to lose me, mom”. Many letters, papers and accessories such as necklaces, rings and earrings were found in the bag.
“That man said you could crack the code. If he didn't tell you anything, maybe the password might be in what he gave you.”
I read all the letters and papers, thinking that maybe the password was hidden in them, but I couldn't find anything. But Kemal's writings showed how much he was in love with my mother. There were various beautiful words, poems, compliments, almost all sentences that could enchant a woman in letters and papers. All the sentences came from the pen of a very romantic man. It was very normal for my mother to fall in love with this man at that time. I think I would do the same if I were in my mother's position.
I looked through all the items but couldn't find any clues that could be passwords. We had given up hope and started packing the items when my mother suddenly got excited
“I think I know where the password is.” She put her hand around her neck and took out a necklace from her outfit. This was a heart-shaped metal necklace.
‘Kemal gave me this necklace during our last meeting. “Promise me you won't take off this necklace no matter what’” he told me. No matter how angry I was at him, I didn't take off this necklace.’
She took the necklace off her neck and opened the heart-shaped tip. It was empty. She brought a knife and started scraping the inside of the heart tip. When the scraping was finished and she blew out the remaining sediment, we saw the numbers inside the heart tip. I entered the numbers we saw on the screen above the box and the box opened with a click. Suddenly excitement set in. I fully opened the lid of the box and began to examine the contents.
Inside the box were a few documents, a letter and another box. My hand immediately went to the box. This box was not locked. When I opened it, I saw that there was a lot of gold in it. I stood there in surprise. When I picked up one of the gold coins and examined it, I realized it was real gold. There was almost as much gold in this box as a house coin. I looked at the papers and saw that they had title deeds. My mother's name was written on it. Two houses in Izmir and Fethiye were visible on my mother.
“Mother Kemal left you two houses. You wished you had a house, look, there is.”
My mother took the documents I had and started examining them. At first she was surprised, then she got angry and gave me the papers
“I don't want anything from that man. I still haven't forgotten what I went through because of him.”
Since I knew the events, I wanted to soften my mother. After all, Kemal died for her, I had to do this much.
“But mom, they are your right. Think of it this way, he left you and you take his houses as revenge.”
“No Suna, I really don't want anything from him. Besides, you are his daughter, you really deserve these. He couldn't be a father to you, at least he could help you financially. Let's go and put the houses on you. But first, let's see where and how they are. So don't let us get into trouble later.”
I thought that if what the man who came to my house said was true, Kemal had arranged everything and did nothing to cause us any trouble. Of course, it was necessary to make sure and take a look. When my mother said I would give you the houses, I realized that I had to tell her about the situation with Cenk.
“Okay mom, let's go and see how you feel comfortable. I will stay for a few days and we will go with you during this time. But I can't buy the houses right now, it has to wait at least a few months because I'm going to divorce Cenk, mom.”
My mother was as calm as my last sentence as she listened to me carefully. But when I finished speaking, she couldn't grasp it at first, then she put his hand to his mouth in surprise and looked at me.
“Divorce, where did that come from, Suna. What happened honey?”
I told my mother all my experiences about Cenk in one breath. My mother was very upset. Because she loved Cenk. Cenk treated my mother very well and did not hesitate to say anything. My mother always called Cenk the son she didn't give birth to.
“Are you sure how Cenk could do such a thing? He loved you very much, he was looking into your eyes, . Don't decide until you're sure, baby. I don't want you to regret it. You also have a daughter, don't let that baby be destroyed.”
“Of course, I will take action after I am sure, mom, I will show the video to a specialist, but the video I saw did not look fake at all. I also need to see a lawyer and see what can be done. I'm so sorry about my daughter, I wish she would grow up with decent, loving parents, but life is just so you don't know what will happen. I will do everything to prevent her from getting hurt, and even though I don't want to see her father who cheated on me forever, I will forgive him and make sure we become good parents. My daughter will think that we don't get along, not that he is cheating on me. That's why no one will tell her anything, mom.”
“Okay honey,you know best. I am always by your side. But I hope these are not true and your home will not be destroyed.”
“I'll take care of it now, mom. I have a request from you, if I leave Cenk, will you live with me? I can't be alone, Elif and I need you. I said before that you should come to Izmir and live close to us, but you said that you did not want to leave the place you are used to living in. Can you make this fovour for me now? I can't leave Izmir, my job, the environment my daughter is used to, and Cenk is there, you know, I can't disrupt her routine, this may be hard for her.”
My mother took a deep breath and her eyes filled with tears. He hugged me and took my face in her hands.
“My dear daughter, of course I will live. Who else do I have besides you. At that time, I refused to accept it so that you would take care of your family and not mess with me. I know you, you tear yourself apart to please me. Even when you're here, you keep coming. But you need me now and I'll do anything for you.”
While my mother was talking, my tears involuntarily flowed from my cheeks. All these years, she was making me feel sorry for being silent because of my father, as if she was trying to forgive herself. However, I had already forgiven her. I hugged her tightly and inhaled her scent. At that moment, Elif entered, rubbing her eyes, and ran towards my mother
“Mom, I miss my grandmother and I want to hug her”, she said, twisting her lips and becoming coy. We both laughed heartily and embraced my only daughter.
A new adventure was beginning for us and I hope this adventure would make us happy.
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