The Family We Call Lie - Part 3 — THE SAME ROOM

Pagkatapos ng hapunan, isa-isa na kaming tumayo sa mesa.

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Tahimik.

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Walang nag-uusap.

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Parang lahat kami may gustong sabihin...

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pero walang may lakas ng loob na magsimula.

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"Stephanie."

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Napatingin ako kay Dad.

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"Dalhin mo na ang ate mo sa kwarto mo."

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"Opo."

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Tumango lang ako bago tumayo.

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Hindi ko na kailangang lumingon para malaman na nasa likod ko si Shairah.

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Naririnig ko ang mahinang tunog ng tungkod niya sa bawat hakbang.

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Tok

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Tok

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Tok

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Bawat tunog ay parang nagpapaalala sa akin ng isang bagay na ayaw kong isipin.

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Umakyat kami ng hagdan nang walang imikan.

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Walang "Are you okay?"

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Walang "Kamusta ka?"

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Wala.

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Parang pareho naming alam na kahit anong sabihin namin...

57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciWAOe1y3x

hindi iyon magiging sapat.

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Pagdating sa harap ng kwarto ko, sandali akong huminto.

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Hinawakan ko ang doorknob.

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Huminga ako nang malalim.

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Here we go.

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Binuksan ko ang pinto.

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"This is my room."

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Pumasok siya nang walang sinasabi.

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Tahimik niyang tiningnan ang paligid.

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Ang kama.

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Ang mesa.

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Ang cabinet.

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Ang mga gamit na nakakalat sa isang sulok.

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Parang sinusuri niya ang bawat bagay.

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Ako naman, nanatili lang sa may pintuan.

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Hindi ko alam kung lalabas ba ako...

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o mananatili.

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Hanggang sa nagsalita siya.

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"You changed it."

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Napatingin ako.

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"Huh?"

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Tumuro siya sa dingding.

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"It used to be pink."

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Napatingin ako sa paligid.

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Blue.

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Tahimik.

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Mas simple kaysa dati.

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"Blue na ngayon."

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"Yeah..."

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Mahina ang boses ko.

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"Binago ko nung umalis ka."

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Tumango lang siya.

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Wala nang sumunod na salita.

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Tumalikod siya at naglakad papunta sa kama.

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Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa damit ko.

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Hindi ko na kaya ang katahimikan.

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"Ate..."

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Huminto siya.

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Hindi siya lumingon.

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"Stephanie."

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Napatingin ako sa kanya.

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Hindi Steph

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Stephanie.

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Parang may distansiyang biglang itinayo sa pagitan namin.

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"Stop calling me that."

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Napatigil ako.

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"Ate-"

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"I said stop."

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Ngayon lang siya lumingon.

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At doon ko nakita ang mga mata niya.

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Galit.

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Pagod.

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Nasaktan.

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Pero higit sa lahat-

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may limang taon ng sakit na hindi ko kayang bilangin

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"Wala kang karapatang tawagin akong ate."

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Parang biglang nawalan ng hangin ang kwarto.

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"After what you did."

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Nanigas ako.

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"A-ate... I-"

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"Don't."

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Mahigpit ang hawak niya sa tungkod niya.

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"I don't want to hear your excuses."

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Tahimik ako.

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Hindi ko kayang tumingin sa kanya.

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"I don't want to hear anything from you."

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Bumaba ang boses niya.

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Halos bulong.

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"Five years, Stephanie."

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Napapikit ako.

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Five years

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Limang taon.

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Limang taon na rin akong naghihintay na sabihin niya iyon.

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"Five years akong nagtiis sa sakit."

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Napayuko ako.

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"Look at me now."

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Unti-unti niyang ibinaba ang tingin sa kanyang paa.

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Sa tungkod na hawak niya.

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Hindi ko kailangang itanong kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin.

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Alam ko.

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At iyon ang mas masakit.

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"Look what you've done."

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Parang may mabigat na bagay na bumagsak sa dibdib ko.

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Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko.

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"Ate..."

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Nanginginig ang boses ko.

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"I'm sorry."

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Sa wakas.

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Lumabas din ang salitang limang taon kong kinikimkim.

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Pero tumawa lang siya.

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Isang maikli.

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Mapait.

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Walang saya.

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"Sorry?"

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Unti-unti siyang lumapit.

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Tok

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Tok

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Tok

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Tunog ng tungkod niya sa sahig.

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Hanggang sa huminto siya sa harap ko.

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Napayuko ako.

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Hindi ko kayang salubungin ang tingin niya.

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"Too late."

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Mahina.

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Pero malinaw.

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Dumaan siya sa tabi ko.

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At naupo sa kama.

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Sandaling natahimik ang buong kwarto.

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Pagkatapos-

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"Lights off."

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Napatingin ako sa kanya.

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"Matutulog na ako."

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Tumango ako.

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"Okay."

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Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa switch.

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Pinatay ko ang ilaw.

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Naglaho ang paligid sa dilim.

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Pero hindi ang mga alaala.

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Hindi ang guilt.

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Hindi ang sakit.

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At lalong hindi ang tanong na matagal ko nang tinatakasan.

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What really happened that night?

57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGwEibpRJH

Humiga ako sa sofa.

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Tahimik.

57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLnaIWu7Qp

Nakatalikod sa kanya.

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Pero kahit nakapikit ako-

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naririnig ko pa rin ang mahinang paghinga niya.

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Magkasama kami sa iisang kwarto.

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Sa iisang bahay.

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Sa iisang pamilya.

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Pero parang...

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magkaibang mundo ang tinitirhan namin

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At habang nakatingin ako sa madilim na kisame, isang bagay lang ang malinaw sa isip ko.

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She's right

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Limang taon ay hindi sapat para mabura ang isang sugat

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At marahil...

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hindi rin sapat ang isang sorry para maibalik ang isang kapatid.

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57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm387HooiU

ns216.73.216.48da2

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