The Family We Call Lie - PART 2 — DINNER WITH GHOST

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Gano'n na ba talaga?

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Hindi na ba talaga mababalik ang lahat?

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Nakatayo lang ako sa sala, nakatingin sa sahig habang naririnig ko ang mga yabag ni Shairah papunta sa kanyang kwarto.

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Ni hindi man lang siya lumingon.

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Ni hindi man lang ako kinausap.

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Parang...

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estranghero ako sa sarili kong bahay.

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"Stephanie."

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Napatingin ako.

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Si Dad.

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"Magsama muna kayo ng ate mo sa kwarto mo."

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Napakunot ang noo ko.

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"Po?"

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"Hindi pa naaayos ang kwarto ng ate mo."

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Sandali siyang tumingin sa hagdan.

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"Kaya habang inaayos pa, doon muna siya sa kwarto mo."»

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Hindi ako agad nakasagot.

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Sa kwarto ko?

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Kasama si Shairah?

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After five years?

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"Ayos lang naman sa'yo, 'di ba?"

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Pinilit kong ngumiti.

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"Of course. Okay lang."

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Tumango si Dad.

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"Good. O sige, kakain na tayo."

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Tumalikod siya at naglakad papunta sa dining area.

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"Manang, patawag na si Shairah. Kakain na."

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Naiwan ako sandali.

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Hindi ko alam kung bakit...

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pero parang may mabigat na bagay na nakasabit sa hangin.

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Something was wrong.

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At kahit walang nagsasalita-

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ramdam na ramdam ko.

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DINNER

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Maya-maya, bumaba si Manang kasama si Shairah.

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Tok

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Tok

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Tok

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Napatingin ako sa kanya.

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May hawak siyang tungkod.

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At sa bawat hakbang niya, parang may kasamang alaala.

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Limang taon

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Limang taon kong hindi nakita ang ganoong paglalakad niya.

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Umupo siya sa tapat ko.

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Walang salita.

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Walang ngiti.

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Walang kahit anong pagtatangkang makipag-usap.

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Tanging mga mata niyang nakatingin sa akin.

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Hindi ko alam kung galit ba iyon...

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o sakit.

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Napakurot ako sa hita ko sa ilalim ng mesa.

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Don't cry.

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Not now.

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Gusto kong magsalita.

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Gusto kong magpaliwanag.

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Gusto kong sabihin na-

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I'm sorry

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Pero hindi lumalabas sa bibig ko.

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Alam ko sa sarili ko.

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May kasalanan ako

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At baka iyon ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ko kayang salubungin ang mga mata niya.

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"Oh, ano pa hinihintay natin?" sabi ni Dad.

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Napatingin siya sa aming dalawa.

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"Magdasal na tayo para makakain na."

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Sandaling natahimik ang lahat.

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Napansin na rin siguro niya ang tensyon sa pagitan namin.

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Bago pa siya magsimula, nagsalita si Shairah.

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"Hindi po ba dadating si Kuya?"

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Tumigil si Dad.

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"Hindi."

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Maikli.

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Diretso.

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"Busy."

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Huminga siya nang malalim.

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"Kilala mo naman ang kuya mo. May sariling mundo-parang walang pamilya."

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Napayuko ako.

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Kuya

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Isang salita lang.

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Pero sapat na para bumalik ang isang bagay na matagal ko nang sinusubukang kalimutan.

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FLASHBACK

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Hindi ko alam kung ilang taon na ang lumipas.

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Pero naaalala ko pa rin ang boses niya.

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Galit

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Nanginginig.

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At puno ng sakit.

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"Bakit ba ayaw n'yong maniwala sa'kin?!"

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Nakatayo si Kuya sa harap ni Dad.

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May dugo sa damit niya.

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Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling.

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Pero malinaw sa akin ang mga mata niya.

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Desperado

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"Hindi ako ang gumawa nito!"

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Tahimik si Dad.

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Malamig.

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Walang kahit anong bakas ng awa sa mukha niya.

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"Ano ba ang kailangan kong paniwalaan?"

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Lumapit siya nang kaunti.

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"Yang mga kasinungalingan mo?"

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Napailing si Kuya.

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"Dad..."

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Halos pabulong na.

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"I'm your own son."

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Nanigas ang panga ni Dad.

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At bago pa siya makasagot-

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"Pero bakit siya?"

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Napaangat ang boses ni Kuya.

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"Bakit siya ang pinapaniwalaan mo?"

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Tahimik.

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Walang sumagot.

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At sa katahimikang iyon...

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may isang bagay akong natutunan.

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Minsan, mas masakit ang hindi paniwalaan kaysa sa mapagbintangan.

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Napapikit ako.

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At bago ko pa maalala ang sumunod na nangyari-

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"Stephanie?

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Napadilat ako.

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Nasa dining table pa rin ako.

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Nakatitig sa akin si Dad.

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"Okay ka lang?"

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Mabilis akong tumango.

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"Opo."

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Hindi na siya nagtanong.

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Inabot niya ang kanin kay Shairah.

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"Kumain ka."

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Tahimik na tumango si Shairah.

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At muli kaming kumain.

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Walang nagsasalita.

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Pero sa loob ng isip ko...

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hindi na tahimik

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Bumabalik ang mga alaala.

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Isa-isa.

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Parang multo.

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At kahit anong pilit kong kalimutan-

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may mga gabing ayaw kang kalimutan

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Napatingin ako kay Shairah.

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Tahimik siyang kumakain.

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Hindi niya ako tinitingnan.

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Pero sa unang pagkakataon matapos ang limang taon...

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naisip ko-

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Ano kaya ang naaalala niya?

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At mas nakakatakot ang sumunod kong naisip.

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Pareho kaya kami ng naaalala?

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Hindi ko alam.

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Pero alam kong may isang gabing pareho naming gustong kalimutan.

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At sa gabing iyon-

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may isang bagay na tuluyang nawala sa pamilya namin

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Hindi ko pa alam kung ano.

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Pero alam kong...

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doon nagsimula ang lahat

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