Tuesday, After class.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2HRrhWGuR
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I had been thinking about it all day.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzoEgJ54zf
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About what Hina said yesterday afternoon, about what happened the week prior. Asking someone else to help with my problems. To fix what felt like to me, a burden that I had been carrying all my life. And the person chosen by her?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxGbzFzhRL
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Kuroiwa Rei.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiEerEkUvN
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I was always familiar with that name. But the person behind it always felt far away and I had my back turned towards him. I’ve only caught the words that were constantly passing around the school. And they were not very pleasant to hear or even to think about. I didn't know what he looked like. Well... just vaguely. The same with most people in our class. I felt that everyone’s eyes refused to look at him. Just like mine. Not even a second.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIhkaXSLVU
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“There has to be a better option.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEDsf1wTZy
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Mika finally broke my chain of thoughts. She was standing in front of her desk, two rows near the windows at the front of the classroom.
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I had remained in my seat ever since class ended an hour ago.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKk3xGegFR
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I looked at her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFp1zHubxQ
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Her arms crossed like she always did whenever she was against an idea she knew it didn't make any sense. Feet planted on the floor with one slightly ahead of the other. Her face, firm, different from how she usually looked. Her eyebrows tried meeting each other in the middle. I knew that look. I've always known it ever since we were little. And right now? That look was directed to Hina.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdds2izJah
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“Hina,” Mika continued. “Have you heard about this guy’s reputation?”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iBmlC9IId
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Hina was staring toward the back door of the classroom, sitting at her own desk near it. Calm. Steady. Her eyes looked with expectation and her smooth lips, covered with a thin layer of pink lipstick, smiled. She was very relaxed. In fact, she was so relaxed that if I stared at her for a few minutes, I would almost hear her humming in my head. And that bothered me. A tiny little bit.
“Someone told me that he fought ten upperclassmen behind the school!” Yui raised her hand as she poured some of her cheerfulness into jumping down from the teacher’s desk where she sat. “And as a matter of fact, everyone says he has connections to the yakuza.” 265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnae1mREuzH
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“I heard his eyes have supernatural ability to stab you just by looking,” Hina said. The smile on her face was still there. She turned around to look at Yui. “Apparently three students went blind last week.” She giggled.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BEFQQNBI4
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“That’s weird, I never heard of that.” Yui pondered.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Cs00aW3Cd
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Mika started getting impatient. She never found anything funny about what had been said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMKOvMcfBB
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I did... giggled quietly.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYFb5QAE7u
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“That’s exactly the point!” Mika uncrossed and recrossed her arms, which for her was the equivalent of raising her voice. “On top of everything – he’s a loner, he never talks to anyone, everyone at school avoids him. People don't just avoid someone for no reason, you know.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1gCeZ0JDJ
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I knew that. I knew all of that.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhR22yXezm
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Since the beginning of the school year, I had spent every school day believing what others had said. And his nature of always being a loner made a radius of two empty seats between him and everybody else during breaks.. The rumors sounded ridiculous, they all did. But there was no reason for me to just throw away all I heard. I never intended to talk to him in the first place, even now.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQmLvEEEJZ
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But the image of my mom being worried, her calling my father who was working overseas. My friends’ frustrations whenever I didn't get what they were teaching me. The supplementary lessons after classes. Me having to go home alone. Everything. They were all mixing together with the thought of this mysterious person who was also my classmate.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJYRKNUy3e
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I swallowed everything and said nothing.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl14dtlmNG
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“Just trust me,” Hina said simply. She was looking at me specifically even though Mika was the one talking to her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3mBE9Ke1q
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I nodded. Very subtle nod.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4JrDKyuMs
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Then she blinked towards Mika and gave her a stare, the one she always did when she meant to say that she knew more and had no intention to explain anything. We just had to accept it.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeViyAAhPG
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Mika opened her mouth. Closed it.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQB1ZJ6S6U
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I felt the same way. When Hina was being like this, pushing back was going to become a huge wall to overcome. The words she spoke were few, but the weight of confidence in them was too heavy.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFG1xbkc7wp
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“I just…” Mika lowered her voice. Her head tilted towards the floor. “I still don’t think this is a good idea.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyYvklMtcS
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“Terrible idea!” Yui agreed cheerfully while raising both her hands.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK8jpWmN7F
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I sighed, stood up and went towards Yui. I couldn’t stand the fact that I felt like I was losing an argument I was never even a part of. Maybe in spirit. I don’t know.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWESqMfR4Ot
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Then the back door opened.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q9bmgqlh0
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I stopped in front of Yui when it happened. I saw her stand up straight from the sound. And I could feel Mika do the same without looking at her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0gsndaBUW
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I felt him come in.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PSfOPM3td
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His steps were slow. With a certain rhythm that sounded careful. Sounded patient. Gentle.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9gpbenCHe
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Gentle?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72QJ1r3DkB
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Curiosity crept into me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbJmJWAViw
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So I turned. Slowly. Reluctantly, like my body knew something my feet hadn’t caught up yet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5cb4mA89T
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I looked at him, and he saw my gaze. My eyes snapped back towards the floor.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMIrdmsmpd
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He kept walking. After taking a brief look, I got the feeling he had been observing us. The three of us in the front of the class. While he continued towards his seat. At the back beside the window.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZt8WUEjxX
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Behind me, Yui was not moving. I couldn’t see her face but her hands suddenly gripping my arm already told me that she wasn’t looking at him either. Mika as well seemed to be doing the same when I glanced at her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTXktwSsfh
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“What does he look like?” Yui whispered.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpVveCnrav
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“You have eyes.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOKFjeiU6g
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“I can’t use them right now.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhXK3TGJKX
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“Why not?”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzpRDdqV4M
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“I just can’t.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ0x6tdUIt
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“Hi.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxojBbRAJYH
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That calm voice that suddenly filled the silence came from Hina.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHub2fSmX1
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Just a little bit. For just a little bit I looked up at her direction.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVyJtOj7Gg
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She was composed. Walking. Confident with each step. Towards the silhouette of that guy I was currently trying not to look at.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0sSwVbQ8h
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I could almost hear the thoughts of Yui and Mika synchronized with mine.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpE7gkDjU50
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How?
How is she so calm right now?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxMBcmB8z5
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“Kuroiwa Rei,” Hina said, with a slight hint of familiarity in her voice. But as far as I know, this is the first time I heard her talk to him. “Do you think you can listen for a second?”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcMSTZNslq
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The silence was everywhere inside the room. Too quiet that the noises that came from the classroom below us were the sounds I could hear.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbr51ZPxNi
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I never heard an answer from him. Normally, you would stop talking to the guy at that point, right? Normally, you would think that he's not interested in having a conversation with you. But Hina was different. At least I think she was acting differently than normal at this point. I thought she knew what normal meant. But right now? She was definitely ignoring what it meant.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXtsKqEwRs
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“There’s something the four of us need from you.” And there you go, she kept talking. And of course, with the ease of someone acting like she did not just spend the last few minutes being reminded that this could be a bad idea. “We were hoping you might be able to help our friend study.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZH94NX8kJ
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I flinched. I was not ready for the conversation to shift onto my existence.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiX9arPZLt
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“Study?” he said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBykZR8q4Mi
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One word. The first time I heard him talk as far as I could remember. And it was that one word delivered in a voice that was flat and unhurried yet somehow still managed to fill the space it occupied completely.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfRZu39zrH
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“Exactly,” Hina said, sounding genuinely pleased.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx29WhrFq7
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I was not. Definitely not pleased.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnNio7dKFr
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I kept drifting my eyes towards Hina but when I caught a glimpse of him I reverted to my companion, which is the floor. I kept repeating the same thing, but mostly, the one who I intended to look at was Hina. And unfortunately, my eyes were conversing in silence with the floor when footsteps started to fill the room.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS1KSBmOz2
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Slow. Steady. Careful. Patient.
My eyes refused to look up. I wanted to brace myself but perhaps looking down was the much safer option to choose right now.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEDRpgSUVJ
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The footsteps got closer. Then stopped.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmja98Nj15d
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It stopped right in front of me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCaRTFmUNv
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I didn’t move. I tried to breathe.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXxYOR7DOj
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Then I looked up because not looking felt worse. I was careful not to look at his face. But an open hand sure appeared right in front of me. Patiently waiting.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86zTlKGz3X
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“Test papers,” he said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tpJgCJeHE
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“Ah.” I didn’t intend to let out any sound, I did anyways.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WyBi7fV8Z
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I hurriedly went back to my seat but the grip of Yui’s hand behind me slowed me down a little. I wasn’t thinking about it when I released my arm from her hands. I felt her trying to grab it again but I was already far. I felt sorry. She stood there in front of him for two seconds before she decided to follow me and settled behind me once again. My hands managed to find my test papers inside my bag. I took a deep breath then started walking towards him. Yui followed me, still behind me. Then, without looking at him directly, I offered them to him.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63IACrCQNb
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At that moment I wondered.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSHGY8CXY4
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Will he laugh? The thoughts arrived continuously. I’ve never shown anyone these scores except my friends. Not even my mom. Is he even capable of laughing?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIeZa3xnZl
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“I bet his laugh would sound like a villain’s,” Yui whispered from behind me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4w31AuzZ5
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“Not now,” I whispered back.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND7KlCN6GQ
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He took the papers and glanced at the first one.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpetnpmpEl
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“Terrible.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIiFAPepcs
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I heard Yui swallow a laugh behind me and I made a note to address that later.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN604vGnAp
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“Hey.” Mika raised her voice suddenly. She still looked stiff but the comment she heard from him somehow gathered some courage for her to say what was on her mind. “You can’t just say it like that.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnr0tlRF7Sg
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He looked at her from the corner of his eye.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuahQT9dNem
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She went quiet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvErWAhCHF1
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Thank you, Mika… Sorry, Mika…265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgzRCKQvaT
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The movements of his hands told me that he went back to examine my test papers. I still couldn’t look at his face. Partly because of the conceived idea that this guy was scary. And also partly because I was nervous about seeing his judging eyes. I just stared at his hands. He wasn’t saying anything but I could feel the tension building around my stomach. I could imagine him trying to look at every single mistake I made, every silly answers I gave. And I wanted to sigh. I couldn’t even sigh.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgbU4Cj3QH
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“But not impossible,” he said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7F5jTFqmG
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I blinked.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhisYpLFoC
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“Really?” Hina sounded delighted. I was confused.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XHrQysAZW
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Not… impossible… I repeated his words back to my thoughts.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5mBaJLfzp
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“She answered everything,” he continued. “Ninety percent wrong. But she answered everything.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oIpBq9tXm
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Another muffled sound from behind me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ct6v0iJQf
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Yui… I swear.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FxoD0IJ1V
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“The answers she gave were wrong. But they aren’t random,” he explained. “She gave some kind of logic behind them, wrong logic, but there’s effort and it shows that she’s trying to solve them.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKIcmioxNv
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I listened to him. And I started thinking back.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OcRroVRyN
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Because..265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsM8RZRhKC
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I had tried. I had studied. I gave my all.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj34JKXRNC
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Everything was wrong in the end. It felt like I wasted all those times I stayed up late reading my notes, checking all my text books and yet failing to retain what I learned.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvmOVtzY9L
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I gave the right efforts for everything. But the wrong results were what I got back.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoOSK9YUNk
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I wanted to tell him. I wanted someone to acknowledge them. And I don’t know if he did. So I asked.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y47W1TCE1
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“Does that mean… there’s still hope?” My voice came out steadier than I expected.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjoHtBRPrm
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“Sure,” he replied.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqPlHRacJ0
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That wasn’t reassuring. An of course would’ve been better. Just sure, like it was simply a fact he was confirming.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuegjnGI8l
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I’ll take it, I thought.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxq70F2aNh
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“But I have a condition,” he suddenly added.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfyLk0DCp9
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I was in the middle of smiling when I heard that. And I felt my smile slowly fading and then my mouth opened.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WKmdrKzH1
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Of course. It’s not going to be for free.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6e6hkldku
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“How much?” I asked, before I’d thought about it.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR5lsMPzlP
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“I don’t need your money.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLTrDCXsVl
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I looked at him… for a second then I looked at his hands. Then what?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLTvdYjR34
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“What do you mean?” Mika already asked before I could. She already crossed her arms again, and that meant she was already done adapting from the tension. I wished I could do the same. “If it’s not money, tell us what you want.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjrzOH9RSl
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFl4iQZCbO
He was just silent. Then he walked. Unhurried as always, back to his seat.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWofsIMuNbW
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6KNwIcsTq
He reached into his bag and took out a notebook. Then he slowly tore a page from it. He steadily placed the notebook back inside his bag. And carefully he wrote on that page he tore. He patiently folded it neatly. And then he finally walked back.
Why is he being slow when I’m already nervous?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyI7dt4t91
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrwkx3axSz
He stopped in front of me and held out that neatly folded paper to me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXgUJbktzY
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBvKvHJ8rg
“Don’t open it yet,” he said. “That’s my address.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnG0M3XV8Ix
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIYk5BkcOR
“Why are you giving her your address?” Mika’s voice went sharp immediately.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HFyHkmsP1
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SKCXkFnHx
He kept his eyes on me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W60bo4NAn
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“Come to that address tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “Alone. If you want to hear the condition, you’ll hear it there.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSULLjlYTI
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmxSurs2PT
Alone? I sat with that word for a moment.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWqnNassCl
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsciEJHGQGa
Alone. In his apartment. Just the two of us?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVAaNeomzh
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRZJ0JscUw
Me, with a boy with a terrible reputation?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuX10DHYIcb
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLA2z7XmG1
I had to say no. No was the immediate answer. And it’s where this conversation should end.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDPNzp1uyO
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaoPh7zXBb
But the word. That one easy word to say wouldn’t come out. Instead it was drowned by two other words.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6tLW5cbOx
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyCORNbvI6
Not Impossible.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe2L9gxwnc
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7WPTV6mW6
“No!” Mika said what I couldn't. “Absolutely not! Why does she need to come alone? I’ll go with her.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKx67iHpd5S
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv6mUjazIR
“I need her to come alone.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjElAxn5Eou
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYm7ZywdBo
“Then this is over. We’re not agreeing to that.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzniRZty7xb
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwtlX6lckE
He looked at her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eDCCoPxBq
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqI9dCUlIMb
“Tojo Mika,” he said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY1Lqasgwq
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfwzjbtSeg
Mika stopped.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVsL3a9Fn7
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMJgAiSAzi
“Always ready to answer when the teacher calls on you. Above average grades. A few points from breaking into the top ten.” He retained his usual way of talking. Serious, precise and unwavering. “The annoying girl with pigtails.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTIgJkEgM9
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcurQXXWCl
Mika’s mouth opened.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4GVwTA0MO
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmq1IJnYvp
“Shirogane Yui.” He stared at the one who had been trying to hide behind me all this time.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXCP66fm3u
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k2hfTCaA4
Yui made a small startled sound.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyxRN9beUS
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNqqzQJq2W
“Decent in class. Your reasoning when teachers call on you is good. You just don’t take studying seriously enough. A little more effort and you’d be above average.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wzyZrIdIx
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WhuPg82av
“Oh,” Yui said softly. I could practically feel her eyes glittering wide behind me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8fOWOf4HK
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnXe3cntuJ
“Asakura Hina.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAjcHIDPAo
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpBlTcOWc5
“Hmm?” Hina tilted her head like she’d just been greeted across the cafeteria.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJJoKrTnjM
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe0EH4I5aE
He paused for a second.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZEsFedbBI
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsZgrBSwHB
“Top two in our grade. Excellent across subjects. Your math is the one place you’re leaving points on the table.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTV7qTMenq
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEp6yLCDdX
“My, you’re actually right.” Hina smiled. Genuinely smiled. Like she was pleased someone had brought it out and noticed.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyQKJY4Sew
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlc0GfgOZph
I heard that. And I wanted to protest. She got 91 in math and he still called it lacking? Isn’t that a little bit absurd?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84GJqRktfx
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs08S0hYJy
I felt mildly annoyed this time.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ329jRixX5M
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGuX4kP7ZV
“None of you are bad students,” he continued. “All three of you know how to study.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nCklTdzi3
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7gWleIR7E
“So what is your point?” Mika said. Still sounding fierce. But when I looked at her. She was looking at the floor. It felt like she knew what he was going to say next but still asked anyway.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOHAPPHf7r
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg3LabPxHx
“And yet.” He paused. “You gave up on her.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1ooCuEYWZ
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6tBGHoT3f
Everyone went still.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3FiAvaO5W
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfU9ssLQCVI
Yui stopped moving behind me. Mika’s arms dropped slowly. Even Hina was quiet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRORhEKjdz
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufW4gKspUE
As for myself. I did not understand what he meant.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzx5CAQNQy
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy3FLccZO6
“You probably tried,” he continued. “And when it didn’t work, you stopped. Three people who know how to study. And none of you stopped to ask why it wasn’t working for her. Why she couldn’t hold onto what you were teaching her.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWIJLRuWgj
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGgKZOquAC
“It’s not their fault.” I let it out. I wasn’t planning to, but I let it out all the same. My voice was shaking slightly, I wanted him to stop. “It’s hard for me to hold onto things. They’d explain something and I’d get it, and then after a while it would be gone. It’s not their fault. They did everything for me. They did everything they could. I was just… lacking…”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XGnJm3zxC
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWa86JZ1Lx
My hands were shaking at my sides.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdc3JOnGtLv
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03VPpLghgv
“I’m the problem. Not them.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBr3RO2tTR
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY81Jcel550
I tried to let those words sink into him. But the voice that came out next wasn’t from the person I wanted to speak in this moment.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8K99Nz0MX
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yqluAg6Qt
“I’m sorry, Runa,” Mika said. It was barely a whisper.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNtIljQl27
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kAM7b5Vxz
Behind me. Yui’s hands let go of my arm and she wrapped hers around me. She was quiet, and her embrace meant an apology I didn’t want her to give.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOewexWeQN
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LuXHdD9D9
I stared at the floor.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGS7Ihmw6r
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15s9Aav5Xc
It’s not their fault. It was never their fault.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQByjL2wYqC
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9chiRbeE9q
He let out a long exhale from across me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTesVcWjL8
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI76VMLsVD
“I know,” he said. “You think it’s your fault.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61ucRelbGA
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD1UDrc91L
“You don’t understand…” I looked up at him. I looked up at his face. And for the first time I actually looked. Really looked. And I noticed immediately. His hair, messy and dark. Clearly never been introduced to a comb. His face that looked sharper than I expected up close. Angular in a way that would have been striking if he put any effort into it at all, which I assumed was something he would never do. He’s taller than me by some noticeable margin. And his eyes were just looking back at me. Dark and direct and completely still. Intense, in a way that made sense of why people avoided them. But honest. Telling me that all he just said was true. “Don’t say it like that about them. They tried. They really tried to help me. They tried everything.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOinkQOVol
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev16FCoHT3
He held my stare. Never looked away, never felt threatened. Somehow it was more unnerving than if he had.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPH4tpAakm
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m79RIQ1HP
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t understand.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhkgyD8JPO
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqWmI0Hkw8
He looked around and then stopped his gaze on me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsWgrX2xii
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsU39Fu6nf
“But from where I’m standing. All of you are at fault.” His voice cut through my excuses. “Not because they gave up, but because none of you understood why it wasn’t working. Not them. Not you. Nobody stopped to ask the right question.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAaKGX1uNs
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qtYUXYwu2
Where I failed, he succeeded. Those words he said sank deep inside me. But the quiet my friends had surrounded me with, made me feel like it sank deeper for them.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZsROQsrH2
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjMhPXDOvr
“Studying is a skill,” he said suddenly. “It’s not something you either have or don’t. It’s something you learn. Something you can get better at. But only if you understand how.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0feYGa1yT
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafmxnsb97c
That stuck inside my thoughts.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MGFLTriLb
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygnmcXxkqN
A skill.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqAv0W4Cys
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjASeDkEr9
Not a talent. Not something you either had or didn’t. Something you could actually get better at.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEupvzLWo02
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeFafdNzl0
Which sounded like exactly the kind of thing someone said right before they sold you something.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqP2IOIjDC
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnL2aCpMim
And yet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYr9Va4ZSY
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxYMwXn0pC
I wanted to believe it so badly. I wanted it to be real. But I don’t know if he was telling the truth. I don’t know if I could actually trust his words.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZXZe3MWdE
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPMXxkQtrf
He moved towards his bag and carried it with his hand towards the back door of the classroom where he suddenly stopped.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDEOJPlo4T
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzUBLcxdrB
I watched him. He was moving slowly, but not as slow as I remembered a few minutes ago.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GPZMDARAQ
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKN5mR8frR
“If I help you,” he said, “you’ll be in the top ten of our grade by the end of the year.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkloTla4Ga
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspVLWkZYVU
Mika’s eyebrow went up.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42q8iNwzXC
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I didn’t say anything. I just listened.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Yru9EBas
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJK5Fw8kXJ
“It won’t be easy,” he continued. “But it’s achievable.” He stared at me. “If you agree to my condition.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvWQ9OaJcf
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3sjYOms0t
And just like that. He was gone.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4FtGzYYmo
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA70wSL3Pqu
Nobody was making a sound. Not even Yui, who I thought would’ve already said something ridiculous but she stayed behind me gripping her arms around me tighter than before.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRxM3XcUD4
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSYK1edGvh
“He called me annoying.” Mika broke the silence. Her voice had a mix of ‘about to get angry’ and ‘about to get confused’.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfIMc9tTer
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzOgLEkSUn
“He called all of us by name,” Hina offered.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYoGUqsTf1
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD90nPET2mu
“He specifically called me annoying!”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GS9DLJzAu
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMSiCC3ogs
“He also assessed all our academic capabilities without ever being asked.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOZatmEL3D
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygIcWCBlqx
“That’s creepy and also not the point.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiWfUidSm9
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXABAx6n0p
“He was wrong to call you annoying,” Hina said. “But was he wrong about everything else?”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLfFH6yRBb
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu8KiaXSZf
Mika slowly stared at the floor. “...No.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXCoVvqYXt
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzwcALP7aK
“I was hurt as well, since he was right.” Hina carefully walked towards Mika, then she placed her hand on Mika’s head. “But I think he is someone we can trust,” she said and her familiar smile returned.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28yGMokCvj
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyL8C80PPe
“How do you know that?” Yui finally spoke, peeking at Hina from behind me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfi8vCX9Ge
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgoBY4wFLT
Hina smiled wider. “I just do.” She glanced at Yui and gave her a little wink.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7GxOSiV8z
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWw6M2HczVz
“You can be really weird sometimes,” Yui told her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBYd7rXAdO
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9MGRYxkZ9
And I agreed with Yui. I didn’t know what to think. Everything he said seemed too good to be true. Top ten? In just a year?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8dDuzFjS1
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHlawF5eJq
I looked at the folded paper in my hand.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaebwq4WpR
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqI0jjyOzF
“… I still don’t trust him,” Mika said quietly. But I heard it.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6h4lQgvVU
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmmtltmcNm
I don’t either. But the hope he gave me was uncomfortable and at the same time something that I wanted to hold onto. Something that maybe could turn my life around.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXAdwzw7mK
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyDSiGoTYz
I closed my fingers around the paper.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbKH10Ai8d
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsg4acfyJQ
This idea is terrible, I thought.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7VoogM7CL
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M0aA4CbXo
And yet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgCqV72KHa
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloB7qW50uM
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdsF0kmBho
Tuesday, afternoon265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjba7XZGqyr
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWByROFTmG
On the walk to the station, Yui and Hina did most of the talking.
Yui finally regained enough of her composure for her to tell us stories about what was happening in another class. Specifically class 2-C. And she presented them with such focus and energy that she was like delivering some breaking news. Hina listened as she always did and sometimes contributed to them as well.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNH8h0XYBY
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbbAXJXkcp
I laughed with them. I said the right things. I didn’t want to show that what happened just a few moments ago was still shaking my thoughts.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGIeYZlKCf
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhH7UU7CmJ
Mika walked beside me like she always did. She wasn’t talking.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKp4wNgFYa
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllolHVi1db
That was always how she got when something was sitting on her. The words went inward instead of out. I knew because I’d been watching it happen since we were small enough that the walk between our houses felt like an adventure.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRHskr02La
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubOyOGwJqf
We split at the station like we always did. Yui and Hina going one direction, Mika and I going the other. Yui waved her hands as she rode the train with Hina. I smiled at her. And then they were gone.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0ecGc5TAV
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVwaTjZXF7
The train was quiet for the few stops between school and home, and by the time we were walking the familiar street toward our houses the afternoon had gone golden and long around us.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8VIRSUsm5
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGGTGTacaC
Mika hadn’t said anything yet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAFlMLCbUL
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53AiLNfZV2
I let her be.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJNTafgmLm
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkWjByU8o1
“Will you go?” she asked finally.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhpaHg56pv
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRzYGxoUoz
“I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure. Maybe I was sure.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIL79LL4CO
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwpnXaXG31
I don’t know. I repeated in my head.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgTtoIGKVg
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUU0Ix5UzX
“He’s not someone you can trust easily,” Mika continued.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WPdI4WvPv
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv26WNdb7BN
“I know.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJDknmmO9F
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0YmYFPpA7
“Everything he said…” She stopped herself. I knew what the end of that sentence was.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Gb6fofCBp
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV4z2xhAqt
Sounds impossible. Doesn’t add up. Doesn’t make sense.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQgCvSZEpx
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPgl4V7SG0
“I know,” I said again.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVseNK0kCGR
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KMDgVkRSN
We walked half a block without talking.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnVnKfX9yz
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsHIkw4U8z
“I’m sorry,” Mika said. Softer this time. “I keep thinking, if we’d tried harder, or differently…”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkq15TUImB
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzIZhZIGMl
“Stop,” I said gently. “It’s not yours to be sorry for. I mean it.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepR3keI9uA
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwEFzNei0h
“I want to try again. We can start over, do it differently…”
“Mika…”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcvawXCTw7
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDenPALBuU
She went quiet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtFx7AjdDg
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“You already tried,” I said. “You all did. And I know you would again if I asked. But I also know it didn’t work, and I don’t know why, and maybe that’s what he was talking about.” I looked at the street ahead. “The right question nobody asked.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJMKRRXSSA
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvarqwiFLR
Mika kept silent as we continued to walk.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTvUO6NtT8
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvvN0sOlaV
A few seconds later.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKZWKMKTUH
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uSKn6SEAZ
“If you decide to go,” Mika said eventually, “and anything feels wrong…”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsYTRVAsxm
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtvBGIHJ9f
“I’ll call you immediately.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81Kv8ZK57C
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZpksBAT8T
“Before immediately.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9cEFrLJb1
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dzazQdtFs
“Before immediately,” I agreed.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmYsim0di1
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0HzNznpzt
“I don’t want you to go.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFRll8bze5
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qDUHVb6Zn
“I know.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV3tj2Hkmh
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqonPosfqDo
“But you’re going to anyway.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGB1Z5DuyF
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I looked at the folded paper still in my hand.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8PVyaRxf9
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“...Maybe,” I said.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtq2nR75Le1
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Mika exhaled. She knew that at this point she would never be able to convince me.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ttpg7iZd3
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I smiled at her.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YnNjw13RY
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“Stay safe,” she said. “Call me when you get there. Call me when you leave.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoJi6dPEVz
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“Okay, mom.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZji75ZWtP4
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9P6krqyELu
“I’m serious.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz6wfq7KI7
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“I know you are. That’s why I said it.”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffFDdbIhbV
She smiled at me but as soon as she turned away, I caught her trying to hide an expression she didn’t want me to see.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98MR3jhcQH
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DqDYBpbOE
I looked up at the sky instead. The clouds had turned colors, orange edging into pink at the horizon, the blue above it going deeper.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMljSAwKvv
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Will I go?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHR5hnE127
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I didn’t have the answer yet.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoRssV0cug
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But I was running out of time to keep saying I didn’t know.
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and then Add to home screen.