Chapter I: A Brief Recall
I blink my eyes open. A dimly-lit room I see, and therefore I am awake. My room is a mess, yet a different layout from before. However, I need to organize some stuff, physically and mentally.
I look at my shelves. Dusty yet full of information and nostalgia. There are my books, my Legos, and figurines of numerous anime characters. I also have heroes of the past I look up for. Yet, just in the corner of my books, I see a familiar image. Then, I remember it, it's the picture taken 3 years ago; my Senior Highschool Class Photo. Next to it, my Work Immersion pin. My name is still there, like freshly plucked out from a mint-in-box action figure. Mariano Laguey, Special STEM 12. As I gaze on the photo, it brings back memories, the time I had with my classmates. It was all good, but cut short due to a person I have been blinded to.
My eyes are teary, then I let out a sigh. A sigh not of relief that would caption, "I'm out of this class, yay!", but a sigh of regret to them. Oh how I wish I could have been with them at the very end, or could have been the classmate they always wanted or needed most, well if not for her.
I stand up from the edge of my bed, throwing my used clothes from the bed into the basket.
It's been a year since I broke apart from the abuse, the torment, and the never ending loop of being in chains. You might think, what am I talking about? But it's been a pleasure to obtain my freedom. Back then, I thought the place I was pleasure like sitting on a breezy and grassy hill, but it's actually the opposite. I was blinded by a fabric that dissolves reality and makes it into a virtual reality.
From my old clothes I see, a different fashion. The strings and fabric of my clothes speak of what has happened. A ray of sunlight from my window facing to the south shines on it. Upon reflecting, a past behold.
There I was, in the hallway in front of my classroom. Some Junior Highschool students are there, and some of my classmates are still inside the classroom. It gets my attention, that I was being lifted up by a Grade 7 girl, and it is her, the girl that ruined my life. Back then, I still didn't know how life would carry on. I remember that in that moment, I almost fainted. It wasn't actually because of academic exhaustion, but it was of her. Her behavior, is impeccable, something that is straight from the depths of hell. Her gleaming smile, was an equivalent to a seductive hand waning to come play. The two moles, one below her mouth, and one just above her mouth. Her skin is so pale, like someone who has anemia, like with her family. Too pale, just like a vampire.
When I looked into those eyes, the past is further unveiled, open the purple curtains, and so I remember.
At first, she was like an angel, calling me 'Kuya'. From then on, it developed and moved unto another level. From Junior-Senior relationship, to friends, then to what they call 'love'. For I year, I believed that it actually stands out as love, or so I thought. In the end, I was so blind to see it. Not everything on the outside is the same in the inside.
For a duration of several months, I begin to see what kind of person she is. She is like a lightswitch, flicking off and on. The worst part is, is the concept of money. She was forcing me to buy some things for her, kind of childish in the sense anyway. I began to drift off from her with a restraining emotion. But I had no choice to be with her again... that's what I thought again.
Following another year of torment, an event triggered my reality, absolution to a cause that changed my very perception of life. Who is the good, and who is the bad, and that actually depends on how you see the people or person. What they did to you, what contributions they did. It's like the weighing scale in a court. Your view, is actually Lady Justice, that you hold your own scale. In all means, I begin to rule out the parasite embedded in my life, and that would be the girl. I wouldn't have tarnished my bond to my classmates if not for her. I wouldn't have also tarnished my bond to my loving parents if not for her. I could have been a good or better son if not for her.
I then begin to have my final decision, and heartwarmingly, my family have my back, and begin to do the right decision. In a blink of an eye, I let go from her and her family. The chains have been broken, yet I feel no negativity, no emotions, and no regrets. The strings have been pulled, and I open the door, and I see the bright light, the light that Lady Liberty holds, and that is the light of freedom. Liberated by true love, from the hands that grips people into slavery, and torment. Free at last, free at last. I remember, I was like a slave back then, or like a Filipino who haven't read Rizal's books. But by opening the covers, the truth prevails and my eyes open to it. The truth had set me free.
However, reality hits hard, with such regrets. Regrets of haven't been a good classmate to my fellow classmates; regret of not having fun with my best friends or barkadas, regret of not being a good, and regrets to myself.
But as this goes on, people aren't always perfect. Not everyone is. Nobody is perfect, they all make mistakes. Mistakes that we can learn from. Mistakes are the objects that trip us, or the trip itself. That is in which, if we learn to stand up, and make progress on our journey again. Try and try again, do or do not, there's no try.
Will I ever make it up to them? How will I do it? Isn't it too late?
I begin to drift back to my past self, what were my hobbies? Who am I back then?
The questions I begin to ponded, I wonder out to yonder.
ns216.73.216.66da2
and then Add to home screen.