Dear Diary,
I keep getting the feeling that someone is present. It's like a shadow that keeps watching me. Awful to say, but it's true. The presence I keep sensing is alarming and unwelcoming. I try to shake off the feeling and tell myself that I'm just tricking my own mind. Or maybe it's the fear of someone standing behind me. Something told me to write this down and show it to you because you always seem to answer my questions.
Is this a vision I've received? Or maybe it's childhood trauma? I don't know, but it feels like I'm about to be preached at, yelled at, or even punched in the face. And when I see it coming, I instinctively close the eye that's going to be hit, only for it to disappear. This shadow must be something I created by mistake. It seems to inherit the personalities of people I've met before and uses them to its advantage.
As crazy as it sounds, I don't think I'm going insane—it's just something that's happened because of the intense pressure from my academics. I'm partially stressed, and it's taking a toll on my mental health. I'm so exhausted from it that I want to say, "Fuck it," and just deal with the so-called "hard life" that everyone keeps talking about. But then the shadow disappears, and a sudden thought says, "You don't want to do it, and you know that." It mimics my father's voice or even repeats his words.
Maybe it's just my mentality. Or maybe I'm exploring myself in a way I never have before. Maybe this shadow is trying to show me something I haven't yet seen. Maybe it's reflecting someone or something I've been surrounded by. I've only had one dream about this shadow—it was confusing. It felt like looking in a mirror for the first time, and in my reflection, I had a sinister look on my face. Crazy, right? But it was real. I broke the mirror and said something—I just don't remember what.
Maybe this vision, this shadow, is slowly fading away. Maybe it's just a part of me that I'm finally shedding.
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