Nicholas’ POV
The palace had changed.
So had I.
Life there consumed everything: my time, my patience, my sense of self. The only peace left was with Lucas, when we sparred, shared coffee, or sat in the quiet of his home, far from all of it.
But peace was never really that far from the palace. He’d let me into his space for that reason alone. It’s not like he ever directly said, “Hey Nicholas, what’s really going on in the palace?” He was always discreet about it. It seeped into his words in ways I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t analysing every single one of them.
The last time he asked about anything was the day after the Emperor incident. He asked like it was about me, not the palace. Me, and not the palace.
That pulled a smile out of me. The thought that he saw me as more than a title or an object to get what he wanted made me happier than I should have let it.
With that happiness came unease. No matter how far I tried to drift from it, the palace always found its way back into my thoughts. It lingered in the background, quiet and watchful, even when I was nowhere near it.
“You’re nothing like your father,” the old man spat.
“See why we can’t trust him?” His hand trembled as he pointed to the others in their seats.
“He thinks he can do whatever he wants because he’s the heir.”
“And you think you can do whatever you want because you were a king forty years ago,” I said.
“He talks back,” he muttered to the council, as if they were the ones with power here.
“It’s time to quit this, Grandpa. My father can dance to your tune if he wants. I won’t.”
“That’s not how it works, boy. I’m the one on top. And you’ll listen to me. All will listen to me and only me.”
“Say whatever. I’ve got work to get to. Enjoy your fortress.”
“No. Hold on right there, Nicholas. This is your last chance. Beg. For. Forgiveness.”
“Not in a million years.”
“Walk out that door and you’re no longer the heir of this nation.”
I almost laughed.
“You’ve threatened worse,” I said as the door shut behind me.
He used to coax me when I was younger. That ended four years ago, when the threats began.
By sixteen, I was already done playing the obedient heir.
I’d spent my whole life being groomed for this, but that was the year I stopped pretending it didn’t weigh on me.
My father never fought back. Solely because he loved his daughter. When he learned his first child would be a girl, he made it his mission to keep her untouched by the crown. He wanted her to be his daughter, not a princess. My grandpa wanted the exact opposite.
But the moment I was born a boy, I wasn’t a child; I became the heir.
It was the only thing that ever felt certain. Ruling was in my blood, it was my calling. And I’ll be damned before I take up that role and be a slave to the emperor.
The work I said I had to do was in the academy. Most times that work was just being present. Elites went as it normally did. Workload after workload, unnecessary attention, and underwhelming stress.
The more the days passed, the less I saw of Lucas.
Three weeks since he’d spent a full day at the academy, a few more since that party.
Half of my remedy was mostly absent. And texting him was enough to make me feel better, but that was whenever he decided to reply.
I tried my luck again.
N: Hey Luca.
This time he replied a few seconds after. My stomach constricted, it was warm and soft, and it tingled.
L: No weird questions today?
N: My questions aren’t weird.
L: You asked what colour my boxers were a few days ago?
N: I was just curious. Speaking of which, what are they now?
L: What’s it to you?
N: Just curious.
L: Pale, muted green.
N: Now was that so hard?
L: No, you’re just odd.
N: You like odd.
L: I’d say otherwise.
N: Tell me what you like then.
L: I don’t know.
N: Why don’t you know?
L: It’s not important.
N: It’s important to me.
L: Why?
N: It means a lot.
L: It shouldn’t.
N: But it does.
L: That doesn’t change anything.
N: If you say so.
N: When were you born?
L: November 27.
N: Our Luca is no longer a kid.
L: I’m literally a year over eighteen. Isn’t it a bit late to use the phrase, “no longer”?
N: Growth is a slow process.
L: You turned twenty-two months ago.
N: How do you know that? We’re not stalking now, are we?
L: Definitely not. As long as a name’s in the scripture, I’ll know.
N: My name’s not on there yet.
L: It will be.
N: It won’t hurt to say it was a personal interest.
L: It’s nothing personal.
N: Whatever you say, Luca.
N: Can I see you today?
L: Why?
N: I miss you.
L: I’ll come to you.
I still had no genuine reason to see him. I had people who always watched, judged to see if I was really up for the role of the future king.
I had to be perfect. Everything I did, every person I talked to, needed to have a significant role to them. Especially with the path that didn’t have my grandfather on my side.
It was a Tuesday. Joint activity day. And I got to see him during Judo lessons. Instructor Rafi started with his usual set of rules. And Lucas found me in the training halls.
“Need a partner?” he asked.
His eyes were wide and lucid, more doe-like. A dead giveaway that he wasn’t drunk.
“No, I’m already paired with someone, goes by the name of Luca. Seen him around?”
“He’s right here,” he said while stepping closer to me.
“Where?” My hands couldn’t help finding his waist.
“In front of you.” I wished we weren’t surrounded by people.
“Oh. I see him now.” His lips were just inches away from mine.
“Hi, Luca.”
“You can let go of me now.”
“Yeah, we should start the drills.”
We started with our warm-ups.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
We shifted to partner drills. Blocks, counters, feints. The usuals, just more sensual, more extreme.
My arm locked around his neck, firm. He tensed, his pulse quickened beneath my grip. Every breath he took was a whisper I could read, a confession I didn’t need words for.
His arm went around mine, not tightening, not pulling, just holding. The way he’d been doing since the first time we sparred. He never made any real effort to counter me. He just let me have my way with him.
His eyes found mine, inviting me for more, always inviting me. And I let him go, I let him escape, and I watched for the way he would react after.
He does nothing but sit up on the mat, fold his legs, then he looked at me again and asked, “Can we get coffee after this?”
“Can’t. I need to finish things here first.”
“Do you need to do that every day?”
“Yes, unfortunately.”
“When will you be done?”
“In about an hour from now.”
“I’ll wait.”
“Generous of you.”
“Finish fast and come find me.”
“I will.”
He stood, “You can get back to finishing up now.”
I did the same, “No kiss goodbye?”
It was ironic how a month ago all I was happy with was watching him. But the more time passed, the more I needed from him.
“You’re not a child.”
“So you’d give a child and not me?”
“I’m not giving anyone,” he said, then walked away.
An hour later, I found him behind the academy, leaning against the wall with a cigarette between his fingers.
“You smoke?”
“Not so often.”
“Why now?”
“I had nothing to do.” He stubbed the cigarette before dropping it on the ground. Then he asked, “You’re done now, right?”
“Yeah.”
“We should go.”
He walked ahead of me, and we were on our way to the café. It wasn’t so far from the academy, nor the palace.
The café was quieter than usual. Steam fogged the windows, soft light spilling across the table between us.
We ordered our drinks. Lucas spoke first this time, “Thank you for putting me to bed the other night.”
“No need to thank me. Anything for you.”
“I have something I want to ask you.”
“Let’s have it.”
He paused then took a breath in. “Do you… like men?”
“Why? Interested?”
“I wouldn’t want to be making assumptions.”
“If you really must know, then yes, I do.”
“Only men?”
“You seem unusually curious about me today, Luca.”
He stayed thinking for a moment.
“How did you know you liked men?” His voice was quieter, less teasing, more tentative.
“I used to be an adventurous kid. Tried a lot of things.”
“When did you know?”
“I’ve always known.”
“Are you…” he paused. Something he never did when talking.
“Have you been with any man?”
“It depends. Do you mean have I had sex with a man or just dated one?”
“The former.”
“Ask it.”
“Have you had sex with any man before?”
“I remember you saying it was unnecessary.”
“That was then.”
“But now you want to know all about my sex life.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I was just trying to understand.”
“Understand who I sleep with?”
“No. Why you like men.”
“I could show you if you really wanted to understand.”
“I’m not sleeping with you.”
“Now see who’s fast to make assumptions.”
“Just putting it out there.”
“Yeah. I believe you.”
“Are you coming to my place tonight?”
“Not today.”
“Always this busy?”
“Lately, yes.”
“With things more important than me?” He smirked, my thing. I knew he was joking, if only he knew I wasn’t.
“Might be.”
“Tomorrow then?”
“I’ll try.”
The coffee was gone, and silence filled what was left of our time together.
“Want me to take you home this time?”
“The palace is closer, you don’t need to.”
“True.”
We stepped out. He stepped back, giving a small, reluctant nod. “See you later.”
And as he walked away, my chest tightened. Yes, Luca. I’d give my life just to see you again.
ns216.73.216.141da2
and then Add to home screen.