When people ask me what makes a marriage last, I always go back to three things that are central to how Chin and I live our lives together: faith, family, and foundations. These are not abstract concepts for us. They are the pillars that keep us steady when life shakes us. They are the compass that guides us when decisions feel overwhelming. They are the invisible threads that bind us more tightly to each other.
From the very beginning, Chin and I knew we were aligned. We shared the same faith, the same values, and the same desire to build a life that honors both God and family. It has made our journey smoother because when you believe in the same things, you find strength in the same places. But more than that, it has made our love richer because it is rooted in something deeper than feelings.
Faith as Our Anchor
Our shared faith is one of the greatest blessings in our marriage. For us, faith is not a Sunday only practice. It is woven into our everyday lives. We start and end the day with prayer, sometimes short and simple, sometimes long and reflective. Even when we are tired, we pause to thank God for the day and to ask for strength for tomorrow.
On Sundays, going to Mass together is a ritual we cherish. Sitting side by side in church, listening to the homily, singing hymns, and receiving communion are not just routines. They are reminders that our love is not just about us. It is about something bigger. It is about God’s grace that sustains us.
There were times when we faced challenges whether financial struggles, misunderstandings, or health scares and it was our faith that gave us peace. Instead of letting fear consume us, we prayed together. Instead of pointing fingers, we sought forgiveness. Instead of losing hope, we reminded each other that God’s plan is always greater than our worries.
I remember one evening when Chin was worried about our future. She asked, “What if we are not able to provide for our family the way we dream of?” I held her hand and said, “We will do our best, and God will provide the rest.” That moment calmed her, and it reminded me too that faith is not about having all the answers. It is about trusting that we are not walking this journey alone.
Family as Our Core
In the Filipino setting, marriage is never just about the husband and wife. It is also about family. When I married Chin, I became part of her family, just as she became part of mine. It is a beautiful, sometimes challenging, but always meaningful dynamic.
Family gatherings are a staple of our life. Birthdays, fiestas, reunions, even random Sunday lunches always bring everyone together. In these gatherings, we laugh, eat, sing karaoke, and share stories. Chin and I love being part of these moments because they remind us that we belong to a larger community.
Supporting each other’s families is part of our marriage. When her parents need help with errands, I step in. When my siblings need advice, Chin is there. We do not see these as burdens. We see them as ways of living out the values we grew up with such as utang na loob, pakikisama, and pagmamahal sa pamilya.
Of course, family dynamics are not always easy. There are moments when opinions clash or when traditions feel too heavy. But because Chin and I share the same values, we approach these situations as a team. We remind ourselves that family is not perfect, but it is where we first learned to love.
One of my favorite memories was during a Christmas Eve celebration with Chin’s family. We were all crowded around the table, food overflowing, everyone talking at once. Chin leaned toward me and whispered, “This is what I love—chaos, laughter, love all rolled into one.” I nodded because I felt it too. These are the moments that make life rich.
Building Strong Foundations
Faith and family are powerful, but they need to be grounded in solid foundations. For us, that foundation is built on values we both share such as respect, honesty, generosity, and commitment.
Respect means acknowledging each other’s individuality. Chin and I are partners, but we are also two different people. Supporting her dreams while pursuing mine requires respect for each other’s time, space, and voice.
Honesty means being transparent even when it is uncomfortable. We tell each other about our finances, our struggles, and our fears. We do not keep secrets because we know secrets erode trust.
Generosity means giving not only to each other but also to those around us. Whether it is helping a family member in need, donating to our church, or simply offering time to listen to a friend, we believe that love grows when it is shared.
Commitment means showing up every day, not just when things are easy. It is a promise we made on our wedding day and a promise we renew with every act of kindness, forgiveness, and patience.
These foundations are not glamorous. They are not always Instagram worthy. But they are what keeps our marriage steady. They are what allows us to weather storms without breaking.
Everyday Expressions of Faith and Values
Sometimes, people think faith and values are seen only in big acts. But for us, they shine brightest in the everyday.
When Chin cooks and I make it a point to appreciate her effort, that is respect.
When I take over chores because she is tired, that is generosity.
When she listens to me vent about a rough day at work without judgment, that is commitment.
When we pray together before eating, no matter where we are even in a fast food place that is faith in action.
It is in these small things that our shared beliefs come alive. They may not make headlines, but they shape the texture of our marriage.
Lessons from Our Shared Faith and Values
Through the years, I have learned several lessons about anchoring marriage on faith and values.
First, faith keeps us humble. It reminds us that we are not in control of everything. This humility keeps us from being too proud to say sorry or too stubborn to forgive.
Second, family keeps us grounded. They remind us of where we came from, and they give us a reason to keep building for the future.
Third, values keep us consistent. Feelings may change. Circumstances may shift. But values give us stability. They guide our choices when emotions are high or when temptations arise.
Looking Ahead
As we dream of having children someday, Chin and I often talk about how we want to raise them. We agree that we want them to grow up rooted in the same faith and values that shaped us. We want them to know the joy of family gatherings, the strength of prayer, and the comfort of respect and love.
We know parenting will not be easy. But because we share the same foundation, we trust that we will figure it out together. Just as our parents guided us, we will guide our future children. And just as God has carried us this far, we trust He will continue to do so.
Reflection
At the heart of it all, marriage is not sustained by grand gestures or fleeting emotions. It is sustained by anchors such as faith that strengthens, family that supports, and foundations that endure. These are the things that turn a house into a home and two individuals into one heart.
Chin and I are far from perfect. We make mistakes, we argue, we stumble. But because we share the same faith and values, we always find our way back to each other. Because we cherish our families, we never feel alone in our journey. And because we built on strong foundations, we can dream without fear.
Faith, family, and foundations are not just words for us. They are our life, our love, and our legacy. And as long as we hold on to them, I know we will be able to withstand whatever life throws our way.
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