THURSDAY, OCTOBER 10, 1991
Well, I had my day in court last Friday. Not much really happened, and the PD still has the tapes along with my other stuff. My lawyer (Tracy) did say, however, that she believes the search warrant was illegally obtained. Do you know how much trouble they’d be in? Either Chief B is incredibly stupid or doesn’t care about the consequences or really thought he could pull it off. I spoke to Tammy about that as well as the manipulation and leading me to believe their false intentions. Chief B also lied in the paper, telling them a different story than he told me. Chief B also dragged my landlord into this which is trouble for him. Tammy told me to file suit and to sue them and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Tracy said she asked the DA what he wanted to do and he said he didn’t know. Tracy also said that on October 31, which is my next court date, I should have my stuff back.
Now for another piece of news, I thought I escaped. At the end of August, I received a call from someone who sounded like Laurie H. It was a detective from Amherst telling me I’d be receiving a subpoena to go to Northampton court since it’s not part of Franklin County like Greenfield is. So as time went on, I thought perhaps they decided to drop it. But yesterday I got it in the mail for October 31. I called there today and explained I had to appear in Greenfield court that day and it was moved up to October 24. It’s nice to know Northampton doesn’t seem to know about Greenfield, although they could find out as well as they could find out about Springfield. The first time I met Tracy, I told her about this. She said to let her know if I ever do get a subpoena and she’ll represent me.
I’m gonna go watch some shows I taped but I’ll write more later. I’ll be up all night, unfortunately, as I’ve got to go to sign up for fuel assistance tomorrow.
Later…
Last Friday night, Kim had a dinner party to go to in Northampton. On her way, she was gonna drop me off at some theater I found out about from the Gay Alliance. Some coffeehouse where they also have some live entertainment. A singer and guitarist, I guess. It’s also supposed to be alcohol and drug-free. I would’ve jumped at the thought of going to something like this a year ago. What did I do? I totally chickened out. I told myself I’d no longer go looking for anything or any trouble from another Maliheh. I was just not in the mood that night for the possibility of being approached by an ugly or a so-so. I also wasn’t in the mood to laugh off any gentle, kind rejection or to get brutally led on and made to feel like an ass.
I still say that I could be in a room loaded with gorgeous gay, feminine women and one ugly one and God will make damn sure I get that ugly one. Also, I could move to the best area for music and put non-stop effort into it and get raunchy deals. I don’t mean just sex, either. I could wind up with a great deal that requires no sex but with my luck, it’d require lots of money I don’t have. If I got a deal with no sex and no need for money, it’d turn out to be a lie. Either they backed out, someone’s in a personal crisis, or it was just the thrill of leading someone on, trying to get their hopes up. This is what I mean when I say there’s a difference between bad luck and a curse. I know I’ll never make it and I’ll never have one night with someone I’m attracted to. Oh well. Believe it or not, though, it is becoming easier and easier to accept. Like I said, in the beginning, anyone else in the same situation with the same “plan” would think, gee, I’ve had some rotten luck and my young years at getting decent, attractive people are off at a bad start. Then it becomes rather obvious it’s not meant to be. Especially when you see how 85% of the population just doesn’t give a damn about looks and the other 15% goes and gets what they want and are attracted to.
There’s not much to write about as far as Jessie and Paula are concerned. Only that I’ve spoken with them over the phone. I haven’t heard from Hank or Steve.
Kim may be coming into some money from Bob. I guess Bob had a business when he lived in New York and his partner broke his contract so he’s having a huge check sent to Kim. Kim does not yet know how much. Bob wrote a letter to those people in New York about me and they moved to Chicago and retired. Bob’s having the money sent to Kim as Sandra doesn’t have much longer to live and neither does Bob really. Also, Bob’s so in love with Kim for helping him with his life and his health and looking like his first wife. And I mean exactly like his first wife. He showed me a picture of his first wife Dorothy and if he didn’t say it was her, I’d swear it was Kim.
I have spoken with Andy and Fran here and there and have even made some new tapes. I probably shouldn’t write this due to the pigs here, but I took tapes and taped the holes and made blanks out of tapes I never listen to.
It’s really too bad that Chief B and his people had to pull the shit they did as they’re such nice people otherwise. They’re also in big trouble. Manipulating someone is one thing. When you’re in law enforcement and you manipulate someone as well and put them through unnecessary hassles and harassment, you’ve got a problem.
As far as the letters go, I mentioned earlier that they’ve sure been keeping me busy. I sent out a letter to Mom and Dad. Andy and Fran got another wild and wacky letter. I read part of Fran’s letter over the phone to Andy who was cracking up. He said it was great and wishes he could get letters like that. So, I’ve got two letters like that on their way out. Two letters after the one I just sent are almost on their way out. I’m gonna mail everyone’s all at once. “Like that” means things we’ve done over the phone during pranks. Besides all our lines and sayings, I’d take my journals and read sentences backward as well as skip every other word. Or totally mix together tons of words from different sentences. Also, take the first half of a sentence and finish it with the second half of another sentence. I’d type many numbers and names and my journal chart. I did that mainly for Fran. I’d write tons of Springfield numbers for him. Also, bunches of names to confuse him and make him wonder. This recent bunch of letters I typed. I typed Fran and Andy’s for the hell of it. Kacey’s, however, I’d never write to as she may recognize my handwriting and that’d spoil all the fun of her thinking, “Who the fuck is this, and what the fuck do they mean?”
I wanted nothing more than to write to Russ, but there’s no way as I told him where I was moving to and he’s got my parent’s number.
Hank got a letter too, but between him, Mattie and Kacey, he’s the only one who’ll get a kick out of it and won’t get pissed. I’ll keep him wondering anyway till he says something. I knew it’d be best to type Mattie’s letter, as she’ll no doubt go flying down to Carabetta’s office with it. Carabetta could have a copy of my lease from when I lived there, pull it out if they all suspect me and compare the handwriting.
I’m also sending Andy Jenny’s address so he can write to her and she can freak out when she sees the Phoenix seal on the envelope. He told me that whenever I wanted to write to someone and have them think I live there or just receive a letter from Phoenix to mail it to him and he’ll mail it to them from there.
I’ll send him a letter to send to Nervous since he’s never gonna call, let alone come up here.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11, 1991
Nothing’s really happened since I last wrote. I could not get to sleep for the life of me till 11:00 this morning. Cuz of that, I never went to fuel assistance. Next week I’ll do that as well as food shopping. Why is it that whenever I’m up all day I have nothing to do and when I’m up at night I have shit to do in the daytime?
I left a message for Fran and I have not heard from him. I left this message earlier in the evening at around 9:00. Before I leave him a message, I usually play his messages first by doing the *37 thing. I heard a couple of messages from that girl with the CP. As I mentioned before, I taped her and Fran as well as Andy and Fran. I also taped Fran crying about all kinds of things to the crisis center. Fran had told me yesterday how there was a fire in his building. True or not, I don’t know. I guess someone was heating up a baby bottle and the rubber nipple got overheated and went up in flames. I hope we can talk soon cuz I want to ask him all about his letter. Ha, ha, ha. I’ll tell him I got the same exact same letter and that I think Tracy’s behind it.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1991
I almost have my schedule back on days now. I got up at 1 AM and forgot to set the VCR before I went to bed.
I spoke briefly to Andy yesterday who got his letter. He told me he was very depressed that day so my letter made his day. I tried calling earlier but there was no answer. I guess he ended up working or fell asleep.
I also haven’t heard from Fran who may have tried to call me last night. I did ask Fran last Sat. night if he got my letter. I mean, I asked if he got a letter. I bullshitted him by saying how I’ve noticed that every time I get a letter, so does he. He said no but I think he’s just saying that as Andy got my letter last Fri. It couldn’t have gotten to Arizona quicker than it got to Springfield. I explained to Fran how I was sure “our letters” were from Tracy along with others connected with Tracy.
Mom and Dad should have gotten their letter by now.
Yesterday I called Tammy and explained to her how I’m going nuts here. I also explained the case more in detail as well as expressed my fears. Meanwhile, she told me to keep my chin up and not to let them win. She said she’ll call my lawyer to question how long all this is gonna take. Also, about filing suit. Last Friday I tried calling the lawyer about the lawsuit, the search warrant, and also to tell her about Northampton court on Oct. 24th. I couldn’t get a hold of her as she was in and out.
Last Saturday I got really scared for a while. I was sitting in the stairwell when all of a sudden this really bad vibe came over me. I went up and looked out my living room window and saw a cruiser in the parking lot. I ran to lock all my doors thinking, “Oh no. They’re gonna harass me about the lawsuit.” But then I wondered how they could know about it unless my lawyer said something.
Then the phone rang, and it was Carol telling me that the butchy detective from Amherst who sounds like Laurie H was at the station. Carol said she couldn’t get in the building and that she and the detective only wanted just to talk to me, but I refused. I told Carol that no way was anyone gonna manipulate me again and she was to go through my attorney. I told her my attorney instructed me not to speak to the police. Then I came right out with it and said, “Actually, I’m glad you called as I do know now that the search warrant was illegally obtained and that charges are going to be filed.” I also told her I was filing suit on slander, defamation of character, manipulation, invasion of privacy and involving others in the case who do not belong. She said she’d pass the message along and that the search warrant was legally obtained, through the courts and signed by a judge. I told her that that was not what I was told. Maybe she assumes it was legally obtained and doesn’t know the truth. Chief B can do one thing and tell Carol or anyone else a different story.
After all that, I called downstairs and asked Jennifer if the police were there. She said yes, and then I asked for Peter. He wasn’t there so I asked her to get a pen and write down what I was about to say. I told her all about the suit and that if the cops come in, to pay no attention to them and have them leave. I told her they need to go through my attorney and that it’s illegal for them to disrupt the business or harass them to get through to me.
So, I told my sister how I was so nervous that they’d get spiteful that I refused to talk to them and was contemplating sleeping in my closet. She said not to let my thoughts drive me nuts, hang in there and draw the girls some pictures. She said I had a lot of talent there and draw some for the girls for their rooms. I haven’t done that yet, but I did draw one of Gloria which I am not too impressed with.
I almost long to be holed up in some safehouse till I can be rescued and brought to CT. Only I don’t know if I’m safe here.
ns216.73.216.141da2
and then Add to home screen.