“What’s your problem?”
Those words come from Natalie, who approaches my lunch table while I sit between Maia and Ainsley. Ainsley immediately fixes her with a glare.
“Who are you?” Maia gazes at her with fake innocence.
Natalie ignores the girls and continues speaking to me.
“I told you to stay away from him. Don’t think I don’t see you two together. I’ll do what I’ll say I would do if you don’t stop hanging out with him.”
“Which boy are you talking about? Yan doesn’t have a boyfriend,” Ainsley interjects.
“Mikael is mine,” Natalie went on. “We have a special connection.”
“No, he’s not,” Maia pipes up. “And you aren’t his girlfriend either.”
Natalie turns red. “I can be whenever I want to.”
Ainsley smirks. “Really? Let’s test that. Why don’t we call him over here?”
“No–”
“Mikael!” Her faint British accent echoes across the lunch room. He looks up from dipping his homemade crepes into the jams that his mother packed him. He catches my eye and smiles cheerfully, waving at me.
Natalie waves back, believing the gesture was intended for her. His face wrinkles in confusion. Ainsley waves him over and he obliges.
“Hi,” he says, trying to appear friendly while poorly hiding his nervousness. Something about four teenage girls staring him down intimidated him.
“I have a question for you,” Ainsley says.
“Don’t listen to her,” Natalie cuts in, trying to talk over Ainsley. “She just wants to play a trick on you.”
Suspicion flickers in his features. I see him briefly war with himself over whether he should continue standing there.
“She just wants to know if you like Natalie,” Maia reveals.
“What do you mean like her?”
“Romantically,” Ainsley explains. “Would you like her to be your girlfriend?”
The three girls look at him expectantly.
“You don’t have to answer that question,” I say. I didn’t want Mikael to be uncomfortable.
Maia and Ainsley shoot me dirty looks while Natalie gazes at me warily.
“I can answer it,” Mikael replies calmly. “I’m not interested in her like that.”
Natalie appears crestfallen.
“No offense,” he adds. “I don't know you well enough.”
“What about all the other times you tutored me?”
“I just wanted to help you. My intentions were only that,” he explains. He makes no mention of the extra credit he exchanged for the tutoring.
“So you don’t like me?”
He shakes his head. “Not in that way.”
She pouts, but she doesn't seem terribly upset. “It’s because you like someone else.”
He turns a shade of pink that reminds me of a Fuji apple. His eyes briefly darted in my direction. Help, his face says.
“No, it’s because you’re ugly,” Ainsley sneers. “Can’t a guy not like a stupid, ugly girl?”
My jaw drops in horror. Even Maia looks embarrassed. Mikael, to his credit, stays silent.
“That’s rich coming from you,” Natalie replies cooly. “Your new nose doesn’t even suit your face.”
Maia immediately comes to Ainsley’s defense. “And you wonder why boys don’t like you. You’re hideous, on the inside and outside. Tell me, does this sort of thing run in the family? I hear your dad is still in prison for what he did.”
It was a low blow, something I would have never expected from a pacifist like Maia.
“None of you are being nice to each other,” Mikael says before Natalie could say anything. “Just because I don’t like a girl doesn’t mean she should be bullied. Please stop this.”
The table becomes quiet. For a moment, it seems like the three girls were genuinely ashamed of their behavior.
“You would like me,” Natalie says, breaking the silence by addressing Mikael, “if you didn’t like Yan. If it wasn’t for her, you would be my boyfriend.”
My heart stops in my chest. The gears of my brain spin quickly, grappling for a response before any of my friends could say something stupid. “That’s not true.” All heads swivel to me. “He told you that he didn’t like you because he didn’t know you. You can’t tell someone how they feel because things don’t go your way.”
“Mikael is my friend,” I continue. “I won’t stop being his friend because you have a crush on him. I am not a threat. I have never been your competition. Ask anyone who has ever met me and they will tell you that I care more about my grades than a relationship with a boy. Besides, feelings change. You may like him today, but you might wake up tomorrow and feel differently.”
After all, two years ago she chased a different boy and ended up in the psych ward. One moment she was my best friend, the next she became a vindictive stranger.
“You’re right. Feelings do change. He might not like me today, but there’s a chance that he could like me tomorrow.”
With that, Natalie picks up her lunchbox and prances to her side of the cafeteria. Mikael leaves the table awkwardly, promising to speak with me later. Once they leave, my friends chatter excitedly.
“She’s delusional,” Ainsley says. “She seriously needs to get her head checked.”
“She already did back in our freshman year. I guess the doctors couldn’t fix her. I hope that girl finds peace, inshallah. There is something in her that’s broken.”
“Natalie doesn’t deserve peace. She hurt me and she hurt Yan. Didn’t you hear her threaten us because of a boy?”
She threatened me, not you. “She won’t bother us if she’s too busy chasing Mikael.”
“I wouldn’t say that. She’s going to be back. That boy likes you,” Maia says.
“He does not.” I try to be firm even as my pulse flutters.
“Does too. It’s so obvious,” Ainsley teases. “She’s jealous of you for a reason.”
My head spins and my memory of last week’s sickness rears its ugly head. The thought of Natalie carrying out her threat makes me nauseous but not worried enough to cease all contact with Mikael.
She didn’t like him. If she did, she would have been more upset with me and made a bigger scene. But for whatever reason, she did hate me.
It could have easily been the other way around. I could have been the one resenting her and plotting her demise. She abandoned me. But I had no space for that in my heart.
They prattle on about Natalie, the delinquent crowd she mixed with, the boys she chased, and her “undeserved” scholarship. But underlying their words was a clear vein of envy. In a twisted way, they wanted to be the pretty girl who got all of the attention, even if that attention was negative.
Their gossip leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I spend the rest of the day distracting myself with classwork and club attendance, not saying much when I’m around the girls. I had a scholarship to keep. They could do whatever they wanted, given that it was within the confines of the rules their families set out for them, and they would still be here resting firmly on a cushion of money.
I lie to them more than I usually do. I don’t need to, but even with their firm belief that I was one of them, I feared their nastiness. If they knew the truth about who I was, they would tear into me more than they tore into Natalie.
In Radio Club, I build walkie-talkies with Mikael. He doesn’t say anything to me, which makes me nervous. He’s never been talkative, but this silence was different. Normally, the hush between us was comfortable. I like to think that sometimes, I can even hear the whisper of his thoughts.
But there was nothing this time. Not even a twinkle in his eye or a slight quirk from the corners of his mouth that appeared on his face whenever he put a piece in the right place. When we finished putting together our devices, he spoke.
“You said I didn’t like you during lunch. How can you know that?” There was a shimmer of hurt in his warm brown eyes.
“That’s not what I meant. I don’t claim to know your feelings. I was just telling Natalie that what we have doesn’t get in the way of what you and her have.”
“But I don’t have anything to do with Natalie. She was a girl I tutored who happens to have a crush on me.”
“And you are my friend.”
“Yes, but what if my friendship to you did stop me from having feelings for her?”
A shiver ripples through my body. “What are you saying?”
“Natalie doesn’t like you, right? Why would I ever date someone who didn’t have good feelings about you? You shouldn’t assume that you always know what I feel or think.”
“I’m sorry.” It was like being scolded by a parent.
“It’s okay. Conversely, I shouldn’t always assume I know what you’re thinking. It’s a two-way street. But if you ever want to tell me, I’ll be ready to listen. Just like I know you’ll listen to me.”
I wonder what I did in a past life to deserve a friend as loyal as Mikael.
10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqFhCiehKg
and then Add to home screen.