“Do you… want to check for yourself?”
His head lowered, voice calm—yet beneath it surged something he could barely restrain.
She could feel it—his heart thundering wildly beneath his chest, just like hers. So far from calm.
“Every time you get close… it’s always like this.”
Kimijima murmured, his voice hoarse. His chest heaved as if even breathing had become difficult because of her.
Suzuran’s heart followed suit, thrown into chaos.
She stared blankly at the spot where her palm rested against his chest, feeling the erratic beating of his heart—exactly like her own.
She had never imagined that he—the always composed, self-controlled Kimijima—could be this disoriented because of her.
Just as she found herself breathless with that realization, her eyes inadvertently fell on—
The bandage on Kimijima’s right hand.
Because of their passionate kiss and movements earlier, the bandage had come slightly loose, one corner lifting up, stained faintly with red.
Suzuran froze, a tight knot pulling inside her chest.
She reached out gently, holding his right hand, drawing the bandage closer.
—Blood.
Beneath the bandage were long, thin scars trailing across his wrist—faded lines of old wounds, now scabbed yet still clear.
Among them were two fresh ones, still seeping blood, the red not yet dry.
“Koichi…?”
Her voice trembled, even her pupils shaking.
“These wounds… are they…?”
It was as if something had struck him hard. Kimijima instinctively tried to pull his hand back, his voice nearly breaking:
“No… My lady, please don’t look!”
He suddenly stepped back, panic flashing in his expression—like a door to a long-buried secret had been kicked open.
Flustered, defenseless.
Kimijima tried to pull away, but Suzuran caught his hand firmly.
“Don’t run.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9teLB2AHU
Her voice quivered, yet it was strikingly resolute.
“Let me see clearly…” she whispered, cupping his wrist in both hands, the scars glaring under the moonlight.
“These… did you do this to yourself?”
“Why… why would you hurt yourself like this…?”
Her tears finally fell, dropping into his palm—burning hot, nearly stealing his breath.
That single teardrop was the final weight that crushed the dam of his restraint.
He suddenly collapsed to his knees, forehead pressing into her hand, fingers clutching her skirt as if clinging to his last exit from a crumbling world.
His voice finally shattered:
“Because I didn’t know what else to do…!”
“If I don’t do this, I… I just can’t stay calm…”
“Every day, being close to you is torment…”
“I want to touch you… kiss you… hold you…”
“But I’m not supposed to. I can’t even allow myself to imagine it…”
“When I can’t suppress those feelings anymore… this is the only thing I can do…”
His voice trembled, words broken—like he had laid bare every desperate desire and pain he’d buried too long.
It wasn’t weakness.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvqNBVKaER
It was total collapse.
The hands that had always been calm and steady now trembled like a frightened child—curling helplessly in her palms.
“I’m sorry… My lady… I didn’t mean to…”
His voice cracked, every word scraped out with his final breath:
“I didn’t… didn’t mean to fall in love with you…”
Before he could finish, Suzuran had already pulled him into a fierce embrace.
Tightly, desperately—like she wanted to wrap him in her warmth and drag him out of the darkness.
“You idiot…!”
“We’re just… two people in love!”
“That’s something to be happy about…!”
Her forehead pressed against his as tears streamed down.
“You shouldn’t punish yourself for that!”
She held him tighter, as if trying to lift him from the depths of his own wounds.
In that moment, nothing else mattered.
Not status, not master-and-servant, not the judgment of the world—
She just wanted to hold this man—
The one who turned love into scars.
“My lady… let’s stop here for tonight.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAx5jVPWXR
Kimijima said softly, his voice unusually hesitant and gentle.
He slowly stood, like reminding himself to maintain the line—but clearly reluctant to leave. His eyes were calm as always, but deep within, a struggle flickered.
“If I stay in your room any longer… and the master finds out, it would be problematic.”
His words were measured—like preserving their dignity, like reminding himself not to overstep.
He quietly gathered the empty cup and napkin from the table, then walked to the door.
There, he paused—like something still lingered on his lips.
Suzuran had lowered her head, not sure if she wanted to stop him or if she was simply sad.
Then, she heard him take half a step back toward her.
She looked up—her voice firm yet tender:
“Promise me, Koichi. No more hurting yourself.”
“…Yes, my lady.”
“I order you to throw away all your blades. Tonight.”
He smiled.
The next moment, she felt a soft warmth on her forehead.
He leaned in, and placed the lightest, gentlest kiss on her brow.
Not passion.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSL4vJosQhd
Not duty.
It was the quiet echo of every emotion he had held back.
A wordless message stitched from love and restraint:
—I mustn’t.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyrfpb4KfQ
But I love you anyway.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIYUaDyHDQ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofdUjZ9Eu8
He straightened, said nothing more, and whispered only:
“Good night, my lady.”
Then he gently closed the door behind him—
Leaving like a breeze.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ynxq3nS67
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You made it this far—you're seriously the sweetest! 🥹💗49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Swd6N8lON
If you liked it, don’t forget to like 👍, bookmark ⭐, and drop a little comment 📝~49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ3IwvBqlg
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