After Retirement, the Demon King Became an Office Worker (and Hates Mondays) - Turns Out When the Bathroom Metaverse Went Live, Even Taking a Dump Became a "Privilege"

[1] "Welcome to the ShitCoin Mining Pool! Today’s excretion can be exchanged for 0.3 KarmaCoins!"

The familiar spirit, wearing VR goggles, squatted on a golden toilet and proclaimed:

Basic Rules:
- Must wear an "Anal Print Scanner" while defecating (for identity verification).
- Automatic mining of "0.1g virtual stool" per minute.
- Constipation sufferers are forcibly enrolled in "Peristalsis Crowdfunding."
Elite Privileges:
- Pay 1 million to unlock the "VIP Hemorrhoid Cushion" (+300% mining efficiency).
- Log 10 toilet hours to earn the "Golden Turd NFT."

The goddess stared at her repurposed timer, holy tears streaming: "This is worse than my AI lip-syncing…"

[2] "Stool Exchange" & "Gut P2P"

A surreal economic frenzy erupted in the metaverse:

"LooseStool Coin" crashed due to excessive liquidity.
"HardStool Blocks" became stable assets (eligible for crypto loans).
The wildest? "Colon Computing Leasing"—256Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMvz7CuUY5
One programmer made a fortune after uploading his "bowel movement algorithm" to the blockchain.

The Dark Lord stared at his "Dark Magic Excrement" price chart and sighed: "So my true value lies in my rectum…"

[3] The Anal-Scan Uprising

When the familiar spirit demanded 3D肛门 mapping from all users:

The hero’s holy sword auto-shattered the scanner (error: "Weapon bound to CEO’s anal data").
The goddess forged "rainbow fart patterns" with divine light.
The Dark Lord cast a spell, making every toilet display:256Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ1EhvpFMz
"Mining in progress… Estimated yield: The Scent of Freedom."

[4] The Metaverse’s Final Boss: Stool Memory

The system suddenly leaked:

"Ex-Tax Director Nenoka’s" logs contained BL fanfiction drafts.
"Otaku Demon’s" virtual stool was shaped like Animal Crossing items.
The fatal blow? The familiar spirit’s own "anal logs" proved it never excreted.

"SCAM!!!" The proletariat of three realms filed a class-action suit—judged by an AI "Toilet-Bot."

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