News Guy:

Ok. I'm coming to you live from the Intergalactic Meeting of Political People, also known as IMPP. The lineup for tonight is Space Jesus, Robot Hitler, Cyber Stalin, Mecha Mussolini, and Winston Churchill. Don't know why he's here, but he is. I guess he's back from the dead. This just in, Barack Obama has arrived on the scene, but he has spray painted himself neon green and is wearing Donald Trump's toupee, which has also been spray painted neon green. Off in a side room, Mitt Romney seems to be playing Monopoly with... Richard Nixon? What's he doing here? Oh wait. Nixon was really FDR wearing a Nixon mask. What's this? It turns out FDR was actually Bill Clinton wearing an FDR mask! It seems that Bill Clinton has just made Mitt Romney go bankrupt! Mitt Romney is now screaming in pain as he disintegrates. I guess they were playing the new gaming sensation that's sweeping the cosmos: Monopoly To The Death. What's this? I'm now getting word that JFK and Abraham Lincoln have just began a pistol duel. They're both loading their guns and taking aim. They both fire simultaneously and hit each other in the head! Both have just fallen to the floor. I'm getting word from a doctor that JFK and Abraham Lincoln have both just died of bullet wounds to the head. This just in, Jeb Bush has gotten up to say a few words. Let's listen.

Jeb Bush:

In light of these deaths, I'd like to say a few words. My fantasy football team is doing great. We just won our eighth victory in a row.

News Guy:

What?! A crowd of little bearded men have just stormed the meeting. Oh wait. Those are dwarves. They seem to be being lead by Gimli. He is holding a sign that says "Dwarves are people too!"

Gimli:

We want equality with humans! We want to be respected and not always joked about.

News Guy:

Robot Hitler is now rising from his seat. I think he wants to say a few words.

Robot Hitler:

Dwarves are racially impure. They will be exterminated.

News Guy:

It appears that Robot Hitler has just exterminated the dwarves by way of vaporization and is now returning to his seat. Mecha Mussolini is showing his approval by showering Robot Hitler with pasta and Cyber Stalin looks like he just doesn't want to be here. Winston Churchill is now staring at the ceiling and singing "I Am The Walrus." Saddam Hussein has appeared on the scene and is now dancing with a bear to Russian orchestra music. Cyber Stalin is watching with interest as Robot Hitler and Mecha Mussolini stare with disgust. Barack Obama is strutting onto the dance floor.

Barack Obama:

Gimme a beat!

Donald Trump:

Give me back my hair!

Barack Obama:

Only if you can beat me in dance off!

Donald Trump:

Fine!

News Guy:

Barack Obama and Donald Trump are competing in a dance off. Barack Obama has become a total black stereotype and is now raising the roof. Donald Trump retorts by forcing Obama to watch him whip. What's this? Michael Jackson has appeared on the scene with an army of zombies and is kicking both of their asses in the dance off. Oh wait! Michael Jackson and the zombies are just holograms. Donald Trump is now repeatedly punching Barack Obama in the face and has retrieved his toupee.

Donald Trump:

Take that you little fucker!

News Guy:

An army of purple seals in armor with weapons has stormed the meeting. One is moving forward. It seems to be the leader. It is wearing the usual armor plus a red hat with a blue propeller on top.

Leader Seal:

(Seal noises).

Cyber Stalin:

Absolutely not! We will not meet those demands.

Robot Hitler:

I concur.

Space Jesus:

Which ever one of you who has never attacked a meeting asking for 40 million pounds of different kinds of fish and entire ocean planet to yourself can deny these seals their demands.

News Guy:

Cyber Stalin and Robot Hitler have returned to their seats and along with Space Jesus, Mecha Mussolini, and Winston Churchill, have begun negotiating with the purple battle seals.

Leader Seal:

(Seal noises).

Space Jesus:

I think asking for an entire planet for only a couple thousand of you is a little silly. Don't you? Maybe if there were more of you.

Leader Seal:

(Angry seal noises).

Space Jesus:

Don't you take that tone with your lord and savior! What would we do with the species that already live their?

Leader Seal:

(Seal noises).

Space Jesus:

No! We can't just wipe out multiple species!

Robot Hitler:

I don't see why not.

Space Jesus:

Your vote doesn't count when it comes to genocide, Robot Hitler.

Robot Hitler:

Seals. I will aid you in annihilating the creatures already on the planet. My Robot SS will kill all non-seals on the planet!

Space Jesus:

They most certainly will not!

Cyber Stalin:

I'm with Space Jesus on this one.

Mecha Mussolini:

I'm with Robot Hitler.

Winston Churchill:

I'm with Space Jesus.

Robot Hitler:

Then I declare Universe War II. The teams are Purple Battle Seals, Robot Nazis, and Mecha Fascist Italians (aka The Technical Tyrants) versus the Armies of Space Heaven, the Cyber Soviets, and the English (aka The High-Tech Heroes).

Kazuo Hirai:

Wait! Sony wants to join the Robot Nazis, Mecha Fascist Italians, and the purple battle seals.

Shigeru Miyamoto:

Nintendo wishes to join Space Heaven, the Cyber Soviets, and the English!

Robot Hitler:

Then we shall meet on the field of battle!