Valerie sat alone at the bar inside the dimly lit nightclub. A small clearing at the front of the cluster of tables served as a makeshift dancefloor. Valerie recognized a few of the regulars among the audience and she caught sight of red hair tips flitting about.
“Can I get you another?” The bartender interrupted her thoughts.
“No, I’m good.” Valerie dismissed him out of reflex, but then one of her interrupted thoughts bubbled to the surface. “That’s my girlfriend on stage.”
“She’s not bad.” The bartender looked up from the pitcher of beer he was filling.
Valerie looked over at the small girl on the stage, in her punk rock uniform covering songs from the nineties. She shook her head at the irony of it all. “Yeah.”
“You’re a singer too aren’t you?” The bartender took a closer look at the redhead. “I think I recognize you, have you played a show here before?”
“Mhm.”
“Well that’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s nice to have things in common,” The bartender smiled, giving out well meant platitudes.
“I guess.”
“You wanna close out your tab?”
Valerie looked over at the stage again. She watched a smaller blonder version of herself sing songs from before she was born. The redhead thought about staying for the full set but quickly realized that she didn’t have the stomach for it. “Sure.”
She paid her bill and grabbed her helmet off the counter. A few strides later, she was out the door and on the patio around back. A few guys were smoking and chatting with beers in hand around one of the tables. The one with dark hair looked over at Valerie and half raised his hand to wave before he caught the sour look on her face. He thought better of it and returned to the conversation with his drinking buddies for the night.
Valerie pulled out a crumpled pack of bad habits from one of her jacket’s many zippered pockets. Half of them were just for show and didn’t lead to anything but a wrinkle in the fabric. A few zips and unzips later, she pulled out a smooth metal rectangle as well. Hoping to calm her agitated mind, she stuck a cigarette between her lips. With a practiced flick of her wrist, the lighter ignited the tip and was snapped shut within the span of a second.
She took a deep drag and expelled a long exhale. Valerie created a column of smoke stemming from her upturned face, trailing into the night sky and replacing the canvas of grey clouds with a mist of grey smoke.
She remembered the unsmoked ash stick between her girlfriend’s fingers earlier and sighed. The redhead tossed out the barely smoked cigarette in disgust.
Valerie began to leave the patio and return to her bike. But before she committed to making her exit, she had a moment of clarity while breathing in the fresh air. She ran her hand through her hair a few times, lost in thought about how she wanted to handle the conversation with Floy.
She sighed and pulled out her last remaining cigarette. By the time Valerie finally decided to light it, she heard applause from inside the bar and a young singer wrapping up the show with her closing ‘Thank you’s to the audience. The redhead leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, letting the cigarette burn without inhaling for a second time.
I’ll let her have her moment first, Valerie thought. Even though she wasn’t happy with Floy, she didn’t want to ruin the afterglow of her live show. That wouldn’t be fair to her as a singer. Valerie maintained respect for the title, if not the person wearing it. She flicked a lengthy chunk of ash into the air, watching the wind pick up specks of grey as it swept across the small courtyard behind the bar.
The sounds inside had begun to die down, Valerie decided to wait another minute, this time for her own sake. To deliberate, to double check, to decide.
A moment later, she flicked the cigarette onto the ground in front of her and stamped it out with her riding boot.
The bothered young woman went back into the club and headed for the backstage prep room that she often used herself. She knocked on the wooden door once and then wrenched it open. The redhead was immediately greeted by the pungent smell of a joint that the trio of band members were passing between themselves. All three of them were lounging on their backs on top of bean bags, blowing smoke up at the ceiling.
“Are you kidding me?” Valerie rolled her eyes.
“Hey Val,” Floy quickly sat up and passed the joint back to Hunter who raised one arm to wave in the direction of the door. “Did you like the show?”
“I’m heading home, are you coming?”
“Don’t you wanna hang out with us for a bit?” Floy moved to one side of her bean bag and made room for Valerie.
“No Floy, I have work I need to finish.” The redhead shook her head. “Don’t you have a midterm tomorrow?”
“Um,” The younger girl tried to recall through the haze in her mind. “Probably? If I do, it’s in the afternoon, I remember that much. I’ll finish cramming tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah, you go do that.” Valerie nodded curtly. “I’m leaving.”
“Wait!” Floy jumped up from the bean bag and caught up with the college senior in the corridor outside. “Look I’m sorry about earlier, it’s been a busy few days and I just- I just mixed up the days okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.” Valerie shook her head again. “You do this on a weekly basis now. You’re either too stoned to remember what day it is, or you just straight up don’t care anymore.”
“What’s the big deal?” The freshman frowned. “I’m not failing any of my classes, so what if I miss a test or two? The whole point of picking my major was so I wouldn’t have to give a shit.”
Valerie ran her hand through her red locks, “I’m tired of having the same argument with you. So I’m done.” She let out a slow sigh. “We’re done.”
The smaller girl’s eyes opened wide at Valerie’s words, she tried to speak but found that no sound came out. On her third attempt, she managed a single shaky, “Okay”.
Valerie looked at the younger girl’s face for a moment longer, taking one last memory of her girlfriend, for the road, as she said goodbye. “Okay”
Floy watched as the redhead flashed her a wry smile on her way out. The small blonde stood alone in the corridor for a while, trying to make sense of the new state of her world.
“Hey,” Hunter knocked on the wall beside Floy’s head to get her attention. “You alright?”
She turned her head and looked over at her friend and bandmate, the tears that were forming at the corner of her eyes gave him the real answer. “Yep.”
“Need a ride?” He offered. “I think your lady just scared us all sober.”
“Yep.”
Ethan poked his head out from inside the prep room as well, “You okay, Floy?”
“Yep.” She replied and began walking away. Hunter shrugged and they followed the small blonde as she made her way out through the club’s backdoor.140Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl69Vz0AQNG
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