Two nurses urgently pushed a stretcher with a bloody mess of a girl lying on it through the intake corridor to the nearest emergency room. The rest of the trauma team quickly assembled and the doctor began his initial assessment before they even entered the operating room.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj7zKLVJci
“Give me the pre-arrival,” He peeled back an eyelid and flashed a light into the girl’s pupils.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz04pKdfIEp
“Twenty one year old female, car crash victim, unresponsive on scene, paramedics haven’t been able to resuscitate. She’s breathing on her own but her pulse is erratic. Major blood loss from a gash across her waist.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLVnZcaA89
On the mattress that was slowly turning crimson, the girl lying there had her first thought since the crash forty minutes prior. ‘I’m scared Cody.’16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AcSjjSZmy
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRomeFbgiwA
The sun began to disappear below the skyline as I walked my bike down the steep hill. About half way to the bottom, the grass gave away to sand and eventually became the pebbly river bank that I spent so many days and nights at. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends, and sometimes with Vera. I called out to the silhouette standing at the edge of the water, she waved without turning around and I knew she was lost in her thoughts as usual.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH5QVKDjGh
The river was almost at its narrowest right now, only about ten meters across, a mere stone's throw away. But these ten meters were what separated Vera and I. She lived on the other side, which was the boundary between school districts. Her family moved across it six years ago, when we were fifteen and just starting to discover the complications of boy-girl friendships. She had to change schools as a result of the move and naturally, we drifted apart bit by bit. The only time I would see her was when she had something on her mind that she couldn't tell anyone else. I suppose it's a small victory that I've maintained that status, but in reality, I wish I didn't.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OUq6zSEp7
“Trouble with your parents again?” My bike bounced lightly over the uneven surfaces of the pebbles.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJUgbnuHrf
She shrugged. I really hated seeing her here, against the backdrop of the evening sky. Hell, I'd hate to see any girl here, unless I was dating her. Envy? Jealousy? I have more than my fair share of those. Vera finally turned to face me, her long black hair swayed a little with the motion. I recognized the sad smile on her lips and that downcast look in her eyes.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoghHp8TdCj
“No,” I refused quickly.
Vera frowned and reached out a hand, expecting me to take it.
“Uh-uh,” I shook my head. “Not this time.”
Her frown changed to a pout while she continued to hold out her hand. We stared at each other for half a minute before I gave in. That's a new record, it's taken me well over fifteen years to develop enough resolve to resist Vera's pout for a mere half minute.
I took her hand in mine and stood beside her silently, the only sound for now was from the lapping of water on the river bank. It's moments like these that make everything I've ever gone through worth it. But it's also these moments that make me die inside. How I longed to be the first person she saw in the morning, and the last before she closed her eyes at night. I wanted so badly to hold her and never let go, but that became an impossible dream somewhere along the way.
I thought back to the time I asked her out, it was about a month after her family moved across the river. It must have been a warm day come to think of it, I remembered her wearing a cute yellow summer dress. Vera looked good in anything, her body had mostly filled out by her sixteenth birthday, a day that I could never understand.
It was her sweet-sixteen birthday party, and all of her friends were there, as well as many of mine for some reason. Guys who barely knew her showed up, and I'm pretty sure they weren't there to hang out with me. Then again, who could blame them, the belle of the town was having her sixteenth birthday, any guy who had any reason to be there, went.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmFjfBIxBw
I didn't mind my friends tagging along, I had planned to ask her out on her birthday for about a month by that time. My resolve was built up and embarrassment didn't even cross my mind. Not even the fact that I saw my own parents there made me falter. I was confident, and I was excited. We've been friends since we were babies, and as we grew up, our bond grew stronger. So back then, I was sure she would say yes. I was so sure of myself that when it happened, I had no idea what to do.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO72EsxXIla
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Aw7Dd345D
Vera sat on the couch in her living room, wishing she was locked in her room. The small space was packed with practically the entire sophomore class. All of her friends as well as Cody’s came to her birthday party. Kate was among them, looking at her intensely, assessing every tiny movement on Vera’s face. She knew her mother had made the arrangements, along with Cody’s probably. For her. So she sat on the couch in her living room, knowing that they were all here to cheer her up.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNMDGb8zkg
She forced a smile. “Thank you for coming everyone, it means a lot to me.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7K2t4mDgn
“Of course sweetie,” Cody’s mother hugged her, and she hugged Mrs. Klassen back tighter. The two had spent much of their time together in the days right after the incident.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpNrndF5di
Her own mother nudged her shoulder, “It’s time to blow out the candles.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewl40Civjm
Vera blinked away the beginning of tears and noticed the large cake sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She looked around and saw everyone watching her, but they never looked at her the same after what happened. What used to be the spark of friends looking to get into trouble together became concerned gazes to make sure she wasn’t harming herself. The boys stopped flirting with her, keeping their distance but always ready to help her if she ever asked.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtKWMw2Lrc
She never did, she couldn’t find the words. ‘Come back Cody.’ Were the only words on her mind for the past month.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJMv3V8aBy
The brief flash of those three words in her mind brought on a fresh wave of emotions that she fought to push back. She bit into her lower lip, parts of it were still scabbed over from previous bites.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcP0G0v53t
“Vera!” Her father’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she tasted salt in her mouth. Mr. Lee handed her a napkin and she wiped away the blood.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOy0gsEsvP8
“Sorry dad,” She mumbled.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU84Fc6VyS
“It’s fine,” He took the napkin from her and pocketed it quickly. “Take your time, it’s okay.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8u2TMA2Z0
The trembling girl put on her best smile once more and took a deep breath. She looked at the candles in front of her, and against her best attempts not to, she looked beyond the candles. At nothing.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7CfGodDoA
At a spot where there should be someone but there was nothing. Just the empty space between the coffee table and the TV. She continued to stare at it, forgetting that her breath was still trapped in her burning lungs.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWcvGuQM0j
She imagined the scene she had been looking forward to since the start of high school play out in her mind. Vera closed her eyes and saw Cody standing in front of her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv9WNC1OgT
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YqCfoGYFN
I stood in front of Vera, my entire body buzzing with adrenaline and excitement. I had rehearsed this moment for days and I had every word memorized. There was no way for me to fumble, so I stood there, grinned and said, “Vera, will you be my girlfriend?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOeE2Y7lwP
The entire room slowly fell silent, at about the same rate that Vera's expression changed to one of pain. Tears welled up in her eyes, dripped down her cheeks and onto her cake. I was completely caught off guard by her reaction and I could only stand there with my mouth open trying to think of something to say. Why had she started crying? Why did she look so sad and hurt? And then she started screaming.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7k9AqhkAAe
“Everyone get out!” Her voice was panicked and shrill. I've never heard her like that before, what happened?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a7YoB90jo
“Honey, what's wrong?” Her father reached down to comfort her but she slapped his hands away.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mB4GlCHEY
“I want everyone out right now!” Vera screamed again. “I hate you all! I don't need your pity! Get out!”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiuXOlz0Eh
“I'm sorry,” I managed to finally say. “I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry Vera.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vmjiwHOs0
She didn't hear me through the general confusion in the room as people started to stream out the door.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPcvwSaR4p
“What's her problem?” Some of the guys asked each other, I recognized them as my strictly-school-friends who I didn't know that well. And they didn't know Vera aside from the fact that she was queen of the school. Well, the school she used to go to.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYjIGiOeW7
“Shut up and leave.” A girl answered them. Kate, Vera's closest friend after me. Or perhaps before me? Hell, at this point, it feels like I'm not very high on her list.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r1CdS41AX
Kate and a few of the girls from her group helped usher everyone out the door, keeping their comments and questions to a minimum. It almost seemed like they knew this was going to happen, just what was going on here?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPJ7YyAM0U
After everyone had cleared out, Vera's parents stood beside her, each holding one of her hands. No one in the room spoke a word, and I felt out of place. I couldn't make sense of my situation but I couldn't just stand there and do nothing either.
“Hey Vera?” I tried to get her attention again, but she never looked up after that. “I'm really sorry for what I did, I mean, I feel like such an asshole cause I don't even remember what it was. But I'm sure it was really bad and I am so so sorry... I'll do anything to make it up to you.”
Still, she refused to look at me. Kate came by to Vera's side and patted her arm, she whispered a few words into her ear and I saw Vera nod a few times.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlvH7g3rJc
“Alright, let's go.” Kate said quietly to the group of girls, and she glanced at me briefly before leaving.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QtZufBRKI
I guess I should go... I looked at Vera one last time as I walked out the door. What happened in there?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdTztI5xhk
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwWmbhvARw
To this day, I still have no idea, but every time I tried to ask her about it... she got a faraway look in her eyes and her entire mood would suddenly drop. So after a few tries, I stopped. It wasn't worth it, as much as it killed me to not know, I never wanted to see her like that again. So here I stand, beside her, but not with her. When I was a kid, about thirteen or so, I always imagined what it would be like to grow up and marry Vera. But now, that dream is all but gone.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP5i7yPNrW
After the incident at her birthday party, no one wanted to talk to me, and all my friends turned their backs on me. Which was perfectly fine, I didn't want to talk to or see anyone either. I had my own problems to sort out. Why did Vera suddenly hate me? I never found out, she stopped answering my calls, and I didn't feel brave enough to just show up at her house.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXZ7QmBDqg
It was half a year before I heard from her again. I got a letter one day, it had read, 'Dear Cody, I'm finally able to write this letter to you. These past few months have been hell, my parents got scared after I freaked out at my birthday party. Some doctor put me on a new medication, something about manic depression. I miss you. Let's meet up at our usual place, at sunset. Signed, Vera'.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwWWBm3mep
I could hear my heart pounding in my chest as I folded the letter and tucked it back into its envelope. The stationary smelled like her, the handwriting was hers without a doubt. This was real. I had resigned myself to a life of self-loathing and solitude, but seeing this letter from Vera gave me hope. Maybe she'll forgive me for what I did to her, maybe she'll tell me what I did to hurt her so much. I had all kinds of crazy theories for what happened, thinking too much will do that, but what else could I do?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P5jsbeRxp
The first reunion we had passed like all the ones after. She would hold my hand tightly, not letting go for the entire duration, and talk. Talk of our childhood, talk of her current days, the things that happened recently, her dreams, hopes, wishes, all the typical stuff friends talk about to catch up. But there was always more, underneath the normal chatter, there would always be a dark story lurking, a story she would eventually find the courage to tell me. And I would listen. To every word she said, perfectly attentive, offering advice, opinions and consolations where appropriate. I swore that I would never do anything to offend her again, even if it hurt so much to be beside her. Even if I had my own problems, I wouldn't let that get between what little Vera and I had left.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPjcbfqiCm
As for the darker bits, she talked about all the pills her parents and her doctors made her take. And about how she didn't need them at all, but her parents were too worried about her. So she took the pills to appease them. She told me about losing most of her friends, about shutting herself in, even though she knew it was the wrong thing to do. 'But it hurts too much right now,' she had said.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgFrhuHDDO
By the time she was done, it would be night, the sun would've been down for at least four hours. A breeze would've picked up off the river, chilling us even through our jackets. But neither of us minded, we had each others' warmth. And I knew, that's all either of us ever needed.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdx1hEI4Nx
And then, she started talking about boyfriends during our short time together. I was infuriated, I hated her for tormenting me like that, and it felt like she was getting back at me for whatever I had done to her. I wanted to get up and leave, to pick up my bike, walk up the hill, and ride as fast as I possibly could. I just wanted to get away from her, from Vera, from the girl I could never have. But she held onto my hand, so I stayed. I listened, and I died inside at every word, every story.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2yE2MFHAj
I guess I took some solace in the fact that her 'boyfriends' were only in name. Kate kept trying to set her up with various guys she knew, and Vera could never say no. Ironically enough, that was my fault, I once told her that she should give everything and everyone a chance. At the time, I think I was trying to convince her to watch something other than a Chaplin movie. Vera never actually spent any time with her boyfriends, which made me feel that she was dating them just to spite me. Sure it's egocentric for me to think that, but I'm way past the point of rational thought on this subject.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRd1qaI7WN1
“What do you want to talk about today?” I asked.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrgofsYKFu
She looked at me for a moment and then turned towards the hill. Vera led me upwards until we were standing on the sandy part, then she sat down and I took a seat beside her. We watched the sunset in silence like we usually do, it was especially nice during autumn because of the welcome cool breeze in the evenings. Vera leaned on me and rested her head on my shoulder, I closed my eyes to fight back tears, it gets a little easier every time.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASaa2ZktPX
“Do you remember...” She spoke softly.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsZBF8FLVd
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZKkTO0bTg
We hid in the coat room next to our classroom, waiting for the hallway monitor to patrol away. As soon as she was out of sight, we made a break for the stairwell, running as fast as our seven year old legs would take us. The two of us sprinted down four flights of stairs and then out the fire door. We were free.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPjG1d7ASI
I held her hand in mine as we ran across the playground towards the edge of the school property. I heard someone yelling from behind us and I knew we had been spotted. But it was too late, they wouldn't be able to chase us through the woods, and besides, I'm pretty sure the teachers had given up on us by this point. Vera and I broke out at least once a week, we had it down to a science. Our parents would get a call from the school and either mine or Vera's parents would lecture us a little over dinner.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkC1cooLqt
“Where do you wanna go today?” She asked.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjegCpM88P
“Let's go for a swim.” I grinned.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCKOU34a6B
“That's so far away...”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcCAlAPuVz
“If you get tired, I'll piggy back you.” I led her onwards through the trees. We never took the trails, where's the fun in that?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURbYZHr52s
“That's what you said last time, but you were the one that got tired first.” said Vera.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIt6WSGSwHu
“I promise ok?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWisReBd1J
She followed me silently for a while, then she stopped. “I still don't wanna.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aGUceOnOR
“Why not?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNqSsnBsgT
“It's too cold today,” she replied.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjxSUE02wI
“Fine, what do you want to do then?” I frowned.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiy2JhJwGc
“I dunno...” she shrugged.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlgje42Vn1
“We could go back to school.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2nWoo1lrw
“No way,” Vera shook her head. “Let's go to the movie theater.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8rae05OJP
“Again? We went last week.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BSU2pXhic
“So?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ173MvhWqK7
“I still say we go swimming.” I started walking again but Vera wouldn't budge. I turned back to glare at her and she put on her pout.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfngKs8fGad
“Please Cody?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8N4c7lNQb
I held my ground for a while but eventually gave in. “Ok, let's go.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSzfU6TQlH
She brightened up instantly and I reluctantly followed as she led me towards town. About thirty minutes later, we were outside the local theater. They played a lot of old movies during the daytime. Most of its patrons at this hour were the elderly, which made sense, who else would have time to watch movies during the day? Well, we did, I guess. Vera was really into the black and white films, she especially enjoyed Charlie Chaplin, which is what we usually ended up seeing.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGaYRkps0s
“How many days have you two skipped this month?” The old man at the ticket counter asked us.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnV8fuu0WDV
Vera held up five fingers with a wide smile and I held up two.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW1bpJDRhg
“Five times huh?” He laughed. “Lying is a bad habit Cody.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxn1I9nwdAt
I shot a look at Vera who didn't notice, she was already looking over the list of movies playing today.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuORTiZbfT5
“I had a feeling you two would come 'ere today, so I put on a Chaplin movie for the young lady.” He gave us a toothless smile along with two tickets.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1R8xUFPtq
I paid for them while Vera went to buy popcorn and drinks. Well, there goes the last of this month's allowance, and I'm pretty sure Vera had none left after today as well. Looks like we're gonna be stuck in school for the rest of March.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuI4qEdRViU
I knew the real reason she didn't want to go swimming was because her mom didn't like it when we did that. Ever since we were toddlers, our parents found it hard to control what we did or where we went. Both sets of moms and dads tried for the longest time, but Vera and I always found a way to sneak off. So eventually, they just let it happen.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFS13cjUbT
Of course they still worried like crazy about our well being, but it was somewhat alleviated by the fact that the entire town knew us. The people here had gotten used to us showing up at random places and most of them welcomed us. I'm sure everyone loved Vera, and I generally stayed out of trouble so I was tolerated. The way our parents regulated our activities was through allowance, and... Vera. Her mom told her to only play in town, so it was really hard for me to convince her to go elsewhere. And since most of the things we do in town cost money, like the movies or getting ice cream, our allowance limited how often we could skip school. It was pretty clever in retrospect.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjh8gQTxuS1
The movie we saw was 'City Lights', a love story about a blind flower girl and Chaplin's Tramp. I ended up enjoying it so I didn't mind coming here. I could tell that Vera was completely mesmerized by the actors on screen. When I turned to whisper something to her once in a while, I would see the wondrous look in her eyes. They seemed to be focused on something that I couldn't see, she was lost in her own world, unable to hear my voice. A few times, she would pick up a handful of popcorn, but her hand would pause halfway to her mouth, and it would just hang there. I had to move her arm for her, just so her mouth wouldn't stay half opened, waiting for the popcorn.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL743yMPIo
The closing scene was a meeting between the flower girl, cured of her blindness, and the Tramp. Through touching his hand, she figured out that it was him whom she had fallen in love with while she was blind. As the curtains closed on their last expressions, I looked over at Vera and saw tears streaming down her face. I pulled out a pack of tissues, which I always kept handy since she was a big cry baby. As I was wiping her eyes, she finally returned from the world that she had been lost in and smiled at me. A wide smile full of innocence and charm, one that could knock you off your feet or pick you up from the worst days of your life.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyccTRzRgnH
“That was a good movie,” She said softly.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2m374aYNJ0
I nodded in agreement, “What time is it?” I hated wearing a watch, and I figured since I'm always with Vera anyway, I could just rely on her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z79eHvR6w
“Almost four,” She still seemed a bit dazed. “We should go home, I think dinner is at your house today.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsBHLvxpZD
“Really? I thought it was yours today. I was looking forward to your mom's pasta.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfLjEY8Jv9
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl4sFqpwVP
“Yeah...” I chuckled. “I miss those days Vera, I really do.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJHw1iL6SO
She gripped my arm tighter, “I miss you...”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZFk6JJ1Fd
“We could spend more time together, like we used to.” I couldn't help trying again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTolKvikN3
Vera let go of me and stood up. After stretching her legs a little she looked at me with the same sad eyes I've come to hate. Just what did she see in me that made her so sad? As far as I know, although I've made mistakes, I've never truly hurt her. Was this some really twisted reasoning in her mind? The confusion I've felt for so many years became warped into indignation and a little bit of anger, what had I done wrong?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDdwse8AGM
Every offense I could think of couldn't possibly produce such a reaction from her. So what if I was too protective of her in middle school? So what if I forgot a few of our plans? Who doesn't slip up once in a while? I've always made up for them to the best of my ability. The first time we tried to sneak out of grade five, our teacher caught Vera and gave her detention. I know it was probably wrong to leave without her, but I did, and I felt bad about it. So I bought a bag of her favourite candy, fuzzy peaches, and went back to school at the start of detention time. I actually snuck into detention just to make up for it. I stayed the full hour with her, and she had forgiven me.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ474LjXyuTh
So what was it? When we were thirteen, I walked in on her while she was changing. I was embarrassed and she was flustered, but that wouldn't make her hate me like this. When we were four, I broke her favourite toy, a blue truck. I gave her three of my toy cars as an apology, and spent the better part of a day trying to reattach the wheel that I had pulled off. In the end, I never fixed it. I mean, come on, this is how desperate I've become, trying to find some reason, just one reason why Vera would suddenly treat me like this. I'm pulling out memories that were over a decade old, just to try and figure it out.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd53pcNEWc
In grade six, I blew her off to hang out with some new friends I had made. She wouldn't talk to me for a week, and it was the worst week of my life. Later, when I asked her about it, she told me that not talking to me was the hardest thing she had ever done. Clearly, being apart was painful for both of us, so why is this happening? When we were fifteen, I sold her cellphone number to a bunch of guys, for ten bucks each. The total was something like eighty-three dollars, four CDs, and a very pissed off Vera. I even offered to split the profit, but she hit me when I mentioned it. So, I ended up buying her a new phone, and paying for her unlimited day-time-calling and texting plan for six months. She was the only one at school who had that, and I forfeited my allowance for those six months. I even picked up a paper route just to have some money to spend.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmoS7D5Gnp
“Time to head home,” She said. “Mom hates it when I come here.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jNMK2yBUF
“See ya...” I shook my head. Forget it, one of these days, I'll stop coming here. I'll stop trying to figure Vera out, and I'll move on. One day, I'll just crumple up her letter and throw it away.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYn7JBH7q6
We parted ways at the top of the hill, she was heading over to the other side of the river and I still lived on this side of it. Here's a funny thought, maybe I'll go insane from all this, and start blaming this river for all my troubles. When I do, I'm gonna dig another channel upstream and change the course of the river to flow right through my high school.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArl6sDs3ks
I hopped on my bike and pedaled towards the woods, the one that separated the river from my elementary school. The same patch of trees Vera and I used to play in, I could probably find the spot she talked about today. The place where she said she wanted to see a movie instead of swimming. I really liked these woods because there were only two trails, one going north to south, and the other east to west. And no one strayed from those trails, except Vera and I, well, mostly me. She didn't like it, but went along with it just because I wanted to. Wandering these woods, I felt like I had something that no one else dared to approach. The foreboding atmosphere and the dark lighting kept them at bay, but not me. If I wasn't allowed to do it, I would be there, doing it, and grinning.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjFNji8ocZ
But truth be told, it has been a while since I've been in here. That's the thing with nature, if you leave it alone for a while, it changes so much to the point where you can't recognize it. But if you spend every day in it, it becomes as familiar as your own body. I was lost in thought when I first came into these woods and didn't take a mental note of where I was going. A feeling of dread slowly made its way to the forefront of my cluttered thoughts. I'm more than lost in thought now, I think I might actually be lost. How sad is this? I could have walked through here blindfolded when I was just seven years old, but look at me now, twenty-one and lost.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHJOE8riBK
It was past ten according to my cellphone and out here there were no lights except from the moon. Which, of course, happened to be a thin crescent. How did I make it through here last time? I can't remember, why can't I remember? Whatever, these woods were only a couple of kilometers wide, if I keep walking in a straight line, I'll get out eventually. Then it would just be a matter of putting myself back on track towards home. So on I went, riding when I could, walking when the trees were too close together, or when the ground was too uneven.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGwuIwcOwJ
I should be out by now, even if I did stray from a straight course, I should be out. It's been at least an hour, I took out my cellphone to make sure. It refused to turn on and I realized the battery must have died. Great, today just keeps getting worse and worse. I was having a pretty good day too, until I got a letter from Vera. Wait, what did I even do this morning? Why can't I remember that either? How pathetic is this? The only thing I remember from today was the letter and everything afterward.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfbEnZ8acD
Even after five years, she still had that effect on me. She could take my mind off everything and bring me back to her. For a few short hours, I would feel like my life mattered. It was still painful, but at least it had a purpose, to be there for her. She interrupted the boredom of my daily routine. If I wasn't at school, I was at work. And at night, if I wasn't sitting alone at home, I was sitting alone at home. What's a life? I think I stopped living mine after Vera tore us apart.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFTrLMW7tS
I rested for a moment by leaning against one of the trees. What day is it? Wednesday? Thursday? I hope it's Thursday, since I don't have work on Fridays, and it's not like I bothered going to my classes. What's the worst that could happen here? I'm lost, I'll sleep here, get bitten by bugs, and feel like total crap tomorrow morning. Nothing a shower and some strong coffee can't fix right? A few minutes later, I got on my bike again and started pedaling, just for the hell of it. Who knows, I might luck out and find my way through these woods. Yeah right, I'll consider myself lucky to not get bitten by anything poisonous tonight.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyC2ab37qqH
As that thought passed through my mind, I caught sight of what looked like a broken down house in the distance. It jarred my memory and I recalled that I found this place when I was ten, it was my secret hideout, not even Vera knew about it. Oh wow, this house was still standing, I'm pretty sure most of the woodwork was beyond rotten, and half the floorboards were missing the last time I was here, which was at least seven years ago. I guess I did luck out, a little, at least I'll have a somewhat solid roof over my head and a layer of maggot infested wood between me and the rest of the insect world.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeABJpFdgCM
I parked my bike on the porch and attempted to open the front door, which led me to remember that it had been nailed shut. I used to squeeze through one of the open windows on the second floor, which I reached by climbing up a drain pipe. I doubt it would support my weight now, but hey, I have other tools at my disposal this time around. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around my right hand, then I swiftly punched through a window on the ground floor. The glass shattered easily since it was already cracked in several places, I carefully removed the shards that still stuck to the frame. A couple of minutes later, I was inside and breathing in the dusty air. It was a bit sickening, but also strangely familiar, this was definitely the house I used to run away to. The reason I never told Vera about it was because I only came here when she was angry at me, usually after one of my stupid stunts.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt0uw0DP2k
I stepped lightly across the dining room I had broken into and towards the den. I was surprised I still knew my way around after all these years. I also remembered there being a couple of couches and endless shelves full of books in the den. I spent many afternoons in that dusty room reading strange books on a dilapidated couch. When I thought about it, I'm actually a quiet kid, but there was something about being with Vera that changed me. During the times when Vera wasn't talking to me, I came here and was perfectly happy to sit still for hours at a time, reading something I could make no sense of. Maybe I'll do that now, I smiled to myself.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH94cgIUp7
I froze in mid-step at the entrance to the den, there was someone in there! I barely managed to not yell out profanities due to my surprise. The person sitting there was an elderly lady, so I imagined I would've made a bad first impression if the first words out of my mouth were 'fuck' and 'Jesus' in no particular order.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFrHkr4EVy
“Hello,” I managed to blurt out semi-normally.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiZBc7cOxu
“Hello to you too,” She didn't look up from the book she was reading. Her glasses had a gold chain on one side, really old fashioned.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82nfncw8ex
“Sorry for intruding, I'll get the broken window fixed as soon as possible.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDK7tH6QKUy
“There are no broken windows in my house,” She said.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXxwQmmBNo
“No I meant, uh...” I chuckled. “You must've heard it, I got in by breaking one of the windows.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uac4HHPMV
“It's not broken,” She said again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeoGg5DC7Q
I turned around to look at the way I came and I couldn't spot the shards of glass on the floor from earlier. I went back into the dining room to get a closer look and she was right, the window was fine, cracked, but fine. What's going on? How did I get in then? This can't be right. Alright forget it, I just want this day to be over. I went back into the den and approached the old woman.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeHMZPlaTv
“Hi again, my name is Cody.” I extended a hand towards her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NxnbL1XHG
She finally looked up at me, shook her head and sighed, “So young...”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg6UACMWOe
“Sorry?” What did she just say?16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFJOOw204p
“Have a seat Cody.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM5R0PWuEf
“Thanks...” I let my hand drop to my side and sat down on the other couch. “So uh... is it ok if I stayed here for tonight? I can't seem to find my way out of these woods.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ1cDS4d9c
She looked at me again and nodded with a sad smile, “Just one night then.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHwFCKWmC2
“Thank you, Mrs...?” I fished for her name.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ73XjWzSi
“Delaney, Elanor Delaney.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AR8oguNO2
“It's nice to meet you Mrs. Delaney.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hwm0YXwFc
“I have doubts about that,” She smiled. “When you realize who you are, you will no longer think this meeting is all that pleasant.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDahuFdzyyj
“Who I am?” I was confused. “What do you mean? I know who I am.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEFMp9Uyt6
“You know who you were.” Elanor pointed to the book on the stand near my couch. “Read that.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoR3aOSHbR
I picked up the book, feeling the rough leather binding. It was a little dusty but otherwise still had its shine, I guess it was bound only a few years ago. “What will reading this book do? I'm not sure I follow.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRk6u3Jptf
“You've never once believed anything I told you, I don't imagine you'd start now, Cody.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB5BiRE66M
“Try me,” I sat the book down in my lap and folded my hands across it. My day's been strange enough already, a crazy story from a kooky old lady couldn't make it much worse.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPwyzKjWCk
“Very well,” Elanor snapped the book in her hands shut, a tiny puff of dust shot upwards and then settled. She took her time walking to one of the shelves where she put the heavy volume away. Then, with the same slow calculated pace, she walked back to her couch and sat down again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnfl6wYK9w
When she looked at me, her eyes were doleful. I began to feel a little apprehensive about the whole situation, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to be here.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5CbwYvcOA
“Well, there's no easy way to say this, and I do hate breaking the news to youngsters like you.” Elanor sighed. “You died Cody.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BcyRzy1ff
I stared at her for a second and then a short laugh escaped my lips. “Wow lady, you've lost it haven't you?”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4HgkhDSDs
“Like I've told you, you've never believed me. Why start now?” She shrugged and pointed to the book in my lap again. “Read it.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktpoXNUg4x
“Sure, why not?” Beats the alternative of conversing with Elanor, I thought.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIy5DXKoqvB
I flipped open the cover and suddenly my full attention was on the book in my hands. It was handwritten, and I recognized the writer. It was Vera's writing. Why is this book here? How is this book even possible? The title was 'Dear Cody', it took me a few moments before I worked up the courage to turn to the next page.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05jhnfYgBE
It was a letter, written to me, the date was about a month before her sixteenth birthday, the day she moved away. That can't just be a coincidence can it? I flipped through the rest of the pages quickly, they were all letters, addressed to me. About fifty 'Dear Cody's were in here, what is this? I flipped back to the first letter and started to read the contents of it.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtdzgdc6Hp
'Dear Cody, What am I supposed to do now? Why did God take you away from me like this? I've been a good girl all my life, I always included you in my evening prayers, and yet this happened. When they took you to the emergency room, they wouldn't even let me see you. I must be going crazy, writing a letter to you like this, but I can't help it. No one understands what I'm feeling, and I can't seem to stop crying. I want you to come back Cody, please come back. I need you.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9arvqELQ5l
I shook my head fiercely, not willing to believe the words on the page. This isn't real, I'm just having a really messed up dream. That makes perfect sense, I'm sleeping in the woods, and having a nightmare, that's all it is. This is my repressed emotions being released, I imagine Freud would have a field day with this one. I turned the page.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYg4zgHtQ5
'Dear Cody, My parents decided to move into a new house across the river today. They dragged me kicking and screaming into the car, if you were here, I'm sure you would've found a way to steal me away from them. Why aren't you here Cody? You promised you would never leave me. You promised. I asked Uncle Nate if I could see you, but he said no. I'm going to sneak out of the house tonight to visit you. I'm a little scared of walking through the woods myself, but I'll do it for you Cody.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY2WgKCook
Vera walked through the woods alone? At night? What happened to me that would compel her to do that? I continued reading.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8npxq4lxL
The next entry was dated two weeks later, 'Dear Cody, They buried you today, at your funeral. I can't believe you're actually gone. Forever. I think I must still be in shock or something, I'm not feeling anything right now. I haven't eaten anything in two days, and I don't even feel hungry, it's strange... I got in trouble today, I stabbed Jamie with a metal fork when he said he could replace you. The adults freaked out about it, he was squirming and crying on the ground. He deserved it. Everyone is treating me extra nice these days, I'm so sick of it. They try to do the things that you used to do for me, it makes me want to scream. I don't want anything, I just want you back.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DHVsYzzcw
I flipped through the next few entries until I found the one that was dated on her birthday. 'Dear Cody, I'm sixteen today, and I had a nervous breakdown at my party earlier. My parents are probably going to up the dosage on my anti-depressants. But that doesn't matter, I've been secretly hiding the pills under my tongue and then spitting them out afterward. Just like you taught me. I waited for you to show up at my party, and I waited for you to ask me for a favour before I blew out the candles. I still haven't blown them out, I'll wait. I screamed at everyone today. I imagined you there, and I imagined you asking me out. I would trade the whole world just for you, the only person I wanted to come to my party was you. Thankfully Kate was there to take care of the aftermath. I bet all the kids at school think I'm crazy now, maybe they're right, maybe I am crazy. I don't care. You were always the crazy one, I'll take up your charge, I'll be extra crazy, enough for the both of us.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP6KO72lRJ
I continued flipping through the entries, skimming the words, and then a particular letter caught my eye. I recognized it all too well. 'Dear Cody, I'm finally able to write this letter to you. These past few months have been hell, my parents got scared after I freaked out at my birthday party. Some doctor put me on a new medication, something about manic depression. I miss you. Let's meet up at our usual place, at sunset.' Oh my God... this can't be happening. My hands shook as I resumed flipping through the book.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1tkYU0OBe
'Dear Cody, I graduated today. Remember what you told me when we first entered high school? You said that after we graduated, you would take me on a trip around the world. To get away from our town and our lives for a while. You said you would work part time and save up for it, and I said I would help. It was going to be just the two of us, walking through the streets of Prague, flying over the Mongol Desert, harassing the locals in Paris, kayaking down the Amazon river, and so much more. That was our four year plan. I kept saving up, even after you left. I'm going to do it, for the both of us. I wish you were here to see me now. I'm not the cry baby you knew anymore, I've grown up.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgJwKhyXYQ
I felt tears roll down my cheeks and drip onto the pages, but they evaporated on contact. Vera went on that trip alone... I can't imagine the kind of pain and sadness she endured... the Vera I knew wouldn't have been able to handle it, but I guess she did grow up like she said. The next few entries described her trip and the places she visited, and every entry ended with, 'I wish you were here.' I'm so sorry Vera, I've let you down in the worst way.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO2F9XZX8U
After her trip, life seemed to have taken over, but she continued to write letters to me, as if keeping a diary. I was near the end of the book now, 'Dear Cody, Kate still hasn't given up on setting me up with the boys she knows. Even though I told her there was no point to it, she doesn't give up. She says that if I can fall in love again, I won't have to feel this pain anymore. I'm grateful to her for all she's done for me through the years, but she just doesn't understand. No one understands me but you Cody. I just realized something... I haven't skipped a day of school in over four years. I think I'm overdue for some time off. What's the point right? I've been finding myself thinking that a lot these days. I've puttered along for four years now, and I'm out of steam. I don't think there's a point to living anymore.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cIslQk25Z
Oh no, please no, don't do this Vera. I flipped through the next few entries in panic, quickly reading through the content, looking for more thoughts of hopelessness, it wasn't until an entry dated a month later that she brought it up again.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBbKKe9MGA
'Dear Cody, I met an old lady named Elanor today. She told me something really interesting. Did you know that when a lovebird dies, its partner gives up on living and dies of depression shortly after? I feel like the only reason that hasn't happened to me yet is because I've been writing you all these letters. I've kept you alive in my heart, for as long as possible. But I'm tired now, I'm so tired... I don't think I have the strength to keep going.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE6cYfyTJ3
I quickly flipped to the next entry. 'Dear Cody, I miss you.' That was all she wrote on that page, the next few had short entries like this one.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcskrkJXCAn
'Dear Cody, I want to see you.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF7QZ3LXE8
'Dear Cody, I want to talk to you.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC3pA8GTMT
'Dear Cody, I want you to hold my hand.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN41hn9jiBs
'Dear Cody, I want to hear you say you love me.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyADGOVVs4p
'Dear Cody, I love you.'16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcjYbwdLPJ
My hand paused as I was about to turn the page, she loves me, Vera loves me. All these years, I wondered why she treated me the way she did, and the answer was so simple. I'm dead. I laughed through my tears. “I'm dead!” I screamed.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSePBWiTV22
“Yes my child, you are.” Elanor replied. “You were taken when you were so young... It was a tragic loss.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgklxAT3kT
I looked down at the book, there was one last entry, but my hand was trembling too hard to turn the page. I took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds. When I calmed down a little, I gathered my will and flipped to the final letter.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEj7tXpvfh
'I’m scared Cody.' It was dated September first.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpu9tQz0ER
“What day is it today?” I asked Elanor.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyxX1eqtA6
“September first my dear.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoVruYE8QV
“Oh no,” I whispered. “I need to get out of here, I need to get to Vera, I need to help her.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUkrDUkBkK
“You can’t,” a voice spoke from behind me.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyvGBWw8Pe
I know that voice, I shut my eyes tightly but the tears wouldn't stop. I felt Vera's arms wrap me in a hug and her head resting on my shoulder. “Why are you here?” I pulled away as I turned to face her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19CA3C5KEy
“God finally granted me my wish.” Vera said.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MPqqS5pa4
“It was a god awful tragedy my dear,” Eleanor shook her head. “You two were born under the wrong stars, fated to be taken early one after the other.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Siq2YWQm
I couldn't find the words to say, and what would be the point? What's done is done. I can't go back and change it. Part of me was just happy to see her, but even that was tainted with guilt. I caused this, whatever happened to me, I died and broke Vera's heart. I've heard stories of people coming back to life from the edge of death by willpower, was I too weak? Was my love for Vera not strong enough to get me through it? Or was I just fated to die that day like Eleanor said? I'm sorry…16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrUmCahYyr
Vera held her hand out, and looked at me expectantly. I looked down at my hands and realized that I was still holding the book. I looked up again and shook my head. Vera's expression slowly changed from her smile to a frown and then a pout. She held her hand out the entire time, inviting me to go with her.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR2CWQCo3Y
I looked at the book in my hand one last time and then set it down on the stand where I first picked it up from. Then, I faced Vera again, this time with a smile.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSL6F1xR6o
“I missed you Vera,” I took her hand and she returned my smile. “I love you Vera.”16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSVSzztvxM
***16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAoMdC9uc5
Eleanor got up from her reading chair and sighed. She had seen many guests in her home, but those two were a special kind of kindred spirit that didn’t come often. The old caretaker picked up Vera’s diary from the floor, her reading room once again empty now that the spirits of the two young lovers had passed on from her care. She carefully placed the book on her shelf, at the end of a half filled row.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcyoFSnLRe
and then Add to home screen.