Campus Cafe - Morning
The morning sun was warm, and the cafe was peaceful. Naila was half-asleep. Fatimah was studying. Wony was checking her reflection. Chima was scrolling through her phone.
Alice was... nowhere to be found.
Chima looked up. "Where's Alice? She's usually the first one here."
Fatimah shrugged. "Maybe she's running late?"
"Alice is never late. She's annoyingly punctual."
Wony looked around. "There she is."
Alice walked in, but she looked different. She was wearing a headscarf, a cross necklace, and a small bracelet with Buddhist prayer beads. She was carrying a prayer mat and a small book.
Chima stared. "Alice. What are you wearing?"
Alice beamed. "I'm embracing ALL religions!"
"You're what?"
"I decided that I want to maximize my chances of getting into heaven! So I'm following every religion!"
"That's... not how religion works."
"It's how MY religion works! I call it 'Alice-ism'!"
Naila opened one eye. "That's not a real religion."
"It's real to me!"89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2dfdHeU3d
Alice sat down and began explaining her system.
"Okay, so here's the plan. I follow Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, and a little bit of everything else!"
Chima blinked. "How do you keep track?"
"I have a schedule!"
She pulled out a notebook. It was filled with colorful charts and timetables.
"Monday: I pray to Allah in the morning, meditate Buddhist-style at noon, and light a menorah in the evening!"
"That's... impressive."
"I know! Tuesday: I go to church, do some yoga, and read the Torah!"
Wony raised an eyebrow. "Do you even understand any of this?"
"Not really! But I'm trying!"
Fatimah shook her head. "Alice, you can't just pick and choose religions like a buffet."
"Why not? It's all about faith, right? And I have A LOT of faith!"
"You have too much faith!"
"There's no such thing!"89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH33V2zXqj
Alice pulled out her notebook and started showing them her daily schedule.
"Okay, so I wake up at 5 AM for morning prayers. Then I have breakfast: halal, kosher, and vegetarian all at once!"
"How do you manage that?"
"I eat toast!"
"That's not halal or kosher!"
"It's toast! It's neutral!"
Chima was losing her mind. "Alice, that's not how any of this works!"
"It's how I make it work!"
Wony looked at the schedule. "You have three different prayer times in the afternoon?"
"Yes! I don't want to miss anyone!"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"I just pray to everything! If there's a god, they'll know what I mean!"
"That's... actually kind of sweet."
"I know! I'm very thoughtful!"
***
Alice decided to demonstrate her practice.
"Okay, I'll show you my morning ritual!"
She placed her prayer mat on the floor and faced Mecca. Then she made the sign of the cross. Then she sat in a meditation pose. Then she chanted something in Hebrew.
Chima stared. "What was that?"
"My all-in-one prayer!"
"That's not a prayer! That's a mishmash!"
"It's a beautiful mishmash!"
Fatimah shook her head. "Alice, I think you're missing the point of religion."
"What's the point?"
"Faith. Belief. And understanding."
"I have all of that!"
"Do you?"
"Yes! I believe that if I do enough things, someone will let me into heaven!"
"That's not how it works!"
"It's how I hope it works!"
***
As the day went on, Alice started running into problems.
"I can't eat this," she said, looking at her lunch. "It's not kosher."
"You just ate kosher yesterday!"
"I'm on a different schedule today!"
"Alice, you're exhausting yourself!"
"I'm dedicated!"
She tried to pray, but she couldn't remember which direction to face.
"Which way is Mecca?"
"That way."
"Okay, but also which way is Jerusalem?"
"Also that way."
"But they're different directions!"
"They're not that different!"
"YES THEY ARE!"
Alice started spinning in circles. "I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY TO FACE!"
Chima grabbed her arm. "Alice, stop!"
"BUT I WANT TO BE SAVED!"
"You're going to make yourself dizzy!"
"I'm already dizzy!"89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uT1r7eAWQ
Alice finally collapsed onto a bench. Her head was spinning. Her schedule was a mess. She had tried to do too much.
"This is hard," she admitted.
Chima nodded. "Yeah. It is."
"How do people do this every day?"
"They choose one religion. And they stick with it."
"But what if I choose wrong?!"
"Then you choose wrong! That's the risk of faith!"
Alice sighed. "I just want to be safe."
Chima sat beside her. "Alice. No one knows what happens after we die. We just have to do our best."
"But what if my best isn't good enough?"
"Then you try again. In the next life."
"But what if there is no next life?!"
"Then you won't know! You'll be dead!"
Alice stared at her. "That's not comforting."
"It's honest."89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplvRWOajfp
Alice was quiet for a long moment. Then she spoke.
"Maybe I'm overthinking this."
"Probably."
"Maybe I should just... choose one."
"That's a good idea."
"But which one?!"
Chima sighed. "Alice, that's up to you. You have to figure that out for yourself."
"But I want you to tell me!"
"I can't! That's not how faith works!"
Alice groaned. "This is so complicated!"
"I know. But you'll figure it out."
Alice looked at her friends. They were all watching her with concern.
"Fine," she said. "I'll think about it."
"That's all we ask."
***
Campus - Night
Alice was walking home with her friends. She was still wearing all her religious items, but she looked more peaceful.
"I think I'm going to take a break," she said.
"A break?"
"From the schedule. It's too much."
Chima smiled. "That's a good idea."
"I'll still be faithful. Just... less chaotic."
"That's all we ask."
Naila walked beside her. "You're still weird, Alice."
"I know. But you love me."
"Debatable."
"Liar!"
They all laughed.
Because even though Alice was chaotic and she tried to follow every religion.
She was still Alice.89Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPjrYH3kuM
and then Add to home screen.