How dare you expect me to carry on when you were always the first to snatch the restraints from my hand? How dare you expect me to love all the things and people and places you loved when the only reason I admired them was when you enamoured them with yourself. The world was but a scene set for you to star in and me to watch.
How dare you say the things you said to me, the promises, the hope, the fairy tales, the unwrapped cook book sitting silent on the counter shelf.
Was I so miniscule for you? So insignificant for you? That you gave up on me, you walked away from me? You left me?
Alone.
You ran and as you sleep so peacefully at night on grounds I know I will never have the courage to visit I sit here, stranded, bare.... frightened.
Is it God I should smite? Will God give me back what he so selfishly took from me?
How you spit out words, sealing them shut with iron clad doors, how dare you leave without letting them loose?
I hate how easy it was for you, did you not believe in consequence?
The seed that you buried deep inside my chest is raging to sprout into a damping willow, consuming the whole of you.
Return to me my sanity
Return to me the soul I used to be
Return to me my ability to look at color and marvel at the shapes and sizes in this world that no longer has you with me.
Return to me, I beg you.
Free me of the torment you threw me in. Take this fire that you left burning, take it and put it out. I fear it will set all around me ablaze.
I am tired of coughing the soot, the raw, undigested truth, the bitter after taste that is yet to leave me, my teeth rot and sizzle with the heat and sourness in my stomach.
How do I spit it out?
Please guide me, take the lead and pull me closer to the peace and chaos you took with you.
Take me to who I used to be before you.
Take me to when God was not my enemy.
Take me to the clear green
Take me so I do not boil over
Till crushing weight that pushes it self onto me, making me sweat, bleed and cry.
Take it away, I fear I will loose the ability to love anyone the way I loved you.
ns216.73.216.216da2
and then Add to home screen.