I woke up later than intended, although that is just another one of those typical human excuses they use when they don’t feel like doing something.
And I suffer from that pretty much chronically.
Or rather, I only woke up because my cat had bumped his head hard against my nose, sat down on my chest, and started meowing terribly.
Because, gosh, the food bowl was empty.
After another meow from Lasagna in my ear, I opened my eyes, sat up, and yawned, while stretching to see what Lasagna was doing. The cat was now sitting on my lap and looking at me with a very expressive look.
Almost as if his servant… or rather, I hadn’t given him food for ages.
“Hello, cat,” I mumbled, still half-asleep, as I reached for my phone, one of the few things I consider a good idea of humanity. It makes communication so much easier than in the eighteenth century. I tapped softly on the screen, which lit up a moment later. It showed the time: a quarter past ten.
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That means I have about two hours left before my shift starts. And I know that might sound very strange to some, but paradoxically, I like my job… Wow… Luk gets satisfaction out of something…
But the truth is that I like this job because I have no contact with people for most of the day and only have to make an announcement every now and then… Although I am sometimes very tempted to tell the whole tram to go to hell, which of course and unfortunately isn’t possible.
For over the ages I have truly discovered that tram driver is the role I was born for… Although that part of me, the innate exorcist, is still there, and maybe, just maybe, I use it sometimes, when necessary, or when I get paid well for it.
Anyway, enough self-pity. I have no choice but to stand up and give the can to the master of the house before he decides that my toes are a good substitute for cat food. So I dropped Lasagna from my lap and went to the kitchen, trying not to trip over my work bag lying on the floor. As soon as I reached the kitchen unharmed, without getting any bruises or falling to the floor, I opened the can of wet food with one hand and grabbed the bag of cereal, which, to my surprise, was still standing there, with the other.
“Okay, I have to go to the store after work.” Meanwhile, I placed the bowl of cat food on the windowsill, and the cat, who had jumped onto the windowsill, started purring contentedly and eating.
I did too, but without purring, of course, while simultaneously scrolling through my phone until I saw a message from someone.
The result was that I first nearly choked on milk, then spat the milk and the half-chewed cereal all over the table, and then had to grab a clean spoon because I had dropped it on the floor in amazement. And what is worse than moving your butt to grab a clean spoon from the drawer? Eating with a spoon full of cat hair on it.
My gaze was fixed on the message, which was already strange because almost no one ever texts me. So, without thinking about it, convinced that it was a lame joke or that I was still partly asleep, I opened the message.
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‘Hey, it’s me, Adara. I just wanted to ask how you’re doing, Lukianos.’
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I held my breath, because no one had ever asked me if I was doing well… At least, not without a reason or a request.
Even in the past, when I bled for others and fought demons, no one had ever asked if I was doing well.
With trembling fingers, I typed the simplest message back to her.
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‘I’m fine, how are you?’
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And for a moment, I really intended to send that message; my finger even hovered over the send button…
“Ugh…”
And instead of sending it, I deleted it. And continued eating my already soaked cereal. Because I knew that in my situation, it wasn’t worth the effort to enter into a relationship; centuries of life had taught me that.
And it actually doesn’t matter if it’s just friendship or more, because love isn’t for someone like me. And I’ve tried it more than once, with exactly two possible outcomes. First of all, if they find out who I really am, they’ll leave, and even if they stayed, I’ll live longer than them anyway and see them die.
So I eventually decided that love wasn’t meant for me.
That’s why most of these kinds of moments are just one-night stands and nothing more.
…
I wouldn’t even recognize their faces if I saw them on the street.
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My phone vibrated again, jolting me out of my thoughts. It was another message from Adara.
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‘If I’m interrupting, I apologize.’
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I sighed deeply and sat still for two minutes, staring at that stupid message.
Such a damn simple message, and yet it was so damn hard for me to process it. Processing meant either I had to reply or just leave it as read only. Eventually, I sighed and replied, which is quite an achievement for me: writing and sending a message. Either I was pressured by my own cat to send it, which is also possible, or I prefer to use Lasagna only as an excuse for the fact that, after all these ages, I might still have a heart.
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‘You’re not bothering me. I’m still alive.’
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Sighing, I placed my phone screen-down, as if that would stop me from looking at it every moment.
To distract myself, I decided to pack my bag for work… although I could only throw a cheese and ham sandwich and a thermos of coffee into my bag that tasted like my misfortunes.
After that, I brushed my teeth and made the most hideous ponytail ever, but as long as he kept me from driving blind, so be it. I put on my work clothes and clumsily tied the red-black-blue scarf around my neck. But as long as wouldn’t fall off, it was fine.
Finally, I grabbed my apartment and tram keys, along with my employee ID card, on which I somehow managed to produce a little smile.
Although I suspect it’s only because they told me I would look like a criminal without a smile…
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And now I look like a criminal trying to pretend everything is fine.
I probably already have everything I need, and if I’ve forgotten something, it means it wasn’t important.
I walked over to Lasagna, who had already fallen asleep on his scratching post, and kissed him on the head. He made a soft “mrr” and stretched out sweetly. “See you in about eight hours, kitty,” I said before closing the door behind me.
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and then Add to home screen.