The second-year Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was packed with students by the time the bell rang. Sunlight streamed through the tall windows, illuminating rows of desks that had been arranged in neat lines facing the professor's platform. The room itself seemed perfectly ordinary. The man standing at the front of it, however, was another matter entirely. Every available wall space had been covered with large portraits of Gilderoy Lockhart. Smiling Lockhart. Winking Lockhart. Heroic Lockhart. Thoughtful Lockhart. There were so many pictures of the professor that the classroom felt less like a place of education and more like a shrine dedicated to his ego. Mira sat beside Draco near the middle of the room while Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Dean, Seamus, and several other students filled the surrounding desks. The atmosphere was one of cautious curiosity. Everyone wanted to know whether Lockhart was actually as impressive as his books claimed.
Lockhart certainly believed he was.
"Welcome, welcome!" he announced brightly, flashing a smile that probably reflected enough light to be classified as a magical hazard. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts!"
Several students exchanged glances.
Draco looked pained already.
Mira felt her patience beginning to erode.
Lockhart continued pacing dramatically across the room.
His robes swirled.
His hair gleamed.
Every movement seemed carefully rehearsed.
"I am Gilderoy Lockhart," he continued. "Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award."
Ron leaned toward Harry, "I bet he practices saying that."
Harry nodded, "Probably in front of a mirror."
Mira bit back a smile.
Unfortunately, Lockhart wasn't finished.
"Now then," he declared, clapping his hands together. "I have prepared a short quiz."
Groans immediately spread throughout the classroom.
Hermione looked delighted.
Everyone else looked less enthusiastic.
Lockhart began distributing parchment sheets down each row, "It's simply a way for me to assess how much you've learned from my books."
Draco picked up his quiz.
His expression immediately darkened.
Mira glanced at hers.
Then blinked.
Every question was about Lockhart.
Not defense.
Not magical creatures.
Not curses.
Just Lockhart.
The quiz appeared to have been designed by someone hopelessly in love with Gilderoy Lockhart.
Which, unfortunately, might have been exactly what happened.
Mira stared at the parchment.
Then slowly looked toward Lockhart.
The professor was smiling proudly.
As though this were perfectly reasonable.
Something inside Mira snapped.
Not dramatically.
Not angrily.
Just enough.
Her teal eyes narrowed slightly.
Beside her, Draco recognized that expression immediately.
"Oh no," he whispered.
Mira never moved.
Never raised a wand.
Never spoke a spell.
Yet her magic flowed silently through the room.
Subtle.
Precise.
Invisible.
The questions on the parchment shimmered briefly.
Nobody noticed.
Not even Lockhart.
Then the transformation was complete.
Students began reading.
The silence lasted approximately five seconds.
Then Seamus Finnigan snorted.
Dean Thomas started coughing.
Neville looked confused.
Ron blinked several times.
Hermione lowered her parchment and stared.
Draco buried his face in one hand.
The quiz now read:
True or False: Professor Lockhart has three nipples?
True or False: Professor Lockhart wears bright pink pajamas with tiny hearts?
True or False: Professor Lockhart keeps a vial of his own "heroic tears" as a potion ingredient?
True or False: Professor Lockhart refused to fight a vampire unless someone fixed his hair first?
True or False: Professor Lockhart sings like a banshee?
True or False: Professor Lockhart's most heroic deed involved a confused Puffskein and a broom closet?
True or False: Professor Lockhart once mistook a Fwooper for a fan trying to compliment him?
True or False: Professor Lockhart thinks Expelliarmus is pronounced "Ex-pelly-hair-me-us"?
True or False: Professor Lockhart sleeps with a framed picture of himself on his bedside table?
True or False: Professor Lockhart once tried to duel a Boggart and lost?
True or False: Professor Lockhart attempted to autograph a Howler before it exploded?
True or False: Professor Lockhart once tried to duel a mirror because he thought the reflection was a dark wizard copying him?
True or False: Professor Lockhart dances to the Can Can song while wearing women's clothing?23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35OjHi8thi
The room descended into chaos.
Students were laughing.
Actually laughing.
Several nearly fell out of their chairs.
Ron had tears in his eyes.
Dean was hiding behind his parchment.
Seamus looked incapable of breathing normally.
Even Neville was laughing.
Hermione was trying very hard not to.
Lockhart finally noticed.
His smile faltered, "What's so amusing?"
Nobody answered immediately.
That made him suspicious.
He walked toward the nearest desk.
Picked up a quiz.
Read the first question.
Then the second.
Then the third.
His face turned bright red, "What?!"
The laughter intensified.
"These aren't my questions!"
He grabbed another quiz.
Then another.
Then another.
Every single parchment displayed the same absurd list.
Lockhart looked horrified, "None of these are true!"
That declaration only made things worse.
Because the students were no longer looking at the quizzes.
They were looking behind him.
Lockhart frowned.
Slowly.
Confused.
The classroom had fallen silent.
Students stared past him with wide eyes.
Ron pointed.
Seamus pointed.
Dean pointed.
Hermione blinked.
Even Harry looked stunned.
Lockhart turned around.
And froze.
Standing atop the professor's platform was another Gilderoy Lockhart.
A perfectly lifelike magical illusion.
This version wore an outrageously bright pink dress trimmed with lace and ribbons.
A massive feathery fan rested in one hand.
The illusion smiled dramatically.
Then music erupted through the classroom.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!
The unmistakable strains of The Infernal Galop filled the room.
The Can Can.
Students immediately lost all remaining self-control.
The illusionary Lockhart began dancing.
High kicks.
Spins.
Flourishes.
Perfectly executed theatrical movements.
The feathery fan snapped open dramatically.
The pink skirt swirled.
The illusion twirled across the platform with astonishing enthusiasm.
The classroom exploded with laughter.
Harry was doubled over.
Ron couldn't breathe.
Seamus had slid halfway out of his chair.
Dean was pounding the desk.
Even Hermione had abandoned all attempts at composure.
Neville looked simultaneously horrified and delighted.
Draco had surrendered completely.
He was openly crying with laughter.
The illusionary Lockhart performed another spinning kick.
Then another.
Then dramatically posed.
The fan fluttered.
The music swelled.
The real Lockhart stood frozen.
Utterly speechless.
His mouth opened.
Closed.
Opened again.
No words emerged.
The contrast between the real professor and his dancing duplicate made the scene even more ridiculous.
"THAT IS NOT ME!" Lockhart finally shouted.
The illusion immediately struck another dramatic pose.
The music continued.
Students laughed harder.
The portraits of Lockhart along the walls appeared deeply offended.
One even covered its eyes.
Another shook its head disapprovingly.
Lockhart spun in circles trying to determine who was responsible.
No wand had been raised.
No spell had been spoken.
Nothing pointed toward a culprit.
Mira sat calmly at her desk.
Looking mildly curious.
As though she were witnessing the spectacle for the first time.
Draco refused to look at her.
Because if he did, he would start laughing again.
The illusionary Lockhart executed one final magnificent kick.
Then bowed deeply.
The music reached its climax.
The pink dress sparkled.
The fan fluttered.
And with a burst of pink sparkles, the entire illusion vanished.
Silence followed.
Briefly.
Then the classroom erupted into applause.
Actual applause.
Lockhart looked ready to faint.
Meanwhile, Mira quietly folded her altered quiz and placed it on her desk. The lesson had been scheduled to begin fifteen minutes earlier. Somehow, despite all of Lockhart's preparation, the students had learned absolutely nothing about Defense Against the Dark Arts. On the other hand, they had learned quite a lot about the dangers of excessive self-importance. Mira privately considered that a worthwhile educational outcome.
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and then Add to home screen.