Chapter IX: The Sanctuary
"Saul! Saul! Why persecutes thou me?!", a moving painting cries in front of me.
I jolt and wake up from my dream. It's so weird yet I continue to sit up from my bed.
I check my phone, no classes again. I feel an urge to go to Vigan today and to take me back to the past. My parents always asked me, "What will you do in Vigan then?", and they would assume that I'd be seeing that skank Maldita. But of course, I'm not
Exploring Vigan alone gives you an amazing experience. For starters, travel back to the past. Going through Calle Crisologo gives you a vibe if travelling back because of the old houses and the cobblestoned streets. Two, it's the center of religion and theology. Vigan, despite two churches, is renowned for the devotion of the Our Lady of the Rosary of La Naval, the Jesus Nazareno (Oldest in Northern Luzon), St. Paul, Immaculate Conception, Sto. Cristo Milagroso, and more. There are many more reasons, but these are the highlights for this one. These are my reasons to go to Vigan, and to carry out some errands.
I get ready, and put on my outfit. Of course, not like a grand outfit, but it's just a simple outfit. I go out of the house, and hail a tricycle preferably the ones with the plate number, VGN.
About 5 minutes later, I arrive in Vigan, exactly at the southern side of Plaza Burgos. One might think I'm gonna go for a hot choco at 7/11. However, that's just a misconception or misdirection if I should say. I walk beside the Vigan Cathedral, still full of cracks from the 2022 Northen Luzon Earthquake. I go in front of the cathedral, and I still see the cracks in front of it, reinforced with a large steel buttress-like structure holding up the façade.
"When will it be restored to its former glory?", I ask in my mind.
I walk to the northern door of the cathedral, the other side if I must say. I enter the door, and the door is always open, except if it gets really late.
As I enter, I look above the length of the northern portal, still full of reinforcements, reinforcing the brick arcs and wooden curved ceilings. I go inside, and I dip my fingers in the Holy Water bowl, and make the sign of the cross with it. I go to the center, and see the ceilings, which still have punctures, and dirty watermarks on them.
Thus, I approach the front of the main altar and see its glory, unscathed and undamaged by the earthquake. I see the old Nazareno of Vigan, ensconced in it. I pause and I genuflect in reverence to the Lord. I walk to the pews right of the aisle, near the church organ.
I put down my umbrella, and sling bag on the pew, and I begin to kneel. Every time I go to Vigan, I do this as a thanksgiving to God. Why do thou ask?
The Vigan Cathedral is my 'ayuyang' church. A place where every Sunday, I go with my parents. It's a place of reverence where I felt joy, sadness, penance, and comfort.
Most teenagers often divert their problems by drinking, smoking, vaping, going out with friends, ranting on social media, just the nasty stuff, or others. Like in the song verse,
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mama Mary comes to me"
I'm deeply following it. However, instead of coming to me, I come to them all at their house.
When I was troubled and was still with the devil Maldita, I often see Him at the cathedral. The Lord is my comfort, where I can vent out to. He is the Lord, the one who sheds light to the troubled, to the hopeless, to the depressed, and to those who seek refuge.
"How do you classify Prayer? Is it intrapersonal, or interpersonal?", Sir Cen asked Tyler back in our Grade 11 days.
Then, I took the floor with a very confusing answer. Little did I know that I would really soon unravel the answer to that simple yet complex question. In prayer, you speak wholeheartedly to the Lord. You vent, you seek refuge, and seek forgiveness. God may not answer like how He did with the prophets, but He answers in simple ways. What simple ways? Your prayer will be answered shortly, bit by bit as time will pass. Believe that a miracle will be given to you.
When you pray, the communication between man and God is dynamic. Anthropologists would see it as an act of speaking to oneself. Atheists might also too. But as Christians, believe that there is a god that listens to your problems. God is there to lend a helping hand. That is why, when we are in the mass, we say the statement, "Lord, Hear Our Prayer". So that God will hear them. God sees your struggles, you are not alone. For the Lord said,
"I will be at your side, and I will never leave you"
It's because His Spirit is always living in us.
I would say particularly because in the theological analogy of sin. Then-father president of my previous alma matter, who was also our Religious Education (REED) teacher, taught us what would lead mankind astray from God. That would be sin. Sin can be washed if you repent. Repent not just with the mind, but the entirety of mind, body, soul, and heart.
I was in that kind of state, graceless, and astray from God. I lied to my parents, sinned with lust by a devilish girl. I didn't know that I pursued the path of darkness which have blinded me until I tripped. I thought I was really done for, but an event changed everything. Family, the word that made me define what would it be. Like the Holy Family, it's like I see daylight for the first time in a while, but not fully yet. I see that my parents were right, and so, I decided to broke free from the chains that have bounded me.
Afterwards, that light made me free. However, I would still recover from the damages, like a country that fought in a world war. Debris scattered, and dictatorial stuff should be cleared. All things related to her shall be buried beneath the earth. Her files and documents are already eradicated. Then, I begin to move some debris, I see the altar in ruins. It's covered in dust, dirt, and filth. I began to clean them.
I came back, because of that light. The light of truth, and that is made possible by none other than the Almighty God. He is the One to lead, to let people seek through. I dubbed it, a miracle that guided me back to the first people who loves me, and that is my family. I chased the wrong person, yet God has His own way to guide me back to the right way.
That is why, every time I go to the cathedral, or any church, is an act of reverence, a genuflect, and thanksgiving towards Him. By my parents' prayers, they were granted. Thus, I converted back to my old self, the Mar that they really know. Saul, converted to Christianity and became St. Paul, the patron saint of Vigan City. The same goes for the neighboring Bantay, whose patron saint is St. Augustine. St. Augustine converted from a lavish lifestyle to life of penance, prayer, and philosophy.
He has given me an opportunity, He shows me the right path. The same may also goes with my ties with the choir. The toxicity in there, most people might say that it's decision or something inexplicable. However, I see it as freedom. I broke free from people of toxicity. I still wanted to serve in the choir, but some connections and relationships of my seniors there, are toxic and crucial, that is why I never wanted to serve in a toxic environment, especially toxicity disguised entering the sacred house of God.
Serving God in a form of thanksgiving, a covenant with Him and His will, which I noted back then from being an altar server, choir, commentator, and now as an organist. How did I even became one? That's a good question.
For a short time, I didn't went to serve because I already went away from them. But I frequently went to church on Sundays with my family, until one day, there's a calling. As I write this thing, I could be tearful as ever. The calling for an organist/pianist for a choir, and I never gave a doubt or be skeptical about it. And so, I signed up via Sir Jack, who is the head of pastoral choirs, and I became one. Sing to the Lord a new song, and praise Him.
I was once lead astray from Him, but I convert back and repented.
I conclude my prayer, and make the sign of the cross. I sit back against the pew, gazing at Apo Nazareno at the Retablo Mayor of the cathedral. Then, I pick up my belongings, and as I approach the center aisle, I genuflect and made my way to the side altar. There I see the Santo Entierro, the dead Christ. I put my hand on the image, and prayed. Then, another thought captures my mind again.
When I went to Bantay Church, I think it was years ago, but the ceilings are already done and adorned in Gothic style. I wanted to explore the church since if I remember correctly, that was the Feast of La Correa (The Belt) of Apo Caridad. There were no people, let alone just me, and my mother, a few tourists left at the shrine as the grand procession were out. I was curious of the room of the nave. When I entered it, I saw the Santo Entierro. The atmosphere and ambiance is silent, no windows, and just one entrance. The area is bricked and small. I prayed, but I felt fear, a fear that maybe the life-like Santo Entierro may come alive and stand.
In our REED, we learned two fears. Serville and Filial. However, Filial fear makes more of its own highlight. Filial fear is the fear of the Lord. You fear of what you do that may offend God. I was with it, until the path of darkness. And now, it comes back to me as God guided my back to the light.
At that very moment, when I was in that ancient-like, I felt goose-bumps, so solemn. I then concluded my prayer and went out of the room.
I put my hands that touched the image to my forehead and my heart. Then, before I go out of the cathedral, still at the aisle, I genuflect and go out. Seeing the reinforcements and scaffoldings, the cathedral is recovering now and I hope and pray for it to be finished and will return back to its former glory.
Back when the earthquake struck, July 27, 2022; me and my mother was inside the store as the ground felt like water, like a combination of Rayleigh and Love waves. I think, I had an agenda that day and was preparing to go out.
The following Sunday after the earthquake, we went to see the cathedral and it was damaged. No reinforcements yet but façade was still cracked. Undermining the process that would take about maybe a decade, the church's design is heavily earthquake Baroque style and engineers and restorers must take in precaution to replicate and fabricate the same materials used for the façade, walls, and columns to maintain antiquity and heritage.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I go to 7/11 Plaza and have a cup of hot choco. Cracks as scars and bruises will heal, thus we heal and recover. We sin, we repent, and we fear. It reminds me that God provides, and not just that. God answers a person's prayer in meticulous and mysterious ways.
Looking at the cracked and damaged flying buttresses of the cathedral, I see that the house of God might be ruined, but the church isn't. The cathedral have been damaged, but many are still going inside. Those who believe, those who repent, those who seeks comfort and refuge, still go there. It is because, they are welcomed inside the church. People who respects the sanctity and holiness of the church are welcome. The cathedral or any parish is the structure of the Lord's dwelling, and the church is the people. As we gather inside it, the universal language spoken unto us, as we profess our faith and worship God in His house.
The cathedral is also beacon and symbol of history. Though it is the third structure after some natural disasters, it withstood time and witnessed the events of the past. The adobe blocks that holds the structure, as well as the bricks, lime, and mortar used, witnessing everything in the city starting from the day it was built. As I say again, we believe, we sinned, we repent, we convert, and go back to Him. It's like what the song Hosea and the prophet with the same name said.
"Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us. He has injured us, but He will bind up our wounds." (Hosea 6:1)
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