As soon as it was late at night, I came back from the gym and got to work. I checked my messages, and I saw that there were countless messages about love problems. Because of this, I felt it was time to make a live appearance. I called it “live,” but really, I had my face edited out because I didn’t want people to see who it was. I usually make jokes, but I have to be careful when it’s a sensitive topic.
“What’s up, everybody? Hope you’re doing well. I guess some ladies out there are being a little on you guys again. Why can’t we all just get along? Guys, let ladies take charge for a while, and ladies, don’t be too harsh—you know we’re not too smart, but we’re entertaining to have around. I have a good Bible verse on the topic.”
Now it’s time to look through some more of my messages. I kept going through messages like this, with people wanting to chat about things like studying or strict parents—stuff like that. I try to do whatever I can, but honestly, I’m not sure I can help everybody. I just like to help people when I can.
While I was doing that, I suddenly had a question that caught me off guard. Someone started talking about having problems at home with their parents. That hit a little too hard for me, and I told him I would have an answer for him later.
Ironically, not long after I was done, I got the usual text from my parents asking if I was studying, and I gave a little white lie and said yes because I was too tired. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I really didn’t feel like dealing with them right now.
“I wonder what it’s like to have a perfect relationship with your parents? If I knew the answer, I would give myself advice.”
That night, I said my prayers and started wondering if I did the right thing. I realized that I could always think about that later, because for now I just wanted to
The sun was shining, everyone was excited, and I was worried about being late, as usual. Luckily, the professors didn’t care that much, but mine always seemed to care a lot. On my way to class, I saw a couple of people I knew and said hi, but my mind was too occupied to engage in a deep conversation with them.
“Hey man, are you going to that meeting tomorrow?” Sam asked.
I awkwardly said, “Sure, maybe if I’m not too busy.” I could tell from his face that wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but I really couldn’t afford to spend too much time going out. Sensing his disappointment, I tried smiling and said, “Hey, I look forward to seeing you again sometime.” It seemed he could tell I was making an effort because he brightened up and said, “Sure, I’ll see ya!”
As soon as Sam was gone, someone bumped into me and said, “Hey, look who it is?” I instantly felt dread when I realized it was Jim and said hi.
“Hey man, why are you always ignoring me? I thought we were friends?” Jim said.
I wanted to tell him that I don’t remember ever making friends with him, but instead I just apologized and told him I was in a hurry. I knew full well that he liked to pick on people on a regular basis, and for some reason he tries to act friendly at the same time. If he was just a bully, it’d be a lot easier, but I can’t find the courage to outright say I want nothing to do with him.
When I was heading back to my dorm, I ended up running into Kat, the girl that I got along with, and I instantly shrunk back. She was so excited to see me that before I knew it, she was closer than I’m used to.
“Hey man, good to see you,” Kat said.
All I could muster was, “Thank you, you too.” What is up with Kat, and why can’t I talk to her straight?
I was like, “Yeah, I’m doing good, except for the usual homework, haha.” I guess that was good enough because she laughed at what I said.
“I think you should go to that blogger guy if you want help with that. I heard he’s good at fixing problems,” Kat said.
As soon as she said that, it’s like something shrank inside of me. Should I tell her that this popular guy online is actually me? Would she believe me? Would she be disappointed? All of these questions popped into my mind at once.
Finally, I just mustered, “Yeah, maybe I’ll do that. I’ve heard he’s pretty good at that.” I was afraid she would keep bringing that up, but she quickly changed the subject and asked, “Are you going to the meeting?” I felt a strange feeling of disappointment and relief at the same time.
Even though I told Sam I would only show up if I had time, something felt weird in the pit of my stomach, and I decided to come after all.
“Yeah, I’ll be there!”72Please respect copyright.PENANAQYuMW61jog
“Awesome, I’ll see you there!” Sam replied.
I answered before I even thought about it.
My brother sent me a text saying I need to get out more. “Why are you always locked up in your dorm? You’re so weird, dude, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.” He really has a way with words. He says I should be friends with Jim, but I just can’t.
Later on, I ended up at the party and was able to find a group with Fern and some other guys I knew. They were glad to see me, but honestly, I was more interested in finding Kat.
“Hey, are you okay? You’ve been staring off in the distance for a while,” one of them said.
I suddenly turned around, embarrassed, and was like, “Oh, sorry—what were you talking about?” I tried my best to smile at the same time. Luckily, it looked like he was just going to laugh it off, but that was when Jim showed up.
“Hey man, you actually made it. Thought you’d be at home,” Jim said.
Even though he was smiling, I could sense the slight diss when he said that. I decided to swallow my retort and said back to him, “Hey Jim, thought I’d get out for a change of pace.”
“A change of pace?” Suddenly, he started laughing like crazy and tried to get everyone to join him. “Can you believe this guy trying to act like he’s so cool?”
I was a little surprised when he said that and tried to correct him, but he interrupted and said, “Hey, even shut-ins have to get out sometime.”
When he said that, a feeling that I’ve long suppressed suddenly boiled inside of me, and I retorted, “Better than being a dang people pleaser like you. You’re not even funny, dude.” I said that with a smile and laughed, even though I knew nobody would laugh with me.
Jim did not look happy, though, and walked up to me, saying, “Hey, you think you can take that back? Everyone can see you’re the weird one here. And you really don’t want to see me lose it, man.”
I got even more mad after that comment and shouted, “Then why don’t you go ahead and try, dude? Huh?!”
I pushed him with all my might as an effort to challenge him, but to my surprise, he ended up falling backward and went face-first into the food table, sending everything crashing down.
I tried apologizing, but the damage was already done, and all I could do was leave. Later on, Jim asks for advice from my alter ego.
72Please respect copyright.PENANAlBvblOiE1m
72Please respect copyright.PENANAudCnzyjZwP


