The Secret We Never Told - Porcelain mask. | Penana

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The Secret We Never Told - Porcelain mask. | Penana

The Secret We Never Told

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The Secret We Never Told

ENTRY #4

Author:

savandler

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

The Secret We Never Told

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

ENTRY #4

Porcelain mask.

Author:

savandler

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

2 Mins Read

504 Words

I hurt,

I drown,

I suffocate myself.

I plaster on a face no one looks behind,

A porcelain mask so fragile that my tears stain it.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf2csBvmMM

You lied.

You said forever,

Even when I avoided it,

Knowing we’re too young for forever.

Why’d you make me love you?

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel6euYUCfR

I stand and stare,

My reflection a macabre version of my mask.

The mask cracked,

Blood trickling through.

The shards of porcelain stabbing,

Cutting.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tpMFYb7Jl

I watch the blood trickle from my nose,

a beautiful river of red.

I watch more sprout from my chest.

I turn in the mirror and there they are,

All of their knifes.

Each person’s intricate and unique.

Each person with their own knife.

And I love it.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqF8gDXZD3d

I hate being a people pleaser,

Hate loving people.

I hate it because I can’t ever hurt someone.

I can’t say goodbye,

I’ll tie myself down,

I’ll hurt myself,

But I’ll never leave.

I’ll watch myself cry,

I’ll feel you slip away,

Yet I’ll still stay.

I’ll always stay.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHXrezLAop

I stayed with you,

I loved you.

You said you weren’t ready.

Your friend said you were relieved.

Was I that bad?

Was I bad enough that you felt pressured?

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWHSqlJaaB

I hate you.

But I don’t,

Not really.

I hate myself for letting it happen,

For giving you the most intricate knife.

Wrought iron roses and hearts adorn the handle,

And the blade protrudes from my heart.

You stabbed it,

And I let you.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vMJHMN8Uw

I smile and say I’m doing fine.

I’m not,

I cry each night,

I whisper each night,

I wonder why.

Why I wasn’t good enough?

Why I was too much?

Why I had to love you?

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEyC0Wulst

I scream inside,

The porcelain muting the sound.

No one hears it,

No one sees it,

No one realizes I’m bleeding out.

No one sees the body they step over,

The body that’s barely breathing.

And I hate it,

Because it’s my fault.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzp9sG5NLM

Do they care?

What if I just don’t show up?

Would they care?

If I bleed out and rotted in the street,

Would any of them care?

Would any of them notice?

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUNaCqy8h0

I sit,

Watching myself in the mirror.

I pick the porcelain pieces back up,

Rinsing them off,

Watching the water turn red.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOSKx0oyD8

You’re queen,

That’s what you called me.

You said I should’ve left you,

I didn’t listen,

I should’ve.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer5j6htX5t

I glue the pieces of porcelain back together,

The cracks disappearing.

The idea of me being broken,

Erased completely.

I hold the mask up in my hand,

And I dip a brush in a container of red,

And I paint a smile.

I fit the mask back to my face,

Hiding the pain,

The fear,

The anguish,

The knifes.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmO48VvXix

It disappears in a blink,

I’m smiling,

I’m listening,

I’m laughing.

22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjaS6nG6jt

I step on stage,

I say my line,

”I’m fine.”

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