April 1st
Vancouver International Airport, 7:30 am
Cassy Morton had been working at the airport for fifteen years now. Shortly after she had left the orphanage where she had grown up, she had found this job, thanks to Father Thomas’s help, and she had never left it. She worked at the cafeteria in the departures lounge. It was sometimes a hard job, but, since she had got married five years before, she had started working part time. Her husband Daniel worked in a factory not far from the city, and she liked the idea of being able to spend as much time as possible with him. Eighteen months before she had had a beautiful baby girl, and she had just gone back to work. She missed her little daughter, while she was working, but she knew that her salary was necessary to make ends meet.
The day before, she had received a phone call from Neil McKinley. They had grown up together at the orphanage, she had gone to the ceremony when he had become a police officer, and he had gone with Carol to Cassy’s wedding. Carol had been able to come out of the rehab center just for her wedding, and she had been glad to see her much better. All the girls in the orphanage had always envied Carol, because she had the most handsome boyfriend. He was not only incredibly attractive, but it was evident that he loved Carol immeasurably, he was always caring to her.
Cassy was two years younger than Carol and Neil. She had lost her mother when she was three years old. She had never known who her father was. As soon as she had entered the orphanage, she had immediately made friends with Carol. Neil had just arrived, and he was still sad and solitary.
She still remembered how many times Carol and she had tried to distract Neil, to draw him away from that window. Little by little he had realized that his mother wouldn't go back to him, and he had started to enjoy the company of the other boys and girls. He had immediately grown fond of Carol, a lively child, always smiling and joyful. That affection had changed into mutual love, when they had become teenagers. Cassy had always been their best friend, and they had spent a lot of time together.
When they had left the orphanage, they had kept in touch, but she had noticed that Carol was more and more restless and slippery. She seldom answered the phone, and, when Cassy asked her if anything was wrong, she gave elusive answers. After a while she had completely disappeared. Cassy still remembered the anguished look on Neil's face…
Now Cassy arrived at work a little earlier, because her shift would start in an hour. Neil had insisted on meeting her before leaving Vancouver. She knew what he wanted to talk about, and she knew that she couldn't tell him anything reassuring or comforting. She couldn't help admiring his love and his devotion for Carol. After three years, after everything he had done for her, after she had left him once again without any explanation, he still kept looking for her, he still kept hoping she would come back to him.
She looked around the departure lounge. It was almost deserted. A plane had just left for Quebec city, and now just a few people were sitting and reading the newspaper or drinking coffee. A colleague waved at her from the counter of the cafeteria.
“Hi, Cassy. Why are you so early?”
“Hi, Juliet. I am waiting for a friend.”
“Would you like something to drink, while you are waiting?...” Juliet didn't finish the sentence, and Cassy noticed that her friend was looking beyond her at someone approaching. She said in a low voice: “Wow, Cassy. If that's the friend you are waiting for, you have to introduce me to him… I hope he is not married…”
Cassy turned, and she saw Neil coming towards her with a smile on his face. She had often gone out with him, and she was used to the fact that every woman turned to look at him with evident admiration. He was wearing blue jeans and a checked shirt. He never wore elegant clothes, but his athletic figure and his blue eyes made him look smart and attractive even in casual clothes. Cassy noticed that Neil was one of those men, who became even more charming as years went by. She had known him since he was a child, and he had always been a handsome boy, but maturity had given him a composed, wise look that made him even more attractive.
She embraced him, conscious of her colleague’s curious look. She turned to her and said: “Juliet, this is my friend Neil. We grew up together in the orphanage…”
Neil shook hands with Juliet, who was staring at him with wide eyes. After a few moments, she exclaimed: “Now I remember where I have seen you. You are agent Neil McKinley, the hero who was given an award by the Governor last Christmas.” She turned to her friend and said: “You have never told me that you knew a celebrity and a national hero.” She looked at the embarrassed face of Neil and said: “Newspapers and magazines talked a lot about you! It’s a pleasure to meet you in person, agent McKinley!”
Neil was evidently uneasy, but he smiled politely, while Cassy hastened to say: “He is Inspector McKinley now!”
Neil looked at Juliet and said simply: “I am just Neil. Nice to meet you, Juliet!”
Juliet was called by some customers and went back to her job.
Neil and Cassy sat down at one of the tables of the cafeteria, and Cassy said: “It’s a pleasure to see you… How is everything going on in New Brunswick?”
Neil smiled and leaned back in his chair. He said: “I am fine, the job at the training center is interesting, and I must say that I have found a little community there, and they have made me feel at home. I have also found a children's basketball team to train…”
“And your leg?” Cassy knew that, in the gunfight that had earned Neil his medal, he had been seriously wounded in his left calf, and he had undergone two long and difficult operations.
“My leg is recovering, even if sometimes, especially when I have to sit all day, it gives me trouble, but I can't complain…” he looked at his friend and asked: “How is your wonderful child? I haven't seen her since her baptism…”
Cassy took out her mobile phone and turned the screen towards Neil. He took her phone and scrolled through the photos of a beautiful little child with blond hair and dark eyes. He smiled tenderly, and, after a few moments, he gave the phone back to Cassy, saying: “She is really gorgeous. When I talked to you, before leaving Vancouver, you were worried about going back to work. Can you manage your job and your family?”
Cassy thought that Neil was really a remarkable man. He always listened to other people's problems, and he never forgot if someone told him about his or her concerns.
“Yes, I was really concerned that I would miss my Helen… But I have been working part time. A friend of mine has offered to look after Helen, while I am working, and … Dan is wonderful, and he adores our daughter. He does everything to support me.”
Juliet came nearer and asked gently: “Would you like something to drink, Insp… Neil? Cassy?”
Neil ordered a coffee and Cassy an orange juice. Juliet came back with their drinks in a few moments.
Neil put the sugar into his coffee and began to stir distractedly. Now it was time to get to the point. Cassy was looking at him, clearly knowing what he wanted to talk about.
Neil cleared his throat uneasily and started:
“Cassy, I know you haven't heard from Carol since she disappeared once again, three years ago…”
“Neil, you know I would have told you immediately if she had tried to contact me, but … no, I don't know where she is, and none of our friends does, I can assure you…” It was painful to look into the troubled anguished face of the handsome man in front of her.
Neil shook his head sadly. He had decided not to show Cassy the photo of Amy, at least for the time being. But he had to know if maybe Carol had told her something…
After a few silent moments, he raised his eyes to look at his friend and said, trying to keep his voice steady: “Cassy, I have to know something very very important. When Carol came back to me, more or less seven years ago, when she went to that rehab center… did she tell you anything about the period before, when she had disappeared, and she didn't even answer the phone?”
Before Cassy could reply, he added: “I asked her many times, but she simply said that she had made a lot of mistakes, that she had acted on an impulse, that she had felt lost when I started to be busy with my job, and I wasn't always at her side… She never explained further, and … to tell you the truth, I didn't know at the time if I wanted to learn more …”
Cassy looked into the anguished eyes of her friend, and she felt a profound pity for this man, who was stubbornly waiting for the love of his life to go back to him.
She said, choosing her words carefully: “No, Neil. I often went to visit her in the rehab center, but she never told me anything about those years. She explicitly told me that she preferred to forget everything about it … She admitted to her mistakes, but …” Cassy knew that what she was going to tell Neil could only make him suffer. She knew that Carol had not had the courage to confess to Neil what she had told her…
Neil was looking at her expectantly. Cassy debated within herself whether to tell him or not, but Neil was intelligent and extremely sensitive, and there was no way to hide the truth from him…
She went on: “Neil, I don't know if I ought to tell you this, but … I told Carol immediately that she was wrong, that it was just an excuse to leave you and put the blame on you …” Now it was Carol's turn to look anguished and on the verge of tears, because the memory of that conversation with Carol and of her friend's harsh words pervaded her with sadness and a feeling of helplessness. At that time, she thought she had been able to convince her friend of the absurdity of what she was saying, but …
Neil was still waiting patiently for her to go on. He said encouragingly: “Cassy, don't worry. I know she tried to blame me, to say that I had preferred my job to her…”
Cassy sighed and said: “Neil, what she told me had nothing to do with your job … Yes, she said that she had asked you to leave your job and to work with her in a bar, but she had immediately realized that becoming a policeman had been your dream since you were a child … No, Neil, what she told me … Oh, I told her immediately that it was absurd … She told me that she resented the fact that you had decided to look after Billy, when he came into the orphanage.”
Neil was shaking his head disbelievingly: “But I thought she had overcome that sense of jealousy. We had discussed it many times, because she was always rude to Billy. Father Thomas talked to her more than once, telling her that Billy needed a person who could guide him, and that I had never neglected her. I can't believe that, even when she was trying to get clean in that rehab center, she still thought that Billy was the cause of our breakup… No, she was too intelligent to give in to that jealousy. She could not be jealous of a poor boy, who had come to the orphanage when we were teenagers …”
Cassy was looking at the troubled face of Neil, and her heart went out to him. What had led Carol far from this wonderful loving man? What had lured her into a world of drugs and vices, when she had a happy life in front of her, next to a caring charming man?
“Neil, I wouldn't have told you, but do you remember that, when she was in the rehab center, Billy went frequently to visit her? That he was always so kind to her? That he even went to pick her up when she came to dinner with us?” Neil was silently nodding, “One day I saw him leaving, while I was going to see her. He had evidently been crying, and you know that Billy seldom cries. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that it was all useless, that Carol would never love him, that he had to disappear from your life if he wanted you and Carol to stay together…” Neil was watching her with wide eyes, and he had clearly difficulties holding back the tears.
He said in a faint voice: “Billy has never told me anything, but I remember that he chose to go to the ERT academy in Edmonton, instead of Vancouver. For a while he stayed far from me, but I thought he just wanted to prove that he didn't need my guidance any more …”
“Neil, you know it was only an excuse, because your affection for Billy had nothing to do with her decision to leave you, but she used such nasty words, saying that he had decided to become a policeman like you, so that he would always be near you… that she wanted him to leave you alone…”
Neil shook his head slowly and commented bitterly: “She never had the courage to say these things to my face, because she knew I would have reacted. And Billy has never said a word, because he knew he would make me suffer. He never told me when she treated him rudely at the orphanage. I learnt it from Father Thomas …”
For a few moments, the two friends remained silent, absorbed in their thoughts. Cassy put a hand on Neil’s arm, and she broke the silence: “But Neil, you must never think you did something wrong, because every woman would want a man like you, always attentive, always caring … And I am sure that, wherever she is, she knows that she is the one to blame… Maybe she is ashamed, and she doesn't dare come back to you …”
“But she knows that I will always forgive her, if she says she still loves me …” Neil’s voice was anguished, and he looked away for a few moments, in order to regain his composure.
After a few minutes he decided to go straight to the point. He looked at his friend, and he asked: “Cassy, has Carol ever talked to you about a child she may have had more or less ten years ago?” Cassy gasped, and her eyes widened in disbelief. “A child?”, she asked.
“I didn't know anything about her at that time, she didn't answer my phone calls … Cassy, don't be afraid of hurting me … I MUST know!” He added with emphasis.
Cassy looked at him for a few minutes and said: “No, Neil. She has never talked to me about a child. Oh, but she would have surely told you when she came back to you… She knew how much you love children, she knew that you would never have refused to take care of a baby, even if it wasn't yours … No, Neil, I know that some of our friends saw her with bad guys, criminals and drug dealers in that period, but … a child? No, Carol, the Carol I knew and loved, would never have stooped so low ….” The more Cassy thought about what Neil had asked her, the more she refused to accept it. “Why do you ask? You know she had a baby?” She was looking at him disbelievingly.
Neil just shook his head. He saw that Cassy didn't know anything about Amy, and he decided not to press her further, also because this conversation was becoming too painful for him. Maybe Father Thomas was right when he told him that he should go on with his life and stop looking for Carol, but …. In his heart he kept on hoping she would go back to him, that she certainly had a reason for disappearing, that she was not free to go back to him … And that phone call, last September … He kept on replaying it in his mind … Her voice sounded anguished and frightened… Why had she called him? What did she want to tell him? And why had they been cut off?
Neil said, while he was standing up to leave: “Cassy, I am sorry. I know that you have your life, your family, and I didn't want to trouble you with my anxiety for Carol …”
Cassy stood up and embraced him affectionately. She said in a soft voice: “Don't worry, Neil. I often think of Carol. And I am worried about you, because you can't go on living your life with this constant apprehension, always waiting and hoping she will come back to you…” She looked into the blue eyes of the Inspector and added affectionately: “I am sorry, I know it is not easy, but you have to try to go on with your life …”
“Father Thomas keeps telling me the same thing, but … Cassy, I can't help thinking that maybe she is somewhere in danger, and she is prevented from contacting me …”
He tried to smile, when he told Cassy: “Give a kiss to little Helen for me, will you? And promise to call me if you come to the east coast. Dan has got relatives in Toronto, hasn't he?”
“Yes, and I would like to visit Toronto … Keep in touch, Neil, and say hello to Billy for me. I hope he will forgive me for telling you about his visit to Carol…”
“Thanks for coming early this morning, and thanks for your support, Cassy…”
Cassy watched that tall handsome man walk away with slumped shoulders and downcast gaze, and she thought that Carol’s main fault was making Neil suffer so much. It was really unfair. Many women would do anything to have a man like Neil by their side, not only because he was incredibly handsome, but because he was a caring, sensitive man. She sighed, and she went to prepare for her shift, which would start in a few minutes…
***
St. John, Mr. Clancy's villa, 2 pm
“Gatti speaking.”
“Mr. Gatti, good afternoon. I am Mr. Clancy.”
“Hello, Mr Clancy. I would have called you later to put you up-to-date with my investigation.”
“Have you found out anything important? I haven't heard from you for a few weeks now. I thought I had been clear when I told you that I wanted to be constantly informed of your progress …” The voice of this man was authoritative and commanding, the tone of a person used to manage and give orders.
“I know, but, before informing you, I wanted to be absolutely sure.” The tone of Mr. Gatti was typical of a man used to dealing with people like Mr. Clancy. He was professional and obliging, but he was not easily intimidated.
“What have you discovered?”
“Mr. Clancy, since the matter at hand is delicate, I don’t like talking on the phone, but in a few days I will let you have a file with all the photos, the documents and the information I have been able to gather. One thing is certain, Mr. Clancy. Your suspicions were well founded!”
Mr. Clancy, an old man with white hair and dark eyes, sighed deeply, before replying:
“I know that I have to wait for your file to know the details, but … how bad is it?”
“It’s very serious, and I really don't know how you will be able to break the news to your daughter and granddaughter…” Even if Mr. Gatti’s tone remained professional, there was a hint of sympathy in his voice.
When the call ended, Mr. Clancy remained with his phone in his hands for a few minutes, absorbed in his thoughts. What could be so serious? He had had doubts about that man for a few years, even if he instinctively liked him when he met him for the first time … What would his daughter and granddaughter say of the fact that he had hired a private investigator to look into his son-in-law’s business and life?
***
Rosary orphanage, 8:30 pm
Amy was anxious and restless. Neil had called her from the airport in the morning, and he had promised to go to her, as soon as he arrived in Rosary. The previous day he had gone to the orphanage to see her early in the morning, before she went to school. He had never failed to go to her every day, as he had promised after he had rescued her from the hands of that woman a few days before. In turn, she had promised him to stay with the other children, to try to talk to them. She was trying hard to do it: it was relatively easy not to remain alone, but she still couldn't force herself to talk to other people, children or adults.
She was trying to remember what had happened before she was found at Fredericton station a few months back, why she was so worried about Neil’s safety, why she was instinctively not afraid of him, but she still couldn't focus on faces and places, everything was a blur in her mind. The only face she could see clearly in her nightmares was the terrible menacing sneer of her father, always angry, always threatening… She didn't want to tell Neil about her nightmares, she was sure he would worry about her.
Now she was in the playroom with the other orphans. Sister Nancy and Sister Theresa had noticed her nervousness and had told her that Neil would surely come in a short time, but she couldn't help feeling restless. She couldn't concentrate on the book she was reading. Peter, one of the older boys, who was always kind to her, was looking at her with apprehension. He was really caring, and she thought that maybe one day she could try to talk to him, but … no, she just didn't know what to say, and her father never allowed her to talk to other people.
Peter looked out of the window because he had heard a car arrive, he turned to Amy, and he smiled: “Amy, he is here!”
Amy didn't need further encouragement, she stood up, left her book on the table and ran to the reception, just in time to see a smiling tall man being ushered in by Sister Nancy. He immediately opened his arms to let her in his embrace, and she clung to him with something that looked like affection, even if Amy had never known what affection was. Her existence had been made of fear and violence.
Neil embraced her with tenderness, and he said: “How are you, Amy?”
Another thing that struck Amy was that, when she was with Neil, she didn't have difficulty speaking to him, but only when they were alone. Now she just nodded, and, when Neil freed himself gently from her embrace, she put her hand into his, and they went together to the sofa under the window in the playroom. The other children were starting to go upstairs after watching tv with the nuns. They stopped briefly to talk to Neil, and, after they left the room, Sister Nancy closed the door that led to the canteen, and followed the orphans. Sister Theresa asked Neil:
“Would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?”
Neil reassured her: “No, thanks. I had dinner with Billy when he came to pick me up at the airport. I am sorry, but I have just arrived in town, and I really couldn't come earlier.”
Sister Theresa smiled and said: “Amy was waiting for you, weren’t you, darling?” She turned to the little girl, who simply nodded. Peter came in to say hello to his basketball coach, who, in just a few weeks, had been able to conquer the hearts of his young athletes. “Hi, Neil. See you next Saturday, we are all nervous for our first game …”
Neil smiled at the young boy, and he reassured him: “You mustn't be nervous, you just have to have fun together. It doesn't matter if we lose the first game … But I am sure you will play a good match…”
Peter left with Sister Theresa, and Neil remained alone with Amy. He turned to the little girl. Every time he looked into Amy’s eyes, he couldn't help feeling a wave of sadness. The color of those eyes, emerald green, was exactly like Carol's eyes … Also Amy’s pointed nose reminded him of his girlfriend, but Amy had dark olive skin, while Carol had auburn hair and fair skin.
Amy looked at him but she didn't smile. This was something she had not been able to do yet. She reflected that she had perhaps never smiled in her life. She was … she couldn't force herself to say that she was happy when she was with Neil, because happiness was something that she had never experienced, something connected to having a family, or someone who cared for her, and, as far as she could remember, she had never had either of these things. She felt safe, she felt protected, when she was with Neil, and this was a new feeling for her.
Neil caressed her cheek tenderly. He was the only person she allowed to touch her, and she liked feeling the warmth of his hand on her cold face.
“How are you, Amy? Are you alright?”
She looked at him, and she answered timidly: “Yes, I am glad you are here.”
“You know I will never forget to come to you …I will never break my promise.”
Amy simply nodded and said: “I know, but there are bad people out there...” She made a vague gesture towards the window. “Someone wants to hurt you … My dad wants to hurt you…”
That was one of the few things she remembered in connection to Neil. Her father and a woman talked about Neil, and the man wanted to find him and kill him. She didn't know, and she couldn't understand why her father wanted to kill this courageous, kind man, but she remembered that her father was wicked, he always commanded and ordered, he never smiled … Oh, how she wished she had a father like Neil.
Neil looked at her with apprehension. Since she had been found at the station, many people had looked at her with apprehension, but she didn't know why. She didn't have a family who cared for her, nobody was looking for her. She was not like those children she saw in her nightmares. They begged her father to let them go home, and they made him so angry … But … something had happened to those children, she couldn't remember what and when … Oh, it was so difficult for her to focus on the events in her past … It was so frightening …
She was so concentrated on remembering that she didn't notice that the image of her father had made her start to tremble violently, as it had often happened during the night … Neil took her hands and drew her close to him. She realized that she was panting, but the soothing embrace of the policeman slowly calmed her down. After a while, she looked up at him, but he wasn't smiling, he was really worried.
“Amy, what’s up? Have you remembered something? What frightens you so much? I am here with you. Nobody's going to hurt you any more, I promise.”
“Neil …” she steadied her breath before being able to speak, “I see terrible faces, and the face of my father, who wants to beat me. Will he come here to take me with him? I don't want to go with him!” She started to sob, and Neil held her close to him, until she was calm.
She looked into his blue eyes and said: “You must be careful, Neil. He is a bad person, and there are many wicked people with him, who do what he says…”
Neil knew that she was frightened, and he didn't want to increase her tension, but he ventured to ask: “Amy, do you remember the name of your father or of some of those bad men? Could you recognize the photo?”
Amy shook her head and answered slowly: “The police asked me to look through some photos, but I didn't see my father … Neil, please, don’t let him come to take me.”
“Don’t worry, Amy. But,” he tried to smile as he gently raised her face to look at him, “promise to tell me immediately if you remember anything … a name … a face. But don't tell anyone else, please, Amy”
“Can I tell Billy, if you are away?”
She didn't know why, but, even if he never dared to touch her, she liked Billy, and she kept on thinking that she had heard something about him before, maybe from her father …
Neil smiled and said softly: “Billy told me that he came to see how you were doing yesterday…”
“Yes, he is very kind, and he stayed here for some time. He talked to Peter and the other boys … He is really nice …” Neil’s colleagues and friends Billy and Bob had been referees in a friendly basketball game Neil had organized the previous week, and the orphans had immediately grown fond of Billy, who had told them that he had lived in an orphanage, too.
Neil replied to her question: “Yes, you can trust Billy and me, but no one else, including the other children, ok?”
Amy nodded silently, she remained in Neil’s arms for a few minutes, then Neil accompanied her upstairs, where the other children were going to bed.
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When Neil went back downstairs, sister Theresa was preparing bowls and plates for breakfast in the canteen. She smiled at him and said kindly:
“Thanks for coming every day. Amy is always longing to see you… And it is really moving to see her in your arms …”
Neil smiled and said: “Theresa, please, don't tell anyone that I can touch and even cuddle Amy. I can't help fearing for her safety …”
He had never told the two sisters of Amy’s fears for him. Theresa looked at him with a worried expression, and she said:
“Yes, Neil, I understand your concern, but Rosary is a small town. If a stranger was seen around here watching Amy, we would notice …”
“I don't know, but I think that, if she starts remembering something clearly, she could recall names and faces… Whoever has obliged her to live that way wouldn't want to be discovered …”
He tried to smile encouragingly, because he didn't want to increase the tension, and he said: “Please call me, if you feel Amy needs to see me, or if she asks to talk to me…”
Sister Theresa nodded and watched the tall man leave, before locking the door and going back to her chores.
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