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Lü Bu carried Xiao Meng to the bedroom in the side building and gently placed him on the bed.
Compared to the scrapes and superficial wounds on his body, the deep gash Sima Lang gave him on his thigh was much more severe. After the fierce battle just now with LiaoYuan Fire, he had been holding on with sheer willpower. But as soon as he saw Lü Bu, that last bit of resolve collapsed, and Xiao Meng, half-unconscious, slumped in Lü Bu’s arms.
Without saying a word, Lü Bu quickly gave Xiao Meng a pill to protect his heart and began tending to his injuries.
Under the dim candlelight, as Xiao Meng floated between waking and sleeping, he suddenly felt a coolness at his waist, and even a faint breeze on his skin. Forcing his eyes open, he saw Lü Bu silently cutting open his pants.
"Lü Bu! What are you doing!" Xiao Meng was shocked and tried to sit up, but the motion tore at his wounds, sending waves of pain through his body.
"Your thigh is badly injured, almost down to the tendon. I need to clean and bandage it immediately," Lü Bu said.
"I see... fine... just give me... the medicine and tools... I’ll do it myself." Xiao Meng tried to sit up and forced himself to sound calm, but his voice trembled, his hands were shaking, and his face was deathly pale—all signs of severe blood loss. Blood still seeped from his leg.
"Xiao Meng, don’t be ridiculous. Look at yourself—how can you handle this?" Lü Bu’s voice grew stern as he reached to undress Xiao Meng.
"I don’t need... I’ve had worse wounds before... I always... I really can..." Xiao Meng tried to argue, but his voice was barely a whisper.
Lü Bu ignored him.
"Hey... I said..." Xiao Meng, panicked and weak, tried to push him away, but he was powerless. Inside, a wave of anxiety and frustration rose up uncontrollably.
Why won’t you listen to me? Why can’t I do what I want? Fire-ge was like this, and now you too!
Finally, that anxiety and rage erupted like magma from the earth.
Without warning, Xiao Meng slapped Lü Bu hard across the face—a loud, clear smack.
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"Are you deaf?! I said I don’t need it! I don’t need you to take care of me! Get out, do you hear me!"
Xiao Meng screamed hysterically at Lü Bu.
Lü Bu hadn’t expected Xiao Meng, despite his injuries, to still have such strength. He had thought Xiao Meng would tire himself out and then settle down, so he hadn’t paid much attention. Now, he was caught off guard.
Lü Bu lowered his head and was silent for a moment; the room was suffocatingly quiet.
"Xiao Meng..." Lü Bu finally spoke.
"Get away—" Xiao Meng nearly jumped off the bed, shrieking, and tried to slap Lü Bu again.
In a flash, Lü Bu stepped forward, grabbed Xiao Meng’s raised hand, and pulled him tightly into his arms. His lips covered Xiao Meng’s in a fierce and deep kiss.
"...Mmm..."
What is this?! How dare he! I don’t care anymore!
The sudden kiss left Xiao Meng stunned. In the next instant, rage overtook him, and he struggled in Lü Bu’s arms, biting Lü Bu’s lip in fury.
Blood welled and flowed, but Lü Bu didn’t let go. Only when Xiao Meng tasted the blood in his mouth did his anger slowly subside and his mind clear.
After a long moment, they finally let go.
Xiao Meng saw the blood on Lü Bu’s lips and was overwhelmed with guilt.
"Lü Bu... I’m sorry... I... I’m sorry..." Xiao Meng couldn’t find any words.
"Xiao Meng..."
Lü Bu casually wiped the blood from his mouth, his voice more tender and magnetic than ever before.
He kissed Xiao Meng’s forehead and gently stroked his soft, slightly curled hair.
Xiao Meng froze. Just a moment ago, he’d been furious and resentful—now, all those emotions vanished without a trace.
"Xiao Meng, be good. Lie down and let me take care of you. Xiao Meng... please..."
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Lü Bu’s voice was incomparably gentle, like coaxing a naughty child to sleep, but that last plea carried a trembling note.
No matter how gentle Lü Bu’s tone, Xiao Meng could hear the quiver and uncertainty in "please."
Even at the worst of times, Xiao Meng had never seen this strong man so lost.
All for his sake...
So Xiao Meng’s anger instantly melted away. He calmed down, lay quietly back on the bed, and let that man continue.
The man undid his clothes and pants, carefully stopping the bleeding and cleaning his wound.
Even the most shameful part of himself was exposed to the man's gaze.
"I’m sorry... I shouldn’t... have treated you like that..." Xiao Meng wept softly, unmoving.
"It’s all right. I’m not angry," Lü Bu replied gently, carefully applying medicine to the wound.
"...I just... don’t want you... to see me like this... to see my body like this... I’m sorry..."
Tears streamed down Xiao Meng’s face.
He cursed himself for being so weak.
Though, not long ago, in that farmhouse outside Yewang City, on that sultry, restless night, he had been bold enough to "seduce" Lü Bu.
But tonight, under the cool autumn moon—perhaps because Sima Lang had made him finally see the shame, sorrow, absurdity, and hatefulness of his own life; perhaps because Sima Lang, who once showed him kindness, had tonight called him a "eunuch dog" again and again—he especially did not want, on this night, to have his deepest scars exposed so nakedly before Lü Bu.
"Your body is fine. I’ve never thought anything bad of it," Lü Bu said softly, his voice gentle and firm.
No... it’s not fine at all.
My body is a disgrace. My life is a joke.
Compared to the disillusionment of Sima Lang’s familial affection, LiaoYuan Fire’s actions hurt him even more.
Though LiaoYuan Fire never said it outright, Xiao Meng understood: the reason he stopped Xiao Meng from killing Sima Lang was because, to him, if Xiao Meng took that step, he would be no better than a beast.
But brother Fire didn’t understand: I had to kill him.
Because if I didn't become that beast, I couldn’t go on living. But brother Fire didn’t understand, and he never tried to.
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"Xiao Meng, look, I’m still holding the rope—I never let go."
He remembered, after that failed mission, he and LiaoYuan Fire had been hunted by hundreds.
At the edge of a waterfall, LiaoYuan Fire, to protect Xiao Meng, tied a rope around him and lowered him down the waterfall, holding the rope at the river’s end with one hand and fighting off a hundred pursuers with the other. Then he jumped off the waterfall, tossing both Xiao Meng and himself to a ledge, escaping danger.
Afterward, LiaoYuan Fire smiled and showed Xiao Meng the rope still gripped in his hand.
"See! I never let go!"
Xiao Meng remembered how, seeing LiaoYuan Fire covered in wounds, he had cried with gratitude.
But now, thinking back, Xiao Meng felt something completely different—
Yes, Fire-ge. You never let go.
And so, I was tied by you, left dangling below the cliff—unable to climb up, unable to fall down.
Stuck in this place you chose for me—unable to leave you, unable to get close to you.
You thought that was enough.
All along, Xiao Meng felt that LiaoYuan Fire’s love for him was not the love he most yearned for, but it was still a kind of love.
But in this moment, he suddenly understood: LiaoYuan Fire had never loved him, never understood him.
He had never even tried, and never thought he needed to.
What LiaoYuan Fire cared about was the heroic LiaoYuan Fire, not Xiao Meng.
So, in my whole life, I have never truly been loved.
But the man before me, who loves me, has saved me from danger again and again, cared for me, protected me.
Never asking anything in return, and yet I treated him like this.
Xiao Meng did not blame LiaoYuan Fire.
But because of this, he understood: everything Lü Bu had done—rescuing him, staying with him, even the desire and conquest from their first meeting—was all for him.
All for him.
Thinking back, even from their first encounter in Luoyang, although Lü Bu was at odds with the Sima family, he had never done anything to hurt Xiao Meng.
To be fair, from the beginning until now, Lü Bu had never wronged him.
But because I was part of the Sima family, I naturally took their hatred as my own.
The hatred I once had for Lü Bu now seems more and more unnecessary and ridiculous.
I... am truly a pitiful, laughable fool!
I’ve failed so badly at life... what’s the point in clinging to it?
Lü Bu undid Xiao Meng’s clothes. Assassins’ clothes always hide some hidden weapons.
In a split second, Xiao Meng’s right hand gripped a throwing dart hidden in his collar and stabbed it toward his own pale neck.
"Xiao Meng—!"
Lü Bu reacted instantly, blocking with his hand—the dart buried itself in Lü Bu’s palm.
Blood poured out.
Xiao Meng’s hand fell, his strength gone, his body limp on the bed, his consciousness fading. He felt warmth on his face and neck, as if blood was flowing everywhere, but he felt no pain.
Am I... dying?
That’s fine...
Lü Bu...
I’m sorry...
His consciousness faded, darkness closed in.
"Don’t be afraid, Xiao Meng. I’m here."
In the darkness, this was the last thing he heard from Lü Bu before he lost all awareness.
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End of Chapter 25
Copyright Notice:
The Burning Dream Chronicle Chapter 25: "Agonizing Love"16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZrhm4yTnv
Original work by Jing Xixian (Vampire L), all rights reserved.16Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGDs3KrnXv
No part of this work may be reproduced, adapted, copied, translated, or used commercially in any form without written permission from the author.
© Jing Xixian (Vampire L), All rights reserved.
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