"Gub, for the last time, it’s not a 'Spike Pit.' It’s a 'Vertical Mobility Challenge.'"
I projected my voice into the mind of my Head of Operations. Gub, who was currently covered in mud and holding a sharpened stick, looked at the hole he’d just dug. He scratched his large, warty ear.
"But... if fall in, go squish," Gub thought back at me.
"Only if they fail the challenge," I corrected. "And if they do, we collect their equipment as a restocking fee. It’s industry standard."
It had been twelve hours since my rebirth. In that time, I hadn't just survived; I had pivoted. The cave was no longer a damp hole in the ground. It was an open-concept workspace.
Using my [Edit Terrain] function, I’d smoothed out the jagged walls into sleek, minimalist stone. I’d ordered the goblins to widen the corridors, creating better flow for "customers" (adventurers). We didn't have much—just a few tripwires, some buckets of slime, and a very motivated workforce of six goblins—but we had vision.
I checked my dashboard.
Mana Reserves: 340 / 1,000,000.
Daily Interest Payment Due: 11 hours.
I was solvent, but barely. The "Soft Launch" with the two adventurers yesterday had netted enough mana to keep the lights on, but I needed volume. I needed a steady stream of heroes coming in, getting their butts kicked just enough to drop some loot, and then leaving to tell their friends about the cool new dungeon in town.
I was building a tourist trap.
"Boss!" Gub squeaked, rushing into the Core Room. "Big shiny coming! Not like the others! Smells like... like rules!"
"Smells like rules?" I paused my internal spreadsheet. "Clarify."
"Metal lady! heavy steps! No sneak. Just walks! broke the front door trap!"
My sensors flared. I shifted my awareness to the entrance tunnel.
Gub was right. This wasn't a scavenger looking for copper. The footsteps were rhythmic, heavy, and terrifyingly calm. Clank. Clank. Clank.
I zoomed in.
A woman. She was clad in polished silver armor that practically glowed in the dim light of the cave. A white cape trailed behind her, pristine despite the mud. Her hair was blonde, pulled back into a severe bun that looked like it was pulled tight enough to give her a headache.
Above her head, the System displayed her stats.
Name: Seraphina
Class: Paladin (Order of the Ledger)
Level: ??
Status: Audit Mode.
"Level Question Mark," I muttered. "Fantastic. Just what I needed. A federal audit."
She didn't stop at the tripwire. She didn't even look down. She just walked through it. The wire snapped, releasing a log meant to swing down and smack her in the face. She caught the log with one hand, without breaking stride, and crushed it into splinters.
"Gub," I commanded. "Get the boys back. Do not engage. Repeat, do not engage. This is a PR nightmare waiting to happen."
"We hide?" Gub asked, hopeful.
"No," I said. "We negotiate."
ns216.73.216.10da2
and then Add to home screen.