At this moment, nothing mattered. How did it even come to this? You didn't know or give a damn either way. You just knew that everything, absolutely everything in your brain right now was screaming at you, “ jump, just jump, just fucking jump already!!” What were you so afraid of anyhow? No one cared whether or not you dropped and it wouldn't have mattered if they did anyhow, at least that was the only train of thought you could scavenge for in that moment. Either way you couldn't feel anything anyhow, and all you wanted, the only thing , was to goddamn feel something.
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It was around 8 o'clock that night, and it was December so it was freezing tonight. Levi, Erwin, and Hange were out Christmas shopping after Levi and Erwin finally caved into Hange's begging to go out. Hange had been begging the two of them to go out for the last few weeks. Levi of course dragged his feet the whole time, and Erwin didn't really care either way, he just enjoyed being with his friends. The three of them walk through the town square passing each store and occasionally going into the ones Hange would get excited about. It was a long process of Hange screaming “ come on just one more i promise you guys, this is the one! “ Levi would promptly give them a glare starring daggers at them, knowing full well it wouldn't be the last store. Erwin chuckles, just happy to be out and have a break from studying.
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Across from where they were walking, there was a big bridge that was lit up on the sides of it, making the brick road ahead glow brightly in the dark night. Only one person was on it, it was far away, but you could be seen clearly by that distance if you were looking.
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Hange had been ranting on and on about her annoying professor who had been driving them crazy with last minute assignments that were stacking up before they were approaching exams. Their ranting was driving Levi crazy because he didn't give a shit anymore and he just wanted to go home. “ I swear you guys, it's like he has a vendetta and seriously wants us to fail!! Can you believe that? - OH AND THEN HE ALSO…”Erin would just nod his head and occasionally mumble his agreements trying to get a word in edge wise. Levi's head was elsewhere; he'd stopped paying attention completely at this point.
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It wasn't anywhere specific but really he was just trying to drown out the noise of hanges complaining about shit he couldn't really have cared any less about. He just wanted this stupid shopping trip to be over already and hange kept promising it would be over after the next store, of course that was never true. He figured it'd just be easier to zone out completely which he did
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He glared off into the distance irritatedly looking for anything else to grab his attention. Ugh it was fucking freezing out and listening to hange ramble on and on for what felt like hours and hours was getting a bit ridiculous. He stared off at the bridge across the street they were traveling. Levi always loved that bridge. It was just nice to look at. Never had many people on it at night time, it was illuminated by the lights that made the sides of it and the snow falling past those LEDS felt ethereal.
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He was definitely lost in thought, or at least the absence of thought for that matter as he stared off into the distance.one person. Just one person on that bridge. At first, he barely even noticed you, you'd looked so tiny from that far away. But once he saw you,some natural impulse struck him like a bolt of lightning, something was wrong. Seriously, dead point blank, wrong.
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Naturally he looked back at hange and Erwin for a second just to see if they were both seeing what he had before whipping his head back around to look at you. Neither of them noticed you, they were busy chatting about bullshit that meant nothing really. To their absolute shock, Levi without any hesitation struck away from the group and began running. Yes, actually physically running and fast. “ what the FUCK levi ?!?!?” Hange screams out, “ uh levi,... what the hell?” Erwin mumbles completely baffled.
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He knew, his body knew. And it made the assumption before his brain could even comprehend the impulse or even gather up a coherent thought, something like, survival mode maybe?
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It was cold, freezing for that matter. Anyone else would be feeling the wind whip though their face about now but not you. Anyone else right now would be and is, wrapped from head to toe with layers of warm clothing and comfort but not you. You just had a shirt and sweats on. But it didnt fucking matter. Nothing did. Infact the cold that was ripping through your tears that were burning your face, if anything felt like comfort. It felt great because at least it was a feeling, at least you could feel something. You wanted more because you liked the way your tears were burning you. The liquid felt like relief. And that water that lay right below you, was calling to you. It was so close and so far away all at once.
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His pace sped up, and he was getting closer but he still needed to close the distance. He was still far enough away that you hadn't noticed him, still far off enough he could hear Hange screaming out. God they probably thought he was out of his mind right now. Maybe he was. What the hell was even his plan here? He didnt know, or even fucking care for that matter his body just reacted when is brain had finally caught up to the fact that yes, holy shit yes, you were going to jump. No, it was definitely true, there was no other reason at all for someone to be standing on the outside of the metal beams that made up the foundation of that bridge. Hell, even the way you were dressed, like you didn't give a shit about a single thing in the world, really said it all
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That look on your face, the one where, when he got closer he could make out better, and it read that you were gonna jump and there were no other options to be desiphered. You were a goner and no one else even saw you but him
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You step closer and closer, foot pushing so close to the edge that you're a centimeter from diving right off. Wind was thrashing through every inch of you, and you were so close to falling that it wasn't even worth holding onto the beam anymore. And just like that, you give in. You embrace that edge.
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You said your metaphorical final vows, and so beautifully and calmly you just let yourself slip and that was it
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“ NO FUCK!!!!” he screamed out, piercing his own ears. Hange and Erwin were finally caught up at what the hell they'd been staring at for the past minute or so. Took them long enough. They started jogging toward you and Levi, just trying to catch up, fuck..how’d they miss what was going on? Only a few seconds ago they'd simultaneously come to the conclusion that he'd just gone mad, and was running away in a strange effort to ditch them. Even that hadn't made sense. But no, he was trying to save this stranger's life. They thought for a moment that he was going to try and talk you down but fuck, you fell. Seamlessly, you actually let yourself drop.
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It was a far fall but not enough to die on impact, though surely enough to to drown or freeze to death. Yeah, you would definitely freeze in that water. It was already slushy and cold, ready to grow a top layer of ice. Levi doesn't even think, just like he hadn't thought before running, like he hadn't thought before screaming out, and he dives in head first after you, praying internally that he hadn't been too late.
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The drop feels like an eternity. In that moment before you'd even touched the water, you were already dead to yourself. You died the moment you let yourself slip, at least that's how it felt. It had happened all in one fell swoop, slowly, then all at once. And it burned, oh how it burned so bad. It wasn't how you'd expected. You couldn't understand how something so freezing could burn so bad like a blazing fire shredding up your bones. But that was the decision you'd committed to, and for a moment, only a moment, that was so small and fleeting that the view of the top of the bridge when it was suddenly so far away, had almost felt like regret. You almost wished you'd just gone home instead.
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But you had gotten what you wanted, and you finally felt something. Even if it was this. But it was terrible, and you'd imagined that this is what it would feel like if you were existing in hell right now, of course if hell was cold that is. Everything hurt, it burned. It seared through every inch of you, it ripped and ached, and then-
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nothing. Not pain, not fear, just tired. You just felt hazy, and that electricity that was once blazing at your skin had just dismissed itself. Just faded, and you felt sleepy. Peaceful even, embraced, and over.
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As soon as Levi decided to jump he knew it would be unfathomably cold, hell it would even hurt but what choice did he have? In that moment he was just grateful that he'd worn his warmest clothes, and in comparison to what you'd been wearing the difference was negligible. Didn't you see him, hear him running to you? “ I could have fucking stopped you, why did you do that?” Was his only thought before leaping off after you, crashing into the water. And he realized he was right about only one thing, that it burned. That water fucking burned.
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Once he was under, he opened his eyes and basically made an assumption that that dark blob of a shadow was probably you. It was probably you because you were the only thing other than himself that looked as if it were sinking down, and he reached out and grabbed at whatever he was able to grasp at. He was lucky, because whatever he grabbed at felt like your shirt and with all the strength he had he pulled you toward himself. He wrapped you in his arms, tight, as if to hold on for dear life. You were dead calm, not moving, not anything. And like it would be the last thing he’d ever do, he fucking swam torward the surface . he knew he could die here but there wasnt even room in his brain to care. He only had one mission, one motive, and one goal. But the only thought his brain could muster up was, “ Please dont be dead, please god dont be dead, was I too late? Did I take too long?… is she… ..dead? Fuck.”
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and then Add to home screen.