When "I'm fine" becomes a daily mask.
Have you ever noticed how the phrase "stay strong" can feel so pressurizing? It's as if every time someone tells you that, they're expecting you to be okay no matter what—smiling, composed, and without any complaints. As if showing emotions, breaking down, or feeling exhausted is somehow wrong. Being "strong" seems to mean never being allowed to feel tired or vulnerable. That’s all they say...I remember a time when I was emotionally and mentally drained. Inside, everything was falling apart. Every night I cried myself to sleep, but every morning I put on the same mask: "I'm strong. All good. I'm fine." But is that what being strong really means? Does being strong mean hiding your emotions? Does it mean that shedding a few tears or feeling weak for a moment makes you less strong?I still recall one moment clearly—in school, when a big project failed and my personal life was in turmoil, I told a friend, "I feel overwhelmed. I just want to shut everything down for a while." Her response was, "Come on, you're always so sorted. If you say this, what will others think?" That silenced me because I realized people only want to see the version of you that makes them comfortable—smiling, joking, and appearing perfect no matter what.But that day became a turning point for me. For the first time, I asked myself: Am I really strong, or am I just crushed under everyone’s expectations?
The Weight of Unseen Expectations -
When society says, "stay strong," it often fails to understand that strength doesn’t mean suppressing your pain. Yes, resilience is important, but denying your emotions all the time isn’t healthy either. This is the most dangerous part of toxic positivity—it makes you feel guilty for simply feeling.You're sad, yet you tell yourself, "It’s okay, everything’s fine," even if it's not. You want to cry, but you think, "What will people say?"
Living Behind the Mask-
I used to be the type of person who always tried to look composed. Whenever someone asked, "How are you?" my answer was always automatic: "I'm fine." But was I really fine? No.Many times, I sat alone in a room crying. But the moment I looked at myself in the mirror, I told myself, "Stop crying now. You're strong." That self-denial slowly became my identity.
Psychological Insight-
Toxic positivity doesn’t mean positivity is bad. The problem starts when every negative emotion is simply covered up with a "think positive" plaster. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), when we ignore or suppress our emotions, they tend to grow even more intense. Suppression is never true strength.
Dr. Susan David, a well-known psychologist and author of Emotional Agility, says:"Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life."This means that growth and healing only begin when we acknowledge those uncomfortable emotions we often try to hide.
The Guilt of Not Being Okay-
Sometimes I felt selfish for being sad because the world had taught me, "At least you have a home, food, and family." But does that mean I don’t have the right to feel sadness?We all fight different battles. Some face financial struggles, others emotional trauma. Some have everything, yet feel empty. And that emptiness deserves to be validated.
The Inner Voice-
Now, looking back, I understand what "stay strong" really means. It doesn’t mean hiding your emotions or pretending everything is okay. It means allowing yourself to feel deeply—and still choosing to move forward.
Breaking My Own Illusions-
I used to think that if I showed weakness, people would leave me. So, I wore emotional armor—laughing, joking, and convincing everyone I was fine. But that mask got heavier every day... until one day, I took it off.
Owning My Emotions-
Now I tell myself: Yes, I am strong, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be sad. Yes, I am capable, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never need help. And most importantly—yes, I deserve to be loved even when I’m not smiling.
To You, Who Feels the Same-
If you're someone who always tries to appear strong, who’s afraid to cry in front of others, who ignores your feelings, I want to tell you:You don’t have to be okay all the time. You don’t have to become what the world expects. Just be honest with yourself. Because that honesty is your greatest strength.
A New Beginning-
So let’s make a promise to ourselves today—that we will validate our emotions. That we will honor our tears just as much as our smiles. It’s time to redefine strength. From now on, strength will mean:
Feeling.
Accepting.
Healing.
And it all begins with truth.Let’s begin a new journey—where we choose real healing over fake strength.
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