She tried her best to keep her emotions in check, but that night when everyone was sleeping in their tents, she could not stop herself from spiraling down her emotions.
In the privacy of her tent, when no one was there to judge her, scold her, or pity her, she let out a few tears.
Not because she was weak and could not take it. But because she felt her efforts were being judged. She wanted to save that woman's life. No doctor likes adding person after person to their personal graveyard that stays at the back of their mind always.
She sees death every day. She understands the aftermath of it on people who are left alive. She has lost her patience because of institutional delays and mismanagement. She knows she will lose her patient if she's not on alert. How the death of one member affects the entire family—she has seen that way too many times in the corridors of her hospital. And that scene is enough for her to give her hundred percent from her side. She had decided long back when she entered the hospital as an intern that she would do her best to not let anyone die because of her carelessness.
That was what she was trying to do when she sprinted for those IV bottles. Was that so reckless that she had to be embarrassed in front of so many people near that building like that? And why did Reeta not understand the amount of thought she had put into it before calling her reckless?
Well, maybe she was, she thought to herself. This was not a hospital; this is not her territory, and she should keep it in her mind.
'From tomorrow I'll do whatever I can with whatever I have. No more going out of my way to do my best.'
She will go to that medical camp, do her work, and return to her tent. She was firm on her decision as she wiped her tears.
That building. She will not even look at it ever after today. That man. She was jealous of him; it just took one word from him for everyone to get silent. Lucky him having this authority, unlike her, who gets yelled at even when she tries her best. She was envious. She was angry for embarrassing her twice in this lifetime. He was officially on her list of men to avoid at any cost. Was it really not his duty to help people, or was he too tied down by protocols? And if he was this tightly tied to rules and regulations, is it not hypocritical of him to talk against them and embarrass her in that cafeteria for it? And then using them as a shield and embarrassing her in this relief camp.
No, she decided, she will not let him stay in her mind any longer. Whatever playful memory of him from Delhi that was staying in her mind, he has officially given her reasons to forget it completely.
---
The next morning, on her way to the relief camp, she did not even glance at that building; she did not want to see it again and get flustered. She did not want to see him again and get envious.
She went straight to the medical camp. She stepped in the medical relief camp filled with people in need of ORS, IV fluids, bandages, antivenom, and so many things. There were so many men, women, and children all in need of help. The place was smelling worse than yesterday, now that the number of people had increased. There were liters of medical waste. She thought of notifying Reeta but then could not do so. Reeta had literally asked her to mind her own business in sugar-coated words yesterday.
(She did tell it to Rohit, who then informed Reeta. She could not take it anymore.
That patient she had to fight for yesterday, she handed over to Niharika, not because she wanted to run away. But she wanted to forget everything related to that incident. And she was sure Niharika was competent enough to look after that woman.
Everyone in her team could notice the shift in her nature, but no one inquired. One, they were overflowing with people and had no time to do so. Two, they thought everything would be alright by evening.
Little did they know what was about to happen next.
ns216.73.216.33da2
and then Add to home screen.