They say time heals you.
Well of you ask me I'm sure it doesn't. Because if it did, why do I sit in this cafe with my americank after a tired day, after a busy schedule, and can think of nothing but you. 114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMA7lBnpQH
Remember that summer evening, when I saw you for the first time in the basketball court? I could feel the rush of blood on my cheeks, the nervousness to even look up at you and my heart asking me to just run away.
There was nothing too special about that day. You know why?
Because the fact that I'm attracted to another good looking guy was not enough to make me feel different.
But then that random bumping of summer evening turned into spending time with common friends and trying to steal glances at you when you were not looking.
The feeling of tiptoeing around you without letting my vulnerability known was thrilling enough to go deeper.
And then came those stolen moments together in the college hallways. Trying to appear nonchalant but only I knew how my heart would go erratic everytime you smiled.
And then remember that day when you asked me out for a date?
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I knew, I should say no.
I knew its gonna be a mistake. 114Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikEDucKQm0
I knew it will break me.
But i said yes.
You want to know why?
Because the adrenaline rush your presence gave me was turning into a tranquilizing company.
The calmness you brought with your smile and your words was new.
I was walking into a new territory and that itself was enough for me to forget everything and follow you.
Now I wish I shouldn't have done that.
Because every second spent with you is engraved in my memory strong enough to remind me everyday how excited I was, how happy I was.
You turned me into a lovesick teenager.
Maybe I was selfish.
Maybe all I cared about was me.
Maybe that's what you realised too.
Was that the reason you came to me on that rainy evening, in the same basketball court.
To say the words i never wanted to hear from you.
To leave you forever because it is not working out for us.
Was it really not working out for us?
Maybe it was working out only for me.
Maybe you did not feel the same.
But it was too late.
Too late because I was already thinking about nothing but you.
So when you left, all I could feel were the withdrawal symptoms.
You don't know what happens to people who are addicted to the dopamine rush and tranquility that you offer.
May you find it somewhere.
May you find yourself somewhere.
That's it.
That's all I can pray for sitting here, in this coffee shop with nothing but a heavy heart and my americano.
Feeling nothing but pain everytime i see our reflection in some corner of this cafe.
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