Chapter 18: Breathe
17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTcBuVYhtS
“Did you get your memories back?”
Cassidy barely heard Nadja’s question. She was leaning against the side of the desk with her head in her hands. Her brain was busy trying to focus in on where she was. Her mind felt as if it was suddenly waking from a deep sleep. She shook her head several times to help clear away the lethargy. Shortly, her knowledge of the here and now began to merge with the newly recovered memories swirling around in the forefront of her mind. It took her a few seconds to take it all in, and then her thoughts focused in on the truth of what had just transpired.
“You did that?” Cassidy asked, suddenly aware that lost memories had been restored.
“You’re welcome,” Nadja responded coolly while sitting on the end of the sofa closest to the door.
Cassidy paused for several minutes to adjust to her new reality. Accepting the fact that her memories could be so easily taken and restored was not an automatic function. It took her a considerable amount of time and mental effort to suppress her disbelief. Then she finally latched on to a new thought.
“Is there more?” she asked anxiously.
“You tell me,” Nadja returned casually. “Are there any blind-spots in your memory?”
Despite the bit of jest in Nadja’s tone, her question prompted Cassidy to examine her recent past. She soon concluded that she would not recognize a blind-spot even if it were there. She had not been aware of any blind-spots before those memories were returned to her.
Cassidy lost her amazement with the idea of losing and gaining memories when she recalled the phrase, “I think we should dispose of her.” She became flustered when she recovered that memory. She looked at Nadja with a new awareness of her precarious situation. She wanted to take hope from the idea that her fate had not been decided yet and from David’s strident defense of her. But understanding her situation produced a new thought and a question.
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
Nadja was reluctant to give a truthful answer so chose to say nothing. Cassidy inferred from her silence that she was not going to live long enough to repeat any of it. She took a deep breath to strengthen her courage to endure the fear that her thoughts produced. She then turned her thoughts to another subject that churned in her mind.
“Why did Cristiãn say that he would drink my blood?”
Nadja felt no reluctance toward answering that question.
“Ingesting the blood of a mortal magnifies the effect of our pheromones on that mortal.”
“So, your pheromones work better on the people you drink blood from?” Cassidy questioned with restrained fear.
“Yes.”
Her answer confirmed Cassidy’s suspicion. She understood that her investigation of the booth three regulars had made her a problem for the vampires. She gathered from her recovered memories that David had been trying to back her away from that focus. She hoped that his entreaty to bite her was a viable alternative to killing her. But her memories on that subject suggested that most of the vampires did not think it would be enough to derail her investigation.
“But drinking my blood can’t guarantee that a memory will stay blocked?” Cassidy questioned with suspicion.
“It gives us a powerful depth of control over a mortal,” Nadja explained with a nod. “But keeping a memory blocked indefinitely requires continuous maintenance.”
“Then why won’t they let David drink my blood?” Cassidy asked.
“Because it’s a dangerous risk,” Nadja educated flatly.
“I don’t understand,” Cassidy returned with a hint of desperation. “You said drinking my blood would give David more control.”
“When we drink the blood of a mortal our control of them is ten times more powerful,” Nadja explained with a casual delivery. “But this depth of control is just as fallible over time as a compulsion without the assistance of blood enhanced pheromones. With a mortal’s blood in our system we can create a memory block quicker and easier, and it will likely last longer. But that’s all it will do. The brain forgets the small stuff on its own, but large thoughts and memories that are blocked off in the mind torments people. These torments reconstruct lost thoughts and memories. Sooner or later all compulsions around significant events or thoughts break down.”
“So, does that mean you can’t block a memory?” Cassidy asked for more clarity.
Nadja sat still for a moment as she gave her question a moment of thought. She shortly rose to her feet and took two steps toward Cassidy without expression. Her gaze was fixed on her, and it did not waver. Cassidy was unnerved by her change in manner and leaned back in response. Cassidy relaxed, slightly, when Nadja began to explain.
“The only way to be sure that a compulsion stays in place is through continuous reinforcement. Cristiãn would have to fortify the compulsion every three weeks at a maximum. And because enhanced pheromones last only as long as the blood of the mortal is in a vampire’s system, he would have to feed on you each time. The continuous maintenance of the block increases the chance that he will be found out. And even with the block, there is no guarantee that some casual event won’t trigger a reawakening.”
Nadja paused, giving weight to her last remark, and then she concluded.
“The risk is not limited to David. It extends to all of us.”
Cassidy barely notice her last remark. Her mind had turned inward in response to a sensation that was welling up inside of her. A sudden fluttering of her heart and a sudden feeling of apprehension began to capture her attention. She began to wonder if her anxiety was causing the palpitations or was it the other way around. After a long moment of examining herself, she noticed that Nadja had gone silent. She looked up and saw her gaze fixed on her.
“What’s happening?” Cassidy asked with a slight tremble in her voice.
Nadja stood rigidly and took a breath while holding her stare on Cassidy.
“I suspect you’re experiencing an abnormal heartbeat.”
Cassidy’s eyes widened from shock after hearing Nadja’s casual description of what she was experiencing at that moment.
“Are you doing this?” Cassidy asked with a sudden shortness of breath.
“Yes,” Nadja reported without any outward change in her behavior.
“What-what are you do-doing to me?” Cassidy coughed out with difficulty.
Cassidy pushed herself back along the edge of the desk and away from Nadja as she spoke. The look of fear on her face seemed to expand with each labored breath that she took.
“I am escalating your anxiety.”
Nadja took two steps forward as she spoke. Cassidy stood up in response to her statement and fumbled back away from the desk and up against the wall.
“What?” Cassidy asked with a confused expression.
“You’re feeling the effects of extreme hypertension,” Nadja explained with an absence of emotion.
“You-you’re kill-killing me!” Cassidy exclaimed with a look of shock.
“Yes, I am.”
Cassidy pushed back along the wall and further away from Nadja. She felt a desperate need to get away from her. Cassidy’s eyes began to search for an escape. The door was behind Nadja. She quickly concluded that there was no chance of getting past Nadja and began to scan the contents of the room for a weapon. She saw nothing that could be used to any great effect. Despite this she lunged toward Nadja and tried to fight her way past her. The effort was feeble. The exertion expended what little oxygen she had within her. Her breathing was labored and wheezing. She stumbled backwards into a corner of the room while gasping for air. Nadja moved a step closer. Cassidy slid to the floor.
“Soon you may start to feel pain in your chest, in your left arm or in your jaw,” Nadja breathed out in a voice calculated to elevate Cassidy’s fear. “The pain in your chest might feel like a burning, or like a fist clenched around your heart. Breathing will continue to grow more difficult. You should begin to feel more and more lightheaded as I speak.”
“Why are you doing this?” Cassidy asked with extreme worry.
“I have no choice,” Nadja returned flatly.
“But your-your brother,” Cassidy puffed out with effort. “He wants me to live.”
“It is for him that I am doing this,” Nadja growled back.
“He-he, he wants, he wants me to live,” Cassidy gasped out again.
“And I want him to live,” Nadja countered with finality.
Cassidy did not know how to respond to that. She struggled with the terror and effects of Nadja’s attention. Shortly, Nadja began to explain the reason behind her remark.
“I know my brother. He cares for you. He cares for you like none other since Constantia.”
“Then why, why are you killing me?” Cassidy queried with as much desperation that her breath could produce.
“Because they will kill my brother if I don’t kill you first,” Nadja answered with a stern expression.
Cassidy was confused into silence. She gave Nadja a wide-eyed stare as she continued to struggle to breath.
“He will fight for you,” Nadja continued. “And he will not forgive those that he blames for your death. I know my brother. He will kill for you, or he will try. Either way it means his death.”
Nadja hesitated, searching for the right words. In the end, she spoke her truth.
“He’s my brother. He’s my twin,” Nadja declared with passion.
Nadja paused and glared at Cassidy with the weight of the thoughts she held.
“I’m the only vampire that Cristiãn will not raise a hand to,” Nadja continued with insistence. “I am the only one who can kill you. He may never forgive me for it, but he’ll be alive. I will not lose my brother because of you. —I won’t. —I can’t.”
Cassidy now understood her predicament. She knew that reasoning with her had little chance for success. Instinct and fear motivated her to try to get back up on her feet. The effort sapped her of the wind needed to accomplish it, and she fell back down to a sitting position on the floor. She then turned her face away from Nadja. She could feel a pronounced tightness in her chest. It grew in intensity the more she focused on it. The terror swelled within her despite all her attempts to control it. A few seconds later, her growing lightheadedness began to distort her vision. The sight of Nadja standing above her caused her heart to beat at a faster pace. Cassidy gasped for air as she gripped her hand to her chest. She had no awareness of anything other than the turmoil that was raging inside of her. And then suddenly, it began to subside.
“What are you doing?” Petru demanded while looking from Nadja to Cassidy and back.
Nadja turned from Cassidy and toward the door just as her mate walked in.
“I am doing what I must, Petru,” Nadja explained with a stern expression.
“They want her in the main room,” Petru explained while holding his focus on Nadja. “Everyone is here.”
“What do they need her for?” Nadja challenged with annoyance.
“Lucian wants to ask her some questions,” Petru answered dismissively.
Without wasting a second Petru turned the subject to the matter that concerned him most at that moment.
“Cristiãn will never forgive you if you kill her.”
“But he will be alive,” Nadja roared back. “You know what will happen if he tries to interfere with the outcome of the vote.”
“You don’t know how the vote will come down.”
“Yes, I do, and so do you,” Nadja disputed with defiance. “And you know better than I how he feels about her.”
Petru had no immediate response. He seemed to be looking through Nadja as he considered her words. He knew that Nadja referred to his connection with Cristiãn as his maker. That fact gave him and Cristiãn a connection that not even she could match with her brother. He could feel the emotions in Cristiãn and vice versa. When they were near each other, their connection was made through the pheromones they emanated. He knew the depth of Cristiãn’s feelings for Cassidy and the weight of pain her death would inflict. After a long pause, his concern changed to determination.
“I can’t let you do this,” Petru spoke as he moved to Cassidy. “Cristiãn will never forgive you.”
Petru grabbed Cassidy by the arm and pulled her to her feet. He pulled her along behind him as he started for the door. Nadja put up no resistance as she listened to Petru explain his motivation.
“We may be able to resolve this to everyone’s liking,” Petru insisted. “You can’t be sure what will happen. We have to try.”
Petru was not sure he believed what he had just said. Hope was the motivation behind the words. He knew that all the vampires, other than himself, Nadja and Cristiãn, would be inclined to vote for Cassidy’s death. It was his hope that the divide would cause several of the other vampires to agree to a compromise. It was far from a sure bet, but in his mind, it was not inconceivable. It was a gamble he felt he had to take. He had no doubt that Cassidy’s death by Nadja’s doing would destroy the relationship between the siblings. That was a scenario he feared to see. As their maker, he cringed at the thought of their emotional anguish flooding into his mind and sensitivities. They were the two dearest vampires to him, and their pain was something that he did not want to see or experience. As he steered Cassidy toward the door, his mind was in a desperate search for an alternate ending.
Despite her disagreement with his reasoning, Nadja said nothing as she watched Petru lead Cassidy out of the room. She examined him with a mix of fear and concern. She knew that Petru experienced her brother feelings to the same degree he felt hers. And because of that, she thought it unwise to challenge her mate’s decision to overrule her. She knew that his choice to side with Cristiãn over her pragmatic decision to kill Cassidy became final the moment he took her in hand. Nadja stood in place for several seconds after Petru and Cassidy left the office; then she followed.
For Cassidy, the discourse between Nadja and Petru’s existed as little more than background noise. Her brain was still struggling with the terror that had gripped her mind. Her awareness that something had changed suddenly came to the front of her attention when Petru pulled her up from the floor. She hurried alongside the male vampire out of desperation to be out of the room and away from Nadja.
Shortly, Cassidy found herself in the hall outside of the office. She pulled back against Petru’s lead. He stopped to give her time to catch her breath.
“Slow deep breaths,” Petru urged in a soft voice. “You’ll be okay—slow deep breaths.”
Petru allowed Cassidy time for several deep breaths.
“Come on,” Petru urged with a gentle tug at her arm.
Petru supported Cassidy as they went down the hall. Her breathing continued to be labored. Her look of fear had transitioned to dismay. Her mind had cleared to the point that she knew where she was going and why. Her new state of awareness had her mind in a frantic search for a way out. But with each passing second, it looked increasingly unlikely. Running and fighting were not viable options, and no other strategy came to mind.
Nadja followed several steps behind Petru and Cassidy. She was reluctant to enter the room where the other vampires were waiting. She feared what would happen. She feared how it would end. And her fear was not limited to just her brother. Nadja knew that Petru would stand by Cristiãn. To what extent she could not be sure, but she feared that a conflict could bring him to the same fate. And she had no doubt that interference from her to protect Cristiãn would bring Petru full into the fray. The more she thought about it the more she wanted Cassidy dead.
Nadja and Petru’s love for each other existed without question. This feeling was maintained by their connection as biologically mated vampires, but its genesis went back to when she was a mortal. Her first meeting with Petru came about when he was more than three-hundred years into his life as a vampire. She fell in love with him despite his vampire affliction, and he fell in love with her at first sight. Their romance as vampire and mortal had been going on for three years when Nadja finally convinced him to turn her despite the risk of killing her. Petru was the only person that she cared for as much as she did for Cristiãn.
“This way,” Petru encouraged as he steered Cassidy through the entryway to the main room.
Cassidy followed his lead with hesitant baby steps. Her slow deep breathing was still a conscious act, but she could feel the increasing ease of it. Several seconds later, they were in the main room of the nightclub. Cassidy stopped several feet in front of the bar. She was reluctant to go into the center of the room.
Her heart was still thumping in her chest, but that was not the cause of her hesitation. She was afraid of what was to come. Her mind was no longer focused on what was happening inside of her. She was very much aware that this was the meeting that would decide her fate. After two deep breaths, she began her walk toward the center of the main room.
The first thing that Cassidy saw when she stepped onto the floor of the main room of the club was the number of vampires. She did not bother with counting them. She suspected the number would come to seventeen. With the addition of Petru and Nadja, she was sure the count would be the same as all the vampires from the Romanian cave: 19. After scanning the room, Cassidy’s eyes came to rest on David/Cristiãn. Their eyes locked on each other. She saw him through her own expression of fear and knew that he represented her only chance to survive the coming event.
When David/Cristiãn cast his eyes over Cassidy, he was shocked at her appearance. She looked tired and in pain. Her posture was bent as Petru maintained a supportive hold of her arm. He examined the terrified look in her eyes, and then he turned angry eyes on Nadja for several seconds. The room was still when he turned his gaze back to Cassidy, then Lucian’s voice broke the silence.
“Detective Tremaine, welcome to our inquisition.”
ns216.73.216.13da2
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