How in the demons did hodags get to this universe? Could they have possibly wound up finding the portal, and going through it? Jyri needed to talk to Faye about this. After Oliver left to talk to Emily, and Craig returned to his cubicle, Jyri went straight to the lobby to see Faye on the computer. “Faye.”
Faye looked at him. “What?
“Hodags are here.”
"Seriously? They’re in this universe too?” She tapped her chin. “Interesting.”
“No, they’re not from this universe. At all. Craig was just telling me about how there have been sightings of strange monsters. He then described a hodag.”
“You sure he wasn’t making it up? I heard he’s a conspiracy theorist.”
“He said he read it in the news.”
“Really? Let me check.” Faye went back to looking at her computer, clicking and typing away. “Whoa.”
“Did you find it?” Jyri walked over to peer at her monitor.
“Yeah. Someone even got a picture.” Faye pointed at a picture on the screen. At something that looked very much like a hodag.
“This is bad,” Jyri said. “This is really bad. How did it get here? And are there more than one, or are all these people seeing the same one?”
“It doesn’t say.”
“Good thing they’re harmless.” Jyri ran his fingers through his hair. “They must have gone through the portal.”
“There weren’t any hodags in the cave though. At least, not when we were in there.”
“Maybe one found its way in there.”
“Do you think anything else could have come through?” Faye asked. “Has it still been open all this time?”
“I don’t know how it could be. It’s not open from this side at all. We checked.”
“Maybe it was a one-way portal?”
“Possibly. Even so, the portals are supposed to be randomized. If a hodag managed to get through it, it’s extremely unlikely it would show up here too. It should’ve ended up in some other universe.”
“Maybe not as unlikely as you thought. Not much is known about the portals. Or parallel universes.”
“True. Regardless, there’s nothing we can do about it in this universe. Let’s just hope King Lyon doesn’t show up here.”
“Maybe he did in the form of Jasper,” Faye said.
Jyri snickered. “Pretty sure we’d have recognized him.”
“Yeah. Would be freaky though.”
“Freaky?”
Faye shrugged. “I’m picking up on the slang.”
“What’s freaky is all this chit chat going on in here,” Jasper said as he entered the lobby. “You should both be working.”
Jyri's heart raced. How much of their conversation had he heard? Jasper didn’t seem to have picked up on what they were really talking about. Ran stood behind Jasper with a bored expression. If Ran hadn’t heard, then Jasper likely hadn’t either.
“We’re having a work-related conversation,” Faye said.
“Why would a receptionist need to talk to a purchaser?”
“To ask him to order paperclips,” Faye said.
“There’s plenty of paper clips to go around.” Jasper looked at Jyri. “I don’t want you buying any office supplies. It’s a complete waste of our money. Got it?” He looked back at Faye. “Since you need paper clips so bad, I have a job for you.”
“What?” Faye asked flatly with narrowed eyes.
“Hang on a minute.” There was a small room near the lobby, where piles of boxes upon boxes were stored. Jasper and Ran walked into it. A few minutes later, they returned, Ran struggling with a large box. Ran set it on the desk, wheezing. Jasper removed the dust-covered lid, revealing piles of papers and folders.
Faye coughed. “What’s this?”
“Your paperclips.” Jasper picked up a folder, thumbed through papers inside it, and pulled out a stack held together with a paperclip. He removed the paperclip, and handed it to Faye. “I want you to go through this box and pull out every paperclip you can find.”
“What!”
“It’s okay.” Jasper gave Ran a pat on the shoulder. “Ran here will help you. And Jyri is coming with me. I’m afraid Ran’s a couple years too young for this task.”
Jyri blinked. “What?”
“I need you to drive me somewhere.”
Jyri gave him a blank stare. “Drive you to do what?”
Jasper let out a chuckle. “I like your humor. Let’s go.”
Reluctantly, Jyri followed Jasper out the front door.
“Don’t tell anyone this, but I really need to get wasted,” Jasper said as they reached the parking lot. “I am so done with everything right now, you don’t even know.”
Jyri nodded along, unsure of what to say. He opted for a simple “understandable.”
“I knew you’d get it. You’re not like any of the others.” Jasper led him to a small, gray car. “I’ll drive us there, but I need you to drive me back. I can’t risk driving drunk after what happened last time.”
“Okay.” Jyri got in the car while wondering “what happened last time.” He was too afraid to ask.
They arrived at what Jasper called a “bar” but Jyri mentally called a “pub.”
“Do you want a soda or something?” Jasper asked, as they sat down on two stools in front of a long counter. “I’m marking this outing as a company expense, so we don’t have to pay anything.”
Jyri was lost after the word “soda.” He didn’t know what that was, nor was he in the mood to find out. “No thank you.”
Jasper ordered some sort of alcoholic drink. They sat in an awkward silence while the man behind the counter, whom Jasper referred to as the “bartender,” gave him his drink.
“Do you ever feel unappreciated?” Jasper asked Jyri as he took a sip.
Jyri thought about how easily annoyed Oliver got at him whenever he had a question or made a mistake. “Sometimes.”
“No one appreciates me.” Jasper took another sip. “I sign their paychecks, don’t I?”
Jyri nodded.
“But they all just talk about me behind my back, don’t they?” Jasper studied Jyri, who didn’t quite know how to respond to that. For he himself had muttered unkind things about Jasper to Jessica.
Jasper took the lack of response as confirmation, and took a long swig. “Thought as much, but what can one do?”
A few minutes of silence passed as Jasper finished his drink. Then, he started on a second.
“Do you ever get drunk, Yoohoo?” Jasper asked Jyri.
“Yur-ee,” Jyri corrected.
“You ever drink Yooroos, Yur-hoo?” Jasper covered his mouth and snorted. “I meant, drink Yoohoos. Do you like Yoohoos?”
Jyri had no idea what a Yoohoo was. “Can we go back?”
“You want to go back to work?” Jasper asked. “What is wrong with you?”
Other than the fact he’d rather do anything than spend time with Jasper.
“Oh I get it. It’s Jessica.” Jasper shook his head. “You can do better, and I hear she has a boyfriend.”
“I know,” Jyri said under his breath. Why did everyone keep telling him that? Not only that, but why did everyone seem to think he liked Jessica? As more than a friend?
“There are so many other women out there. Why, that girl over there is hot.” Jasper gave a slight jerk of his head towards a girl sitting alone at a table, with one of those “smart phones” everyone always had their nose buried in. She didn’t look hot. Nor cold. She looked as though she were quite content with the room’s temperature.
“She looks fine to me,” Jyri said.
Jasper smiled. “Fine indeed. Go talk to her. Get your mind off that Jessica.”
“She looks busy.”
“It’s an act. I saw her checking you out earlier.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
Jasper let out a laugh. “Come on, this’ll be fun.” Downing the remains of his second drink, Jasper threw down some green bills for the bartender, and half-dragged Jyri towards the girl.
“Excuse me, miss. Is this seat taken?” Jasper asked.
The girl glanced up from her phone. “Yes.”
Jasper ignored her obvious disinterest. “You are smokin’ hot, you know that?”
“Um-”
“This is my best friend, Yoohoo.” Jasper gestured to Jyri, who longed to be anywhere else. “He thinks you’re fine.”
“I’ve- got to go… somewhere.” The girl grabbed her bag and took off.
“Yikes. Bad luck, Yahoo.” Jasper patted Jyri’s shoulder, but missed and whacked his neck by mistake.
“Yur-ee,” Jyri muttered, rubbing the spot he hit.
“I’m sorry, but it’s not good to pine after a woman when there are so many others out there to bang,” Jasper said as they walked out the door, towards the car. “Like, Jessica’s good-looking and I’d totally do her, but you can’t take another man’s woman, am I right?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jyri said. “I grew up in a cult.”
Jasper burst out in a fit of laughter. “Ah, you are one funny dude. Here’s my keys.” Jasper shoved a ring of keys into Jyri’s hand. Jyri looked at him questioningly.
“To drive me back to work,” Jasper said. “Remember? I’ve been drinking so I can’t drive.”
By “drive,” did Jasper actually mean the car? Jyri swallowed a lump in his throat. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“Drive. I don’t know how.”
Jasper laughed again. “How old are you?”
“24.”
“You’re 24 years old and you’re telling me you don’t know how to drive? Come on now.”
“I grew up in a cult.”
“That’s no excuse.”
And so Jyri sat in the left seat while Jasper sat in the right. He looked at all the knobs, buttons, and levers. And at the giant thing shaped like a wheel. Oliver always had his hands around it whenever he’d drive. He also always stuck the key in the side of it, and would yank both levers after the car made that loud noise. Yes, he could figure this out without making a complete fool of himself.
“Come on,” Jasper said. “Start the car.”
Jyri spotted a slot on the side of the wheel area, picked a key at random, and tried sticking it in. It didn’t fit. So he tried the next one.
“Christ, you’d think you were the one who’d been drinking. Here.” Jasper grabbed the key ring, and held out a key with a thick, black end. Then, shoved it in the slot. “Now turn it.”
Jyri turned the key, and the car made a loud rumbling noise. He then eyed the two levers. One stuck slightly up, and Jyri was almost positive he had to move it down. So he tried, but it didn’t budge.
“The button at the end. Push it in.”
“Oh, of course.” Jyri pushed and held the button at the end of the lever, and pushed it down. The car rolled back an inch, causing him to gasp.
“Now put it in reverse,” Jasper said.
Jyri moved on to the other lever, which had a button on the side that he assumed was to be pressed while moving the lever. The letters PRNDL were vertically written along the side of it. R must stand for reverse, Jyri thought. Finally feeling confident, he held down the side button, and tried moving the lever to R. But the lever wouldn’t budge.
“Oh my God.” Jasper leaned his head back, hands covering his eyes. “Is your foot even on the brake pedal?”
Jyri looked to his feet and saw two pedals. One large, one small. He tapped the small one, and the car let out a loud VROOM.
“That’s the gas!”
“Sorry, sorry.” Taking calming breaths, Jyri pressed down on the larger pedal. Then, he was able to move the lever to R. A picture of what looked to be a parking lot appeared on a screen next to the wheel. The parking lot they were in. He recalled Oliver referring to it as a “back-up cam” and described it as a “quality of life change.” Hands firmly on the wheel, he slowly let his foot off the brake, and the car rolled backwards. And continued rolling backwards.
“Turn the wheel, moron,” Jasper muttered.
“Right.” Jyri turned the wheel and the car moved with it. Then, he moved the lever to the N, but the car didn’t move. It only made a loud noise when he hit the small pedal. So he moved it to the D. The car rolled forward when he took his foot off the brake pedal. And lurched forward when he tapped the small pedal. Freaking Jyri out so bad he slammed his foot back on the brake, causing the car to lurch again.
“Jesus! I outta drive!” Jasper shouted.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Jyri said shakily.
“No, you need to learn this, and we’ll get in more trouble if I’m caught driving drunk again. Now, head out of the parking lot and make a right.”
This time, Jyri lightly touched the gas pedal, and made his way to the point where the parking lot met the street.
“Wait for the cars to go by before pulling out,” Jasper instructed.
Jyri patiently waited until there were no cars in sight before hitting the gas once more, and turning the wheel to the right.
“There we go. We’ll make a fine driver out of you yet. Stay in between the white lines. Get in the left lane, we’re turning at the next light.”
And so Jasper continued directing Jyri to work, giving him advice such as “the light’s green” and “you’re supposed to stop at the stop sign!”
“Did you even go to Kindergarten?” Jasper asked Jyri, shaking his head.
“I was in a cult,” Jyri said.
“You've gotta stop saying that. It’s not funny anymore. There’s our building, turn in here.” Jasper then told him to “park wherever” so Jyri took the spot closest to the building. There was a blue square with a funny white symbol painted on the ground. Hopefully it didn’t mean anything. Jasper said nothing about it, anyway.
“That was a sobering experience.” Jasper patted Jyri’s shoulder as they walked up to the lobby doors. “Really exciting. I’m honored to have taught you the most important lesson in a man’s life.”
They walked into the lobby. Faye and Ran briefly looked up from piles of papers scattered around them.
Jasper lowered his voice. “Now don’t forget what I told you about Jessica. She’d be a good bang, but life’s too short to wait around for a specific chick to bang when there’s plenty of others.”
“What’s banging?” Jyri asked.
Jasper let out a chuckle, and gave him a wink with his finger pointed at Jyri, thumb pointed upwards. Then, he pointed at Ran, snapping his fingers. Ran hurried over to Jasper, and followed him out of the room.
Faye began dumping papers back into the box. “What was that all about?”
“No idea,” Jyri said. “Do you know what it means to “bang” someone?’
Faye shook her head. “It sounds unpleasant.”
“I don’t think I want to ‘bang’ Jessica,” Jyri said right as Tim walked by.
“What’s this about banging Jessica?” Tim asked with a grin.
“Nothing,” Jyri said quickly.
“I’m sorry about her bud, but there’s plenty of other women to bang. Um, no offense, Faye.” Tim continued his way to the cubicles.
“The fact he said ‘no offense’ leads me to believe that it’s not a nice thing to do,” Faye said.79Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxc0vOz6Al
and then Add to home screen.