It's all your fault Mavi ! " Dad shouted from downstairs. A body crashing to the floor , probably my mother's . The distinct sound of her going out of consciousness from yet another one of my father's violent acts of love .
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Love .
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It's all my household was built upon . Yet it seemed their household would crumble on it's very foundations . The once great pillars that held them high , began to crack under all their violence , eventually collapsing from hate .
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In their house , love and pain met square in the middle . Practically best friends. One wasn't complete without the other .
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Pain met love and eventually they'd learned to mix together , somehow keeping the fragile balance in this house .
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But under all that were grudges . Planted deep within the walls , painting them a dark colour , each one from one of them . Words that were never heard nor said , actions that betrayed their wedding vows , blows exchanged that cut deeper than the physical.
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It would be because of these grudges I'd never known love .
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Real love .
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Unconditional , without the pricetag labelled pain . Love that didn't request something in exchange . Love that wouldn't take more than it had to offer on the table . My father saying loves a gamble that you ought to keep winning if not you'd lose more than you came with .
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Love...that wouldn't leave me battered and bruised , with the fragments of my heart cutting my flesh open .
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I was a dreamer , always was and would be till my end . I learnt to find comfort within my imaginary walls and world . I controlled everything from the strands of hair on my head to how I felt . I could create my ideal parents .
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The perfect ones...for me .
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Because my perfect wasn't like others . It was all their flaws covered up by dollar store paint , that would slowly chip away and me being their loving son would cover it up , everytime, with no mistakes because that was what I was used too .
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