Note: This Tory…. I mean STORY, is a spoof that’s making fun of Robocop and Cobra Kai. It’s like Robocop meets Cobra Kai. This is an alternative story of Cobra Kai as to what would have happened if Miguel Diaz HAD died in the hospital after being kicked over the railing by Robby Keen on the first day of school… By the way. I accidentally wrote TORY instead of STORY, because of Tory Nickles in Cobra Kai… lol…
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All Valley Highschool… September of 2019.
Miguel Diaz gets kicked over the rail by Robby Keen.
“MIGUEL!!!!” Tory shouted as Miguel slowly fell, fell, fell, then BAM!!!
Miguel hit the rail and lay unconscious on the stairs.
“ROBBY WHAT DID YOU DO!?!” Sam uttered as her voice uttered….
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At the hospital.
“ONE TWO THREE! CLEAR!” the medic said as they tried to shock Miguel back conscious. After the 100th try, they gave up and put the covers over Miguel’s head.
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Sometime later…
America’s HATE pastor, Pastor Steven Anderson, stood next to a reporter being about to speak about the incident that happened to Miguel at the high school.
“Pastor Steven Anderson. What have you to say about….”
Pastor Steven Anderson SNATCHED the microphone out of the reporter’s hand and shouted, “THAT’S WHAT THAT FAGGOT GETS FOR TRAMPING AROUND WITH SAM LARRUSSO! HE WAS TRAMPING AROUND WITH SAM LARRUSSO TO HIDE THE FACT THAT HE’S A FAG! ALL FAGGOTS LIKE MIGUEL DIAZ DESERVES TO DIE! HE GOT WHAT HE DESERVED AT THAT SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Suddenly, Sam Larusso showed up shouting at Pastor Steven Anderson saying, “How dare you speak this way about my friend who’s in the hospital.
Sam grabbed Pastor Steven Anderson by the shoulders and SLAMMED her knee into his groin.
Pastor Steven Anderson went into shock and fell to the ground screaming and crying like a baby like ED 209 did in the movie Robocop, except for the fact that Pastor Steven Anderson was holding his groin while rolling around on the ground and crying like a baby.
“AUHHHH! FAGGOT LOVER! AUHHHH!” Pastor Steven Anderson then vomited as his nose started bleeding.
Sam laughed her socks off.
Suddenly, while vomiting, Pastor Steven Anderson VOMITTED SO LOUD, that the camera lenses the news camera man held cracked and shattered…
PLEASE STAND BY!!!!
….the media screen read.
NO MERCY! ESPEACIALLY FOR A PASTOR WHO PREACHES HATE!!!
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Ten years later…
John Kreese and Terry Silver were head of the Cobra Kai corporation. They were in a conference room with Mike Barnes, Aisha, Demetri, and Kyler along with his bully friends.
John Kreese stood before the meeting saying, “I’m about to introduce to you all, a baddest bad asses of all bad asses. A bad ass that has no fear or anxiety. A bad as that’s going to lunch Kobra Kai… I mean Cobra Kai, to a much much much higher level. It’s a project that’s been in development for ten years. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, a Robo Bad A$$... Debo from the movie Friday.”
The doors opened. Debo came walking through the door looking mean and angry. …well, who did you guys expect? Miguel in the form of a robot???
Terry Silver then took the floor and said, “Now Debo, please pick up the bottle of Pepto Bismo off the table.”
Kyler and his bully friends busted up laughing, simply because they remember dumping Pepto Bismo on top of Miguel’s head ten years ago in 2019.
“Kyler, I want you and your bully friends to take the bottle of Pepto Bismo from Debo and try to pour it on top of his head, AND call him REA,” Terry said.
Aisha, Mike Barnes, and Demetri snickered with laughter.
“TERRY, ARE YOU CRAZY!?!” Kyler and his bully friends said simultaneously.
John then said to Kyler and his bully friends, “Guys, this isn’t a pep talk. It’s an order. And you guys are all going to follow Sensei Silver’s orders, right?”
“Yeah, you better follow my orders, or it’s this…” Terry said as he walked up to the wooden dummy, punched, and kicked all the wooden boards that were attached to it, breaking all the boards.
A holographic image of Bruce Lee magically appeared and said to Terry Silver, “Boards…. Don’t hit back.”
“Okay, who brought the Bruce Lee Hologram!?!” John Kreese asked.
Kyler said, “Sorry. I just couldn’t resist.”
Kyler pressed a button, turning off the holographic image of Bruce Lee.
“FOR GOD’S SAKES DO WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU WITH THE RETARDED PEPTO BISMO!” Terry Silver shouted at the top of his lungs.
Kyler and his friends got so scared, they all peed in their pants. As they ran up to Debo and took the Pepto Bismo from him and tried to pour it on his head, Debo snatched the bottle away from them and said, “THAT’S FOR MY GRAND’MA, PUNK! GIVE ME YOU GUYS’ JEWLRY!”
Kyler and his bullying friends looked at Terry and John.
Terry and John said, “I think you guys better do as Debo says.
Kyler and his bullying friends gave their jewelry to Debo.
“YAH PUNKS NOW HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO COMPLY!” Debo said. Debo was malfunctioning.
Kyler and his bully friends tried running from Debo as Sid was pressing buttons, trying to shut Debo off.
Everyone in the office started panicking.
As soon as fifteen seconds were up…
POW POW POW!!!
Debo uppercutted Kyler and his bully friends one at a time, sending them flying lifelessly across the room.
As Kyler and his bully friends laid on the ground dead, Aisha, Mike Barnes, Sid, and Demetri walked up to them and said, “YAH GOT KNOCKED THE HELL OUT!”
Terry and John said simultaneously, “Kyler and his bully friends… THEY’RE GOING TO CRY IN THE CAR!”
Lol.
Later that night, Jonny Laurence and Carmen were having a party at their house, celebrating the 9-year anniversary of Miguel being brought back to life as a robot known as Robo Bad A$$. Sam and Miguel, I mean, Robo Bad Ass, were still on their way to Jonny’s house where Jonny and his childhood friends were.
Moon, Yasmine, Julie Peirce, Daniel, Amanda, Anthony, Kenny Payne, Devon, and all the other Cobra Kai kids who turned good, were there. Even Ned and Colonel Dugan from The Next Karate Kid showed up with Chosen, sensei Kim, and all the Cobra Kai Sensei’s.
Jonny’s pastor friend prayed with all the party attendees to accept Jesus saying, “Dear Lord Jesus, I believe you died on the cross for me and was raised for my justification, I want your blood to wash away my sins, I now receive you as my Lord and savior.”
The moment they were all saved and were going to spend eternity in heaven because they prayed and asked Jesus to come into their lives, there was a knock on the door.
“It’s probably Sam and Miguel. I mean, Robo Bad Ass,” Daniel said.
But a Daniel opened the door, Hawk busted in shooting up and killing everyone but only shooting Jonny Laurence in the legs.
“Hey, whatever someone’s paying you, I’ll double it,” Jonny pleaded.
Hawk set a grenade on the table and said, “This is for using the Cobra Kai Corperation to rebuild Miguel into Robo Bad Ass and having him beat up bullies across Resita and sending them to Jail. Complements from John Silver and Terry Kreese…. I mean, TERRY Silver and John Kreese!”
“Fine! Blow us all up! We’re all going to heaven because we accepted Jesus into our lives just now anyway!” Jonny Laurence uttered.
Hawk gave Jonny the finger and closed the door as he walked out. Hawk didn’t even let the door hit him in the butt while walking out.
BOOM!!!!
The next day. Hawk, Terry, Tory, Sting Ray, Penis Breath, and Robby Keen were hunting for Robo Bad Ass, when Robo Bad Ass showed up saying, “Hey, looking for me?”
Robo Bad Ass shot Penis Breath eight times.
Sting Ray said to Terry, Tory, Hawk, and Robby, “Don’t worry guys. I beat up those kids at school ten years ago, I can handle a Robocop wanna be. I’m gonna imitate that wrestler from Blood Sport who beat up Monkey Man.”
Sting Ray walked up to Robo Bad Ass, picked him up, and squeezed him.
Robo Bad Ass said, “And I’ll just imitate Frank Dux from Blood Sport.”
Robo Bad Ass head bunted Sting Ray three times, then palm struck him in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him.
Sounding funny, Sting Ray shouted, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET AWAY WITH KNOCKING THE WIND OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Robo Bad Ass did the splits and hit Sting Ray in the nutts.
“AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Sting Ray shouted in agony.
Robo Bad Ass did the crane stance, ready to do the crane kick on Sting Ray, but saw that Sting Ray was in a daze. Robo Bad Ass pushed Sting Ray on the forehead. Sting Ray fell backwards onto a sharp object, which penetrated his back.
“Okay Robo Bad Ass,” Terry Silver said, then he said, “You know who I’m gonna imitate? I’m gonna imitate Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat and kick you with a flying jump kick.”
Terry Silver FLIES at Robocop… I mean Robo Bad Ass with a flying sidekick.
Robo Bad Ass moves out of the way, causing Terry Silver to penetrate into a toxic waste truck with his flying jump kick. All the toxic waste pours out of the truck with Terry Silver. Terry Silver, who is now deformed, limps towards Hawk saying, “HEEELLLLP MEEEEEEE!!!!! HEEEELLP MEEEE!!!!”
Hawk panics while saying, “DON’T TOUCH ME, MAAAAAN!!!”
Hawk gets into a car, and drives off in a panic, accidentally running over Terry Silver. Terry Silver’s body bursts into pieces JUST like that guy in the movie Robocop.
LOL!
Tory approaches Robo Bad Ass with a pipe, ready to smash him to pieces, but then, Robo Bad Ass causes a holographic screen to appear, which shows who he used to be.
“Oh my God, Miguel, is that really you?” Tory quoted.
Robo Bad Ass holds out his hand for Tory to touch it.
“WOW!” Tory said as she touched Robo Bad Ass’ hand and said, “It’s going to take some getting used to. But you look great.”
The holographic image goes to static and vanishes. Robo Bad Ass picks up Tory by the neck, rings her neck, and tosses her against a wall. Tory falls lifelessly to the ground.
Robo Bad Ass now starts approaching Robby.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I give up!” Robby said.
“I’m not showing you mercy anymore!” Robo Bad Ass said.
“Aw come on Miguel, Robo Bad Ass, whatever you call yourself. Come on!” Robby said as he’s backing up.
“My FRIENDS call me Miguel. You call me Robo Bad Ass!” Robo Bad Ass quoted.
Suddenly, an aircraft hovers above Robo Bad Ass, dropping all types of Heavy metal on top of him. Robo Bad Ass is buried in the heavy iron, appearing to be dead….
AGAIN!?! Oh no, not AGAIN!
But wait, while Robby and Hawk, who happened to be the person flying the aircraft, cheered, when suddenly, a rocket hit the aircraft, blowing it to smithereens.
The shooter happened to be Sam Larrusso.
“THAT’S FOR KILLING MY FATHER!” Sam uttered.
Oh wait, Robo Bad Ass, who can now barely move, pushes a LARGE piece of metal off him. Robby grabs the pipe Tory had and starts hitting Robo Bad Ass with it, then he stabs Robo Bad Ass. Robo Bad Ass yells in agony.
“YOU’RE NOT A ROBO BAD ASS!!!” Robby shouted.
Robo Bad Ass emerges a sharp object out of his hand just like Robocop did in the original Robocop movie, and STABBED Robby in the neck just like Robocop did to Clearence Boddicar in the original Robocop movie.
While bleeding, Robby saw an ATM machine, and went up to the ATM machine and pressed 911.
While bleeding, he pressed 911 on the ATM machine again.
Robby fell dead against the ATM machine so hard, that money shot out.
Sam Larrusso approached Robo Bad Ass, having the rap star 50 cent with him. Both 50 cent and Sam helped Robo Bad Ass out of the rumble of metal.
“Thanks guys. Hey, what’s 50 cent doing here?” Robo Bad Ass quoted.
50 cent answered saying, “Because. See Robby Keen over by the ATM machine?”
Both he and Sam looked to see money constantly shooting out of the ATM machine, still burring Robby.
50 cent says, “GET RICH, OR DIE TRYING!”
The money continued to bury Robby’s dead body.
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The next day; at the Cobra Kai Corporation building…
Robo Bad Ass drives up and gets out of the car. Debo approaches him saying, “You’re illegally parked you punk. You REA Pepto Bismo wearing fool! You better give me your Jewelry. IT’S MY JEWLY PUNK!”
Robo Bad Ass gives Debo jewelry.
“There you go. Have a nice BLASTED day. And I do me BLASTED,” Robo Bad Ass said.
Then suddenly, BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!!! The jewelry exploded the minute Debo put it on. It was explosive jewelry.
On the top floor of the building…
While John Kreese was having a meeting with his employees of the Cobra Kai corporation, Robo Bad Ass busts through the door aiming his gun at John Kreese.
However, Robo Bad Ass couldn’t open fire at John Kreese because the word ‘PRIME DIRECTIVE #!’ blinked on and off in his eyesight. The prime directive #1 indicated that Robo Bad Ass’ programing would NOT allow him to be UNMERCIFUL to the head of the Cobra Kai Corporation.
“Hey, Robo Bad Ass what are you doing? How did you get past Debo downstairs!?!” John Kreese asked in anger and panic.
“A little matter we all need to discuss,” Robo Bad Ass looked to all the other Cobra Kai characters in the meeting and said, “You’re all going to want to see this.”
Robo Bad Ass picks up a remote and aims it at a screen, causing a video to play of John Kreese saying, “I had to send Hawk to kill Jonny Laurence and Daniel Larrusso because they made a mistake by creating Robo Bad Ass…. And now it’s time to erase that mistake.”
Everyone looks at John Kreese with anger and disbelief.
“HOW COULD YOU!?!” the people in the meeting asked John Kreese.
“My prime directive says, I have to show mercy to the head of the Cobra Kai Corperation,” Robo Bad Ass says.
John Kreese grabs the landlord and aims a gun at his head saying, “Get me a helicopter on the roof. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!”
The landlord says, “John Kreese…. You’re EVICTED!”
The words, ‘PRIME DIRECTIVE #1’ vanishes from Robo Bad Ass’ eyesight.
“Thank you,” Robo Bad Ass said.
Robo Bad Ass got into a crane stance, getting ready to kick John Kreese.
John Kreese laughed saying, “You expect me to fall for that?”
Robo Bad Ass executes the crane kick. Because John Kreese expected the kick to go to his face, he put his hand up to block his face. But to John Kreese surprise, the kick went to his nutts.
“OHHH MY NUTTS!” John Kreese yelled.
Everyone laughed.
Robo Bad Ass grabbed John Kreese by the color aiming to chop him in the throat while saying, “We do NOT train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. If any man confronts you, he is your enemy and your enemy deserves NO mercy. Live or die man!”
“DIE!” John Kreese yelled.
“WRONG!!!” Robo Bad Ass squeezes John Kreese’s nose and pulls his nose OFF.
“Oh no! I can’t live without my nose!” John Kreese yelled.
John Kreese punched the exterior windows, breaking them. As John Kreese looked at his bloody fists, he jumped out the window, falling 100 TORIES… I mean STORIES down. There I go thinking of Tory Nickles again.
While descending to the ground, so he would go to Heaven, John Kreese prayed this prayer to accept Jesus into the last few seconds of his life, “Dear Lord Jesus… I believe you died on the cross for me and was raised for my justification, I want your blood to wash away my sins, I now receive you into the last few seconds of my life…”
SPLAT!!!
Because John Kreese accepted Jesus, he went to heaven when he died hitting the ground.
Then the little guys from the Wizard of Oz danced around John Kreese’ body saying, “Ding Dong Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai. Cobra Kai. Ding Dong Cobra Kai is DEAD!!!”
Everyone came downstairs to see John Kreese’s body, then Pastor Steven Anderson LIMPED into the scene. Pastor Steven Anderson was STILL sore in the groin from Sam kneeing him ten years ago.
Pastor Steven Anderson yelled, “ROBO BAD ASS, YOU ARE A FAGOT! YOU DESERVED WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AT SCHOOL TEN YEARS AGO FOR TRAMPING AROUND WITH SAM! AND SAM, YOU’RE NOT GONNA HURT ME IN THE GRION THIS TIME BECAUSE THIS TIME, I’M WEARING A CUP!”
Together, everyone said, “Hate Pastor Steven Anderson….. SHUT UP!”
The End.
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and then Add to home screen.