The next day at school, Carmine did a lot better. She still wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but at least she wasn’t zoning out as much. She even managed to pay attention to everything her friends said at lunch. Now all she had to do was get through art. It was her last class of the day, then she was home free – except for track after school, of course. But Carmine wasn’t sure she was going today; it just seemed like a lot of work. And she would much rather be at home. Besides, she could miss a day or two, just as long as she was in shape for the meet next Thursday.
Carmine grinned happily to herself. She grabbed her paints and sat at the end of one of the long tables. Conner sat down beside her.
“Are you all right?” Conner asked.
“What do you mean?” Carmine was getting kinda sick of the question.
“Just what I said – are you alright?”
“Of course I am.” Carmine told him. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, to be honest, you look terrible.”
“I do?” She hadn’t noticed anything that bad. Sure, she might have bags under eyes, but nothing too serious.
“Well, kinda. I mean, you look like you haven’t slept in days. And you’re really pale – almost as much as your friends.”
“Really?” Carmine studied him for a second, trying to decide if he was just exaggerating.
“I’ve been sleeping fine.” she told him. “A lot better the past couple weeks than I have in months.”
“Then are you sick or something?” Conner persisted.
“No, I’m fine. Really – I haven’t felt this good in a long time.”
Conner nodded, but he didn’t look completely convinced. He studied her for a minute before asking, “If something were wrong, you’d tell me, right?”
Carmine blinked in surprise. “Of course.”
She would have really liked to believe it was true, but for months she’d had dreams so bad she was afraid to sleep, and she hadn’t bothered to mention those to him. So if she did start having problems, would she really tell him this time?
“You know, your friends are worried about you.” Conner told her hesitantly.
“Why?” If they were so worried about her, why didn’t they tell her themselves?
“I told you – you don’t look good.”
“Well don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl – I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can. We just worry sometimes.”
“We?” When he said her friends earlier, she’d assumed he just meant Anna and Mia. Did he mean the boys too? So now even the boys were worried about her? And where was this concern a month ago – when she actually needed it?
Conner looked like he’d admitted something he hadn’t planned on. “Well, yeah...” he trailed off.
“So does that mean everyone is worried about me?” Carmine couldn’t help but feel betrayed; did this mean her friends were talking about her behind her back?
“It’s not that we don’t think you’re capable. We just worry ’cause you’re...”
“Not like you?” Carmine snapped. She knew perfectly well that she wasn’t like them; she wasn’t a werewolf or a vampire. She was the only human in their little group. Could he really think that fact had escaped her?
Angrily, she stood up. Class was only half over, but she didn’t care. Even if it meant spending the rest of the period washing and rewashing her brushes, there was no way she was sitting back down next to Conner.
“I have to go.” she told him. “But don’t worry about me – I’ll be fine. Even if I’m not as strong or powerful as any of my so-called friends.”
“Carmine, wait!” Conner called after her. “That’s not what I meant!”
But Carmine didn’t even bother to turn around. She spent the rest of the period at the sink, pointedly ignoring him.
Carmine headed home after school and went straight to her room. She was still annoyed about her conversation with Conner, but just being home made her calm down a little. She smiled to herself as she set her backpack down by the door and walked across the room. It was only 3:30, but Carmine was ready for bed. Just a little nap, she told herself. She pulled the covers up to her chin and nestled her head down into her pillow.
In her head she knew she probably shouldn’t be going to sleep. But what was the harm? How bad could going to sleep in the middle of the day really be? Carmine could almost laugh; and here was Conner asking if she’d been sleeping enough. She hadn’t been in bed five minutes before she was sound asleep.
Carmine found herself standing in the middle of a lush green field. She didn’t know why, but it was where she seemed to see him most often. Not that Carmine minded – as long as she wasn’t back in those creepy woods again, she didn’t care where she ended up.
Recognizing the field, Carmine turned around expectantly, a grin already forming on her face. She wasn’t disappointed. Standing not three feet away was that gorgeous blond boy with his intense blue eyes.
“Hi.” she smiled, her heart beating faster already.
“Hello.” he grinned. Carmine’s heart did a kind of somersault.
She walked up to him, reaching for his hand as she did so. He stepped forward, taking both her hands in his.
“I’ve missed you.” he told her.
“I missed you too.” she leaned in to kiss him. His lips were warm and soft, and he still had that faint cinnamon smell. She ran her fingers through his hair as he held her tight. She could feel her knees start to buckle as the kisses continued. He leaned down with her, leading her into the tall grass.
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Thursday at lunch, Carmine got to the table first, as usual. She sat down at the nearest seat, plopping her backpack on the ground. She put her head down and was almost asleep when she heard someone saying something.
“Carmine!” she heard them say. She ignored it. Maybe if he thought she was asleep, whoever it was would leave her alone. No such luck.
“Carmine! Wake up!” A hand grabbed her shoulder.
“What?” Carmine asked sleepily. She opened her eyes and slowly lifted her head. It was Luke.
“Are you ok?” he asked. “You look horrible.”
“I’m fine. Just tired.” she said. She put her head back down.
“You going to practice today?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” she said. And it wasn’t just the fact that it took away from her sleeping time.
Lately whenever she went, she felt so bad she spent most of practice running with the slow kids. Luke couldn’t even finish a single set with her – Coach Danby was yelling at him after the second lap! But even with that slow pace, Carmine still felt like she was going to be sick after almost every set. So as much as she did like track, she just couldn’t see herself going. She’d been really tired lately, and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she had the energy for that much running.
“Probably not.” she told him finally.
“You sure you’re ok?” he asked quietly.
Something in his tone made Carmine look up. She’d never seen him look so concerned. She appreciated the sentiment, but why couldn’t he have cared like that back when she was still having those nightmares? It seemed to her like that would have been a better time for him to be worried.
“I’m fine.” she told him curtly. Still, she figured she should make an effort to stay awake. If nothing else, hopefully it would get Luke off her back.
“It’s just that I thought you really liked track.” he told her.
That was true. Carmine had been on the team for years. She didn’t even miss practice once when they were stalking banshees last year. But it just seemed like so much work lately. It was the first time in her three years of high school that she’d seriously considered quitting the team.
The rest of Carmine’s friends came out to the courtyard in small groups, squeezing around the little table and talking amongst themselves. Of course Anna and Luke talked about couples’ stuff – Mia and Zev too. Conner caught her attention a couple times, rolling his eyes at the rest of the group.
Carmine found herself smirking along with him, but her heart wasn’t really in it. Whatever they had to say just seemed so boring. And the couples’ talk especially didn’t hold her interest. She really wanted to contribute, to tell her friends all about the guy she might kind of like. But she knew she couldn’t. They’d want to meet him – or at least know who he was. And what was Carmine supposed to say then? She knew full well they wouldn’t understand. How could they? The guy she had wasn’t even real. Suddenly, Carmine felt like an idiot.
She had a crush on a guy who wasn’t even real. True, the dreams she saw him in were the most vivid dreams she’d ever had – sometimes they even seemed more real than her waking life! But how was she supposed to explain that to her friends? They’d think she was crazy for sure.
“I’m going to go to the library.” Carmine announced suddenly, standing up. If she had to hear one more thing that Anna and Luke had done this weekend, she was going to throw up.
“Really? Why?” Anna looked up, surprised.
“I just have a lot of homework to do.” Carmine told her. She saw eyes narrowing around the table, and she was pretty sure almost no one believed her. Still, no one called her on it.
“Ok.” Anna said. She looked disappointed. Carmine almost felt bad – but not quite.
“I’ll talk to you later.” Carmine said over her shoulder.
Carmine made her way off to the library. She thought about taking a nap for a minute. After all, she’d been so tired lately, and no matter how much sleep she got, it just never seemed to be enough. Carmine wondered vaguely if she really was sick. She didn’t feel sick, but why was she always so tired? And her near-obsession with napping was kind of weird, she had to admit. Maybe it was a sign that something really was wrong with her. Suddenly, she didn’t feel like sleeping anymore.
Carmine walked into the library and made her way over to the folklore section, hidden in the back. It had been a while since she’d been here. Somehow, after discovering that her friends all seemed to be either vampires or werewolves, it just felt kind of juvenile. Still, she suddenly needed information, and this was the only place she knew of that might be able to help her.
She sat down on the floor, the smell of books filling her nose. Why had it taken her so long to come back here? She picked up a thick book on demons, smiling. This was the book that had helped Carmine realize there were vampires running around town freshman year. Carmine started thumbing through it absentmindedly, hoping it could help her figure out her new problem.
She spent the rest of the period skimming the book. She almost laughed at some of the information written in there. Now that she’d actually met about half of the beings the book talked about, it was almost funny to read this stuff. Suddenly, she wondered just how accurate the information on demons she hadn’t met really was; there were enough mistakes about the others to make her seriously wonder.
Carmine kept reading until the bell rang. She didn’t find anything really useful, but her mind seemed clearer than it had been in a long time. And for the first time, it occurred to her that maybe she really should tell her friends. Of course, she wouldn’t mention it to the boys – that would just be mortifying! But maybe she should tell Anna and Mia. It was slowly starting to dawn on Carmine that this might actually be something supernatural. And that it might be a real problem.
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and then Add to home screen.