Carmine woke up in a cold sweat for the third time that week.
The clock across the room said 4:32. Carmine knew she was going to be tired when school came around, but she didn’t dare go back to sleep. How could she, with dream still running through her mind? She knew she’d go right back to having that nightmare as soon as she closed her eyes. So instead, she just lay in bed with the light on, wondering how long it would be until she could finally get a decent night’s sleep.
Carmine thought about texting Anna again. She knew Anna almost never slept, and since she lived alone, there was no danger of waking anyone else up or getting her in trouble. Carmine walked quickly across the room to her dresser, grabbed her phone, and jumped back under the covers. She scrolled through her numbers until she found Anna’s – the third one down. She typed out a message, then lay there for several minutes, finger hovering over the send button. But she didn’t press it. Finally, she sighed and exited out of her contact list.
As much as Carmine really wanted to talk to someone, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She’d worked so hard to convince her friends that everything was all right – that sneaking out in the middle of the night to hunt monsters didn’t bother her. She knew her friends had been really impressed with her – that she, a human, was willing to do these kinds of things. And to be honest, it was a source of pride for Carmine too.
But if she called Anna now, admitting how scared she was, all of that would be over. As much as Carmine hated to admit it, the idea of being left out of their adventures was even worse than the idea of going on them.
Carmine might not have wanted to call her friend in the middle of the night, but that didn’t stop her from talking to Anna in first period the next day. She wouldn’t have to tell Anna about her childish nightmares – just feel her out. Maybe all the stuff they’d been through bothered Anna just as much as it did Carmine. Now all she had to do was figure out a subtle way to ask her friend. Carmine grimaced inside; subtlety was never one of her strong points.
She tried to put on a smile as she sat down next to Anna, but she knew it wasn’t very convincing.
“Are you ok?” Anna asked, a look of concern on her face. So much for bringing it up casually, Carmine thought to herself.
“Yeah. I just haven’t been getting much sleep lately.” Carmine admitted. She just hopped Anna wouldn’t ask the reason.
“I’m sorry.” Anna told her.
“I keep thinking about the Dullahan.” Carmine tried to make it sound like a change in topic, not the reason she wasn’t able to sleep.
“It’s really bothering you, isn’t it?” Anna asked, biting her lip.
“I just keep thinking about what a close call it was. Maybe it doesn’t bother you as much because you’re a…you know…” Carmine didn’t say the word vampire out loud, but Anna’s eyes widened nevertheless. Carmine kept right on talking.
“I can’t help feeling like I’m potentially in danger all the time.” She hesitated a second before adding, “...High school’s just been a little more intense than I thought it’d be, you know?”
“I know.” Anna sighed, and Carmine could tell she was remembering all the problems they’d had the past two years. “I’d been hoping for a much more normal experience myself…I know it’s been a lot to ask of you. And I don’t like how we keep putting you in these situations.”
“It’s not that.” Carmine started. She could see Anna was already reevaluating whether or not Carmine could handle any more, and that was the last thing Carmine wanted. What if something else did happen? Would Anna and Mia let the boys come and just leave Carmine waiting at home? How could she be left out of something so important?
Terrifying or not, Carmine still wanted to be needed for these kinds of things; she was the resident expert after all, wasn’t she?
“Maybe it’d be better if I was like you.” Carmine said without really thinking.
“Like me how?” Anna’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“You know…like you and Mia…” Carmine trailed off.
Even though she would never admit it, Carmine hadn’t actually meant to tell Anna that. It wasn’t even true – it was just the stress of the situation. But before she had time to say it was just a mistake, Anna was already looking horrified.
“Are you serious?” she asked, eyes wide. “Why would you ever want that?”
“Well, why not?” Carmine said, getting defensive. Sure, it wasn’t something she really wanted, but it wasn’t that bad of an idea. “At least then I wouldn’t be so scared all the time.”
“Yes, you would.” Anna said quietly, glancing around the room to make sure no one was listening. “You’d be constantly looking over your shoulder, worrying that someone knows about you.”
“But I wouldn’t have to worry about being killed. Besides, everyone we hang out with already knows about you and Mia, so I don’t really see how that would be a problem.”
Carmine thought she had a pretty good argument there, but Anna just shook her head, lips pressed firmly in a thin line. Well, at least now she knew how Anna felt about that.
Carmine had to admit, she wasn’t surprised at Anna’s response. If she was in her shoes, she probably would have reacted the exact same way. She was just going to have to try not to let those nightmares bother her; they were just dreams after all. Besides, what were the odds that they’d have to worry about any more real-life demons? She’d just have to grin and bear it a little while longer. Her nightmares would stop eventually, and things would finally be normal for her.
The next morning, Carmine wearily drove the twenty minutes to school, her mom in the seat beside her. Normally Carmine would have argued with her mom about driving, maybe thrown in a little whining. But today she just didn’t have the energy. She’d been up by four every single night this week, and she was absolutely exhausted.
“You’re quiet today.” her mom said after about five minutes of blissful silence.
“Just tired.” Carmine told her.
“Are you nervous? Is it because of that English test you girls were studying for?”
“Yeah.” Carmine said.
She’d almost completely forgotten she had a test today. Thanks, mom. As if she didn’t have enough to worry about right now. That test had been bothering her a little, but not nearly as much as those dreams. Still, what was she supposed to tell her mom – that school was no problem? That what was really bothering her was the fact that she’d hunted down a demon last spring and hadn’t been able to get over it? Carmine was sure that would go over real well.
“Don’t worry, honey. I’m sure you’ll do fine.”
“Thanks.” Carmine knew she was only trying to be supportive, but it still didn’t make her feel any better. After all, it wasn’t like her mom could really help her.
“It was nice of you three to study at the house.” her mom said.
Carmine suppressed a sigh. Couldn’t they just worry about getting to school without having to make pointless conversation?
“I feel like I hardly ever see you anymore. And your friends seem so nice.” her mom continued.
Carmine couldn’t help but wonder if her mom would feel the same way if she knew what they were. Or about the monster-hunting they’d somehow managed to drag her into.
“We can stay at the house more if you like.” The words were out of Carmine’s mouth before she even realized what she was saying. She was trying so hard to have a normal conversation, to not look exhausted, that she’d just said the first thing that came to her mind.
“That might be nice.” her mom said smiling. Great. Carmine was really going to have to work on this whole not sleeping thing – it was obviously starting to affect her brain. Maybe she could grab a couple minutes before school.
Carmine was so tired, she wasn’t even nervous about the drive. Maybe it was because she was paying less attention to the cars around her – always a good sign; she could only imagine what her driver’s ed teacher would have to say about that. But her mom didn’t seem to be holding on for dear life, which was a definite improvement. So maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all; maybe she just had to get really distracted to be a functional driver. And maybe if she told her mom that little fact she wouldn’t have to drive at all anymore. That would mean twenty extra minutes of sleep coming and going – that might actually be worth it.
Carmine got out of the car and made her way to math. She was pretty sure she fell asleep in class – all she remembered was Anna poking her in the back and Mr. Lowell giving her a kind of disappointed stare. At least it meant she wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of her English test, right? Better to miss a few notes than fail a test. Besides, she could always ask Anna what she missed. Anna took the most anal notes of anyone Carmine had ever seen.
When second period finally rolled around, Carmine glumly got out a pencil, leaving her books in her bag. She really didn’t feel like taking a test, but at least it was in English. Carmine read enough that English actually wasn’t that hard for her. And this was just a grammar test – she didn’t even have to know anything about the book they were supposed to be reading. So, she should be fine.
She filled out the first two pages without any trouble. Actually, this was easier than she expected. It was starting to look like there might be a class she could actually pass – even with her inability to stay awake for a whole school day.
Carmine glanced across the aisle to where Mia was sitting. Her brows were furrowed and she was biting her lip. She tapped her pencil lightly on her desk, staring down blankly at the first page. Behind her, Zev was casually sneaking glances at the paper of the girl next to him.
“Stop that.” Zev whispered, leaning forward. Mia’s pencil stopped hitting the edge of her desk. Carmine had barely heard it, but apparently it had been driving Zev nuts. Mia let out a pathetic sigh and glanced worriedly at the clock.
“Mia.” Carmine whispered so low she barely even heard it herself. But she knew her friend would have no problem. Mia gave a sideways glance at Carmine. Carmine casually slid her paper to the edge of her desk, and Mia looked like she’d just realized it was Christmas.
Carmine wasn’t normally a fan of cheating, especially since it meant a zero on this thing if she was caught. But she was already finished with her test, and she couldn’t just sit there and watch as her friend failed. Especially since Carmine knew how hard Mia had been studying. Mia scribbled furiously, trying to copy down all of Carmine’s answers before class was over. Out of the corner of her eye, Carmine saw Zev eyeing her paper too. He quickly erased something, filing in a new answer.
Carmine turned her head and looked out the window, pretending not to notice either of them. She watched the trees waving around in the breeze for a minute before she closed her eyes. There were still about fifteen minutes left in class – might as well make good use of them. The next thing she knew, the bell was waking her up.
ns216.73.216.13da2
and then Add to home screen.