Nox’s Perspective
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“I was running…I was running, though I don’t know where from. From them, or from myself? I felt my guitar digging into my side, but that wasn’t my biggest concern. I felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks. Damn it, Nox…Get a grip. You’re not a child who doesn’t know better than to cry. But those tears are what make me feel like I’m still alive.
They’ve seen too much, now they’ll surely judge… Or worse, they’ll learn the truth.
The cold air burned my lungs with every breath. I had to disappear. Now. It would be easiest if I could just vanish into thin air. Less problems, less pain for Dad… Dad… I can’t show up at home like that. He’ll know, he’ll notice something’s wrong. He’ll ask questions and watch. Even though I know he means well, I’m tired of it. Being judged by others, He for sure is sick of caring for someone who’s already broken… different… a weirdo who doesn’t fit. The whole thing.” Out of breath, I stopped. I had no idea where to go… The old playground. Yes, that’s where I could go. Nobody would be looking for me there, right? I slowly approached the old gate, which opened with a squeak. The air was filled with the smell of old, rotting wood and rusty metal. I placed my backpack and case by the carousel and sat on the swing. I pushed off, and the swing started with a squeal. I wanted to forget… if only for that one moment. My breathing evened out with the rhythm of the swing. Forward, forget. Backward, breathe. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, and the number and name lit up on the screen: Dad.
But I didn’t answer. I just wanted to forget. I closed my eyes and breathed. My thoughts slowed down. Swinging always calms me down. I have no idea how long I sat alone. But for the first time, I felt happy since Mom… I don’t want to talk about it.
My father is certainly calmer without me…
Maybe I really should…
Disappear…
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At the playground
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Nox continued to sit and slowly swing, the streetlights flashing on one by one, and the air grew cold. His every exhale turned into a cloud of steam. The boy shivered from the cold and wrapped himself more tightly in his sweatshirt. Finally, he reached for his phone, and the screen lit up: twelve missed calls from Remir. Nox froze as he looked at the time.
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11:27 PM
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He should have been home by now, especially since he hadn’t informed his father that he was staying late after school. Nox turned off his phone and rubbed his face with his hands.
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“So, Nox, it was supposed to be an hour…”
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“Nox!” The boy stiffened as he heard his father’s voice in the distance. His hand tightened on the swing chain. He slowly turned around. Remir stood behind him, his gaze tired and filled with concern. The boy thought his father’s face looked older than it actually was. “What are you thinking, huh? You’re not answering your phone. Nox, I was worried about you.” He didn’t shout. He crouched down in front of the boy, who was staring at the ground. His lips trembled slightly and his eyes were glassy. But he didn’t cry. Not this time. He didn’t want to worry his father. Show weakness and his fear of all this.
“I’m sorry, Dad…” he finally whispered.
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“I’m sorry, Dad, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have all these worries…”
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Remir hugged his son. Nox felt his father’s shoulders tremble.
“Don’t ever do that to me again, Nox.”
Nox closed his eyes as he buried his face in his father’s chest. He didn’t say anything. But Remir knew that this small gesture meant more to him than any words.
“Remember, I’m here for you, Nox.”
“Mhm… I’m cold…”
Remir smiled, a hint of pain visible in his eyes, as he stood up from the ground, still holding his son in his arms.
“Come on, son, let’s go home.”
ns216.73.216.13da2
and then Add to home screen.