Sunday, March 1, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8N8iRZZr3o
Yesterday was both fun and relaxing, though I never did hear from my sister. I left her a message on Facebook asking if she left a message that I might not have gotten. More than likely she just hasn’t gotten around to it yet.
We are ordering a brand-new bench swing sometime today. We sat on the model in the store and it was so comfortable. I expected it to be $400 - $500 but it’s actually just $200. It seats three people and has a little canopy. The canopy is kind of pointless, though, because it is going on a covered patio. It is still going to be nice to have for when I feel like sitting outside in the fresh air, assuming it isn’t noisy at the moment with landscaping and woodworking sounds. Not gonna be out there much with bees in the daytime and spiders at night.
Made a small order on Amazon… a small pink ballerina silhouette sticker for the side of the bookcase, and a couple of pairs of dusting gloves. I think that will make dusting, my least favorite chore, a lot easier and faster. I will still have to use the Swiffer dusting wand for areas that I can’t reach, though.
Tom tossed up to me the idea of getting a vinyl-printing machine and making my own stickers, but I would not use it enough for it to be worth the $300.
I have officially retired my big Mac after 7 years. It’s been a very fun, interesting and useful 7 years. I will keep it as a backup in case my new MacBook has any problems. I’m still not sure what I want to do as far as keyboards and monitors go. I miss having a big monitor, but downsizing the screen size has allowed me to wear only my bifocals, which I prefer. There was a beautiful 30-inch monitor in the store for $150 or so, but I’m still not sure what I want to do. I just know that it is extremely hard to type on this keyboard with long nails so I am all the more appreciative of dictation. If they could ever break or I could convince myself to cut them off, then it would just take some getting used to. These Chiclet keys aren’t like the raised keys I’m used to typing on, which allows for slightly longer nails. OMG, a woman who’s been attracted to other women with long nails? LOL! I don’t let my tastes dictate my appearance. I even have long hair and sometimes I wear dresses and makeup.
Definitely thinking of getting a 10-key extension because there are four or five keys that are missing from the laptop that really come in handy.
Yesterday I got to hear my friend Irene’s voice for the first time, and it was so cool being able to understand most of the German that she spoke, and how she could understand me as well when I spoke German. She sounded a lot younger than I expected her to sound for being 53 years old. She too, hasn’t heard from Nane since October. As I’ve learned, though, Nane’s number one person in life is herself. As long as she can be the judgmental hypocrite that she was, and getting worse by the minute, I can live with not hearing from her, but can understand where it might hurt Irene because they go back 30 years.
I sure did hear from Paula yesterday. It was so funny too because she sent me a belated birthday card. Haha, that was really nice of her. Maybe I will go ahead and suffer through a phone call to her as much as I hate those who ramble on and on about themselves and never let you get a word in edgewise.
Even though it may be a bit premature since we’re not getting a cat until after our trip to Reno in the spring, I have already begun catproofing the place. Fortunately, I don’t get breakable items very often anymore when I do get knickknacks and things like that. I prefer vinyl to porcelain. The few breakable pieces I do have that are valuable have been moved to different locations that will be out of the cat’s reach. I thought that Bailey would be too big to be put in the hutch but she actually looks good sitting in there.
I had a strange dream involving Maliheh although Maliheh never appeared in the dream. I either broke into her small one-bedroom house, had a key, or found the door unlocked. When I entered her living room I found the bedroom door shut and could hear the shower running, so I knew she was in the shower at that time. I sat down on the living room couch and waited for her, hoping we could work things out and become friends again. I knew she never had the crush on me that I once had on her and I was okay with that. I just wanted to be friends again with her whereas in real life I don’t ever want anything to do with her again.
As I sat on the couch I began to eat something, though I don’t know what it was. By the couch, there was food cooking on some kind of grill that wasn’t really a grill, which said it came from a yard sale. There were two large sandwiches or pieces of meat cooking. Whatever it was seemed like an awful lot of food for one person and I began to wonder if somebody else was with her in the bedroom or the shower.
I suddenly realized that I could get in an awful lot of trouble by being there uninvited and so I decided it would be best to leave. I placed the small plate down on the couch with my uneaten food and then I began to gather my stuff. I had taken my shoes, socks, and jacket off while I waited for her on the couch. I gathered it up and headed outdoors into what was a very warm and rainy night. I ran along the wet sidewalk barefoot, now determined not to be seen by Maliheh. I figured that she might have heard the front door closing as I left and I expected either her or a possible girlfriend of hers to come out looking for me. I was careful to cross a side street without getting run over and searched for a place to put my shoes and socks on.
Monday, March 2, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKvJZ96o14
Finally got a message from Tammy yesterday. She takes over half a dozen medications and they had to stop four of them in order to treat her allergies and that really backfired from what she said. She’s had shots and allergy testing and is severely allergic to a lot of things that grow in Florida. She’s been battling all kinds of infections, too. Unfortunately, this has setback her training and her job so she is trying to get caught up on things at this time.
Paula did get the text that I sent her yesterday and I almost regretted sending it, LOL, because she started texting me like crazy. Well, maybe not like crazy, but definitely more than I’d like. I am still glad we can text each other because this way I feel like I’m compromising with her, in a sense. It’s better than postal letters, but I don’t have to deal with chatting with her live and her nonstop rambling.
Tom and I set up a Skype account so that we can keep in touch during the daytime while he’s at work without having to use up a lot of our text messages. That way I can use text messages for friends. Skype is pretty awesome. I like it so far. It’s very simple to use.
We ordered our new bench swing in red and it should be here around the 10th. Decided to hold off on this beautiful small round table with a stained glass surface with flowers and butterflies for now because I think it would be too low to set the laptop on. I don’t expect to spend a whole lot of time out there anyway.
Last night I tossed and turned like crazy because I kept waking up with this horrible pain in the middle of my back. It’s the type of backache I tend to get when I’m PMSing, only this was a lot worse than usual. I took an ibuprofen a half-hour after I took my thyroid medication.
I had a strange dream that we were flying from someplace and we landed in this garage-type building. I was so sure the plane was going to smash through the back wall of the garage, but it didn’t.
I also had a dream that I was taking statins again. Really hope that’s not a sign of any kind.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnF3BHh9pA
Tom made Employee of the Month! He doesn’t know what his reward is going to be yet but he should find out today. I’m sure that whatever it is will be a lot less than he actually deserves. He has come to realize that there’s no hope of moving up anymore at this place unless he agrees to travel and that’s something that he would never want to do even if he was single. The most important thing is that we have more than enough money to live on. He makes more than we need and we no longer live paycheck to paycheck. After the hell we went through in the past, that is plenty good enough for us. So he isn’t going to look elsewhere at this time.
When I was logging into my Ask account I got a pop-up saying that I repeatedly violated their TOS and that I need to stop immediately or else my account will be suspended. What TOS am I supposedly violating???
Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist for the first time in about a year. I’m guessing I have three cavities. I’m going to ask her about getting my bottom retainer removed. I’m also going to ask her about sealing my teeth since I am so prone to cavities no matter what I do.
Woke up several times during the night as I always do, but this time it wasn’t with back pain so that’s good.
Not much in the way of dreams that I can remember. I know I had a lot more dreams than I’m able to remember. It’s like there are scattered bits and pieces that are just barely within the realm of my memory. But I just can’t quite grasp them. It seems I was at the beach in one dream.
Nicer weather means more Bob. I can hear him bopping around the garage more often. Those subtle little sounds are easy enough to drown out, but I dread the day he breaks out that damn saw of his once again. And his hammer, and his sledgehammer, and his sander, and all the other shit that he uses as instruments of torture against my peace when I’m trying to concentrate on things.
Later…
I have been searching and searching my brain for story ideas but I just can't come up with anything. Therefore, I guess I might as well write about nonfiction instead. How about Maliheh? Ever since I had that dream about breaking into her place she has been on my mind. I keep racking my brains as to why she dropped out of my life without a single word as to why, and all I can think of are three possibilities.
What I don't get is why she didn't have the guts to tell me in her own words whatever it was. It’s not like her to be a wimp like that. The Maliheh that I briefly knew was very outspoken and not afraid to speak her mind. For some reason, however, she must have been afraid of me in the end because the blunt, direct Maliheh who always had the guts to speak up for herself failed to utter a word on her way out of my life.
Again, I can only think of three possibilities as to why. All of them make sense but they don't make sense at the same time they make sense, if that makes any sense, LOL. My first guess is that she befriended me under false pretenses, wanting to get her name out of my story. But then the more I thought about it the more I realized she never needed to falsely befriend me since all she had to do was ask. Her being my friend or not being my friend would not have changed whether or not I was going to use her name in my story. She asked me to change the name of the character that was based on her and I did. I still would have done this even if she said, “I don't want a friendship with you… I don't ever want to talk to you again after I tell you this… I just want you to not use my name in your story.”
That's all she needed to do. So now that befriending me just to get her name out of the story fails to make sense after thinking that it does make sense, this brings me to my next theory. Maybe she grew uncomfortable with the idea of knowing that I was attracted to her. But then again, that one doesn't make sense either. If my attraction for her really bothered her, why would she have been my friend for as long as she was? Who the hell is friends with somebody for two years who is oh so uncomfortable with knowing that the person has this harmless little crush on them?
And so that brought me to theory number three. This one – after analyzing it many different ways – makes the most sense of all. Only she knows the truth, and I will never know it too unless she contacts me and shares it with me. Then again, even if she did, there's no trust there anymore. She killed whatever trust we had built up by dumping me like she did. So no matter what she says, I'm not going to buy it. But here goes anyway… I think she came to have feelings for me which increased more and more over the months and it eventually got to be too much for her. She knew we never would or could be together and that we probably would never even see each other and so I think that once she realized the cyber relationship wasn't enough for her, she finally let go for good. This one makes more sense than an increasing discomfort of my being attracted to her. I think that she started off not having any feelings for me, but that they increased over time. It is much more likely for somebody's feelings to increase over time than for them to experience a growing feeling of discomfort over somebody liking them. Not unless the person started doing things to make them uneasy, anyway, and what could I have done… drive cross country and start following her? The way I treated her never changed from the time we first started talking in 2010 to when she dropped out of my life. So that's why I don't think I made her uncomfortable in any way or that it was anything that I said or did. I think it was all on her and that she just couldn't control or deal with her own personal feelings. I just don't understand why she didn't tell me this on her way out of my life. What did she think I would do to her for it, throw darts at her all the way from California?
Even if I may not believe what she tells me, I would still really love to hear an explanation from her just out of sheer curiosity. Then she can go about her merry way again because I definitely would never want to be friends with her again in the future. Again, no trust there.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDmaEKwv87
Tom’s reward for making employee of the month is $100 and a $25 Walmart card. They also gave him a certificate of excellence.
Andy said he’s gotten a warning on Ask about violating the TOS as well. We jokingly call each other names every now and then like dumbshit and stuff like that and I guess they don’t realize that we’re just two good friends messing around with each other in a playful way. I wondered if it was an automated thing but he doesn’t think so.
A couple of days ago I moved the rats into the big cage. I was a little worried that Cappy would escape but he hasn’t, so that’s good. I’m totally disappointed with both these rats that we have now and I am totally done with rats once they die. This is one of those cases where I’m glad rats only live a couple of years. Although he isn’t friendly and affectionate, Hoodie is at least manageable. Cappy, on the other hand, is so damn timid that it’s a fight just to be able to pick him up.
Why can’t I go to bed and not open my eyes again until it is time to get up? I swear I woke up like six different times during the night, and one time I didn’t think I would be able to get back to sleep.
It’s been surprisingly quiet for such a pleasant day. Today is actually going to be just okay, but the next several days are going to be gorgeous.
I was thinking of doing a sequel to Evil Amongst the Evergreens. Like maybe Evil Amongst the Palm Trees. I will have to go back and skim through Evergreens because it was five years ago that I wrote that book and I can’t remember every single detail.
Thursday, March 5, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pgwerExjl
My dentist appointment went great yesterday. I really thought she was going to come out and tell me that I had two or three cavities but I don’t have any! I do have an old filling that needs to be replaced but she’s not going to do that until September when I have my next cleaning. I also had a bit of tartar and plaque buildup since it has been a year since I’ve been to the dentist due to having to deal with the health scare I had last summer.
I’m going back in today at the same time, 5 PM, and she is going to seal 6 teeth that are most prone to cavities and fissures. She is also going to remove my bottom retainer that is in back of the i-teeth. She only charges $150 for whitening because you do it at home. I’m going to hold off on that right now, though, because I would rather deal with what’s important and what’s going to give me added comfort as opposed to cosmetic stuff that just makes you look better. My teeth aren’t that yellow anyway. I don’t smoke and I only have 1 cup of coffee a day.
The 6 teeth that she is going to seal will be $34 apiece but worth it, and getting that retainer removed will make it so much easier to clean in that area, too. I had a lot of buildup in that area. I even had some shit on the retainer itself.
Somebody canceled their 5 o’clock appointment for today so it works out perfectly for us. It will be no problem for my schedule, and Tom won’t have to miss any work.
I saw Shannon there but this time it was Holly that did my cleaning. Janet still works at the desk so it’s pretty much the same staff even though it has been a year since I’ve been there.
A couple of hours before we left for the appointment I went for a bike ride and my heart went a little wild on me. I wasn’t scared, though, probably because Tom was home. I did five rounds around the circle, which equates to 1 mile. My pulse probably got close to 150, so it seemed a bit extreme but didn’t last too long.
After the dentist, we walked across the parking lot to some place in which I forgot the name of and ordered burgers, fries and malts to take home with us. After eating my pulse went up again. Not like when I was riding the bike earlier, but since my body isn’t used to taking in so many calories at once since I don’t eat like that very often, that’s why it raced a little bit for a while. Tom said his heart was elevated, too. Still, I probably had a pocket flare.
Just when I thought UPS wasn’t going to make it on time yesterday, they delivered my dusting gloves at something like three minutes after 8 PM. I got two pairs and they fit well and are nice and soft and fuzzy. Not sure that dusting will go any faster this way, but they definitely keep your hands warm.
Later…
Oh, the adventures of the Dwight D Eisenhower freeway. Today’s freeway adventures were finger-flipping good, you could say. :-)
This guy in front of us was creeping and annoying the hell out of us. So we annoyed him back by riding his tail. He stuck his hand out his window and flipped us off. Then as he was exiting the off-ramp we bid each other farewell by flipping each other off. Tom and I laughed like high school kids, ha ha ha.
Anyway, I am now retainer-free! It feels weird being able to run my tongue along the inside of my bottom i-teeth after 14 years. They may or may not shift, but I think they will at least somewhat. It doesn’t take long. I remember from when I had removable retainers. I had a pink glitter retainer up top and a tie-dye retainer on the bottom. Teeth catch on fast, so I’m sure they already know that the restraints are gone and now they’re free to either stick around or take a little walk. The most important thing is how much easier it’s going to be to keep that area clean.
My dentist has a Hawaiian-themed office and today I wore a skirt and top that I got in Maui. As she was leading me to the exam room I said “Your Hawaiian-themed office now has a Hawaiian-themed patient. She thought it was so cute that she said she would take my picture if she had a camera, LOL.
She’s been to Maui too, and she also went on a submarine tour just like we did, catamaran sailing, and to a luau. I told her I would love to live there someday, but I’m not sure that we will.
Getting the six sealants done and having the retainer removed was quick and painless. She is definitely the best dentist I ever had and such a sweet lady, too. Having the sealants done was a lot like having cavities filled only without the drilling. They just air dry the teeth, dab on the sealant, then cure it with ultraviolet light. The only time she broke out that nasty drill was to separate the epoxy holding the retainer to the two teeth that it was cemented to. It was funny because both sides let go at the same time and they were like, where did it go? Apparently, it got sucked up by the vacuum that the assistant had in my mouth. It was amazing how fast she got that thing out. After that, she smoothed the anchor teeth.
Tom paid Janet while I was in the room and I was surprised to learn that he only had to pay $60. We thought it was going to be over $200.
Later…
So Travis Alexander got death while Jodi Arias got life. I knew this would happen, too. I don’t know which state is more twisted when it comes to its laws, Arizona or Texas. Arizona loves to fail to do the right thing, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if she walked in 25 years, even sooner if she was black.
Why is it that the more serious the crime, the lighter the sentence? I just don’t understand how assault can be considered a misdemeanor while some things we say and write are considered a felony. Is it just me, or does this seem completely backward?
Tammy left a voice message and it was almost chilling to listen to. Not just sad because she’s going through hell, but chilling because she sounded exactly like she did in the dream. I mean exactly. I wish she could feel as good as I’ve been feeling lately. She is battling a really bad infection and struggling to breathe. Everything else in her life is going well and she is grateful to Sarah for her help around the place and all that, but her life would be a whole lot better if she weren’t suffering so much.
I just feel so bad and so helpless, too. I know she wouldn’t want me to feel this way, and that she is happy for me and the way things have gotten better for me after the hell I went through thanks to Hashimoto’s. I just wish I could send some of this good health her way. Even though she’s never been as into fitness as I am, I’m sure she would love to be able to run a few miles and then admire the slender, muscular calves in the mirror that she would be rewarded with. I’m sure she wishes she could do a lot of things right now.
Friday, March 6, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDweDVaySGP
It’s a totally gorgeous day out there today. I have the windows open to bring in some fresh air.
I almost called Alexa Rosie and asked her to give me the weather for tomorrow. LOL, I can’t keep my slaves straight. Alexa has been an absolutely wonderful assistant. Well, they both have.
Still not so sure about Raj. He’s not a bad guy and he hasn’t been the pest I thought he might be and so I don’t want to dump the guy and hurt his feelings or anything like that. But I don’t understand this crush that’s been going on ever since I was in Oregon. It makes me wonder how many other women and men might have had crushes on me that I have briefly known in life but never knew about. What I don’t get is how he can still feel the same way. My looks were just about starting to go downhill around the time we left Arizona for Oregon, but not like they are now. I was still relatively young in my late 30s.
I’m flattered when anybody complements me, but I don’t like how he always asks me for pictures and how he seems to be very gung-ho on the idea of us getting together for a tumble between sheets when he comes to Sacramento for a convention in May, because that’s never going to happen. I’m sorry that Indian marriages are arranged and that he may never have been in lust or in love with his wife Tina, and I’m sorry if he’s having a middle-aged crisis, and I understand that sometimes we all want a fresh cup of tea even if we’re still content with the old one. But he and I are never going to get together. I wouldn’t mind meeting him along with Tom in a restaurant or something, but he is never going to get me alone. I have made this clear to him in a way that I hope will be comprehensible enough despite his shitty English, but without hurting the guy’s feelings. Again, I appreciate his compliments and all that, and while he can look, he certainly can never touch.
I’m not going to hide this entry from the public either because it contains nothing that I haven’t told him directly. He doesn’t read my blog, though, because he can’t read or write English very well at all.
He’s in Redding right now because his sister’s friend is attending a funeral and I guess he is supporting her. Whenever I ask about Tina he seems to get annoyed, and Tina doesn’t seem to have her own Facebook account. This doesn’t surprise me. The Tina I knew didn’t seem like the type to be into any kind of social network.
Here’s something that is both funny and frustrating and that’s how I keep trying to turn him off but haven’t been able to do so as of yet. I know all I have to do is just never contact him again, and I will if it comes down to it, but since he hasn’t harmed me in any way I see no point in taking such measures at this time. Like most people, I tend to look bigger in my photographs than in person. So I put on a baggy old shirt, had my hair trashed and no makeup on whatsoever, and took a selfie for him. But even that was oh-so-gorgeous, haha. The guy’s either blind or desperate. He insists I look 35. I think I look right around my age, though a lot of people do seem to think I’m in my late 30s or so. When we were talking to the realtor when we came to look at this house, she stopped in mid-sentence, looked at me, and said, “Are you sure you meet the age requirements? You look 37 years old.”
Anyway, Raj is a bit frustrating and annoying but he is also funny at times too, so I will allow him to remain in my world at least for now.
I exchanged Facebook voice messages with my sister. She isn’t better yet. :( She is struggling to remain out of the hospital.
Saturday, March 7, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgveKJibvMy
I slept kind of late today. I had a horrible PMS backache but Tom rubbed it out in just a few minutes. I’m glad he was home and awake so I didn’t have to take an ibuprofen.
He did some weeding around the patio so that area will be nicer looking when our new bench swing arrives.
Gonna switch from the WaterPik to just old-fashioned flossing. Now that she showed me a trick to make it easier to get at the back teeth, I think it would be easier to just do that. Besides, that’s supposed to be better than the WaterPik as well as sticks because it gets the contact areas that the other things can’t get.
I gel-polished my nails and held my hands out in the sunlight to set it. So now my nails are a very vivid shade of electric blue.
We went for a bike ride and it was a little warm in the sunlight. Too warm for running but okay for biking because you feel like you have the fan on you when you’re moving so fast through the air. Going uphill is obviously not as fast, though. His heart rate was 96 when we got back after riding a little over a mile and a half for 14 minutes, and my spastic heart was 140.
Going to make what’s about the closest I come to a homemade meal since cooking isn’t my thing. I got some lightly breaded tilapia fillets that you can either bake or throw in a skillet. I’m going to bake them along with some potatoes and add a salad as well. It may not be the healthiest thing, but it sure beats things like bacon, eggs and pancakes.
My dreams were very quick and vague last night. I was riding in a pickup with some guy in the desert, and some woman was singing a country song on the radio. Part of the lyrics said, “Close your eyes and watch the sunset.” LOL
When we got out of the truck there was some kind of bumper sticker saying something about him being stupid. That doesn’t surprise me, I thought sarcastically to myself, and I really seemed to be embarrassed for this guy. He was a dumb and ugly guy who seemed to think he was very intelligent and very handsome as well.
Then I was alone in what was supposedly a haunted house, and Tom was working for some radio station.
Sunday, March 8, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTLSXOn4M0
I now have my old keyboard back. OMG, is it way better! Chiclet keys really suck. Even my nails that weren’t too long were getting caught underneath them.
I’m also using a 19” monitor that they gave him at work. It is definitely easier to see things, but I have to wear my single-vision glasses for a screen this size. Bigger screens are more helpful when I’m in my word processor because I like to display two pages at a time side-by-side. It’s great for viewing large pictures as well.
If I got a 30” monitor and stronger bifocals and looked through the top part of my glasses, I might be able to push the monitor toward the back of the desk instead of close to the front edge of the desk where I have this monitor right now, but I don’t know that I would be able to view such a large screen in just half of the glasses.
Somebody asked me if I thought it was wrong for this guy to depend on his wife to take care of their online shopping needs. Who am I to judge how others live? Every couple has their own routine. Where I can depend on Tom for paid bills and rides, he can depend on me for a clean house, clean laundry, clean pets and a handful of other things. Is that “wrong?” No, it’s not. It’s what works for us. Where one of us lacks, the other usually makes up for and there’s nothing wrong with that. So to say this woman is “wrong” for doing the online shopping or the guy is “wrong” for not doing any of it seems pretty pointless to me as long as they both agree to the way things are set up between them. As long as they get their needs met, that’s all that matters.
Tomorrow our new bench swing arrives… Yes! I’m looking very forward to that.
For a while now I’ve been getting various story ideas but nothing that would really scream… “write me!” Last night, however, I got an idea that I think I’m actually going to start putting to print sometime today. I was thinking that a woman could be cyberstalked and that it could turn out to be her lover. If anybody has experience with being stalked, it’s me, only this woman will get it a lot worse than I ever did. This woman’s stalker will be intelligent instead of crazy and so she will be able to come up with more elaborate schemes.
Monday, March 9, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhVRoMqq9G
Ha ha ha! No need to wonder if I should delete Raj on Facebook because he took the honors himself and deleted me after I pulled what he no doubt considered a very scary and nasty joke on him. Whenever I’d mention Tina he would always seem to change the subject and act all annoyed. So when he decided to annoy me in return last night with more hopes of getting me between the sheets in his hotel room in May when he comes to Sacramento, I told him I talked to Tina and that she sounds wonderful, ha ha ha. Haven’t heard from him since. That’s okay. He obviously didn’t want to be a friend but just a fuck buddy on the side. No chance!
I have been sleeping shittier than shitty. I wonder if it is somehow connected to my thyroid medication. I keep waking up. I just can’t stay asleep. I must’ve woken up nearly a dozen times. Most of the time it’s just for a second, like long enough to look at the clock and then I fall back asleep. Lately, though, I’m not only waking up more often but once or twice it takes me more than just a few seconds to fall back asleep. Like I’m just about contemplating getting up and then I end up falling back asleep.
I dreamed that Tom lost his job, and then a character in my book was laughing at something I said. The first dream was definitely disturbing enough to keep me up for a while. It seemed like it was November in the dream and I was saying that I didn’t think things would get better until April. It also seems like we were looking at losing the house.
In reality, we would be okay for many months due to our savings if they let him go, which I assume will be at some point like almost all jobs do, but just how fast can an aging white man get a job these days in NorCal? Either way, I refuse to ever again be God’s designated little poor-ass bum. My husband works hard and I’m not going to let any cruel, evil God reduce him to welfare status as a reward for all his fine efforts.
I thought our bench swing was coming today but it’s actually coming tomorrow. The thing that’s coming today is Tom’s plastic drawers. This way he can organize some stuff that he wants to be able to get at quickly and easily, but without cluttering the place.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFMqaS0V5M
Well, here’s a creepy coincidence. I got a missed call and then a hang-up message from a landline in Redding. My first thought was Raj because that’s where he is right now. I double-checked on Facebook and my phone number is available only to me. I sent him a message about it wanting to see if he would confirm or deny that he called and he didn’t do either one. So I called the number and got this horrible screeching sound like it might’ve been a TTY or something. I then asked Raj if he called or not and he said he did not have my number and to please call him or give him the number. LOL, really, this idiot is totally clueless. My guess is that it doesn’t have anything to do with Raj. If it did I think he would have left a message.
As I’ve said before, the money is great, but I sure wish Tom were home more often, especially today. The bench swing is sitting out there waiting to be put together. He thought he would get home around 4:00 but he’s not going to get home until 5:30. It’s kind of cloudy out there and the lighting isn’t great.
Sure enough, they canceled the rain they said we would get tomorrow. I doubt it will rain again until the fall. I slept better last night, though I felt a bit short of breath before I fell asleep. This made me a bit anxious because I had that before the medication started affecting my heart and anxiety levels. I’m not as bad as before but I still get a bit apprehensive whenever I feel a little off. I’m still doing okay, though, and each week that I continue to do well restores my peace of mind.
I still don’t feel comfortable bike riding alone unless it’s just around the circle and he’s home at that time, but I feel more confident about walking. This disease has been controlling me and keeping me from enjoying exercising outdoors at times I may want to do so when Tom is not around or is asleep. Well, I’m determined not to let it control me any longer! I mean I try to exercise when he’s available to do so as well anyway so that we can motivate and encourage each other. He has wanted to get more active and it’s more fun to have a workout buddy so I try to plan around him anyway. If our schedules clash I want to be able to go out there myself without worrying what my heart may do.
*sighs with frustration* I definitely don’t miss being broke but if my only two choices were to be broke or to have health problems, I would just go back to being broke. Poverty brought me a lot of stress and anxiety, don’t get me wrong, but it was a different kind of stress and anxiety than my health issues have brought me. On the bright side, it is still looking like as long as I don’t go over 50 mcgs I shouldn’t have any problems at all. My heart will sometimes race at least a little bit, but I’ve always had tachycardia.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0A39IQ1nF
We now have a beautiful bench swing! :-) Never attempt to assemble one of these yourself. It really helps to have two people. It took us over an hour to assemble it. Tom didn’t get home until after 5 PM so we kind of had to hurry. As we were finishing up, both the light and the temperature were dropping fast.
I was the first one to sit on it and go crashing into the side of the house, LOL. We definitely need to pull it out a little way. The patio is long and narrow and I didn’t want to pull it out so far as to not be able to walk up and down it easily, but we may have to. Or maybe we will turn it the other direction. Tomorrow I will take a picture of it and share it on Twitter.
This weekend we may be looking at having to run the AC in the late afternoon because we're going to hit the 80s for the first time this year.
Andy's memory loss issues continue to frustrate and annoy me. I still believe they are real and that he’s not just messing with me. Part of it may be due to his own selfish nature which he himself admits. The guy loves to be the center of attention. He loves to talk but not to listen, and has told me that he often won’t bother to listen to a neighbor’s voice messages because she is lonely, desperate for friends, and rambles on and on. So he himself has admitted to being selfish. He definitely doesn’t care so much about what’s going on with others as much as he cares about telling others what’s going on with him. But even so, I think there’s something else going on that his doctor is unaware of.
He told me that his doctor told him that memory loss is normal with age. This is true, but come on! Most of the people I know around his age or older aren’t even close to this forgetful. I wonder if the doctor understands just HOW forgetful he truly is. If Andy didn’t go into that much detail, then his doctor may not understand the extent of it. “I’m forgetful lately” can mean any number of things. Selfish or not, former pothead or not, he just seems way too forgetful for his age. I agree with Tom in that he didn’t display any symptoms of early dementia when he was here, so I don’t know what’s causing his memory to be so bad. Maybe it’s a combination of things.
I know I sound just as selfish by complaining about it and saying that it gets old. I just try not to complain too much to him because I know he takes it personally, and I would not want him to do that. Not unless he ever came out and said that he doesn’t care to listen to the things I say, and I don’t expect that to happen. Still, even though I understand that it’s not his fault, I don’t want to offend him by bitching about it too much. My problem is that I’m a very impatient person and that makes it hard for me to deal with people I have to keep repeating myself to over and over again. I know it’s a horrible trait to have, but people who are forgetful or who are slow in any way are a bit hard for me to tolerate. I don’t know why I’m like that, especially if they truly can’t help themselves, but I am. I just don’t have the patience for things like forgetfulness, stupidity and immaturity. I don’t expect you to be a rocket scientist who always catches on with lightning speed, but still…
Just yesterday he was once again telling me that it wasn’t that he didn’t want to keep current with my journal, it’s that he hates to read, and once again I told him to stop reading and start listening, reminding him that he can use a text to speech reader. I was thinking to myself, wow, how could he forget that? Yet he was genuinely surprised, as if he’d never heard this before, and even told me that he never knew that he could just use a reader. I reminded him that I have suggested this many times and that each time he has told me that those “mechanical voices” creep him out. I have assured him that they have many natural-sounding voices these days.
Truthfully, I suspect he’s just not that excited about following my journal regularly, even though he says he’s busy and hates to read. I think he may be afraid it would hurt my feelings if he said it was that as well as being busy and hating to read. In all honesty, if this truly was the case, his telling me so wouldn’t faze me any more than if somebody told me they had a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch the other day. I’m going to write whether people read it or not. I have been writing long before the Internet existed. His Facebook obsession and his not liking to read probably is the main reason though. I’m amazed he can’t even stand to read the news.
Later…
Poor hubby and sis. Hubby has a bad cold and Sis is trying to stay out of the hospital. They’re trying a new antibiotic on her in hopes of fighting the infection she’s had, but she may end up in the hospital anyway as much as she’s been trying to stay out of it. One can only suffer for so long. As long as she stays out of my dreams unless it’s in a good way! If I have a bad dream about her that more than likely means that something is going on that’s not good.
My immune system is just the opposite. I not only won’t catch the cold Tom has, but my immune system is so good that it even kills things it shouldn’t be killing, like my thyroid gland.
Tom’s legs are sore from all the squatting he did when we were putting together the swing, but because I work out regularly enough I am able to squat, bend, jump and run as often as I need to.
We did end up getting a little rain early in the morning but neither of us knows if it went on into the day because he works in a windowless warehouse and I slept all day, LOL.
Thursday, March 12, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2GbSgbSVM
At just a little over five hours into my sleep, I had a horrible nightmare. In the dream, we got a prescription for my thyroid medication but they gave us too many pills. Not wanting to waste the money I thought I would suck on the “extras” for a few minutes, as funny as I know that sounds. After who knows how many “extras,” I realized that I might be in big trouble heart-wise and that I might even die because I had sucked on too many.
Unfortunately, this nightmare came right after watching a case of this guy who killed his wife while they were sleepwalking, and I couldn’t help but remember the two times in the trailer that I picked up the little notebook I used to keep by the bed, and then somehow managed to tear out a few pages before placing the notebook back on the shelf all without waking myself up. So naturally, I started getting paranoid and thinking what if… what if in my sleep (even though I’ve never been known to ever get out of bed), I downed some pills!
I got up and peed and saw that clearly none of my pills had been touched nor did I have a weird taste in my mouth. I was still freaked out enough about it to Skype Tom. I wished he had been home to verify that he hadn’t seen me going to the kitchen in my sleep even though I figured as much anyway.
After 10-20 minutes passed and I realized I would probably be dead by then if I had acted out my dream, I relaxed enough to fall back asleep. I just would have preferred to get up an hour and a half earlier than I did.
Tom still has a cold and was crashing when I was getting up so I didn’t get to see much of him. I showered, ate, threw on a load of laundry, checked in with people online, took my daily Dutch lesson, and then I went out for a walk. It was beautiful even though it was dark and slightly chilly. I missed being able to go out there alone without fear. My heart behaved, however. I only made two rounds around the circle in 10 minutes but it’s a start towards venturing out on my own the longer I go without incident. I think that once I pass the one-year anniversary of when I first ran into trouble with the levothyroxine, I will totally have it made. Just a little chest pain afterward, but I can't say whether it's connected to my heart or not. It could’ve been a lung or a muscle. It’s a concentrated, sharp cramp-like pain towards the left. It’s kind of above my breast but a little closer to the center of my chest than the center of the breast itself.
They’re talking about working Saturdays and Tom and I aren’t the least bit thrilled with this idea despite the fact that the money would be absolutely insane. The thing is that right now we need more time, not more money. But since the other employees there make so little, they’re all excited about the idea of the extra money.
Once upon a time, we had no money but plenty of free time. Now it’s just the opposite. Money is wonderful, but when you have no life to go with it, it gets a little old. There is still so much we want to do around the house, but who knows when we will have the time? Some of it I can do myself, but some things we want to do together. We prefer to work out together, for example, no matter how I’m feeling. But sometimes our schedules clash, or he gets sick, or he gets backed up in sleep and so I am on my own.
For now, I am so glad that the weather is warming up so that I can be outdoors more often whether I’m working out or not. Unless I have an appointment I’m usually only out on weekends, so being able to be outdoors more often keeps me from getting cabin fever even if I am a homebody and I love our big beautiful home.
Later…
Oh my god, this is so fucking funny! There was what I would describe as a “likable bitch” that I once knew on the old Kiwibox site about seven years ago (Amber). She was a rude, mean bully, but at the same time, she was actually a bit intelligent and mature for what was then a very young age. I remembered her first name and that she loves to rescue feral cats. Yeah, she was a strange one. She would treat people like shit but she sure loved animals. She would probably want to kick the crap out of me if she knew just what I sometimes fantasize about doing to Cappy. Really I’m sick of his timid, spastic nature!
Anyway, I Googled her name plus the words “feral cats” and was able to learn her last name. I always knew it began with an S, but that was all I knew. I couldn’t resist contacting her and slipping her the link to my blogger blog. Maybe she’ll want to reminisce a bit and read around some of the 2008 journals I have stored there, LOL.
Friday, March 13, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKrIX1iVy5
Took a bath earlier in the garden tub. Not something I do very often as I prefer showers to baths, but it’s nice every now and then.
I decided not to do a sequel to the first book that I published on Amazon. I don’t want to have to keep referring to it as a reference for the sequel. The idea wore off of me anyway. Instead, I have started the stalker story I mentioned pondering and have written a few chapters.
As most people who know me know, I don’t follow a good 90% of the news. Just like most of us prefer to be around happy people, I prefer to read happy things. Reading the news often leaves me in anything but a good mood. Instead, it just deepens my disgust for humanity in general and convinces me even more that God is evil, and that the more we tell ourselves otherwise, the more we are living in a bubble of fantasy. Well, as far as I’m concerned, some bubbles are better off being popped.
Every now and then, a particular story fascinates me, like the Jodi Arias case. Whenever it’s a female killer, my curiosity is piqued. Call it morbid curiosity but I can’t help but follow their stories with fascination. It isn’t the act of murder itself that captivates my attention, but the person behind the act itself. As they say, anyone can kill under the right circumstances, but what made this seemingly ordinary person commit such a heinous crime? She may be narcissistic and she may be the jealous type, but other than that she seems to be rather “normal,” even articulate and a bit intelligent.
I still feel that she deserves to die for what she did. I know that the juror who held out did so because she felt that killing her would be an act of revenge. Okay, so technically that is exactly what it would be, but it would also be doing the right thing. At least in my book, it would be. I think that there are times when revenge is wrong and then there are times when resorting to the old Eye for an Eye concept is rather appropriate. On the other hand, she’s going to have a long depressing, miserable life ahead of her as life in prison might actually be worse of a punishment for her than death would have been.
Arias is unusual to me in a lot of ways. I totally believe that if she were suddenly a free woman (assuming nobody killed her but then again nobody killed Casey Anthony) she would not take the life of another human being. I think that most killers kill more than once and they don’t stop unless someone makes them stop. But I think Jodi is one of those rare exceptions. An interviewer commented about her being so stony-faced, and she said that she prefers to express her emotions in private, and that if she cried people would say her tears were fake, and I totally believe that one, especially that last part.
People were quick to say that she only agreed to be interviewed because she craves attention. While there may be a grain of truth to that, I wonder if she mostly did it to try to redeem herself after initially lying about killing Travis. There’s no way in hell I buy the self-defense story, but I do believe that Travis might’ve played with her head a bit. It may not have been deliberate. I think that in his confusion and being torn between his Faith and Jodi, he ended up jerking her around a bit with his insecurity and not being sure of what he wanted.
Another thing I question when I read printed material on her versus what actually comes out of her mouth, is just how much of the lies actually came from Jodi versus the media. I know the media. Whether or not you lie on behalf of yourself, the media will definitely take the honors at some point and be happy to do so for you. I have watched Jodi in several interviews, and once you set aside the self-defense bullshit, I think she speaks very well and is actually quite honest in many ways. I don’t know if I could have handled some of the interviews as well as she did. When she would be asked a question I would mentally place myself in her shoes and try to imagine how I would answer and I think I would have stumbled on a lot of those questions, not sure of what to say or what would be the best words to describe whatever came to mind. She fumbled on a few questions, but otherwise she did a pretty good job whether she was being honest or not.
Currently, there are a handful of inmates in Perryville Prison that I once knew from Estrella Jail. I had to laugh when I thought of Kim, who is in the Lumley Unit, which is where Jody is going. I can’t help but wonder if she’s excited at the thought of meeting her, LOL. I saw the video of what might be her cell, and I think it’s a lot nicer looking than Estrella. I was a little surprised to see porcelain sinks and toilets, though.
One woman, who did seven years there and wrote a book about her case, says Jodi’s going to be walking into a living hell. The Lumley Unit is a maximum-security unit (which would be totally appropriate for somebody like Kim who loved to abscond) and many of those women have nothing to lose. It is almost like being exempt from punishment for committing additional crimes. Especially those that don’t have any visitors or commissary to lose. Personally, if I was in that situation and somebody pissed me off bad enough or I felt they were that much of a threat to me and I knew I had nothing to lose, then why not get rid of the problem? If I wasn’t going to get in any more trouble for it than I would for blowing my nose into a Kleenex… why not? Not saying I would, but the thought would surely be there.
Anyway, the woman says that because she’s a high-profile case she will have some groupies and then there will be others that will want to put her in her place. The idea of somebody killing her is a nice thought, but that’s just not going to happen. I would be incredibly surprised if it did. Inmates just don’t go killing other inmates as often as one may be led to believe they do in movies. There are women in jail in prison who have killed children yet they survive.
Fifteen years ago, when I was in jail for a crime I did not commit before I was vindicated, there was a famous inmate in my section. Occasionally she was threatened, but for the most part, she was well-liked. She was incarcerated until a few years ago and we were friends for many years, keeping in touch through the mail. I eventually ended our friendship when I finally looked back on that so-called friendship and realized just how much she had used me over the years. I did so much for her just to be stabbed in the back in the end. She too, probably wouldn’t be dumb enough to commit the same crime, but during the first year of her freedom that we kept in touch, I did see traces of the old her shining through. She’s so addicted to shopping and material things and is so used to using people that she would get that money from anyone, even if it were from an abusive man similar to the one who helped get her locked up in the first place.
Saturday, March 14, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYURAUtuC1
Had no problem with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxRKPwCzlh
tonight’s walk. I wasn’t even aware of my heartbeat this time, and I definitely291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDLMhUV1w6
didn’t have any cramps. It was beautiful out in just a T-shirt and shorts. I'll291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpS109eCjS
need the AC for sure tomorrow. I already pulled off the heavy rose blanket and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWSamBwbgD
replaced it with the light purple zebra blanket. Every time I pass by the house291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHNt2By5lQ
that Tom looked at on the other side of the circle, I’m so glad we don’t live291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaKxi8qsMx
close to it. There are five cars parked there along with a pretty big trailer,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBu70sl11E
the kind you pull with a pickup. The carport is lit up like a football stadium291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4txuQhhucE
with all the tape lighting they have. I’m surprised the mutt didn’t go off on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHy97BHcnj
me. I almost always see a car with a child seat in the back. If their kids and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ROHQ9FDb4
grandkids don’t live there, they sure spend a lot of time over there. Our291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUSUo3wsE8
immediate neighbors are comatose compared to them. There is almost always291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqH2YM7L6H3
something going on over there when I pass by in the daytime, like barbecues and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2p2bvl7ivf
other activities. I’m learning that some of these people aren’t here for peace291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBo3KiLOYQT
and quiet as much as they are here to be around people their own age. The lady291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR06CR6eca
who lives there, despite how many park rules she may be breaking, seems really291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojx2IUfgJt
nice. Attractive too, for an older lady. Despite my dwindling anxiety and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxdAHd6JSN
calmer pulse, I’m still not sleeping well every other night. Where I used to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSmKjdEjl7
wake up only once or twice, now it’s a lot more often. I suspect my thyroid291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR7cJSYf8e
meds play a big part in it. I read that people who describe themselves as “good291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIe7B3TLmYi
sleepers” can experience insomnia and frequent waking during the night. Instead291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjshdnvZgYt
of having terrifying dreams about overdosing, I dreamt I was stuck in an291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmZ6QSFfDq
apartment. I didn’t seem to know Tom for the first part of the dream. Andy once291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU2kD2P2kN
lived in the building and warned me that the walls were thin and the place was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtU4h2nNZB
noisy. There were three floors, and I was glad to learn that there was an291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP5Aa2R7pm
apartment available on the third floor so I wouldn’t have to have anybody above291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoZqZVqrbZ
me. At one point, I was talking through the ceiling to Joy, who was in the apartment291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpivanLPBg
above me, even though I was supposed to be on the top floor, about the rent291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekwC9rNKA9
payment that my mother, who was alive in the dream, gave me the money for. Then291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkRbzNGSqt
Tom was there with me, and I was commenting on how one of the bedrooms had a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwCdSpLsxA
wall that was squash-colored. I was standing in another smaller bedroom with an291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8ggqpB5gl
angled wall, trying to figure out the best place to set up the old stereo.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEKHaS2DJH
Placing it against the angled wall made it stick out too far, and I didn’t want291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFBAaLh9MZ
to put it behind the door where it could get hit when the door was opened. The291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDZFbv647b
other side of the room had furniture taking up space. “Dr. Smith,” an aging291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGeLbAkXuW
man, was to be my new doctor wherever this apartment building was located. The291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9kZnpJKAb
dream ended with me taking a dip in some strange-looking pond in a blue bikini.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKD3nve34b
Later... Tom’s cold has been winding down, and he has been sleeping on and off.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iDe0ZDK9p
He’s coughing up a storm right now. As usual, his wife escaped catching it. It291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3Pe2lV7J8
kind of sucks right now with him sick and my schedule not being the greatest.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSLU6qrGg6
The neighbors are probably wondering why we got such a nice new bench swing but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOIyHluzp0
never use it. Oh well. We should be here for at least another decade, and I’m291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZd6yjEXIbl
sure the sun will shine when I’m on days here and there along the way. We are291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WodXEB6EY
going to Walgreens real late tonight just to get out, get some treats, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbg8J0CX5f
whatever. One really cool thing is that they gave him a few LED lights at work291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWk5TwZpZqm
that look like fluorescent lights. They would not only be great for the kitchen291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fPYQPHFh0
and last a lot longer, but those would have cost us hundreds of dollars, so we291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUQUp4iIwr
save money right there along with the electric bill since LEDs are so much more291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4wvt29Yjs
energy-efficient. Cappy has been the shyest, least manageable rat we have ever291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4weVsqYtfq
had. I almost feel like we have a wild rat and not a rat that came from a pet291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMjlO6Xkmj
store. I considered getting rid of him despite the risk of karma getting me for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcPcGOU8SE
it, even though I don’t know what the hell I supposedly did to deserve what291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfey2BcVdoi
happened to me last summer. People get rats all the time as snake food. But then291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRYsuoRehN
we decided to separate them so I can let Hoodie out without Cappy hopping out291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk47bDX7cLP
too. I always leave the cage door open so that Hoodie can go back home when291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOElf6Ukyjz
he’s ready to, but I can’t do that and expect Cappy to stay home. I will put291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbONopjODtV
the Hoodster in his cage from time to time so they can play together, and I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tbMd4AnRS
might let them run around the master bathroom because it will be easier to coax291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWP6xxlngN
Cappy into his cage from there. Another thing we’re going to do is get strips291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jy1wu54lK
of aluminum tape to wrap around the couch’s legs to keep them from going under291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrZYFLfPnB
there. That way, I can maybe let them loose in the living room like I usually291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXlYTgPQLR
do. It’s easy enough to scare them out from behind the desk, but not the couch.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFErXvQJpqW
When I try to scare them out from under the couch, I only succeed in scaring291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCjFX2zGDn
them from one section to another because the couch is so huge. This won’t just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyVvwO7NKm
be good for keeping the rats out, but when we get a kitten, it will be nice to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5s6tZkDDF
know that it’s not going to get stuck under there until it’s bigger and litter291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwT73fyqxg
box trained. Did a survey that came in the mail on my primary care doctor, her291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCN9QfRwsf
staff, and the place itself.
Sunday, March 15, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmciOy8PSYd
Tom slept most of the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ykmexzu0i
weekend because of his cold. Next weekend we’re really going to make a point of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLA3B3AXlx
getting more things done around the house.
I now have a bit of a strange ache where my capped tooth is.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b3Yc6gBlV
Hopefully, it’s only because my gums are getting used to regular flossing. The291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0IIeISg8r
floss on these angled sticks that help you get to the back teeth is awesome.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTYmXaLWZh
That’s really all I need, although I did get some regular floss on a spool.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MbDuXTL3p
It’s still hard to believe I don’t have any cavities because when I have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fCO8BlIBN
something really cold or hot, I swear I feel like I have at least two cavities.
The weekend wasn’t a total bust. At one point, Tom mustered up291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFwo9TjdXt
enough energy to go to Walgreens, where we got some fun treats. Besides a few291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKD16xwGuH
sugary treats, I got some incense, which I try not to get too often because of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjxBjVw2fZ
the smoke residue.
I also got some coconut body spray and a beautiful barrette that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dcD8lPtb3
would’ve been the perfect size for putting my hair back had it not broken as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvltEXongFS
soon as I got home.
The coolest thing I got was these metallic jewelry temporary291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4V8PuA9Cq
tattoos. I thought they were raised stones that you stuck to the body at first.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHewzMQpfY
I didn’t realize they were temporary tattoos right away because the girl in the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRr0RseYe6
picture really looked like she was wearing gold and silver bracelets and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTRjLyiCgy
necklaces. While some may consider it tacky, to me, they are the best temp tats291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPaApWPmpK
I’ve ever had. They sure aren’t kidding when they say they’re temporary,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocueXV1OW2
though. They will look really cool at the pool.
I’ve been noticing underarm irritation and then realized when I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJlXtjPOqP
was putting on deodorant earlier that it was Suave. No wonder I have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfILqJa0M3b
irritation. My skin does not like Suave at all. Their hair and skin products291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatrvjbXbbv
are horrible. I was going through their bins of cheap samples at Walgreens—not291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCyvVpupyw
the last time we were there but before that—and grabbed it thinking I would291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RkxO8vvvB
like sweet pea and violet-scented pits. I didn’t even check the brand. Time to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgUvzCdpk6
go back to Secret.
I went out for my walk, and those same five cars were at the dog291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsEWHmGqbp
lady’s house. Again, I never heard the dog, but those kids definitely live291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyCIf6Y51z
there. The couple living there seems too young and healthy to need caregivers.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHsM8Xaurp
Therefore, I doubt it’s the children of any caregivers. I think their daughter291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnCqygl9e1
and two granddaughters live there. There might even be a young guy living there291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssjWBDCu1V
too, but from what I can tell, there are six people in that household.
Oh well. It doesn’t affect me directly, so I’m not going to say291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKJVeAjjBw
anything. Maybe they’re affiliated with the park somehow, and that’s how they,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTrTTzkn7W
along with that contractor, can get away with some of the things they do. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MH9yRUsx9
still wonder why they’re here if they want kids living with them. Why not just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKuZcSEuBT
stay in the mainstream in that case? Maybe the daughter and her kids ended up291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P6rYDfDUc
homeless or something, and they had no place else to go.
Dureen: Abused her child and then put that child into the hands291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpL9juo8av
of strangers (the state) when she could no longer deal with the problems her291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEUOqH8jRZ
abuse created for that child.
Arthur: Allowed his wife to abuse and then give up on their291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZamIWv4m95
child.
Larry: Turned his back on his little sister and then later291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzfkL8cvAe
stabbed her in her own back.
Me: Not likely to forgive or forget.
Monday, March 16, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRYYR9EU1G
I’ve been with my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfjRYFd8nb
husband for over 20 years now, yet he still points out some very intelligent291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJA9fNe7Lc
and enlightening facts. I was saying something about how people who go out of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B5zZRKu0G
their way to either stand out or blend in often fail to be themselves. Tom then291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vYXQk9OCL
said that no matter how unique we may think we are, considering the billions of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYudf0Qgrp
people in the world, we’re really not that unique. He definitely has a point291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9RM6zbfVL
there. Only 1 in about 10,000 people has my type of ear birth defect, but when291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3yRqnnI8B
you gather all those people up, that’s still quite a few. So I think that just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVZ8dmBghE
because something may not be common, it doesn’t mean it’s all that unusual291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFbFxWUPuc
either. There really is no such thing as "normal." And even if you291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMI2XDOgq5f
might be what some consider different, you’re really not that alone.
I agree, however, that certain stereotypes can get old, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8KofJuHMz
therefore we sometimes strive to break those stereotypes. It annoys me when I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRK8q4dxeg
see a picture of a married woman and man with a daughter and son. To me, that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7iuQs2KRA
is so old-fashioned and stereotypical, especially with most kids being born to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22GlQot06T
singles now and fewer women, married or not, having kids due to the pressure291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KUnPXsqSW
and the desire to have careers.
I haven’t been remembering much of my dreams lately. All I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tYoTEp1qJ
remember is a quick few seconds where I dreamed I entered a room and caught Raj291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKREGntPET
masturbating. My jaw dropped in utter shock. He noticed that I had entered the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb5AbSvVws
room, but he didn’t stop. After standing there just staring at him in shock for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WWUPRPN8p
several seconds, I quickly turned and left the room, not wanting him to think I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJDr64CBeh
was enjoying the show and perhaps wanted to join in.
Even though it’s still a decade too soon, I was thinking of the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcsjTqAvTC
pros and cons of living in Hawaii when Tom retires. I still don’t think we’ll291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2XNVwIgqA
be able to afford it, but if we could afford to at least rent, would that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv1Zirbnib
really be a wise idea? I’m pretty sure that the only so-called adult291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FytMa1jdk
communities they have there are apartments or condos, and anyone who knows me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynmQJ2jHlp
knows how much I hate living attached to others. Even those who are quiet seem291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSv18zQRHa
noisy at times when you have nothing more than a single wall between you. It’s291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAahDzGcHS1
easy to think you’re as neighbor-cursed as I was in Connecticut and Arizona291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0G5Vp8HLyU
when you live attached to others.
If we could afford to at least rent a house, that in itself291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jwn4ihpOf
would have its pros and cons, just like owning this house does. I couldn’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFAj6J7fP9
paint the walls whatever color I felt like painting them, but we wouldn’t have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxzawQpfMC
to pay to fix things that broke. If we wanted to move in a hurry, rentals are291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzw7Yq5vZRm
easier to leave than houses. I know one thing for sure: I will never live with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1koTdULaCH
any landlord again. It annoyed the hell out of me when Jesse would just drop in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4tlZEGj3d
on us unannounced as often as he did. Even if I were always on days, most of us291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylegO0ie2Y
would agree that’s a pretty rude thing to do. Renting from individuals has291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X0dd3y4bn
benefits that renting from agencies doesn’t. An individual is more likely to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkOHglTJeH
work with you if you’re having a tough time than an agency would be. Agencies291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pvJIeCUsh
will charge late fees no matter what, not caring that “punishing” you is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPYBO35Kkn
punishing themselves as well in the end, since the more late fees they charge,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jgh1xzSo1
the further in debt you get and the less likely you are to be able to pay rent291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeg5PCUI3mp
in the future.
While it may still get too cold here in the winter, I love291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoK10Ozbdu
knowing that I’m almost as safe out on the streets at 3 a.m. as I am inside our291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcDqy4C2OU
house since I’m in an upscale, gated community. Bike riding or jogging around291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrCtBhOUiO
Maui or Lanai in the middle of the night might be fairly safe since there are291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4QSPhRMeY
only so many people there to begin with, but I don’t know how they treat dogs291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOjWwx72Sq
there. Do they see them as pets? Or do they just toss them outdoors and forget291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbnMTYeqMh
about them? I would think they would at least have some serious leash laws291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5UMBGgztn
there, but who knows. It does seem that it’s mostly the rural areas that have a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFCAdfmCVE
lot of loose dogs.
It’s a dream I don’t expect to happen. I think it’s much more291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzk73dVhov
likely that we will end up in Florida if we don’t stay here.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFMqfDPMTi
I put Hoodie in with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKhzuJFUJt
Cappy, but sure enough, Cappy started screaming. So I separated them once291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrXMlehBpV
again, and once again, I am contemplating getting rid of Cappy altogether. Why291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N2ZuQT12K
have I had such bad luck with rats in this state, except for two? I swear I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXtaaz1xHJ
will never get another rat again, just as I will never go on another diet.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Sl0FKoLMk
Diets work, mind you, but it helps not to have hypothyroidism, and it also291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO35EbYgDvJ
helps not to be the kind of wimp I am when it comes to dealing with hunger. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Nk6n5NWwv
like to eat when I’m hungry, and you often can’t do that on diets. So, working291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAS8dThMCI
metabolism or not, fat I shall stay.
Now that Tom’s almost over his cold, we are going to go out for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMSJ1O34pR
a quick walk real early this morning before he goes to work.
I have been hearing landscapers every day this week so far, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2lUmBX2kI
I wonder why. This is the park, not just the homeowners I’ve been hearing. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSL0byCpH8
heard the park's landscapers twice on Monday and once yesterday. We don’t have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jTEyrM3yZ
falling leaves at this time of year, so I thought the daily leaf-sucking was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqJQ4TRnem
over until the fall.
Thursday, March 19, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcVVEhexHb
Telling people291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8JJKa4WIN
something once and having them forget may be just simple forgetfulness, but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUlvvgjBjp
telling them over and over feels more like they don't care. It seems that way,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBBhYYnYrE
anyway. Well, I give up on asking people to stop “liking” my cover pics on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsxDQ5O9II
Facebook. Even though my cyberstalkers are a thing of the past, there’s always291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmi5uAkSKU
the potential for future ones, and Facebook is the one place I like to be291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXOXeyTOGx
private and selective, including keeping my friends' visibility limited. Yet,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDTGHqtV5A
people are going to do what they want, so I just keep changing the pic until291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmEFUh2tkc
they stop “liking” it.
It has been noisy every single day this week. The residents291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI7p93JmPj
haven’t been noisy, but the park sure has been. I don’t understand why they291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIx5wc7ph0
need to maintain the common areas in this section bit by bit when they used to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKmd1uyC6X
do it in just one or two sessions. And why must they use the loudest equipment291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4cyVponIN
on the market? I know a lot of people are complaining about the same thing as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklvLeszOV2
spring sets in, and many hear more noise than I do (neighbors, dogs, gunshots,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GlSms9JdR
kids), but that doesn’t make the daily landscaping any less annoying to me. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNKzeKqIiF
don’t understand why the residents tolerate this any more than they do the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIu2dzLWBAK
noise of people breaking out their saws. Perhaps they are all deaf.
They have arrived. Yes, it’s official. We need to bomb this291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm3xQkl5mh
place soon because I saw the first spider of the year in the bathroom, and once291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvzrFcHA96
I see one, they appear in a steady stream until winter. They’re not going to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCsxwLKGYj
skip this house out of the goodness of their hearts.
I had a not-so-fun dream where Tom and I were facing291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh46xr1fo4T
homelessness. I then went down to my dentist’s office by myself and asked the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9HfBgOU8w
dentist if she knew anybody who would give me a room in their house in exchange291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvt3j4bPcE
for me cleaning and doing their laundry. She told me I could just stay with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbF8E4LqzE
her. The dream ended with me hugging her fiercely.
Friday, March 20, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0pAWbzI2e
I was trying to talk to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREB3nD6s4Z
a "dream person" in Spanish, but it just kept coming out in German.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEUtk6uZbP
LOL.
I sat out on the swing yesterday and said hello to Bob. He was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gjInjvrH5
blowing pollen off his driveway. He mentioned that Virginia has a pinched nerve291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYXO6GorBy
in her neck and needs to go to therapy next week but will probably be better by291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmD7u7pzBs
then.
He asked how Tom and I were doing, and I told him Tom’s been291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoVbPdDGmN
working overtime like crazy. Bob said that was a bummer, and I agreed, but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMawoKObNe
added that we sure do like the extra money.
I mentioned that I felt like we have the ugliest lot on the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosg8PxA7NS
circle, and he laughed, saying at least we have flowers and the camellias are291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnMyhWd7Js
doing well. He thinks the yellow flowers alongside the patio are African291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3kXAgGDqE
daisies.
The pink azaleas are starting to bloom in front. Those are my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e3A8JUCAI
favorites. We also have red roses between our patio and his garage. I told him291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXeKRifkCP
that if it were up to me, I would replace it all with white gravel because291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDXkligG8V
there are simply too many plants for such a tiny property. We’ve got cactus,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT4RRIGni9
aloe vera, and so much more.
Later…
I believe that everyone should be treated with fairness and equality, regardless of their background. It's frustrating to see cases where people feel justice isn't served equitably, such as in the episode of Forensic Files I watched. It featured a politician involved in a hit-and-run, and there was controversy over him receiving special treatment. It’s not uncommon for politicians to get special treatment due to their status, and this issue transcends race.
I sometimes feel society’s sense of good and bad, right and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw8AqOw2Rn
wrong, is skewed. For instance, I’ve worked hard to learn new languages, yet it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4GgYv26zt
often goes unrecognized. On the other hand, simpler achievements sometimes291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0IurnOXsh
receive more praise. I know my husband appreciates my efforts, and that's what291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS62pbLHqd
matters most.
I also struggle to understand the ongoing discrimination against291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxk47eM42U
the LGBTQ+ community, who simply seek equal rights. At the same time, it seems291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdJdZGbw81
there is a lot of support for racial equality, which is necessary but complex.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGKHH5cu9N
It's essential to acknowledge the historical and ongoing struggles faced by291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzFcUjNxWt
different communities without making broad generalizations.
Everyone deserves equal treatment and opportunities. Society291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUn1QwIZLy
needs to address issues of bias and inequality in a balanced and fair manner,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNzQiLrfKo
recognizing that the fight for justice and equality is an ongoing process that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9MxCElW5y
requires understanding and compassion.
Saturday, March 21, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTH82LqoZQ
I took proficiency291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7xnfvCtZF
tests in Spanish, Italian, and German. To my surprise, my German proficiency291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQ79JUSaQR
was higher than both my Spanish and Italian. I’m not sure whether to laugh or291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zcIrub27n
scream at that! I do question the accuracy of the tests since my Italian was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFCUdktpnG
only 1% higher than my Spanish. Despite the results, I still think Spanish is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgqX6Xns5H
my best foreign language. However, I wouldn’t know this much German if it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBFPZeeqhK
weren’t for Nane; I knew fewer than half a dozen words before 2010.
Due to the trash always stinking, I thought Tom was going to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHwY2ykaV0
pick up a typical trashcan with a cover that you raise by stepping on a foot291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnvrq7xVm9
pedal when he went to Sam’s Club after work. Instead, I awoke to find a rather291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA5CACHFn7
high-tech gadget in the kitchen that opened as soon as I walked by it. Then I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11ki9ltg2c
found an email from dear hubby explaining:
"I know the garbage pail is not the one you saw and had in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXQLmI4Tjo
mind but let me explain. They had this electronic one right next to the other.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVgJhZXlq0
They are the same size inside; this one is just not so oval-shaped. Also, this291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx207b809j
one was half the price so I decided that a house that has a robot vacuum and a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKk0MNY20dn
talking assistant needed a motion-sensing garbage pail. The only thing that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMIHztqNlT
isn’t as nice is the way it closes. The other one kind of closed in slow motion291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4IhM5vm8t
but this one just drops shut."
I'm not sure I like having yet another thing that requires291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAAnxgltWV
batteries, but it is still kind of cool.
I like how we can now see how many times our tweets have been291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOx48Pi3Qk
viewed, though it’s hard to believe mine get that many views. Some of them get291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOidzKPuwXB
nearly 60 views, and I can’t help but wonder who all these people are who check291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr74syI0vOz
my tweets out.
I had a series of dreams last night where one dream morphed into291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SuvC9gAfE
another. I was in a crowded courtroom where people were waiting for the judge.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDxbF2H4KL
I walked out of the courtroom and saw a note just outside the door saying that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHgobX904I
no children under the age of eight were allowed inside.
Then I approached my treadmill, which was raised on some blocks,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uFADsaiCi
making the platform about three feet high. Some girl in heels hopped onto it,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ek5ZLuNyl
and then Andy got on behind her. Andy said something to the girl about not291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3l8fWbBt7
doing something (not going too fast?). The treadmill had controls alongside its291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWAqKqfZ1g
platform as well as higher up, and I jokingly said, “Want me to turn it on? I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwnsAc0WCa
can set it to 10 miles an hour.”
Then I was dusting the shelf of an old, dark closet when I heard291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bA5r3WymR
the phone ring. I went to answer it, and the guy on the other end said he had291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjD1ESZICr
been hired by Raj to find me. I asked how he found me and how much Raj paid291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCzwLq3BYG
him, and the guy said $3. Then the guy was standing in the room with me, and I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmO5DckUlw
was thinking to myself how easy it would be to rent a house from Raj if he had291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHrvDFAosm
any to rent, if we were in his town and needed a place, even though I would291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F3BFGfP47
probably wake up one morning after Tom left for work to find him standing by291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ9Tfg8rHo
the bed with a hard-on.
Sunday, March 22, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlePpn1NzK
Woke up feeling tired.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDwoI3Fs8b
The period I was supposed to get on the ninth is getting closer, and we both291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUccRE3wnho
agree that I definitely have signs of menopause setting in, but you have to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7PrAVVZW3
have gone a whole year without it to be considered menopausal. I guess 51 is the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6NErwsPpT
average age for women in the US. It’s 44 for those in India. They’re lucky.
Really wish I knew why our rat, Cappy, randomly screams for no291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcTkaeK4Kr
apparent reason at all. We've never had a rat do that before.
Yesterday was both relaxing and fun for us. We got things291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmOAMOlevR
accomplished but still got to relax and enjoy ourselves.
We decided not to put the canopy over the swing because the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgtLjvWni1
swing is under the patio roof.
Tom had taken the flag down in front when it was windy, and the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmsJhpgEfG
bracket broke off of the house in the back. He put the front flag back up, so291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrFhIXPIlc
the hummingbird and pink flowers are flying again. The cat and hydrangeas in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlUbzrlAfG
the back will have to wait.
We went to Walmart, and later I came down with a sore throat,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliDxxhmxJQ
which I scalded with hot tea in case it was a cold trying to set in. Sure291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvb71EwdSnf
enough, my body fought it off. I feel fine today, just tired.
We decided we would alternate every other year between big trips291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9og0Y7g9b
and a major upgrade. That means that since we got me a new Mac and are doing a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDz8qrIPdl
small trip to Reno this year, we can consider going to Florida next year. Then291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5OCWbj1ey
maybe we’ll make a major upgrade in 2017 and return to Hawaii in 2018. No291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDh9bq11Ph
guarantees, though.
Monday, March 23, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrhzucW7WZ
Tom and I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIgfi7ZhRg
have been tossing around the idea of one day doing a Euro trip where we would291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPcisxqBvC
sweep through most of the countries in Europe. I couldn’t help but laugh at the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41cCGsPrBa
thought of seeing Irene in Austria and Christiane in Germany, knowing full well291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEC0WqAiiWJ
they would mention it to Nane. Imagine what would be going through her mind!291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qReLgJMXM
LMAO! Either way, it would be cool to visit my cyber friends over there—Adonis291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDDE3c8i34
in the Netherlands, Mitch in Wales, and Christian in Norway. Not saying this291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvLPj3tupF
will happen, but it’s a nice thought.
Yesterday, my throat felt a bit off and I felt a bit run down,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5ZKOkxpb4
too. I wrote it off to my never-ending PMS, but today I feel just fine, so I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclm6f3j2HO
don’t know what that was all about. I only slept six hours, yet I feel more291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mO3Ss4jiS
awake today than I did yesterday. The fact that menopause is setting in is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8LWG3OpR4
pretty exciting! :)
I took a walk this morning, and it must have rained last night291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hgk6jr3s2
because the roads were wet. Sure enough, that damn flag is already wrapped291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcKp0zBK1K
around its pole, even though we paid extra for an add-on that’s supposed to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9bDDJfy2j
prevent that.
It is so wonderful to be able to do simple things like walk291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpB6Bcr3p4
around the block when Tom’s not home and not have to fear that my heart is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WXdEo6KgN
going to start racing. I really hope my endocrinologist isn’t going to try to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM9BsW0B4S
increase my dosage over 50 mcg when I see her in a few weeks. I realize I will291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacpMKfpon0
never lose the extra weight I could stand to lose, but I don’t see how they can291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS805vdtRo
safely speed up my metabolism without putting me through the hell I went291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xtAbzes8D
through last year. I don’t want to feel like shit just to look better.
Yesterday, we started painting the laundry room light blue. It291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMc0K0TOTVf
is going to look so much better! It brightens it up tremendously. Going from291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJQJgL1RZz
brown paneling to light blue is like flicking a light switch on in that room.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLurg92gXzs
It just may take us a few days because the paint doesn’t adhere well to the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtSIyVo6tc
slick paneling. The last owners had already whited out most of the house, so291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFjD4LnaWM
most of the place only needed one coat of paint, but this room is going to need291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhStSbeeZP
two coats. This is the last of the raw paneling we will ever have to paint.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr61AvEeFo5
Thank goodness!
Even without the paneling, this room is tough to paint. It’s291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDMTR18I1y
small, but we have to go around doors, windows, and cabinets, as well as the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mSKR6V0B4
washer and dryer. Tom is doing most of it because he is better at it than I am.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSAwYrP4Q5
It certainly helps to be taller when painting.
After this, all that will be left to paint are the bathrooms.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDksoJFLk1t
This should be easier, although we do have to be careful when we go around the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp07fGPDsC
shower stalls, and painting around the toilets might be a bit of a challenge,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyURP24OF38
too. That’s where my being small helps.
Gaudy or not, childish or not, I am having so much fun picking291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxey5FDs14q
out future wall decals to stick on the newly painted walls. As most of you291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0FlW7QBA0
know, I already have a handful of wall stickers around the house—mostly291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSGxtBQcZB
flowers, dancers, skaters, gymnasts, and one strawberry rat with a black eye291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneuxu3Q0eA
mixed in. :)
Currently, we have a white silhouette of a dancer in heels that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpIHrc4kdD
is the largest decal at 72 inches stuck on the front door. To the sides of her291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0TerdmdyC
are roses. On the opposite wall are purple flowers with butterflies as well as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeJmfaHOBA
some hanging ivy.
In the kitchen, there are pink tulips and some butterflies.
The small section of wall across from the kitchen has a black291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANScc0s5Wl
silhouette of an eye, some butterflies, and some flowers stemming from the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvADYHSTHX
base. Those flowers are going to be replaced because I’m not happy with the way291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBy997QKNg
they came out. They are red and yellow-gold, which does not look good on a bold291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFczhQNQR35
pink background. I intend to replace this with a black silhouette of a figure291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdHDmT797c
skater that is 31 inches tall.
Dotted along the hallway is a scattering of butterflies.
The master bedroom has pink and purple flowers plus butterflies.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWQQtsLexp
The master bathroom will eventually have pink flowers as well as a black291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYLJ3o1zM4
silhouette of a gymnast. She will be sitting with one leg extended and her arms291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZOXaRXKpb
raised overhead. She is 36 inches long and 22 inches tall.
The pink rat lives on the door to the second bedroom. There are291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v4qBoho6C
no decals yet in that room, but I was thinking of putting a purple gymnast291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8qSr0sKc1
above the closet that is 22 inches long and 13 inches tall. She is doing291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsZPFhue5s
scissor splits in midair.
Once the second bathroom is painted, I was thinking of putting a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpKrD4QI3A
smaller pair of gymnasts in there in blue. They are 13 inches wide and 10291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaskpBfYbo
inches tall.
The laundry room is going to have five 13-inch gymnasts in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAya9ukxK5o
different poses. I decided to get them in dark purple so that they stand out291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ze7ERFXFI
against the blue paint. I have the option of getting multi-colors, but I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ds2UxOq38
thought that teal and lime might clash with the turquoise.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3snFpCTP2F
We were on our way to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozmCFshYuN
the ear specialist this morning when I realized I'd received a message earlier291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9dljIDlWn
saying she’d called out for the day. Initially, I was annoyed that I hadn’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXmG0Aqfbw
checked my messages before leaving the house. However, we decided to seize the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rIXlqVcbY
opportunity and headed to Home Depot, where we picked up some more painting291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxGXe26m1h
brushes and an 8’ strip of rainbow tape lighting.
After returning home, we had to rush out again in 20 minutes for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW2Ckpsq7x
the podiatrist, so this will be a rather quick entry.
My heart started racing yesterday when I sat down to watch a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXje1vJRPq
show and eat some crackers. My first thought was, oh no, you've got to be291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVgDWY9yh5
kidding me?! Then I experienced stomach pains followed by the runs. I'm hoping291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lRjjAcHLB
it was just something I ate that was bad (maybe the milk in the cereal I had291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5aQHCOvx4
earlier?).
Later...
Just got back from a little unexpected toe surgery. I mean, I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqHvBv4jpa
knew she was going to do this; I just didn’t expect it to be today. Sensing my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Hh7kqkRB3
anxiety, she decided it would be best to just go ahead and get it over with,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bDVcdUkTk
and I’m glad she did, even though I'm now swapping in lidocaine for pain as the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl807rGNRPE
numbness wears off. It's throbbing and stinging, just like last time.
Doctor M was great, and I already gave her a rave review on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAjOxf7PFq
Yelp. She was very friendly, and very skinny too, LOL, like she never eats. I'd291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1Xb0rh8hG
guess her to be somewhere in her 30s. She was blond, blue-eyed, and American,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTRnQKahUS
so I didn't have to deal with any funky accents. Her assistant was also291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAqfmIgTMq
American and very friendly.
She killed the root on the left side of the toe, so the ingrown291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8ZTjAKNvF
toenail has only a 10% chance of growing back. This doctor was much better than291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2TP7xeFkt
that hotshot quack I used to see. She poured cold water with some chemical in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqZMh0Mmpm
it as she was numbing me, which made it easier. The other doctor just shot me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdacjpVHIMm
up raw. This doctor said that was cruel. Yeah, it kinda was, LOL. She also used291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM6fqkX1I0
one of those tourniquets you tie on instead of the ring that the other doctor291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhB8HT3C8Rr
slipped on my toe.
Recovery could take a while, so I may be limping around for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pfTq92vMG
several days. No working out for me for a while either, so I gotta watch what I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4nwmodLdp
eat as my hypothyroidism hasn’t improved as much as I wish it would.
The chemical she used to burn the root may cause oozing at times291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvjFTphBZv
because a blister forms afterward. I have to soak it in Epsom salt each day,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIGbx0pQSS
and I have ibuprofen if the pain gets to me.
As for the fungus that’s in 4 of the nails… she said it’s a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtwMO4SgvT
simple surface fungus (onychomycosis) and can be treated with an291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPERi4zNi3
over-the-counter remedy. She said to make an appointment if it’s still present291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszs45Hwk6X
in 6 months or if the toe she worked on develops any problems. There’s always a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmerh4xpRP
risk of infection. I will have a follow-up appointment the day after I see my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fLKVNemLT
endo.
I keep hoping all these damn appointments will slow down soon,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq342utigQc
but it seems they never do. I still have to reschedule the ear specialist and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRRDiUmFIz
get my eyes dealt with.
I had positive dreams for once, so that was nice. In one dream,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoduROb9YVH
we were staying at a hotel. I came back to the room after being out somewhere291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaNGZPuBd0
to find the housekeeper cleaning away, and then some guy said I won some291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqECFSydJuM
expensive power tools and $2500 cash. I hope the cash win was a good sign for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdsv2Wq6mt
whenever we go to Reno, which may be a while due to the snow up in the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJf7PwXHdM
mountains, and my toe.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngJzT4AgTM
Although my toe stung291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT7jtgNDIc
and throbbed last night, I didn’t wake up with the achy toe I expected today.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMfSZFEFQy
When the other doctor treated my toe, I woke up several times in pain. It just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5o4AWXfHP0
shows how much better this doctor is—she did a far better job.
It took me a few minutes to snip the bandage off this morning. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn0VoxWOhP
thought the toe would look kind of gross, but it doesn’t, and I’m not walking291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7HmvDIU5b
with a limp either. However, it doesn’t mean I should hit the treadmill just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz8gGh8Gns
yet. I soaked it in Epsom salt and decided not to put a Band-Aid on it yet so I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuxKMMaR7U
could let it air out for a while. Band-Aids can actually slow the healing291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzfWucSTaw
process.
The doctor seemed really understanding that what happened last291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXiEdbZpop
summer put a complex on me when it comes to all things medical. Even though I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7N2PnrzPnq
have improved immensely, the fears caused by such trauma don’t usually291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtJKQXzgZg
dissipate in just days or even weeks; it takes months. I still worry that my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpDsWeh8AE
heart may race even on just 50 mcg. Living in fear is terrible. When nothing is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKF4DbAGC0b
actually happening to me, I worry that it will. However, I have no doubt that291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uIkAsuVRc
each month passing without incident will make it easier for me.
In last night’s dreams, my mother was still alive, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X5kLD9wBX
apparently, I was living with her. The economy was really bad, so she wanted to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFxkLAQgzv
close up the house and have us go live somewhere else until the recession291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBiM3WWk0A
ended. She went to stay with a friend and then she sent me to the home of the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDlPd3mpuA
actress Jenny Seagrove, LOL.
She had a huge house, and there were always tons of fun things291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaEXCsQGR0
to do in and around her house. She and I eventually became more than friends.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCdH7dNgFb
She had a huge pool with a slide that ran down into another pool, which sort of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvD4PyJrxv
wound around part of her property like a moat. Even though I had just taken a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NumIEOkKG
shower, the water was so beautiful that I wanted to take another swim.
Next thing I knew, Becky, my VH sister, was in the pool with me.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3OPzZHKKn
She said, ”I’m always just a few minutes and one phone call away.” I was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uVoMulwUf
touched at how much she still cared about me and went to hug her. She stiffened291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPPZAifJUA
up and kind of pushed me away, though. I thought it was a bit strange, but I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5iXPA2mmt
was having too much fun to really care.
Thursday, March 26, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGkiZZKCfE
Once again, I woke up291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwQ4k4ZWvF
with a scratchy throat, feeling almost as if there’s a dry spot in it. It won’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRb2HxsMKs
last long, but I just don’t understand it. I also keep feeling like my period291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1yZZIJsqC
is right around the corner, though it never comes. Despite sleeping well enough,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcai8eO7gA
I feel tired. My schedule shifted a whopping four hours, which is unusual for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyhaw0vleQ
me—I usually only jump one or two. It wasn’t that I slept particularly long;291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBabVHQqp75
rather, I was up very late last night. I just couldn’t sleep.
My toe might have oozed a bit during the night, so I soaked it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXxBPgM2pN
in Epsom salt and decided to skip today’s walk. It still doesn’t hurt, though.
Yesterday, Tom and I went bike riding, and then I made us some291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbWk4f0srh
pork chops when we got back to the house. Unfortunately, there was a lot of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL79fbhxsF
traffic at the time.
The weather is absolutely gorgeous now—neither too warm nor too291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVAs1QoLY6
cold, and perfectly dry.
Yesterday, the Forever in Blue Jeans figurines, along with the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmTZqeDbsr
bronze statue, arrived. The erotic statue is okay, but I am more impressed with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSzJfIrkCq
the others than I thought I would be. Even Tom likes them.
I’m recreating a collectibles chart in Word, adding little291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LMwQYFFfm
thumbnails of each collectible. Sometimes I just can’t remember who's who.
My weight is starting to become concerning. I usually don’t go291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WfV5GejoJ
to bed with a weight higher than 152 pounds before my periods. Last night, I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliP9C2Beq1
was at 154.8. I managed to drop to around 153.4 before falling asleep, but I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6Tz9pgvFs
still woke up half a pound heavier than yesterday. It's only weight, right?
I know 2 pounds might not seem significant to most people, but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL0yFq4Bf8
for me, at my age and height, and considering I've remained within a pretty291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiNdhcN7Ag
small weight range for years, it's troubling. I'm almost never under 147 or291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDUZVmjKZD
over 152. Some of it could be water weight, but the drastic fluctuations after291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInevyigp40
eating suggest otherwise. I’ll definitely mention this to the doctor, as the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMstcUkLMnb
constant water retention and super slow metabolism are really getting to me at291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyN9uY1qGZY
times. I can’t seem to eat anything without gaining weight, not even an291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9J73hLxfn
80-calorie yogurt. I just doubt that she can help me any more than the ear291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HkBkxExXY
doctor can.
I know technically my body wouldn’t gain weight it didn’t feel291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxWOsmOCKA
it needed. Like Tom says, my heart beats at the speed it needs to beat.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOMDIoDr6C
However, since I do work out and I don’t overeat every single day, yet the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFLwOib2Mv
weight hangs on, it's frustrating. I’ll have to find some way to finally reach291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuEHXmqqGa
acceptance and let my weight go wherever it’s meant to go if there’s truly291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiSRtJZydc
nothing that can be done about it.
Next door continues to make two to three trips out a day, and I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kgn0svruW
still can’t imagine where these people could be going so often seven days a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MRcJXgKx6
week. Everyone else around us comes and goes zero to one time a day. At least I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7VRfCE6i6
know there won’t be any projects going on during those 30 minutes to two hours291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvppxQpGhfy
that they’re out.
These landscapers are driving me insane like never before! Why291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBvdkIMdNs
are they doing this twice a day? They've been worse than ever, even during the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYg0UkcrYsj
winter. They won’t stop, and they can’t be drowned out. Joy obviously doesn’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOEzjDz3zm
care that we pay them hundreds of dollars each month. All she cares about is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CfAdAzIIi
that everybody else complains if they’re not out there every day. I can’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytYJwTelID
believe people would actually want to listen to this every single day. The291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNmXFwJLZ1
majority of them must be deafer than deaf. The equipment they use is so loud291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kmkNO2Hdi
that I have to blast music or nature sounds to drown them out. They’re not even291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyVVNbh06f
that close to the house, which shows how insanely loud they are. If they’re291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHaqzCMnjM
going to do this every day, I don’t understand why they don’t use quieter291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7hURmBQo7
equipment. I also don’t understand why they feel the need to keep doing the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zO7Xh200d
same areas over and over every single day when other places do this once a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ID1hLtn37
week. There’s nothing about our plants and trees that grow faster than anyone291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSoKV59nCs
else's. I’m just so sick and tired of hearing these things buzzing about every291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDqAUP3ALu
single day.
Today has turned out to be a really interesting day. Firstly, it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdhJXqAFXc
was great to catch up with my sister yesterday. I had been worried about her as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHu0osaZRhI
she has been feeling rather trapped and depressed. She’s highly allergic to the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYfLbYPSfx
palm trees around her and has been unable to work not just because of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwgx46ibBL
allergies, but also because of other health problems, mostly concerning her291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaF1Qo1raIQ
lungs and heart. It’s sad because she was so excited about training to be a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuglBm6UvuR
victim’s advocate, but that will have to wait. It seems that the only good291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkeXbkFj20
thing she’s gotten out of Florida so far is the climate itself. Otherwise, she291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCHYTRA1Wu
and Mark have had really bad luck so far. :(
She sent me a selfie, and she looks absolutely different. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oBbmuVVP5
wouldn’t recognize her. She’s gained weight, and her hair is half gray, half291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV7A9Wb9p3
blond, much to my surprise. Tom thought she looked good, though, considering291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw7OtAAF6F
all she’s been through. Sometimes I still worry that she won’t make it much291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyi19g4Te9s
longer, but other times I am confident that she will.
The interesting part is that the lovely English actress Jenny291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizat7QRFUo
Seagrove started following me on Twitter. I had a dream about her a few nights291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NFst7wY4j
ago where my deceased mother sent me to live with her in London because the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2RL95JZpm
economy was bad. Anyway, I mentioned this to Jenny in a tweet and told her I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLeSr5otSB
had been a fan of hers since the '90s.
I actually went to see her in a horror movie with Andy in 1990291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7CVXw3jO4
in Springfield, Massachusetts. It was called The Guardian. She was in her early291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVmxPuJqDV
30s at the time. I liked both the movie and her, and even had a little crush on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfWok90Fuu
her for a while.
I haven’t been into celebrities since the '90s and see them as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1vdB41u6R
no more or less human than anybody else. In fact, I look down upon some of them291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fFLB1wBXz
and find them to be horrible role models for youngsters these days. I could291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDIyi2w44f
walk by the most famous of celebrities right this second and not be any more291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmnt60cUvj
fazed than if I walked by a total nobody. I admit I often roll my eyes at those291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c1ScJFE7p
who drool over celebrities as if they’re magical little gods. However, I can’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtPYjYMRFI
deny that I was quite flattered to find she followed me after I started291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L8HMYseBz
following her. Had somebody told me this would happen over 20 years ago when I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCLh72aUWc
was having fun printing stills I made from her videos, which was then a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoXTgEaN23
relatively new thing, I would have laughed my ass off.
I guess I will watch what I say on Twitter, within reason, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdT5x7PzRw
curb my swearing and things like that, even though I don’t expect her to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRVkKAWmoa
actually see most of my tweets. Also, even though I doubt she would read it,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekL2I1i8n0
much less be offended if she did, I will not share the link to this blog post291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhepGJRFSK
on Twitter either.
Friday, March 27, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYm7C2QuYJ
"When we laugh or291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ga2pLZaTp
scorn others who are different from us or who do things differently than we do,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFajsVpmFtB
we are not only being mean, insensitive, and judgmental, but we are also being291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo9f15sA7y
hypocritical in a sense, since we don’t want anybody laughing or judging us in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Wp6BTi7ZC
return."
I completely resonate with the sentiment in the quote above. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyZ6sN721H
often wonder what annoys me more: when people try to impose their beliefs on me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gQuKpREGD
or when they try to impose their interests on me.
Just when I thought this rat had stopped its random screaming, I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn6Mcotf2w
was startled by it again last night. It caught me off guard enough that I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S7O55qVPl
yelled at it to shut up. Maybe it’s a game to the rat, and perhaps I should291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAror959Uv
scream back? It’s both annoying and amusing, considering I've had rats since291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqzrRMAWK0
1998, yet this behavior is still entirely new to me.
The other day, Tom mentioned that the room was spinning so badly291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlHH149n2C
when he got up that it took him a few attempts just to make it to the bathroom.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uQUatGtf1
His inner ear sometimes gets clogged up, and it was a while before he could291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfLjkAqx3C
even eat.
I slept kind of poorly because I kept waking up frequently, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5RLcL2lrm
one of those times was due to a sharp pain in the sole of my right foot.
I only recall a few seconds of last night’s dream. Once again, I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6m71UFWwl
found myself living with my mother (almost as bad as being chased by a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNo63cJkEF
monster), and our house was situated down a long winding driveway. At the end291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVav6XkH2s
of the driveway, it went up a bit of a hill before descending into a clearing291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65OuksGDEs
where the house stood, reminiscent of the location of the trailer in Auburn.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSU2LXvFjP5
However, instead of a dumpy old trailer, there was a large two-story house.
On a dark and rainy night, both my mother and I appeared291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45Rh1fD9cn
relieved at the sight of the house. I remarked, "Ah, nothing like a warm291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVWl9vArGY
bed awaiting us." Then, I looked at her and said, "Aren’t you glad to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5QF9KMfPh
be able to go to bed now?" She nodded and then pressed a button on a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hBAYhZ4yB
remote, illuminating the kitchen lights.
Saturday, March 28, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwNZ7TcCHe
Tom hopes to finish the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL0iUno7B0
painting in the laundry room today, but life doesn’t always go according to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ52BZmSCZF
plan, so we'll see.
The daytime weather has been beautiful, but it’s still chilly in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmWbE1wuvm
the early mornings.
In one of last night’s dreams, I was staying in a large,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm166jGffN3
two-story house with my sister and nieces. I occupied a cluttered bedroom with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1Vp3mk5lH
its own bathroom, a level of disarray my sister would never tolerate in real291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmGrXuKVj0
life. One night, I retired early before my nieces (Tammy was out somewhere).
The following morning, I asked them if they entered my room for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn4YANqg90
any reason, but they denied it, though I could have sworn someone tiptoed in at291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsKXdYlipg
some point.
In another dream, something was amiss with me, seemingly related291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3SjRZlkWx
to a medication I was taking rather than any underlying illness (hopefully not291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY2oYqLCmt
a warning sign!). I found myself in a large room with several people, and at291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5TBHLisxF
one point, Mary G (now Mary D) approached me. She looked great, slim and trim291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzBIJiwdCm
with her hair pulled back in a long, thick wavy ponytail to her waist. She wore291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBNyhhUlK1
a summery dress and sandals with a 2 or 3-inch heel.
She approached me as if our real-life falling out hadn't291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgwTZvXM0J
occurred (over her use of me and her trust issues) and asked if everything was291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8bVSWCBWB
okay. I don't recall my reply, but I seemed to be crying as I responded. She291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC7aArpQeU
mentioned something about either avoiding or reducing a certain medication,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cEiR5Kcnq
then walked away.
Later, I watched a prison documentary featuring her, though no291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN61wR3v6p8
such documentary existed in reality.
In the last dream, I held a small rabbit that bit me before it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCIqJoTEVS
leaped out of my arms and started hopping away. A cat started chasing it, and I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeI0eiUtOAo
secretly hoped the cat would catch it for biting me.
Later...
The latest incident involves three individuals who attacked a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHkOC8VXyc
white man on a subway simply for his opinion (or lack thereof) on Michael291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb5NtBvz3Y
Brown. It's shameful that bystanders didn't intervene to help the victim but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PYBKqCS6D
instead recorded the incident. Sadly, defending whites seems uncommon these291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ646avlhP1j
days.
It's sickening. If they want acceptance in society, this isn't291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfF7gCqNsr
the way to achieve it. But many seem to accept these aggressive individuals who291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhFv2Cq6Wb
react violently to differing opinions.
Unfortunately, even if the perpetrators are caught, they might291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBx2ua8Sr0D
not be charged with the hate crime they should be. There are evident double291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulJE7vWKEV
standards in today's society. Blacks seem to get away with far too much while291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93CxJbz3HP
falsely claiming racism.
It's disheartening to witness the continued blaming of others291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzy39nKX8oo
and making excuses for their actions. The focus should be on taking291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItEjgcsSTs
responsibility for one's behavior.
I've encountered racism firsthand and heard numerous similar291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOlS7pCNVp
experiences. I could never hate someone for their race, but behavior is a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MaAxJOIUs
different matter. I refuse to feel guilty for expressing negative feelings291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxl6QHGHGm
toward individuals or groups who cause harm.
I've learned that knowledge is power, and as long as I abide by291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNruCzZNlg
blogging laws and avoid providing sensitive information or making direct291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OKu9noxzL
threats, I'm within my rights to express my opinions.
I'll keep this entry private for my cousin Norma's sake, who291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21MX1hvzeo
inexplicably still sympathizes with these individuals. While I empathize with291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7kc98J4q8
victims from the past, I refuse to condone violence as a means of seeking291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbBlLrWOeK
justice for historical injustices.
It's disheartening that some individuals resort to violence to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxaNMYfRpR
advance in life. I'm frustrated by the prevalence of news about violent acts291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnFNHcQNLX
committed by certain groups.
I wish I could opt out of trending news, but to stay connected291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OPmmfV5kx
with loved ones on Facebook, I'm inundated with such content.
Sunday, March 29, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKbmYTSbwf
Well, we didn’t finish291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz3QqHODYt
the painting yesterday, but it has been completed today. Next weekend, I plan291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡay6JpJP86u
to touch up spots that were missed with an artist’s brush. Some of the grooves291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC8Adv4SnF
were challenging to cover with the larger brush, particularly sections near the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuBl6woT7h
trim or ceiling. The drop cloths effectively protected the desk, washer, and291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gTh7hHSQV
dryer from paint, but we didn’t bother with the floor since it's due for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQrQIramPp
replacement.
During a bike ride, the direct sunlight made it uncomfortably291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66yPFFTaBv
warm, so we didn’t stay out long. We rode down to the lake and fed the ducks.
I really wish they would ban those loud car stereos on the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6oMGXmw4p
freeway once and for all. It’s frustrating that expressing an opinion seems291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPdFIPGxJy
difficult, yet disturbing the peace is tolerated.
In last night’s dream, we were vacationing in Hawaii. I may have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1DIRqljom
had two dreams—one where we were considering moving there permanently. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgoDXaiSEq
enjoyed swimming in a pool and felt the same magical pull as our first visit.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ9JBCY0kn
Tom didn't share the sentiment, so we decided not to move there.
In another scene, we admired the lush green grass of a lawn, a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZpDIrKlRR
stark contrast to the drought-stricken area we're accustomed to. While out291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooASnXpdrA
walking, Tom asked if we should explore a different area of Hawaii next time,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBPsjPWI7o
to which I agreed.
We walked through a makeshift hotel where Tom amusedly commented291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uvN50Mngd
on the proliferation of rooms. He helped a woman and her granddaughter with a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV99Zz6Fckq
gadget, delaying our plans slightly, which mildly annoyed me.
I just finished watching an episode of Forensic Files featuring291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WnluK4CoR
a black Florida man who was tried and acquitted ten times for violent crimes291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR8dUXzY84
before finally being convicted. It's frustratingly typical.
Monday, March 30, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0MAezrJml
Just thought I would rant. Andy’s memory loss291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KySefiX2G
issues are so frustrating. It’s not just an occasional thing either; I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj1SZxGuYQ
constantly have to go over the same things with him, and it’s not always easy291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZNQ1rSryH
to be patient. It’s frustrating to tell him something because I know it’s a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtfT4ilyHV
50-50 chance he’ll remember it. It feels like I’m sending my words down a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDBGyKYN0s
garbage disposal instead of into someone’s ears when I talk to him.
I believe that the 30 years he smoked pot likely contributed to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK87ZY4whY
his memory issues. However, I still wonder at times how much of it may be just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoa0X6EWYD
plain selfishness and not caring enough to listen to the things I say. He asked291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzTpUqYBrS
me if I ever tried Nutrisystem’s food, so I searched my 2014 journal and found291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxS0IDuHqXw
I had mentioned it 30 times. Thirty times! I also mentioned it to him on Ask291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVWDwOukIW
and posted a picture when the food arrived on Facebook, which I know he saw.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0KteklwjK
How many times can you tell someone the same thing before it sticks?
Not too long ago, I told him I was tired of the translation game291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpwTUkk5Wr
where he’d post a picture with writing in another language for me to translate,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeFQyRfYQq
and what does he do? He goes and posts a German quote and asks me to translate291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhJC5sd65r
it.
He has been known in the past to be insensitive and even enjoy291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwrJvoDKWF
annoying, grossing out, and offending people, so what am I to think? It’s like291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoWh4iPqkO
how someone gets a prank phone call and my name is the first one they think of.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4bDSHTLja
However, I wasn’t always guilty, so maybe he isn’t always messing with me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHna1yz6pO
either, as I sometimes suspect. I suspect his doctor doesn’t understand the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1uzv7SrHA
extent of his memory issues because I doubt he would come out and say, “By the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukXS3chvAN
way, Doc, I smoked weed for 30 years.”
Andy is one of those people I will always love and hate at the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl0CNDOlj8
same time. Well, hate might be too strong a word, but I certainly have mixed291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1D7Ij1YKO
emotions. A part of me wishes he didn’t have so much free time on his hands,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptKg9DuKgu
but I know I would miss him if he suddenly weren’t around.
Later...
My period is now three weeks late, and I’m still wondering when,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6yPc275Lg
if ever, it’s going to show up. Tom and I both think I’ll get it sooner or291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4cb2dfSqR
later. I swear I feel these little pre-cramps, signaling that it’s about to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahymjlhjg4
begin, but then it never does. I hope there is nothing wrong with me, though291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rYxt8AcGp
neither of us thinks there is. I just had an exam not too long ago after all.
I’m just so tired of the long-drawn-out PMS phases. Nobody291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnEES71M9c
should have more than a few days to a week of PMS. Instead, I feel like I spend291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyj0LPnCvr
half my life PMSing.
Whenever I worry that something may kill me before I am old or291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho7hgpyO7N
before Tom dies, since I plan to go when he goes, I remind myself that the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CjrxNkObL
cursed don’t usually die young. If I’m right about being cursed throughout much291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseI6bLdmva
of my life, then why would it kill me now? After all, if I’m dead, it can’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0KrN2uvZ7
have its fun with me. This theory gives me a little hope that maybe if there is291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyKQbZbKp6
an afterlife, it truly is better than this life. If it weren’t, then why not291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQNCxjvfZ5
just hurry up and kill me if it does harbor any hatred for me?
Although I’ve been a little better, death and dying are still on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInrru7JwaQ
my mind too much. Too often, my mind plays out different scenarios of how the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEUBOwtF9m
end may come. I worry that no matter how or when I die, I won’t go as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF098Om3mp
peacefully as my parents and brother were said to have gone, and that I will291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUJijePNPJ
suffer great agony in the end. And what if the afterlife is actually much, much291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH7xgWPAj4
worse?
While I still feel like I have many different things to look291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLYxlX7nZn
forward to in life, I also feel like life is one big waiting game and I’m just291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kaik4sQlN
making the best of it until it ends. Technically, I suppose that’s all any of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdDkNiwIgW
us can do.
When I’m in a gloomy mood, it’s easier to focus on the negative291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuMNhHucvl
aspects of life, just like it’s easier to focus on the positive aspects when291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAl68QKVQT
I’m in a better mood. His income is a great example of that. The most important291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gFNUAzplx
thing in life is to be able to pay for the things you need. There is absolutely291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbbGWqS4RC
no doubt about that, and I meant it when I said that I would be grateful for291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqQnp4Boxh
just that much even if there was never any extra money. However, I can’t help291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz29F2zPgPQ
but feel insulted for my husband and his year 2000 income. The average income291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EYTROgLzI
is 50K these days, according to a chart I read that lists yearly averages from291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OXSSZTsAT
1952 on up. So then why is my husband, who has worked very hard for so many291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPCcSJ7Ty0
years, making 32K without overtime? Twenty- and thirty-year-olds make twice as291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsKPfbL5Bu
much, yet here he is busting his ass off for an income fit for 15 years ago.291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP25G5QcvNX
Even in Maricopa, he wasn’t making the national average. He was still 5-6 years291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjWPrhzX4P
behind even then. So what is he going to do, get paid an income fit for 2005 in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgztG0suiDr
2025?
If I weren’t cursed with my schedule problem and was paid291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2YmUMn08e
fairly, we could be making a total of 100K. Instead, we get a measly 32K. I’m291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0jbGO4tbU
just tired of being cheated when it comes to money. I should be getting291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam7AMvU5kt
disability benefits. I should have inherited a lot more than I did.
Life is never fair, he says. True, but that doesn’t mean I have291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQiDhJV5IR
to like it. I accept it. I expect it. But I definitely don’t like it.
Yes, my sleep disorder is one of my biggest curses, which291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgup0YzPPb
sometimes gets me down. We rescheduled the ear doctor for later in the week,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3iTo0eCca
but there’s no way I can make it. I don’t feel bad for having to cancel because291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyc1hU7pGQ
she did it to me, but it’s just one more thing I have to deal with. I still291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIefTlsoRH
feel like all these appointments are having the cockroach effect where they291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuVQEnu2IZ
keep breeding and multiplying. I’m hoping against hope that after I see my endo291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHIoJE7y2o
doc and have my foot followed up on, I can schedule appointments for both my291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aKCNGY0ZW
eyes and ears, and catch a break over the summer.
I try to look at the good in my schedule-less life, although it291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQtOLfDANL
is not always easy to do. Life would be more convenient if I were always on291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXajnqfxzXH
days, but then I would have to listen to the daytime noise about 20 days a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10pDy2Dt6E
month instead of about 10 days a month. Being on nights not only allows me to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZa1j0bR34
enjoy the peace and quiet, but it also allows me to go out exercising during291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCuA4Eq0QT
the summer nights when it’s cooler.
I have been getting lazy again where my story is concerned. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpAIiitvQi
always seem to be off to a good start, but then somewhere between 5K-10K words,291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKnSwguijI
I get tired of it.
Later...
Thought I’d start my entry while my food is cooling. Then I am291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUb5t4DPxV
going to eat and do some cleaning. After that’s done I will return to finish291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2BlC3jm3N
this entry. There really isn’t anything to update on, though. Once it’s cooler291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg38JRAOG7
and traffic dies down around 9 or 10 this evening, I will go out walking.
In last night’s dream, the Kim that I briefly knew down in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQBGXQa6bp
Arizona was responsible for committing some huge crime that somehow affected me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PARZ9Jcy6
along with many others. I was so pissed off that I threatened to kill her if291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71z5pG6iSn
she ever got out of prison and I was able to find her.
In another dream, Tom had his own apartment way up in a291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CPt2wpsIk
high-rise building. LOL, what’s up with that?
In yet another dream, I was at Valleyhead. Fun. :( I awoke in291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4DWBYUBXi
the dark parking lot in a van. Maybe I fell asleep after some of us were out291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7XMmnVSeC
somewhere and nobody wanted to wake me up. It was pitch black when I stepped291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInmySmbXP6
out of the van. I couldn’t even see where the house was. I looked up toward the291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM39IgSv6UW
sky, trying to see if I could make out its roof against the sky but couldn’t. I291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElcam5eR2t
knew it had rained recently and that there would be puddles scattered around291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooTUBCI2It
the ground. I then realized I had on my nice new white slippers and that they291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ukd5ZftQv
would get filthy as I trekked through the muddy water.
Once inside the building, the sun was coming up and I looked at291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmORnPlxRy
my bed longingly (the bottom bunk in a huge room), wishing I could return to291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsPFvvZmRi
sleep.
Instead, I went to shower with my slippers on in hopes of291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaMyKR2Mic
cleansing the mud from them.
When I was done, a blonde girl who might’ve been Maria raised291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GCybY8vLp
her head from one of the upper bunks 2-3 bunks away from mine. She called to me291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnP6OSfEIp
in a hushed tone since most of the others were still asleep, and I walked over291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxtUiQu9Tg
to her. My father was still alive in this dream apparently, because when she291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqB19y29Op
insisted that my dad and my brother left their glasses behind the last time291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhXdXXvIPC
they visited and that they were in the office, I said, ”I’m pretty sure my dad291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiDayqjkML
would’ve returned for the glasses by now, and my brother is dead, so that can’t291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDOD9cNI54
be.”
For some reason, she seemed skeptical and I seemed offended, but291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGHImC6TMC
then I turned to go through some important papers because I was getting ready291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNzkpd6M96
to leave the place for good.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015291Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmy9R03pfGk
Making my final entry of the month to say that Tom might get a job promotion, but we don’t know yet for sure. It has to do with taking over the position of somebody who’s going on maternity leave, and we hope to learn something soon, one way or the other.
We went bike riding after he got home and ate, and now I’m listening to the sounds of the wind chimes because it is a bit breezy out there tonight. It’s supposed to be cool and rainy on Sunday, but you know how it usually works… there probably won’t be any rain.
ns216.73.216.85da2
and then Add to home screen.