" I Don’t Think Anyone Would Notice If I Stopped Showing Up" - #2 — Even When I’m in the Room, It Feels Like I’m Not

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlcIJKtLFO

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwZOf0mC4U

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt3O70zcqf

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLDefYt9Ul

Lena sat beside me in class today.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMIh9iYIVV
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7Kl7TGSZp
She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”

I said, “Yeah, just tired.”214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2UUBQCGtm
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6u3L2YIEi
She smiled like that was enough.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQypuAwHeUL
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyTfW91XNd
I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.

It worked. It always does.

Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW7xnRe3D5
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk28EzisPQ
Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.

I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQrAPSA9zV
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwlWzZXIcl
Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.

I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAwfw5qd1N
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ360Qi6iUiW
I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz3mSghDao
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KvG5TfC9X
But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.

It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScOwqK75w2
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ315cbsmeBj
I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIFQSnYpQx
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRLWuYGsLK
Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTb1mckFOs
“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKwQZ5wvOV

But no one ever does.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9viCrD7Pu
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6Gmtkr1g9
They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.

And I don’t blame them.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprWBJXa2DF
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TEPivU8iS
I’ve made it easy.

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszTDI0Ulql

I left my journal open on purpose this time.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiq7PpJPHT
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofZGnMYGn4
Page bookmarked.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC0ranjLhr
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2IZp7fWJL
Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2stMyD0ER
“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0QAqKGt9r

I didn’t lock my room when I left.214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEC3Vb3YEz
214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BDS6skyTt
I just want to see who actually comes looking.

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cupi7w80G

Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyMAkmaOy6

Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3gq6QDByC

214Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSIfiFWNsc

ns216.73.216.139da2