I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2qWd9r1F5
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ9cCy9z9T
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIVEtdHDSh
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNwVK3vBC9
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M0ZWxte7H
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOJIgGnSKe
Just silence.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iKSTcQgqr
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzkATwfEbh
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVO8dsjywZ
But instead, I turned left.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8QygOdxuz
Down to the garage level.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXVR6Fe5YP
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbwbdOsnI7
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1CPX6gokW
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ088Em9oQki
Same humming vending machine.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpajAEQhTI0
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbyYz2Y3HN
My father's would've been three from the end.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAc9ZasCKn
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL7I2ETLtR
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6CuIdWfDT
Boots too clean for the garage.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAaMbfDEUR
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTSCvCVFcU
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6GZjCaNyy
I could barely see past the brim.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyT6X5kZS9D
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZZmNKqHCL
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDCpvK1hyE
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6MQ9HSGbd
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkWkprUkJO
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihb2QcQDdc
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzvJlpFF9E
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOwlnAzuep
The way my mother cried without sound.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1rMXvGg64
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljhxXjH1m7
In the masjids.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtHubED2Tc
At the community center.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcUqNC4AgP
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCRSro8npQ
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SpoO9c3jv
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuOXbjgOCr
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Yyi6WEtI5
Access.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc4MqFa4Yt
An education I never dreamed of affording.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeAolvNm0T
Tutors. Travel.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZqim2UDwR
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQJpsHfa6d
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBT0WdyuJz
I learned quickly to keep my distance.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHBRBHUZHZ
To look, but not linger.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn74mm3FJUG
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDcDyNcbxM
Closed my eyes.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicPq7LuJ7J
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94tSuVtR6o
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLcryehQln
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RmQeBDKtQ
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM4i5Wniqe
No chatter. No phones ringing.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLifKvK2Yx
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxEIxGA7Le
Too early.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3OiUNhkNy
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVU7IgFOj1
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YWvLwef0e
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQkmMhOzgX
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqbvKFGDuO
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEyqMB6JDA
My stomach knotted.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctDFdDwQ7I
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYh5dGW8rI
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaabWyz9zS
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMvHhDAu6m
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtVunjnFzN
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7IQyqYDQw
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71h5Ej01oz
No.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp3RVWxPc1
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6MYuJbktj
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKXpmC8qRp
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoSqgorxzC
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcxDGyxAN8
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRwLKVBlRU
and then Add to home screen.