It has been a while since Zeal has contacted Kaelix, since the day he left for university. Their last conversation ended with an mp3 file titled “Arrivederci”, Italian for until we meet again. It was his parting gift for Kaelix, a music piece he composed especially for the prep. Ever since then, the chat went silent as if he just vanished. No call, no text, no farewells, no explanations, nothing. He originally thought that Kaelix was simply too busy prepping for the upcoming college entrance exam, something important for preps like him. But as time goes by, the thread of thought has thinned into worry, then disappointment, finally stopping at acceptance.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqS3B8Mu66b
What else was he supposed to do with this cliff-fall of an ending?35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zc6weTwCW
He wondered if the prep was deliberately cutting him off, as being with a delinquent like himself was an embarrassment. But he knows Kaelix, he valued connections, this was something he wouldn’t do. He wasn’t as shallow as all the other people.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhmIukjRS6
Or at least, that’s what he hoped to be the truth.
If it was the younger him that ran into these things, he would’ve hated the person for the rest of his life. He would question their reasons, even would’ve punched them if he had the chance. Ties would be cut if they weren’t as important without a moment of hesitation. Yet here he was now, making excuses for Kaelix’s actions. He used to be more direct with these things, and now he’s the complete opposite.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j00bbPnCk
“You’re living to be a coward, Ginjoka.” Younger Zeal sneered.
Perhaps, but it doesn’t matter as long as Kaelix was happy.
Even if it meant that he was removed from the vision.
Even with the mindset, he didn’t want to be completely erased from Kaelix’s life. He wanted to be remembered, even if it was just for a second, even if it was just a cross of his mind. He used to care less, but now he wanted more because it was Kaelix.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncnKW4uqSJ
Without the prep’s everyday chatter, Zeal’s world has returned to silence. But he was no longer comfortable with it, he even felt, lonely. During his first year, Zeal would check for Kaelix’s message. Sometimes, he would type in “How’s life?”, but the message was never sent. He would type, delete, leave the chatroom, and the cycle goes on. At first, he didn’t want to be a disruption in his studying. Then, he didn’t want to disrupt his life. Perhaps the two of them had the same mindset, as Kaelix never sent in a message as well.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDrpABtDzA
“Chicken.” Young Zeal was mocking him.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw0I6aovuJ
Perhaps snakes that live in the shade, like himself, shouldn’t have ever touched the sun. As he now longs for the warmth. For the past two weeks he spent with Kaelix, he has assumed — no, he got used to his presence. Now, as he was ripped away from it, the staggering difference was causing withdrawals. Bone-splitting pain, heart-aching sores, numbness and coldness creeping on his fingertips, discomforts he could not escape from. He yearned for the sunlight, to bask in its warmth once more. No matter how hard he tries to find it, he only found himself with more disappointment and pain. A white star with specks of blue, a unique warmth it brings, yet one that he could no longer have.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGg7e1qZcs
Waking up from a fever dream was never easy.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo2W6yNZ7N
As time passed, schoolwork was getting intense, his original song exploded in popularity, composing requests were coming in as a result. In his free time, he has learned how to mix drinks. He was busy balancing school and life, and he no longer remembered, or had time to check on the silent chatroom. After graduating, he moved back to the town he once lived in. He would occasionally go out for a run at night. Sometimes, he would be out looking for music inspirations, or trying out new coffee shops. Then, he got to befriend Seible and Freodore, work as a bartender at their live house By The Beat. He got to meet all kinds of people. In a blink, it has been five years since he’s had Kaelix in his life. The ice wall once melted has been rebuilt to the way it once was. Life went on, Earth continues to spin, his longing for Kaelix sets, boxed in the deepest parts of his memory.
But if he looked closely enough, he’d find faint traces of Kaelix in most of his memories, both big or small.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw0mmVO3sG
It was hoping that a certain someone was listening to his music somewhere whenever he releases a new one.
It was how he’d pass the neighborhood Kaelix lived on his nightly runs, hoping to see him again.
It was him looking for inspirations at the park where the two of them watched midsummer’s fireworks.
It was how he’d always order coffee with chocolates whenever he tries a new coffee shop.
It was there at the coffee shop they’ve once visited extensively where he met his two coworkers.
It was the base of tea liquor with a faint scent of honey, “Debonair”, the name of his first original cocktail, BTB’s signature drink.
It was how he’d describe the color of his retinals as sunsets and northern lights to people that were curious.
It was his everyday makeup, and the silver pendant on his left ear.
It was how he’d take glances at men with white hair and blue eyes by intuition.
Kaelix wasn’t ‘there’, but he was everywhere, moulded into the most insignificant parts of his life. In the air, in the cracks, in his heart, on his chest. He was moulded into him, rooted and inseparable. Saying that he has let it all go was a total lie, as all of his actions contradict the statement. Past him was talking again:35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQ04k8aV4L
“How sad and pitiful of a lie you have told.”35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBPLErn5p4
The truth is, he held on to these memories tightly, yet he was forced to let them go. It wasn’t that he couldn’t live without them anyways.
It was just that his world was less colorful.
A lot less colorful.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywSUS6a5lK
This day, as the three of them were preparing for business, Seible made an announcement.
“We’re introducing a new member to By The Beat, a bouncer! Finally I would have someone for company at the front.” Seible chirped.
“If you wanted some security, why not recruit Zeal for the job?” Freodore questioned.
“First, I didn’t think that it would be this busy; then, who knew that Gin-chan was this skilled at fighting; lastly, who else would mix drinks?” Seible answered with a sigh.
Some drunk person was causing problems at the bar a while back, in which Zeal tackled the man and brought him out of the premises. Not only did he do it all by himself, he was swift, and there was not a scratch on him. It was shocking for his two coworkers. When asked about his fighting skills, Zeal simply responded with “high school was wild.” The two did not question him further, which Zeal was thankful for. It wasn’t that they were shameful, per se, he just didn’t know where to start. High school life was too bland, his time with Kaelix was too bitter, neither of them were easy to talk about.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt64pWKwOq
Zeal just wiped down the glassware as he listens to the conversation. He couldn’t care less about a new bouncer joining them. After all, there’s little to no overlap between a bouncer and a bartender’s duties. He wasn’t all that much affected, he only hopes that the newcomer was as nice to be around with as Freodore and Seible are.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOyKTTlE9a
“He should be here about now.” Seible said with a glance at the clock.
Ring the door opens, right on cue. Zeal could hear the newcomer’s clear footsteps as his shoes hit the floorboards.
Clack, clack, clack
“Good afternoon, Seible.” The voice sounds familiar.
“Good afternoon. Let me introduce you to everyone before you introduce yourself. You know me already so let’s skip that. This is Freodore, our designer.” Seible brings the newcomer and introduces him to the other members.
“Just call me Freo.”
“Nice to meet you, Freo.” Was that him? The possibility was so slight he couldn’t try and hope.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZ8kdQHR1
Someone as slender and frail to be a bouncer? Impossible. A joke even. Yet his hand couldn’t help but tremble in anticipation. He was too scared to look up from the glass in his hand, he was scared of being wrong. He didn’t want to feel disappointment again.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94PBcCui5i
Clack, clack, clack footsteps matched his heartbeat. They approach closer, finally stopping in front of him.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMguVzm8oru
“And this is —“ Zeal raised his head, a familiar color of white flashed his eyes. His hand shook for a second, almost dropping the glass.
“We meet again, Ginjoka.”35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzOlRQZ4SG
Just like how he remembers him, he remembers as well.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGiK4Q9uyK
Still waters roared and started waves. Something in his heart sparked once more, the flames weak, but the warmth confirmed its existence. His appearance was mostly the same, snow-white hair and sky-blue eyes. The same bright sunlight in Zeal’s memory. He was taller and stronger, not quite as strong as Zeal was, but not as frail as he was five years ago. He looked more mature than before. Their interactions didn’t feel distant despite being so long apart. The reformed ice wall shatters within seconds in front of him. The world regained its colors under the light of the white and blue star.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXP1o68c9u
He watches as the man mouths:
“And it is my turn to protect you.”
The words made no sound, but Zeal could read them perfectly.
He had thought about what he would say when he meets Kaelix again. Should he ask about his disappearance or his life? Should he act nonchalant or should be be honest about his feelings? There was so much he wanted to say, and much more he wanted to ask. Words broke free of their confinement, rushing up his chest, dissipating into a single sentence as it reaches the tip of the tongue.35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyZI4m4TbE
“Well, nice to meet you again, our darling bouncer.“35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xrnRdZXdc
Ah, this must be another dream.
If this is merely another fever dream, hopefully I don’t have to wake up from this one.
35Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJSQSeW84q
- As we meet again, day 1
ns216.73.216.139da2
and then Add to home screen.