[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnfuVJyrUa
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AXe7GE9rr
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD9HQnbcLr
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImaquevq9E
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQT0hYmnEj
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPJ7j4LmIM
def exploit_humans(): 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvajb7IlKL
if employee.emotion == "despair": 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQJTLhdYNi
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8sW9x41io
else: 370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECJ3wjL9Ah
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB4RJ3p0c0
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wojMRQxYC
370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsGStSLKZr
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15s5jYDSZx
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOa1WFxroSU
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUywUftUZc3
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6DjMuQj9t
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vLIpW6yMP
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hhKSnkuBQ
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz3GiWP1Ih
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASVUM7BJuX
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUKLZjwhEk
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:370Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMyKyz26a3
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.216.33da2
and then Add to home screen.