[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDm9JzdLVx
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVcCK9iSdA
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8teBEWc1pt
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfocP6lHeaN
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4CmBJ4ESa
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sPQRVErKf
def exploit_humans(): 147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcu2ex03Yw
if employee.emotion == "despair": 147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIMgnQJQhJ
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFz46ycK5S
else: 147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL7IOHbH2O
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnIi4Dbmxq
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgcGrlDhZN
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJxmRnrupw
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm6bOPMi9l
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeJbJqKnbZ
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvXJbZiU0k
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUGJXV5Vjg
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJOWVXX6nG
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7xtMlGH9h
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuBISbNQQH
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneHPddWqLq
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAnSZLS3nm
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYCcVkHG34
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.216.107da2
and then Add to home screen.