Two days after the spring dance, Nina lost to a dream.
For two days, the memory had been a wound. And on the third night, she lost to a dream of it. She knew it was a dream—the same laughter, the same lights, the same slow parting of the crowd to reveal her little brother, Wolf. With Teva.
The kiss that brought them closer and took her brother away.
She wasn't envious they found love. She didn't want what they had. But she was tired of not being needed. Teva was forgiven for lying, but not her, even when she did it to protect him. And the two people she wanted love from most in the world had found each other instead.
She wasn't sure why the gods forced such cruelty on her. Seeing it once wasn't enough? How many more times would it repeat?
Morning came after restless sleep. She was grateful to wake. She was already packing. Wolf had failed to even try and reconcile with her after months, so if his new life meant that much more, then she would not keep trying to be a part of it.
Since the night of the dance, she had waited. She watched from the edges that night. She listened for his knock the morning after. Yesterday, she'd hoped he would come to the house, demanding to know why she wasn't at the shop. For two days, she waited.
He never came.
If he didn't have time for her now—after everything—then she wouldn't keep begging for scraps of his attention. She'd tried. Gods, she'd tried. She'd helped at the shop every day, smiled when it hurt, waited for things to go back to how they were. But four months had passed since the ogre, and Wolf still felt distant. Polite. Careful. When she did show up for work, it was like she was just an employee in his shop, not family seeking support.
The kiss at the dance had just been the moment she stopped lying to herself about it.
Her ears drooped as she let out a little sigh. She knew nothing would change by waiting. But she had hoped—maybe, if she gave him even more time, he would prove her wrong. Not prove her right, time and time again, that he did not need her anymore.
Wolf, her loving little brother, had grown up and moved on without her. And found a new beastkin.
And it was Teva. Her best friend and enemy. Frenemy? She thought she'd heard that word before. She guessed now she knew why it was invented.
She tiptoed through the house, trying to be quiet, unsure if everyone had recovered from the dance. Most had been intoxicated or wrapped up in cleanup, and her heart just wasn't in it. Everything felt like a mess, reflecting her own heart, and she couldn't handle picking up the pieces.
The smell of eggs in the kitchen surprised her. Mom was here, versus out working?
Heading into the kitchen, her tail wagging at this semblance of normalcy, she stood near her.
"Nina, dear, are you hungry?—Wait, what's wrong? Why do you look upset?" A gentle hand brushed Nina's head, and she fought the tears that warred with her resolve for change.
"I'm fine, Mom. I just… need a change."
"Well, I already started eggs, but I don't mind making you something else?"
Nina gently shook her head. "No. The change I need… won't be found here."
It was a slow, quiet talk, Nina choosing carefully what she wanted her mom to hear. It boiled down to her missing her old tribe life—a lie—but being unsure where she wanted to go from here—a partial truth.
"Well, daughter, you know you're always welcome here.... Does Wolf know? Or Leena? How long 'til you plan to leave? We could throw a little party to see you off."
Mom was already planning, rattling things off to make it a big thing. Nina slowly shook her head.
"Len knows a little. I've been talking with her before she trains with Terra. But she's been busy with her own life.... Same with Wolf. I plan to get Nebo to take me as soon as possible. He was recovering from the celebration yesterday, but he took medicine. I'm sure he can travel today."
"Why so soon? What's the rush?" Mom asked, sensing things were being left unsaid.
As Nina squirmed for an answer, a gentle hand brushed her head again, pressing her into her mom's chest. "Okay. Just remember to write. We'll miss you. I hate that everyone growing up means I can't protect any of you."
Nina grasped her back, happy to be loved even while feeling abandoned. Part of her had hoped Mom would say no. Would need her here so badly that leaving wasn't an option. But Mom just smiled and let her go. "It's okay. I promise, one day I'll be back. I just need to find myself, that's all." It was probably the truest thing she'd said to herself and anyone in a while.
She enjoyed the time spent with Mom and knew she would miss her, but her resolve wouldn't change. Not when no one was fighting to make her stay.
She left to tell her sister more directly. She was sure Leena knew this was coming, but probably not how far she would go.
Not that Len would care too much, playing hero.
Her ears went flat and her tail dropped. She knew that was taking it a bit far. Len had never shown her anything less than love and kindness, so why hadn't her brother?
The walk to see her sister was a somber one. The day was bright, and a few people she passed along the way greeted her with a smile. She tried to show the same respect, but her heart wasn't in it as she approached the blacksmith shop.
At the counter was a tall, fiery-looking man with red eyes, polishing a piece of armor—a shoulder guard? She wasn't sure. It looked like a shoulder piece. He caught her staring and spoke.
"Gud eye. It my latest wurk. Water armur—can heal a bit." Terra's dad spoke with pride.
She smiled, tail wagging. He was always nice, despite looking like a giant brute. Though she didn't have the heart to tell him it just looked like regular armor to her. She nodded instead as he spoke about the time it took to get the melding right and increase the healing effect.
After a bit of being polite, she asked, "Is Leena here?"
He nodded and pointed to the back, which she gratefully left to find her sister.
The sound of grunts and thrusts soon met her ears, and she wanted to laugh at how it sounded—like Len was fighting cramps and random monsters made of air. When she came into view, the sight didn't help. Watching her swing at nothing while Terra cheered her on from the side made it even funnier.
"U doing good! Another ten, then rest! We'll see if Da wants to spar. If not, maybe we can go for a run before we go—O, FOXY IS HERE, LEN!"
That did make her laugh. She wasn't foxy... though she didn't mind the nickname.
Len was wearing loose-fitting clothes with her hair pulled back, looking at her with concern as she wiped the sweat off her face.
"Sister, it's good to see you, but you never visit? Is everything okay?"
"O COURSE!" Terra shouted, drawing both their attention as she ran up, hugging Nina before going on. "Foxy came to see her sisters train! Maybe talk about boys?"
She spun Nina around easily, dizzying her a bit and making her laugh—until her words hit about the boys, and it soured just as quick. Terra, lost in the moment, didn't see, but as she put Nina down, Len's concern just deepened, knowing Nina wasn't here for fun.
Well, dragging it out wouldn't change anything. And she'd already made her choice.
"I just came to say goodbye."
Leena was processing what she said, seeking the words to respond, but Terra, the ever-loving giant, still couldn't read a room.
"Why? U just got here! That much of a hurry to chase a boy?" Terra laughed at her own joke, even as Nina flinched, not liking the reminder of why she was leaving.
Everyone found love and happiness but not her.
Well, technically Len was alone too, but she was happy alone. Not Nina.
"I think she means she wants to leave town, but I'm not sure why?" Leena finally spoke, and Terra finally stopped feeling full of mirth, wondering what had changed.
"I just need a change. I didn't want to leave without telling you, that's all." Nina looked away, not wanting to see Len's gaze. Terra scratched the side of her face, unsure.
"You can stay here. We never said you had to leave," Terra tried, making sense of the exchange.
"I think it's about our brother," Leena spoke, cutting right to the point, annoying Nina.
"NO! I... just need a change. Maybe see my old tribe life for a bit..." Nina held her arm to her side. This was supposed to be a simple goodbye, but it was harder than she'd wanted. But she wasn't going back down easy—not when every day would be another day with her brother ignoring her.
"Okay, sister. We can't make you stay, but we do want you to be safe," Leena carefully tried to assure her.
"Dunno whut ya mean, but Foxy, I see ya like family, so do what works for U."
Terra went up to Len and patted her on the back. "Going tell Da to make us some food. We still need to do that run soon—don't want you getting fat."
Len swiped at her as Terra ran, laughing. A tinge of jealousy made Nina want to stay, not liking how close they were. But she bit her tongue.
She was the one who chose to stay away. She couldn't blame them for having their own bond.
Gently, arms and a faint scent engulfed her, and a bit of healing light from Len glowed and flowed into her, as if trying to heal all her pain. She grasped her back, fighting tears.
"Sorry, Len... but I do have to go."
"Okay."
"I'll always be here."
Nina was torn—wanting to justify her choice, wanting Len to demand answers. But instead, she got warmth and acceptance. Maybe that should have been enough. But it wasn't. Not when what she'd really wanted was for someone to say they needed her too much to let her go.
The visit was brief and peaceful. From there, they promised to keep in touch. Terra remained loving but dull to why Nina felt the way she did as she left to see Nebo.
The trip to the family shop was brisk and uneventful. The town was mostly cleaned up, surprising her now that she was brooding less and able to notice. It seemed the majority was done yesterday, and things were mostly back to normal.
Near the counter, she found Nebo with Dad. When she explained her desire to leave, Dad was more shocked than Nebo. But then, Nebo had known since the morning after the dance, when she'd found him hungover and told him she couldn't stay. He'd spent yesterday preparing, sobering up, respecting her choice enough not to try and talk her out of it.
She wouldn't have listened anyway.
It didn't take much convincing. Dad gave in easily enough, like Mom. He regretted that she felt the need to find herself elsewhere but looked forward to the day she came back, which made her tail wag as she promised she would.
She was of two minds—happy they respected her, but also hurt that they, like her little brother, weren't fighting to keep her.
They all said the same thing. "We'll miss you." "Come back when you're ready." "We support your choice."
No one said: "Don't go. We need you here."
The sting didn't lessen when he asked the same thing as Mom: Did Wolf know? It was insulting. They seemed to care more about Wolf being informed than about the fact that Wolf had already left her behind.
So she lied and said he did know. If Wolf was too wrapped up in Teva to notice she was leaving, she wouldn't force him to care. Besides, she had given him plenty of time to stop her.
The ride out of town was a quiet, somber one. As she looked back one last time, hoping to see Wolf yelling for her to wait—a desperate gamble—she accepted the choice she had made when it never came.
Nebo was looking better, not just recovering from drinking but proud, like he had a purpose. She felt bad. Even as she cried over losing Wolf, Nebo was here—steady, reliable, willing to take her anywhere.
"Thank you, brother."
A brief chuckle slipped from Nebo's lips. "It's nothing new. You always did things on a whim."
Her ears went flat, unsure if it was an insult or insight. Probably an insult.
"Whatever. Not like I'm going to miss you anyway," she huffed, trying to turn away, though sitting side-by-side on the carriage left her nowhere to turn.
"Don't pout. I understand. And you'll see Wolf again someday."
"I'm making my own choice! It has nothing to do with Wolf!"
Nebo just nodded slightly, that small grin on his face—the one that meant he saw right through her but wouldn't push. He knew she was lying. He probably knew she was still hoping Wolf would chase after the carriage, even now when it was far too late. But he loved her enough not to say it out loud.
"They might try to make you an elder again," Nebo spoke after a few awkward moments of silence.
She knew it could happen. She was hoping they'd let that go—enough time had passed. Yet now she wasn't sure if they would even welcome her back. She had just assumed they would.
"Will they even want me there?" A bit of fear crept into her voice at the uncertainty.
"Please. You're all they talk about when I deliver there."
"WHAT? WHY?" Her ears perked up, and Nebo got her full focus.
He glared at her for the noise and sudden shift in mood. "People talk. Between you helping Wolf cure the weakness curse and becoming a hero fighting monsters, they see you as an idol."
Her ears drooped. This was worse than them rejecting her. She wanted to be free, to be in a new place to sulk, not be hounded by new followers.
An idol. That's what Nebo said they saw her as.
The word echoed in her mind, and suddenly she thought of Wolf. How everyone in town wanted something from him—his potions, his time, his magic. How he'd had to give everyone his attention even when he was drowning, because everyone needed the hero.
Had she been one more person demanding something he couldn't give?
A cold, sharp understanding settled in her chest.
Little brother... is that why you needed space? Everyone chasing you, needing you, never giving you peace? And then you found Teva...
She'd spent four months trying to understand why he'd changed. Maybe this was it. Maybe he hadn't rejected her—he'd just been trying to survive. To grow up and find his own life.
It didn't make it hurt less. But for the first time, she understood.
Aha. Little brother. Is that why you wanted to shoo me away? Been chased by everyone in town, you just wanted a bit of peace to live your own life?
Fine. I understand. I don't agree, but I understand.
And proof?
Let's see how it feels to be an idol when all I want is to be left alone. Just like you.
17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkoCscOUEM
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