The Herbert house was destroyed three months after Mr. Herbert turned himself into a tree. A company came in, bought the house and three other abandoned properties, and built a mansion on the combined land.
Lois: Look at that mansion being built, Peter. Who's moving in there?8Please respect copyright.PENANAQngRElhHED
Bonnie: I heard it’s just a vacation home for a group of people who might end up making it their full-time home.
Lois: Peter, did you see that new house being built where the old Herbert house was, along with those three abandoned properties?8Please respect copyright.PENANAhncfDeVUnY
Peter: Oh wow. That’s crazy.
A few weeks later, the home was completed. Carter and Babs saw the new mansion.
Carter: What an eyesore.8Please respect copyright.PENANAz3WEi7ru3f
Babs: Carter, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I like it.
A few weeks later, several vehicles rolled up to the newly completed mansion. One by one, the new neighbors stepped out—all blind or visually impaired.
Zack had his walker, but he could see well enough to drive.
Joni drove her Explorer, with Jeremy and Rose riding with her.
Zack’s vehicle had Diamond, David, and Cheryl as passengers.
Kris arrived in her own car, carefully carrying the electronics and other fragile items that couldn’t go in the moving trucks.
Pastor Dave and Dale—Joni’s boyfriend—drove the two U-Hauls.
As the group stood in front of their new home, admiring the mansion, Kris turned to Jeremy.
Kris:8Please respect copyright.PENANAp50jij4zST
Jeremy, you guys have a beautiful house. How did you afford this?
Joni:8Please respect copyright.PENANADeDXmPPMVu
Jeremy met a musician—who was it again?
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAXGA3K4BGHl
Snoop Dogg.
Joni:8Please respect copyright.PENANA6XVExgwbCS
Yeah, Snoop Dogg. Jeremy sold his entire back catalog of beats to him—for five hundred thousand dollars each.
After taxes, he ended up with thirty million dollars.
Kris:8Please respect copyright.PENANAchKSlBQHfs
What?! That’s crazy!
Scene: Inside the Mansion – Later That Day
They unpacked everything. Boxes were emptied, furniture was arranged, and by the end of the day, the new house felt like home.
Joni was in the kitchen, putting the final touches on a big meal for everyone.
Upstairs, Jeremy lay back on his bed, his record player set up neatly on his dresser. A familiar groove spun softly in the background.
Next door, Rose’s room had been set up right beside his.
Jeremy (calling out):8Please respect copyright.PENANAhDfxG5E0Xa
Rose—check this out! Pull this cord right here.
Rose (confused):8Please respect copyright.PENANAng51ZN3q9s
What?
[She pulls the cord. Suddenly, the wall between their rooms folds up and disappears like a high-tech divider.]
Rose:8Please respect copyright.PENANAY4Kj3LYoDh
Whoa!
Joni (from downstairs):8Please respect copyright.PENANAq0trbToVnV
Come on, you all—food’s on!
Scene: Mansion Kitchen – Early Evening
Joni:8Please respect copyright.PENANAVwJFEz1Rzz
Jeremy, I’m inviting some of the locals for dinner.
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANAgVFyW4hUFK
I thought you might say that. You’re out of printer ink, huh? HP 21+?
Joni (surprised):8Please respect copyright.PENANAaEdXnglBqD
Yes!
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAOpDu8ZLQ4d
Knew it.
They ate dinner while Jeremy popped open his printer, slid in the fresh cartridges, and got to work printing out invites.
He made invitations for:
The Griffins
The Swansons
The Browns
And Glen Quagmire—who, for fun, was invited at the same time as the Griffins.
The rest? Scheduled in fifteen-minute intervals so each family could have some private hangout time before the next one arrived.
Jeremy folded the invites neatly and slid them into each family’s mailbox.
Scene: Outside – Mailboxes at Night
[Jeremy is slipping an envelope into the Griffins’ mailbox when Joe Swanson rolls up in his chair.]
Joe:8Please respect copyright.PENANA7mIOFAytz7
Hey, what are you doing with the Griffins’ mailbox?
Jeremy (calmly):8Please respect copyright.PENANARAg5NW4iFm
Chill, Joe. I’m just putting in an invite. It’s for a hangout tomorrow night.
[He hands Joe an envelope.]
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANACvd5u1JWkI
Since you’re here—here’s yours.
Scene: Jeremy’s Room – Late That Night
That night, Jeremy was doing some late-night research on his laptop. Rose sat nearby, still in recovery mode, resting in a reclining chair.
Jeremy (looking at his screen):8Please respect copyright.PENANAzmoR5FnvaK
Hey Rose, have you ever had a graphite cane?
Rose (groggy, blunt):8Please respect copyright.PENANAadoRVFTauO
No!
Jeremy (shaking his head):8Please respect copyright.PENANABZ9f2QzZyN
I only had one… once. Never again. They’re flimsy, unworthy, and honestly, an insult to real mobility.
And get this—I just found out the guy who designed them used to work for Pewterschmidt Industries.
Rose (raising an eyebrow):8Please respect copyright.PENANA4OoIEZc3FW
What?!
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAFfCzsMJ3Lv
Yeah. Apparently, he pitched the idea to Carter himself, like, “Hey, let’s make canes.” And Carter—CARTER—goes, “Let’s make them out of pencil lead or something.”
Pencil. Lead. For blind people.
*[Rose stares, visibly unimpressed.]
Jeremy (firmly):8Please respect copyright.PENANAWARReRWouQ
And there’s no statute of limitations for trauma or destruction caused by bad accessibility devices. None.
Scene: Backyard – Late Afternoon
[Lois is sitting out back, enjoying some peace and quiet.]
Jeremy (approaching):8Please respect copyright.PENANA5NwmeUTncF
Howdy, neighbor! I’m Jeremy—the one who sent you the invite.
Lois (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANA2GwQBHFa3m
Oh! Pleased to make your acquaintance. Peter’s inside hanging with Stewie. Chris and Meg are doing homework. Stewie’s... well, locked in his room doing “science.”
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAeav49YAJgg
Cool. I wanted to show you something I found—it’s an article I printed out... about your father.
[He hands her the paper. Lois begins reading aloud, furrowing her brow.]
Lois (reading):8Please respect copyright.PENANAbfvIZGV5ot
"December 6th, 1997: Pewterschmidt Industries produces a new type of mobility cane... made of graphite?"
Graphite? That’s barely sturdy enough for golf clubs! How’s that supposed to hold up as a mobility cane?
Jeremy (nodding):8Please respect copyright.PENANAWeV3a6gjFF
Exactly. It doesn’t. I had one once when I was staying at Louceil Rains—about three-quarters of the way through the halfway house program. A lot of us from Bosma rehab stayed there.
Anyway, I had a night mobility assignment, and I accidentally slammed my door on my cane. It snapped like a twig.
Lois (shaking her head):8Please respect copyright.PENANAfFg96lfunA
So my dad was too cheap to make them out of decent material.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5eM46tdZe
Yep. And there’s no statute of limitations on trauma or product failure caused by an accessibility aid.
Lois (grimly):8Please respect copyright.PENANAtV3pC8lapK
Daddy deserves this. He’s done some heartless things, but this? Messing with mobility canes? That’s dreadful.
[Just then, Peter steps out with a sandwich.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANACJxHZqi0KK
What’s dreadful?
[Lois hands him the article. Peter reads a bit, wide-eyed.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANAZFogdVpDpZ
Ohhh man... Carter’s gonna be in BIG trouble.
Jeremy (with a sly grin):8Please respect copyright.PENANA5PDuWOaj1N
Well... your dad might not be rich for much longer. And you might want to give your mom a heads-up about what’s going on.
Anyway, I’ll see you tonight at 5.
Lois (nodding):8Please respect copyright.PENANACCePRSQgcn
Okay, see you then.
Jeremy (turning back):8Please respect copyright.PENANAL7vP1CYuBB
Oh—and no need to dress up. We’re just having fat sandwiches.
Oh! And please tell Peter—8Please respect copyright.PENANAU9CJKdFyfO
no beer.
Lois (raising an eyebrow):8Please respect copyright.PENANA2XjCZQVz4o
Why no beer?
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAwb1ePGCpTQ
Rose had to quit drinking after her stroke. If she sees someone else with one, it might tempt her. We just want to keep things comfortable for her.
[Peter, who had been lurking nearby, suddenly appears, clearly eavesdropping.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANAOocoE6cVYj
What?! No beer?! Damn it!
Jeremy (laughing):8Please respect copyright.PENANAgH3qnaaxK6
Yeah, I don’t drink the stuff. Neither does David, Terry, Zack, Diamond, or Cheryl.
But don’t worry—we’ll find you something you’ll like. We’re creative like that.
[The doorbell rings. Jeremy opens it. The Griffins are first to arrive.]
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANA3Pcn9hlpPg
Welcome! Come on in!
[Everyone steps into the grand foyer, their eyes instantly going wide.]
Peter (looking up):8Please respect copyright.PENANAke7GAztdEW
Whoa... Lois, look at the exposed trusses!
Lois (running her hand along a carved beam):8Please respect copyright.PENANArRVo2Cvc9y
And the woodworking! Peter, this is incredible.
Peter (still turning in circles):8Please respect copyright.PENANA68HYj3UL2L
I know, right? This place is HUGE. Like... is this the foyer or the lobby of a five-star hotel?
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANAPZgVDkmdwE
Glad you like it. Come on, come on—I’ll introduce you to everyone.
[They follow him in.]
Jeremy (gesturing):8Please respect copyright.PENANAhgcKLJ1Dqk
So, I’m Jeremy—obviously. Over here, sitting on her red-and-black walker, is Rose.8Please respect copyright.PENANAEz6Cazl6CP
Over in the silver-and-black walker with all the gadgets hanging off it? That’s Zack.8Please respect copyright.PENANAy9m5FVc5f2
Next to him is David, that’s Diamond, Terry, and Cheryl.
Jeremy (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANA8KM0D0JUL3
We’ll be offering house tours after dinner, if anyone’s interested.
[15 minutes later, the Browns arrive. Introductions happen. Shortly after, Glen Quagmire rolls up solo and slightly out of breath.]
Quagmire (waving):8Please respect copyright.PENANApEzZ5CESlk
Hey folks, sorry I’m late! I was on the phone with my sister—she finally found a decent guy who treats her right. Can you believe it?
[He steps inside, eyes scanning the space.]
Quagmire:8Please respect copyright.PENANAa8LkmEUsKu
Man... would you look at this place. It’s like MTV Cribs had a baby with Architectural Digest and gave it a Bluetooth sound system!
[Cue Peter gently elbowing Lois and whispering.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANAzt2WZrJ122
Lois, I hope our house doesn’t feel small now.
Lois (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANA6uMwXmNzGK
Peter, our house always felt small. This just makes it official.8Please respect copyright.PENANADiV88To0NJ
8Please respect copyright.PENANA9k5h6zXQqs
Scene: The Swansons Arrive – Sandwich Shenanigans Begin
[Just then, the Swansons roll up. Joe leads the way, his eyes wide as he scans the place.]
Joe:8Please respect copyright.PENANA9aebRaiats
Hey—sorry about last night. I just like to keep an eye out for everyone in the neighborhood. Can’t help the cop brain, y’know?
Jeremy (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANAyzGEOljmE5
Not a problem at all, Joe. You're just doing your thing. Come on in—we’re in the kitchen getting things ready.
[They all follow Jeremy into the kitchen. He claps his hands and announces like a sandwich architect unveiling his masterpiece.]
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAaZiKh5Wls5
Alright, talk to me—we’re having fat sandwiches tonight. Let’s build one.
Jeremy (to Peter):8Please respect copyright.PENANAFbefzEc6Bb
Bottom layer—what kind of lunch meat do you want?
Peter (rubbing his hands):8Please respect copyright.PENANAoVJa4Wkk1p
Turkey!
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAsfgBKIBSWv
Good choice. Now cheese—your options are provolone, muenster, havarti, cheddar, colby, co-jack, or pepper jack.
Peter (thinking hard):8Please respect copyright.PENANAZcY5rupeEq
Pepper jack. Gotta have that kick!
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANA57gPQwv1vQ
Nice. And for the structural center of the sandwich... you want the pita pocket filled with mac and cheese, right?
Peter (eyes wide):8Please respect copyright.PENANAXFl2u6MF7y
Of course I do. What kind of sicko wouldn’t?
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAyaAZx6nWrG
Exactly. Now, for the top layer—pulled pork or Italian beef?
Peter (dramatically):8Please respect copyright.PENANAU8sLIIqv0B
You know what? I’m going with pulled pork. Let’s get sloppy.
[Everyone chuckles. Jeremy nods and starts assembling the monster sandwich like a deli ninja.]
Jeremy (clapping his hands again):8Please respect copyright.PENANAs6XlV8fSgR
Alright, Lois—let’s get you going. Lunchmeat first.
Lois:8Please respect copyright.PENANARTMawICTOY
I’ll have ham, please.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAB4FfJyPJR1
Excellent. And for cheese?
Lois:8Please respect copyright.PENANAHplijKw2jB
Provolone.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANA8f9zVA0O5m
Solid choice. Now, do you want the center—the famous mac 'n cheese-stuffed pita pocket?
Lois (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANArgQ30eXE3d
Sure, why not?
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAfHdvSzHzWN
Love that spirit! Now... top it off with pulled pork like Peter, or are you feeling Italian beef tonight?
Lois:8Please respect copyright.PENANAw0VDiwyQIv
I think I’ll go with the Italian beef.
Jeremy (turning):8Please respect copyright.PENANAD7cc9LoWAA
Meg, you’re up.
Meg:8Please respect copyright.PENANAuAgjAT7OQp
I’ll take pepperoni, havarti, yes to the mac and cheese, and pulled pork on top.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAW3l5SaPJvA
Nice combo. Chris?
Chris:8Please respect copyright.PENANA5ker5L0an2
Same as Meg, but switch the top for Italian beef.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANArAUh0TA4cG
You got it. Where’s Brian?
Lois:8Please respect copyright.PENANAohXHhJ96Vk
He had a date tonight.
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANArsBAOkEaGP
Well, we made a pre-sized Fat Sandwich just for Stewie. Small, but mighty. Just like him.
Jeremy (now looking to the Browns):8Please respect copyright.PENANAFwzB5arnPi
Cleveland, what can I get you?
Cleveland:8Please respect copyright.PENANAba1IZ3IjXu
I’ll have what Peter’s having.
[The rest of the Brown family all chime in with agreement except for Cleveland Jr.]
Cleveland Jr.:8Please respect copyright.PENANAChoneznKT8
I want the Italian beef, please.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAEwRw3T8F1y
You got it. Italian beef coming right up.
Jeremy (now turning to the Swansons):8Please respect copyright.PENANA66mZPSZmCC
Joe, Bonnie—you’re up.
Joe:8Please respect copyright.PENANAAG0fhKrwsn
We’re both gonna go with chicken breast, muenster cheese, yes to the mac, and top it with pulled pork.
Bonnie:8Please respect copyright.PENANAdlRv0xP3Yo
Same for me. That combo sounds amazing.
[Jeremy gives a satisfied nod and turns back toward the kitchen counter stacked with sandwich ingredients like a deli wizard.]
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANATrvh3igfJH
Alright folks, give us 10 minutes and we’ll have these tower-sized bad boys ready. Buckle up—this is not your average dinner party.
[15 minutes later, everyone’s seated at the massive dining room table. Plates are stacked, drinks are poured—well, almost.]
Zack (raising his glass):8Please respect copyright.PENANAAynmpY9Xnv
Alright, let’s get those drinks rolling!
[Everyone takes a sip of their soda—except Peter, who’s eyeing the cooler like it just insulted his ancestors.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANAjU5M0FIj3x
Uh... I don’t usually drink pop. Not really my thing.
Jeremy (grabbing a can):8Please respect copyright.PENANAKM3MfOoHZT
Here, Peter—try a Vernors ginger ale. Trust me.
[Peter takes a cautious sip, then blinks in surprise.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANA9tiprtVNlc
Whoa! That’s better than Canada Dry! I don’t like that stuff—it tastes like shampoo.
Jeremy (laughing):8Please respect copyright.PENANAza0NjeXhIn
Bro, same. It’s like licking a pine tree in a hospital.
Rose (with a warm smile):8Please respect copyright.PENANAHJv7mzObeh
Jeremy, we made a mean fat sandwich tonight.
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANA6RSiINb7Uw
We sure did. It's an edible masterpiece.
[Meg, suddenly gripped by food-fueled inspiration, goes full taco-neck-mode and devours one whole side of her sandwich like she’s on a cooking competition.]
Meg (mouth half full):8Please respect copyright.PENANAeVikvD1qi6
Mmmphkay... That’s good. Like, really good. I never would’ve guessed all this stuff together would work.
Stewie (eyes wide, nodding):8Please respect copyright.PENANA9W0cVkIjVK
I know, right? It’s like... if a Philly cheesesteak and a potluck had a beautiful, bready baby.
[Peter licks his lips, then his fingers, then—questionably—tries to lick his elbow.]
Peter:8Please respect copyright.PENANADNdMPPvVve
My goodness... I think I just fell in love. And I didn’t even have to swipe right.
Jeremy (standing like a proud chef):8Please respect copyright.PENANAEtu4sqAcRo
Guys—there is no wrong way to eat a fat sandwich. You wanna use your hands? Go primal. You wanna be sensible and use silverware? Be my guest.
Everyone nods, grins, and goes in for more bites as conversation and laughter fill the room.8Please respect copyright.PENANAzXyaGIVTLX
8Please respect copyright.PENANA8oQKBDpAse
Scene: Dining Room – Post-Sandwich Bliss
Jeremy (smiling proudly):8Please respect copyright.PENANA8bBH9hsQEZ
So... how is it, everyone?
[Stewie, now leaning back in his chair, licks his fingers and lips like a tiny food critic, then delicately wipes his face with his napkin.]
Stewie:8Please respect copyright.PENANAY3G67cWXPn
Pardon me while I take... the Itis.
Chris (confused):8Please respect copyright.PENANAKIUnRWGVIQ
The Itis?
David (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANAqD7rYG2FsT
That’s a food coma, buddy.
Lois (stretching and groaning slightly):8Please respect copyright.PENANAeyCqSveAgd
Man, Peter... we are gonna sleep like bricks tonight.
Peter (mouth full, slamming down the last bite):8Please respect copyright.PENANAfP7oydvUco
Oh yeah. Totally worth the future heartburn.
Chris (rubbing his belly):8Please respect copyright.PENANA6zmkyauPml
You know, that stuff’s pretty good.
[He turns to Zack, eyeing the mysterious object on his lap.]
Chris:8Please respect copyright.PENANAMa0mSbrnWm
Hey Zack, what’s the “P” button on your plastic pickle do?
Zack (raising an eyebrow):8Please respect copyright.PENANAN9vkF3zf29
Are your hands warm?
[Everyone starts laughing as Chris pulls his hands back.]
Zack (dead serious):8Please respect copyright.PENANAwMzJhoMFlX
You can’t be touching my pickle with cold hands, man.
[Zack presses the "P" button. The pickle suddenly lets out a loud, echoing yodel. Everyone stares in stunned silence for half a second... and then cracks up.]
Peter (jumping up):8Please respect copyright.PENANAZqCRjuGdk2
YES! That’s freakin’ sweet!8Please respect copyright.PENANAIxd4rGo55O
Scene: Dining Room – Wrapping Up Dinner
Jeremy (turning to Lois):8Please respect copyright.PENANA09HqOs9NdI
Lois, just a heads-up—there's a Fat Sandwich in the mini fridge in the corner. It's prepped and labeled for Brian.
[Lois nods, and just then, Quagmire leans over the table, eyeing Jeremy with curiosity.]
Quagmire:8Please respect copyright.PENANAVBA7e91vVE
Hey, I gotta ask, how does someone visually impaired afford a place like this? I mean, this is... luxury with extra mayo.
Jeremy (grinning):8Please respect copyright.PENANArOOPP5y9KG
Well, funny story—I sold about thirty million dollars worth of music beats to Snoop Dogg.
Quagmire (eyes popping):8Please respect copyright.PENANArWzBxWMHvl
Wait, wait, wait—you just made beats and sold them to Snoop?! Damn! Giggity doesn't even cover that.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANAqFzGNw95gJ
Yeah, he bought my entire back catalog. This place only cost me $755,000—so after taxes and all that jazz, I had plenty left to build the dream.
[Everyone murmurs and nods, impressed. Peter wipes his mouth with a napkin and leans back.]
Jeremy (standing up):8Please respect copyright.PENANAhpcdwNgLPT
Gentlemen, I'd love to give you all a tour of the place. Since we already washed all the dishes—except the macaroni pan and a couple of cooking pots—and we used giant paper bowls and platters for dinner, cleanup is basically done.
Rose (from the kitchen):8Please respect copyright.PENANASvIjYJBwht
I'm already packing up the leftovers.
Jeremy:8Please respect copyright.PENANADHqworIQRY
Perfect. Once we stash everything in the fridge, the house tour begins! You ready to see what thirty mil and a little imagination built?
Peter (smiling):8Please respect copyright.PENANA3USRxDQGEn
Only if I can yodel into that pickle again.
8Please respect copyright.PENANAmDRqeIDfDI