我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （Tier 1-3已完結，普通讀者連載中） - 二百零三

二百零三

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…

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我回想起當時忍唔住攬實葉佩儀時候既心情…

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係啊，其實我唔止想踏前一步，我仲想踏前多幾步，甚至乎係可以同葉佩儀行到最後一步。

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但，

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我恐懼了。

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呢兩日葉佩儀失咗踪咁唔應我，令到我好驚…真係好驚以後冇得再同葉佩儀做朋友。

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同上次我作客完越南返香港搵唔到葉佩儀唔同，今次佢失聯係咁啱響我送完佢返屋企、忍唔住攬實佢爭啲透露自己既心意之後，時間上巧合得令人起疑…究竟佢係咪真係好似上次咁真係冇帶電話去公幹？定還是好似余正熙所講咁，佢用咗兩日時間唔同我聯絡去沉澱下自己，然後為咗唔好影響同我既關係、唔好令我哋既關係變質，先至扮到冇事發生咁打比我，彷彿真係冇事發生過咁？

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我唔知。

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我淨係知我好驚。

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驚到自己鳩都縮埋。

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見我唔答，余正熙又道︰「你諗清楚，自己係咪真係甘心？真係唔會後悔？」

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呢個問題，我諗我好清楚自己既答案係乜…只係…

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啱啱呢兩日我已經嚇出一身冷汗，反正都係冇希望，我點解仲要冒呢個險？

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我唔想連同葉佩儀做朋友既機會都冇埋…

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「咁八婆儀啱啱搵我，好似冇事咁吖嘛！我諗我都係…」

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余正熙打斷咗我︰「我覺得佢係扮冇嘢啫，佢feel到有嘢既，如果唔係點會咁巧合冇帶電話去公幹？我係你既話就照去馬喇。」

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「咁你唔係我吖嘛…我有你咁靚仔我都去馬喇…」

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余正熙搖搖頭，道︰「你覺得八婆儀係個睇樣既人？」

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「…」咁又唔係…我係諗住回擊返余正熙，並唔係真係咁諗。

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「雖然我同佢冇見咁耐，但以我成個中學時期對佢既印象，佢都唔似係啲以貌取人既人…」

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我打斷咗余正熙說話︰「我都係講下啫，你唔駛咁認真…」

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「去馬喇，唔去馬你真係會後悔架。」余正熙道。

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「比我諗諗…」

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「唉…唔好再諗咁耐喇…」余正熙勸道︰「雖然話你做乜鳩決定我都會支持啫，但係我真係唔想你後悔…聽住，你做唔係一定會成功，但唔做就一定唔撚會成功。」

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唉，阿媽係女人，我知道做咗一定成功既話我狗衝咗去做喇…

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我就係知做唔係一定會成功吖嘛…唔止啊，如果失敗仲會好撚慘添啊，真係同葉佩儀連朋友都冇得做，而且仲好有可能見都冇得再見，甚至佢連請我飲都唔請啊。

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唉，其實如果兩日之前果晚，唔係因為我同葉佩儀喺我屋企公佈婚訊食完飯，仲比我知道咗佢背住我帶咗老豆去睇比賽搞到我鬼死咁感動，然後再散步行返屋企傾下心事，懷緬下當年，營造咗一陣…唔…點講呢…好有感情既氣氛，我都唔會咁衝動攬埋去想要表白…

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唉唉唉唉唉！之後葉佩儀既反應，嚇到我呢兩日真係諗都唔敢諗再表白既事啊！

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「你講就易，我做就難啊…」我嘀咕地道。

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「咁唔難就唔駛你咁撚煩喇。」余正熙一句得埋黎。

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「我會諗下架喇，人生大事，唔好咁兒戲決定，飲酒先！」我舉起空空如也既酒杯，笑道︰「哎呀，都唔記得咗飲晒啲酒添。我出去嗌酒，你飲咩？」

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「唉，屌你老味，你個人真係…」余正熙搖搖頭，表情好似有啲失望。

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我返咗屋企之後諗咗好耐好耐…我仔細咁咀嚼余正熙既說話、直直咁面對自己既心情，然後再回憶一下呢兩日既恐懼…

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究竟我係眼白白咁睇住葉佩儀嫁比石生驚啲吖，定係驚葉佩儀同我絕交多啲呢，我諗我就係要考周全呢兩樣嘢再去做決定。

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如是者過咗幾日，日日都有同葉佩儀聯絡，以WhatsApp為主，我哋之間就好似冇事發生過咁，冇人提返當日我攬住佢既果件事，更唔好話我有冇表白，又或者佢有冇察覺到我心意呢啲嘢。

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即係…其實係我哋兩個都刻意要保持返之前既關係？

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退一萬步黎講，假設葉佩儀真係估到、察覺到我既心意，佢而家咁既做法，即係其實佢都係珍惜呢份「友情」，而唔係想佢變質成「愛情」？

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其實，我都後悔咗咁多年喇，繼續後悔落去又有乜所謂？我都見住佢一個又一個咁去換男朋友囉，有乜嘢風浪係我大必哥未見過？況且我一表白既話，萬一好似今次咁連朋友都冇得做就大檸樂…

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冇錯、冇錯，做朋友算喇。

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都咁多年喇，我哋仲可以做到情侶咩？何況而家仲有石生呢座大石山擋住喺我前面添。如果葉佩儀真係鍾意我、佢個心係有我既話，又點會肯嫁石生吖？

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（待續）

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