我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （Tier 1-3已完結，普通讀者連載中） - 三百二十五

三百二十五

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（葉佩儀視角）

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一切都係如果…一切都係假如…

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其實，如果阿必真係鍾意我…如果…以前佢肯比少少勇氣…可能呢一刻既結局已經唔同咗。

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「媽咪…其實…我今晚同咗阿必食飯…佢聽日就飛架喇…」

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媽咪有啲吃驚，問︰「咁快？」

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「嗯，可能日本果面既球會想佢快啲去報到…」我都好唔捨得阿必咁快走…

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「儀，其實都唔駛急，就算係必仔佢去咗日本，而家科技咁發達，如果妳諗好咗有決定，到時候再搵佢都唔遲。」媽咪道︰「雖然呢件事係應該越快決定越，畢竟拖得越耐，對每一個人都唔公平，但妳都應該好好咁考慮清楚，尤其係自己既心意係點，唔好要自己後悔，知唔知？」頓了一頓，媽咪續道︰「就算妳用耐咗時間，做出咗個決定，到好炆水先同Sebastian講既，都唔緊要，就算妳到時悔婚，媽咪同妳一齊去同Sebastian道歉，請求佢既原諒，好冇？唔好比壓力自己，媽咪永遠喺妳身邊陪住妳。」

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聽到媽咪咁講，我冇可能唔感動…

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咦…但係…媽咪…點解妳講到我好似最後都係會決定悔婚咁既…

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明明我喺今日之後已經做咗個決定…

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淇淇…甚至媽咪，妳唔好要我動搖啊…

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「其實…我今日已經比咗個機會阿必…」我道︰「不過…佢冇把握到…」

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「哦？」媽咪微一愕然，問︰「妳決定咗？」

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「嗯…其實淇淇佢早過妳一步觀察到我有啲唔妥…加上阿必既朋友幫佢講咗幾句說話，所以尋日，淇淇就約咗我出黎傾計…」

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媽咪接住問︰「咁妳哋最後傾成點？」

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「佢好似妳講咁樣…仲有…佢講多咗一件事比我聽…一件…唉，冇嘢喇…」我嘆咗口氣…

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「乜嘢事？好重要架？」

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「而家唔重要喇…」我有啲難過地道。

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「關於必仔既？」媽咪接住問。

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「嗯。」

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「妳介唔介意講比媽咪知？」媽咪問。

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我猶豫咗一下，不過都係將林必才為咗我而放棄去日本件事話比佢知。媽咪其實唔係好清楚我大學時拍拖啲嘢，所以我都係有少少保留咁同佢講，不過以前因為媽咪對我好嚴，我都唔太敢將拍拖既事情同佢講，而家大咗，回望返啲往事再講出黎，其實冇乜嘢。

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只係，林必才為咗陪失戀既我而唔去日本，我係好感動，算係尋晚既一個trigger point，但歸根究底，我長期以黎所積壓住，對林必才既感情，先至係我想悔婚既主因…

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不過都唔重要了…而家既結局已經決定咗…

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「必仔佢肯為妳做到呢個地步啊…」媽咪聽完之後都有啲感概…

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「嗯…不過，佢最後都係決定乜都唔做…」

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「呢個必仔…真係…真係…」媽咪嘆咗口氣，道︰「佢真係個好仔黎。」

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好仔有乜嘢用？如果…佢有多一啲勇氣…如果…佢肯…跨出一步…

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「儀啊，妳真係決定咗？」媽咪問。

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我點點頭。

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「妳係咪真係諗清楚？」媽咪又問。

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係咪諗清楚…？

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總之後…呢個係我思考咗一晚之後做出嚟既決定…點會…點會唔係諗清楚呢…？

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交比林必才去決定…然後而家佢唔出手，繼續保持現狀，對我身邊既所有人，唔通唔係最好咩…？

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「嗯。」

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媽咪憐憫地摸摸我頭髮，道︰「但妳個樣係唔開心。」

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我知吖。

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可能係我任性，但係我真係完全冇掩飾過我既任何情緒，可能明眼人一睇就估到我心情唔係幾好，所以石生先會關心我、問我發生乜嘢事，只係我唔想答，亦都冇可能答，我只可以同佢講，我好攰。

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咁事實上我都唔係呃佢。

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呢兩日明明只係好短既時間，但我既心好攰。

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媽咪見我諗緊嘢唔出聲，續問︰「其實咁係咪證明妳其實唔想要呢個結局？」

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呢句說話真係觸動到我，我即刻望住媽咪。

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「如果妳係真心接受到呢個結局既，妳而家唔會咁既心情。」媽咪又道︰「可能妳係需要多啲時間去平伏呢個心情，但妳有冇諗過…件事其實仲有挽救既餘地？」

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…

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媽咪…妳再講既話…我既決心就會動搖架喇…

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我咬住唇唔出聲…

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（待續）

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