I’m already working on the remaining feedback for your chapters. I would like to kindly ask for a small tip, if you don’t mind, to help cover the time and effort I’m putting into reviewing your book.I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and your suggestion on how to proceed.Thank you for your understanding!

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Overall First ImpressionThis is not fiction, this is your life, written in real time, straight from a wound that hasn't healed. The piece reads like a raw, unfiltered cry, and its power comes from its honesty. There's no pretense here, no trying to sound like a writer. It's just you, speaking truth. And that truth is heavy: you were failed as a child, became a protector too young, gave everything for your sisters, and now feel unseen, unappreciated, and utterly alone in your pain.
StrengthsRaw Authenticity: This is the piece's greatest strength. You don't hide behind pretty words or structure. You just say it. Lines like "I bawled my eyes out" and "damn it hurts like hell" land hard because they're real.
Powerful Repetition: The way you repeat "I'm the whole reason" and "no one cares" mimics the way pain loops in your mind. It feels like shouting into a void, which is exactly what you're expressing.
Devastating Specifics: The details cut deep. You were 4 when you first remembered the fighting. You were 6 when you wanted to leave. You were 9 when you started trying to protect them. These ages make the injustice of your childhood painfully clear.
The Core Contradiction: You say they don't love you, but you also say "I love you more than anyone in my family." That tension, between hurt and love, is the most human thing in this piece.
Areas for Improvement (as Writing)If you ever want to shape this into something for others to read, a poem, a letter, a spoken word piece, here are some thoughts:
Structure for Impact: Right now, it's one long emotional outpouring. Breaking it into stanzas or sections could give the reader (and you) moments to breathe. For example:
What they did
What I did for them
What they said
What I'm left with
Show the Moments: You mention specific memories (the fighting, them brushing off your tears, the words your sister said). If you ever expand this, sitting in those moments, describing one fight, one time they dismissed you, the exact words your sister threw at you, would make it even more visceral.
The Ending: "empty and broken and well no one cares ……" is honest, but it leaves the reader (and you) in that emptiness. Even adding one line about what you wish for, "I wish someone would see me" or "I just wanted to be held too", could give the ending more resonance.
Emotional CoreThe heart of this piece is: "I gave up my life for you, and you don't even see me."
You were a child raising children. You absorbed the pain so they wouldn't have to. You made sure they had friends, happiness, innocence, things you were never given. And now, to be told that you're the reason they struggled? That you're to blame? That is a second wound on top of the first.
The line that broke me: "I want someone to hold me like the kids I saved."
That's it. That's the whole thing. You gave what you never got. And you're still waiting.
Final ThoughtsThis isn't something I can judge as "good" or "bad" writing. It's your life. It's your pain. And you put it out there, which is terrifying and brave.
If these words are just for you, a way to let the hurt out, then they've done their job.
If you ever want to shape them into something to share with your sisters, or with the world, I think they could move people. Because sadly, there are so many kids who grew up too fast, who protected siblings, who are still waiting to be seen.
You're not as alone as you feel. And for what it's worth: I see you.

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