Overall First ImpressionThis is a fantastic concept with real potential. A divided America, a mind-controlled populace, and one lone rebel trying to hold onto his humanity, these are the building blocks of a compelling dystopian story. The world you're building feels oppressive and lived-in, and Blue's struggle with addiction and creative expression gives him a personal, grounded conflict amidst the larger political one. The hook at the end ("The Tree") is intriguing and makes me want to know more.
StrengthsStrong, Original Premise: The division along the 36th parallel is a concrete and believable detail. The names "Northern Nation" and "Southern Nation" feel stark and official, immediately creating a sense of separation.
Rich Worldbuilding Details: You've included excellent small details that bring the world to life:
The missile sites constantly launching
Vyvanse as both medicine and escape
Art being illegal and attributed to AI
Bans on books containing "love and strong political ideas"
Compelling Protagonist: Blue is immediately sympathetic. His name matching his "blue colour scheme" is a nice visual touch. His poverty, his theft for survival, and his addiction make him a flawed, human character, not a perfect hero.
Intriguing Mystery: "The Tree" is mentioned as hope, but we don't know what it is yet. This is a perfect way to end an opening section, it gives the reader a reason to keep reading.
Areas for ImprovementShow, Don't Tell (Worldbuilding Edition): Right now, much of the information is delivered as exposition (telling us about the world). To make it more immersive, try weaving these details into a scene.
Example: Instead of "Hemlock was terribly crowded... due to the everlasting missiles launching," show us Blue trying to sleep while the windows rattle from a launch. Show him walking down a street so packed he can't move, everyone's faces blank.
Example: Instead of telling us art is illegal, show us Blue hiding a small drawing under his mattress, heart pounding as footsteps approach his door.
Pacing of Information: The opening paragraphs deliver a lot of information at once. Consider spreading these details out as Blue moves through his world. Let us discover Hemlock alongside him.
Clarity on the Antagonists: The terms "Deceivers" and "Infiltrators" are introduced but not fully explained. What's the difference between them? Are they government agents, brainwashed citizens, something else? A tiny bit more clarity would help the reader understand the threat level.
Sentence Flow: Some sentences are quite long and could be broken up for readability.
Example: "Since jobs have gone back to paying scarily low wages, and prices only rose from there, he couldn't get what he needed." could become: "Jobs paid poverty wages now. Prices only climbed higher. Blue couldn't get what he needed."
This creates a more urgent, staccato rhythm that matches the dystopian tone.
CharacterizationBlue: He's well-drawn. His dual escapes, Vyvanse and art, show a person desperate to feel something other than the oppression around him. The detail that he overdoses intentionally suggests a deep pain and self-destructive streak that makes him complex. I want to know more about how he became "the only one" who sees through the lies.
The Deceivers/Infiltrators: Currently feel a bit like vague villains. Giving them one specific, memorable action or trait would make them more threatening.
Worldbuilding/SettingThis is the story's greatest strength. The concept of a society that has banned art, love, and free thought, replacing human creativity with AI, feels disturbingly relevant. The detail that residents are "easy to mould" after the sudden division is chilling. The missile sites constantly launching is a brilliant touch, it suggests a permanent state of war and fear.
Pacing & StructureThe opening is information-dense, which slows the pace. Consider starting with Blue in a specific moment, stealing food, hiding a drawing, dodging an Infiltrator, and then feeding us the world details through his eyes. This would create immediate tension while still building the world.
Final ThoughtsYou have a powerful and timely concept here. The world of Hemlock is terrifying and well-realized, and Blue is a protagonist worth following. The main work now is translating your excellent ideas from exposition into lived experience, showing us this world through Blue's actions, not just telling us about it. Trust your reader to piece things together. The mystery of "The Tree" is a great hook. I'd genuinely like to read more and see where Blue's hope leads him.

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