The mountain was steep, the heat suffocating, and the smell of sulfur stung the nostrils. Shrek, dripping with sweat, wiped his forehead and glanced at the donkey dragging his hooves behind him.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qGk3Mnhcx
— You think she’s pretty? the Donkey asked, blinking. ’Cause seriously, between the cliffs, the moat, and the piles of bones… I’m not feeling optimistic.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsZNgurNM7
Shrek grunted, adjusted his leather strap, and muttered:
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kVDK9Gyjo
— Doesn’t matter. I’m not here to fall in love. We find the princess, take her to that short stack Farquaad, and I get my swamp back. End of story.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK8kB8cyyD
They climbed the last few steps to the main tower. The dragon — oddly well-manicured — let them pass with a sigh and went back to flipping through a magazine called Draco Glam. The Donkey froze, eyes wide.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUi8gUZFLq
— That dragon just told us to go up… and not mess up her manicure. I’m not hallucinating, right? She talked, didn’t she?
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObJDP5nhrC
Shrek didn’t answer. He kicked the tower door wide open.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9vOE1pJei
— PRINCESS FIONA?!
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXfKkcxhA0
The crash cut off the upbeat music. Feathers flew. Nail polish spilled. And four pairs of eyes turned toward him.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLs9LkFZmSe
In the center of the room, sitting on a plush pink pouf, Fiona — dressed in leggings and a “Born to Reign” t-shirt — held a pineapple cocktail. Around her, Snow White was playing Uno with Little Red Riding Hood, while Cinderella organized sheet masks in a mini-fridge.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0kq5hMPIo
Fiona stood, hands on her hips.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DYPlHa1UJ
— Who’s that?
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFJGc3j5yE
— Uhh… he’s an ogre, giggled Snow White. Cute boots.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpSsdvsZtW
Shrek, clearly thrown by the scene, paused a beat before speaking.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi92mgp9yU
— Uh… yeah. Hi. Princess Fiona, I assume? I was sent by Lord Farquaad. He wants to marry you, and he sent me to come get you. So… let’s go.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJltnK5tDxa
Fiona blinked slowly.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh9Pw1EvsG
Then burst into laughter.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeNtuLgIgG
— Wait… wait… you seriously just barge in here, all like “Hey, come with me,” no shining armor, no horse, no flowers… and you expect me to just leave? Tonight? During this?
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0lzvjcIUe
— Listen, I crossed a swamp, almost got toasted by a dragon, and haven’t slept in two days. I’m not here for nail polish or party games. You’re coming with me. Now.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4Q4LjZVyB
She rolled her eyes and pointed at the coffee table.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsEVDBTOeO
— We are in the middle of girls’ night. Cinderella’s doing bath potion workshops, Snow White set up a medieval music quiz, and Red brought homemade hazelnut cookies.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2gAp4ZQAp
— They’re gluten-free, added Red proudly.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyTfnDe3sw
— So, sorry Mister Ogre, but I’m not about to ditch my besties for some random guy in smelly leather who can’t even say “hello, princess.” If Lord Farquaad wants me that bad, he can wait. Come back tomorrow. After brunch.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXkmT0MwHq
The Donkey, who had crept in behind Shrek, raised a hopeful hoof.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlO9UzqZuH2
— Can I… maybe have a cookie?
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIoO8eWVwL
The dragon rolled a tray toward him with one wing. The Donkey squealed with joy.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRgTXbW6Xz
Shrek scowled.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WabAxb88h
— You realize I risked my life getting here? I’m supposed to rescue you.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIhHrCHmFW
Fiona crossed her arms.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3ncAJKzks
— And I’m supposed to swoon because you showed up? No flowers, no courtesy, no explanation — just “let’s go”? You’re not here to save anyone. You’re here to finish a job.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86paR8Y5Nb
Shrek muttered under his breath.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WKrdpVgVZ
— I’m just trying to get rid of the little creep who stole my swamp…
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQxrPenYx5
Fiona smirked.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gImyfLD62
— So we all have our reasons. You’ve got your swamp. I’ve got my girls’ night. So here’s the deal: tomorrow evening, 6:30. Knock three times, I’ll fake a scream, the dragon will roar, you carry me down, and boom — you’ve got your story. Cool?
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51QWDMnv0D
Shrek sighed, defeated.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUz4GMBEA8
— Great…
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyvd2d2ohA
The door slowly shut. A hand-painted wooden sign hung from the knob:
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3Qab1OLZT
“Queens’ Night — No Boys, No Drama.”
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvxEJXY5Hh
Shrek stood in silence for a moment, then grumbled:
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVS5M0Ueps
— What kind of messed-up kingdom is this…
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aiDkvEVIo
— Honestly? I think it’s amazing, said the Donkey, mouth full. They’ve got style. And snacks. Look — I got a hot towel that smells like lavender!
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpkwKaZPXa
As they made their way down the spiral staircase, the dragon yawned lazily and wished them goodnight… with a puff of glittery smoke.
78Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoeU5c91LD
Tomorrow would be another day.
But tonight, the top of the tower belonged to princesses, gossip, glitter, and unapologetic girl power.
and then Add to home screen.